Powerful Words
This article ran in the Friday edition of the Hollywood Reporter.
"Merv Griffin was gay.
Why should that be so uncomfortable to read? Why is it so difficult to write? Why are we still so jittery even about raising the issue in purportedly liberal-minded Hollywood in 2007? We can refer to it casually in conversation, but the mainstream media somehow remains trapped in the Dark Ages when it comes to labeling a person as gay.
Maybe that helps explain why Griffin, who died of prostate cancer Sunday at 82, stayed in the closet throughout his life. Perhaps he figured it was preferable to remain the object of gossip rather than live openly as "one of them." But how tremendously sad it is that a man of Merv's renown, of his gregarious nature and social dexterity, would feel compelled to endure such a stealthy double life even as the gay community's clout, and its levels of acceptance and equality, rose steadily from the ashes of ignorance.
I'm not at all insinuating that Griffin had a responsibility to come out. That was up to him.
But what a powerful message Griffin might have sent had he squired his male companions around town rather than Eva Gabor, his longtime good friend and platonic public pal. Imagine the amount of good Merv could have done as a well-respected, hugely successful, beloved and uncloseted gay man in embodying a positive image."
Click here to read the rest of the article by Ray Richmond.
If You Are Easily Offended…..
Dodging The Question
I couldn't agree with that article more. It is sad that Mr. Griffin, who was loved by so many wasn't comfortable enough to come out of the closet. Now Tom, Clay, Queen, Ricky, Missy, Jodie, Anderson, John, Mike and so many others are following suit. Hopefully, there will be a public figure who will step forward to inspire those who are still cowering behind the closet door.
In all seriousness, Merv is from a different generation. He was only doing what was right for that time. I wouldn't have expected him to be any kind of gay role model.
Wow, the next thing youll be telling us these people are gay:
Ryan Seacrest
Haley Joel Osment
Kevin Spacey
James Spader
Clay Aiken
Ricky Martin
Chris Tucker
Ah, NO SHIT.
He probably didn't come out because gays are disgusting! It would mar his career if it were known that he was a dick sucker. He shouldn't have felt comfortable living his life as a fag because IT'S NOT FUCKING NORMAL, YOU FUCKING LIBERAL ASSHOLES!!!
awwww, glad you posted this Perez. I hope this really does reach others in the media. Slowly but surely we're getting there! One day gay people will have equal rights and it will be no big deal to be gay.
"In the closet?" That old queen was FLAMING, and he never sucked up to female celebs the way dykes Rosie & Tyra do. I wanna see the sex tape. What kind of kinky shit was this old flamer into? $10 rough trade?
Jesus Fucking Christ this article was written by a gay person OF COURSE and it was Mervs RIGHT to come out or not to come out and why don't you SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE PEREZ AND LET PEOPLE BE PEOPLE?? They say its not good to talk shit about the dead and I hope that Merv HAUNTS YOUR SORRY ASS FOREVER!!!
Gay or straight, people can do a great deal of good in this world and they don't need to be "out" to necessarily live their lives or do good things. Why is sexuality so important? I know a lot of gay people who are out to their friends but don't go around beating a drum or marching in parades. It's really, ultimately, nobody's darned business!
Morrie's Wigs DON'T COME OFF!
It's a sad way to live, having to keep up a phony front with women. We should ask John Mayer maybe he knows why.
listen dudes! the film industry is totally hetro and homo-phobic..if you have a career in film….dont tell em you gay!!!
When will you realize the only thing these people careabout is THEMSELVES and MONEY$$$$.
They dont give a fuck about YOU/"The Public"/fans.
All they care about is making as much money as they can. And they CERTAINLY are not going to fuck that up by admitting they are gay.
Get a clue.
Plus, no redeck was going to become a loving caring person just because Merv admited he was gay.
When I lived in Malibu, I waited tables and Merv Griffin often visited my restaurant. This man was not remotely in the closet. He was a regular guy who may have been rich and successful, but he was a regular guy who had lunch and dinner with his friends, most of whom appeared to be fun-loving gay men who adored the chance to relax and laugh over a delicious meal in a gorgeous restaurant.
Mr. Griffin was a joy to serve. He was polite, kind, forgiving and always tipped well. He wasn't an excessive tipper, but he always left in the neighborhood of 30% and he and his friends were a pleasure to see.
I cannot believe that anyone who has ever met the man would have the nerve to meet his death with comments that suggest he had a hidden secret life. This is blatantly absurd.
I am a straight woman. For this reason I couldn't give a rat's ass about whether Merv Griffin was gay or not, but still after waiting on him about a dozen times, I can say with 100% certainty that he was an extremely kind man who deserves the respect he earned. Anyone who would have the nerve to suggest that he wasn't out of the closet enough is a goofball and should find something else to concern their microscopic brain.
shout out to all the celebrities in the closet, it is soooo obvious. i wont mention no names. Everyone is entitled to their privacy. BUT when is our gay hollywood figure going to stand OUT
and show this numb planet that being gay is as obvious as your mail man, polica man, fireman, talk show host, comedians, wrestler, teacher, football player, baseball player, boss, bus driver, etc etc etc. This world will be a better place. We're everywhere especially in hollywood. Stand OUT!
GET OVER IT……… If he wanted to come out he would of. we knew it …. He said nothing. It was his choice …. respect it. If you wish to scream it from the highest tree in Miami, do so but leave Mel alone. He was happy with what he did… Accept it
leave eva gabor out of it! she was simple helping her friend!
Hmm. Just fyi - not everyone's a turd burgler.
I wish he would have come out. I wish we lived in a world where no one gave a fuck about who you loved or had sex with. It really would have been nice for him to have lived as an uncloseted gay man and been someone for gays, lesbians and the rest of humankind to aspire to be. However, we don't live in that world. I wish we did.
In the end, why does it matter? Why do we have the need to "out" him? The man didn't "out" himself during his life, so why must we insist to "out" him in his death?
Gee. and I thought you wrote RIP when you first announced his death. Let the man be. He grew up in a different time, during which he formed his own opinions about how believed he should live his life. And he did it quite successfully. Just because certain parts of the world started announcing their homosexuality does not mean Merv necessarily felt that that was the way for him to go. God, Perez, why does everyone need to conform? You really are a stereotyper!
I think its important to remember that Merv was raised in a different time, when being gay was greatly shunned. As a man in his 80s, it would be hard to come out because of the prejudices from his generation. Our generation tends to be much more tolerant in terms of people being gay. Besides, not every gay person has to be a public role model for other gay people. Its a matter of choice.
Reading about Merv Griffin being gay doesn't bother me . . . He still seemed to be a cool dude, so who cares? He is from a much different time period than most of us who read Perez, so it couldn't have been that easy for him to come out. Look how long it took Rock Hudson . . . And he only came out because he was sick . . . Look at Jodie Foster, she still won't come out. But who cares.
And he had at least one son . . . I am actually seeing that right now on Access Hollywood. I didn't realize he was on the air so long.
I don't go around talking about my sexuality. Who I have personal relationships is my business. Just because someone is in the entertainment industry, doesn't mean they have to tell everyone about themselves. It was his business. Who cares if he is gay or not? He was a great of the entertainment industry and will be missed. Enough said.
I hate you Nellie Olsen…uh I mean Perez Hilton…I hate you.
leave him the f- alone. so what if he was gay, bi, or straight. he lived life on his own damn terms. and he didn't have to make a public announcement to justify his existence. let's get over it. and at 82, i doubt he was anything sexual. i'm just disgusted by the culture. if we stop this ssh and oh, maybe, just maybe, we can remove the stigma — shouldn't be any. let the man rest in peace and let's judge him for the fullness of his life. he made huge inroads, broke new ground, refused to live by convention and was a nice person. well done. may he rest in peace and may god keep and comfort his family
I'm impressed. Extremely articulate and well-written post. You hidin' these skills?
Personally, I think you're full of shit Perez. It'd be different had you posted this and your post about Jodie Foster wasn't above this, but you have to be honest with yourself. You ALWAYS put celebrities on blast about their sexuality. Something that you shouldn't be doing but you do anyway. Often in an entertaining manner, but to the detriment of the celebrities in question. Just because you wear your sexuality like a big pink boa for everyone to see doesn't mean that others are as comfortable. So when you say that you aren't insinuating that Merv had a responsibility to come out, I think you're lying to try and honor this man's legacy. So find out where your loyalties lie, are you going to out everyone that may or may not be gay in the entertainment industry, or are you going to respect their privacy?
Why is so damn important to you to know everyone's sexual preference? IT'S REALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! If you really are so happy with who you are (which I extremely doubt) you wouldn't be so interested in trying to "out" people. It's a wierd hobbie(Obsession) you have. Why don't you try "outing" pedophiles-gay and straight. THAT would have some value.
For some reason, over a time period of about 2 years - I always found myself crossing paths with Merv Griffin - shopping or out to dinner - I knew his name of course, he recognized me but didn't know my name, but always said "Here comes Sunshine"…somehow the world's a little grayer without him here.
I simply adored the guy. He never failed to entertain me…I knew he was gay…what does that have to do with anything. He was charming, witty , talented, clever and dashing…God Bless him…RIP Merv…
Merv Griffin was old school just like rock Hudson, Sal Mineo and the rest of the Hollywood stars from that era.I'm sure all his close friends knew he was gay and he probably didn't care.Merv was just worried about his public you know all those conservetive republicans. i don't think Ronald Regan knew he was gay but Nancy did Frank Sinatra probably could care less. It was all about public image and the era he came from.
TO FAGS ARE SCUM
Come on,who the hell do you think you are?Mr/wanta be Mrs.Iwatched you on the VEIW &you suck!!
Just give him a break…He is from a much older generation…Don't forget how far gay rights have come…and remember what it was like for him back in the day. AND NEVER FORGET HOW LUCKY U ARE FOR THE ABILITY TO EXPRESS YOURSELF OPENLY…I am sure he suffered very much by not being able to express himself & explore & share his love openly. He was still a wonderful person & really still a "pioneer" simply because he was such a wonderful and well respected man…and over the years, yes everyone figured it out…I still believe he helped pave the way…and what a gentleman…
Luv ya Perez,
Kim
Dear Perez,
If Merv Griffin was gay, so what? But has it occured to you that maybe he wasn't gay at all?
His life was his life. He could have chosen to be a hero to many who are gay/lesbian, but he chose to be a coward. What a shame.
Americans are close minded, bible belt crazed, and arrogant / ignorant folk thats why ! lol.
Merv Griffin changed the face of television forever.
.
He had a hit record that sold over three million copies.
.
He was a singer as well as a talk show host who interviewed
over twenty five thousand people.
.
He wrote the theme music for Wheel Of Fortune and Jeopardy.
How sad that he couldn't be open about who he was. Why are gays discriminated against? So stupid!
I was thinking how thoughtful and well written your post was for once… then clicked on the link and realised that you'd taken the whole thing directly from Ray Richmond's article. I was disappointed, and felt a bit cheated.
From the comments below, it seems like most of your readers think the same thing… that you've actually written something instead of just posting pictures for once.
I get so sick of hearing that if people don't come out as gay they aren't "living their life" or aren't being true to themselves. Maybe he just didn't feel the need to publicize or provide justification for his lifestyle… that is perfectly okay! If he was gay, all the power to him because he didn't have to broadcast it to everyone in order to enjoy his life! If he was straight, all the power to him because he didn't have to broadcast it to enjoy his life! Why is this even being discussed????? We should all just get past the sexuality issue… I'm so tired of it!!
"I’m not at all insinuating that Griffin had a responsibility to come out. That was up to him." These are wise words. Perez, it is not your place to be the arbiter of who comes out of the closet, or whom is to be forced out. You have so much influence, and you constantly choose the sad malicious selfish route. Please go after the powerful people who live their life to hurt gays when they are themselves closeted and hiding (such as a closeted Senator who tries to pass anti-gay legislation). Then you would be righting a wrong. But others who are living their lives should be allowed their own path, without you bulldozing one for them.
You're better than that.
perez was never loved as a child, which is why he hates kids. he constantly looks for inspiration in gay role models or whoever he thinks is one, because he never had a father figure in his life. he's a bitter unloved attention seeking homo. and he's about 12 pounds away from having Gummi Bear Davis tits.
perez was never loved as a child, which is why he hates kids. he constantly looks for inspiration in gay role models or whoever he thinks is one, because he never had a father figure in his life. he's a bitter unloved attention seeking slob. and he's about 12 pounds away from having Gummi Bear Davis tits.
Perez, you are a sick human…you are a disgrace to the human population of gay people. For you to post this pathetic read on your site while an icon lies 6 feet beneath the ground unable to stand in defense is such a sick and disgusting peice of material. HELLO EVERYONE in the world is not gay and HELLO EVERYONE does not hate gays. You have issues, dude with who you are and what your sexuality is. You got something going on that is clearly, very clearly unhealthy. Gay people are lovely humans, but you are full of lard, literally
ray richmond = a** hole. If Mr. Griffin wanted anyone to discuss his sexuality, maybe he would have opened the discussion before he died. Does this guy think he's doing anyone a favor? Merv lived long enogh to tell everone he wanted to tell and it was his own business.
sike… my bad perez. I thought that it was kind of weird that you would've posted that considering your stance on celeb's and their sexuality. But i take back what i said… sorry again…
Perez, Merv Griffin was known for his many accomplishments as well as for being one of the few genuine, kind, generous souls in Hollywood. His sexuality is neither your business nor your readers business. I believe if he wanted to be open role model or not, he had 80+ years to do so. Sometimes U cross the line between light fun and just tacky. A great man dies and U immediately try to insinuate he was shady or less than a descent, honest man. U need to get just an ounce of class!
Perez, you are such a f*#kin hypocrite!!!! U constantly trash these young, messed up girls that have been used and exploited by everyone they know including their parents for being media whores. It is not uncommon to see 2/3rds of your posts on Brittany alone. U R just another wannabe making money of the talents of others. Only what makes U more despicable is that U trash the lives of these pathetic and sad little girls like Brittany, Lindsey, and Nicole and then take glory in raking in the cash doing so. U R extremely immature and irrelevant to profit from talented artists and then contribute to the destruction of these mentally sick, and emotionally desperate young woman. U delude yourself into believing these stars R asking for the negative publicity by being seen in popular hangouts, however as attention starved as these starlets R; they do not enjoy being humiliated, trashed, and destroyed by talentless hacks like yourself. Your blog would be more informative and classier if you profiled young woman that have managed to maintain their dignity as well as remain positive role models for young girls across this country, while being hugely successful. Let's see more Anne Hathaway & less Brittany, more Natalie Portman less Lindsey, more Emma Roberts less Olsen twins. Let the over exposed have time to get their lives in order, and go through their growing pains without a public microscope. Were did U get the impression that the public is only interested in reading about trash. There R some major issues R country is dealing w/ at present. We R at a major crossroads politically, morally, and financially in this country. U have an audience, the spot light is on why don't U use your media influence for the greater good. U must have a sad little life that bullying, and humiliating young celebrities is the sole source of your being.
There is absolutely no reason that a person must choose to "come out". People like yourself, Perez, are self-centered narcissists who think the world revolves around them. Believe it or not, not everyone wants to hear about your sexual preferences. Most of us have far more important things to do in life than worry about this kind of garbage. Leave Merv Griffin and others like him alone.
"I’m not at all insinuating that Griffin had a responsibility to come out. That was up to him." - words of wisdom, perez.
He and Seacrest had a mighty close relationship, how did Ryan get so poplar eh?
I wanna know if his son is gay…he is hot hot…hope Marv passed it on him…pls hook me up Perez
…
Why should anyone have to "announce" their sexual preference?
At this time, it should be all about honoring a dynamic entertainment star and letting his family grieve without these malicious stories.
whether he was gay or not, is really irrevelant to his work.
Who someone sleeps with should be their own personal choice, and if they decide to broadcast it, that again is their personal choice.
If someone is a murderer and gay, should not make anyone gay feel bad, neither should if someone is a moviestar and gay, should that inspire them.
If people became more responsible for their own inspiration and celebrate being independant in who they are, thre would be less sheep flocking for a crumb of inspiration from someone who ultimately is no better than themselves.
to "#46 angie": so you believe that a male god in the sky sent his son who, by the way, is also him (god), to have a virgin birth and die for "our" sins, to later pop out of his tomb and return upstairs? umm-K…. You bible thumpers are insane. I don't believe in the concept, but if there is a hell, you'll be sent there for you stupidity.
But as long as the most high-profile gays, like Perez, remain the flamboyant, over-the-top, stereo-type business people and innovators such as Merv Griffin will remain in the closet for fear of being associated with that element.
It's a pity that all America really sees as representation for the gay community is someone like you, Perez.
A giant, swishy queen with a 'Hello Kitty' purse.
You must be so proud of the ways you push people back into the closet.
Maybe because he left his bedroom tastes…. in the bedroom. I think that, in itself, is pretty classy.
You know, Merv Griffin chose NOT to discuss his sexuality in a public manner. That was his choice. That doesn't mean he was ashamed of being gay. That doesn't mean he let down a host of gays who have come after him. Maybe he rightly felt that his private life was nobody's business. People should STFU.
what a big hypocrite!! do you think ronnie reagan and all of his buddies would even talk to him had he come out? he supported the republican agenda that would have been happy if every gay person got aids and died. he lived a lie.
To the writter:
You started your article with the following questions.."Why should that be so uncomfortable to read? Why is it so difficult to write?"
It is uncomfortable to read because you waitted until Griffin death to writte an article about his homosexuality, not about his great life and his achivements. You knew he never wanted the public to know, but now that he is dead, you stabb him in the back and trash his wish. Yes, it's uncomfortable to know there are people like you.
And why it's so difficult to write? Because you know in your heart you are a coward, a reptile and a disgrace to Griffin, his friends and family. You are the scum of the Universe for not respecting an old man wish to keep his private life PRIVATE.
Shame on you. Burn in hell!
To #165 - COCO: "To the 'writter'" really? My god, learn how to spell beeatch. Don't you read the comments above before you post yours? This is an article written by another person –not Perez. His name is R-a-y R-i-c-h-m-o-n-d. He is a syndicated columnist whose opinions appear in the "Hollywood Reporter." His overall point is that this bigger-than-life person could have done something beneficial for other gay men, but he chose to be a toady for the right-wing. Nuff said?
Yo! Perez! you are the reason.
YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR YOU LITTLE GAY DICK. He is dead & you are outing him in your DREAMS. FUCK YOU. That's sad. Dark ages? Get over your self. You LOVE ASS SEX, got it. Good for you. ALL THIS PC BS KISSING the disgusting ass of Gays. We have freaking Iraq, environment, energy and economy to worry about. FUCK YOUR LITTLE SPECIAL INTEREST. Who cares who's gay, BIG DEAL YOU LIKE IT IN THE ASS. YOU WANT A METAL?
#38 DUMBASS and all you other stupid fucks who can't read and comprehend anything. Perez DID NOT WRITE THE ABOVE. RAY RICHMOND DID!
On that note, Mr. Richmond - Not every gay person who is in the public eye has an obligation to send a fucking message to everyone else about how it is perfectly acceptable to be gay. Did you ever stop to think that maybe these people want to just live their damn lives without having to make some sort of a statement or ride on a fucking float in the gay pride parade? Some people want to just BE. PERIOD.
Geee "Drunk bitch" thanks for the lecture, fuck you cunt.
Okay #170, judging by your unarticulate rant (see comment #168) you are clearly a freakshow with no train of thought. Do another bump loser.
so i guess that ted casablanca's blind item WAS about Ryan Seacrest and Merv Griffen. You did read it a few months ago right?? wow. no wonder he was at the funeral — how ELSE would he have known him?
i'm not even surprised most of the commenters think perez wrote this article,it just confirms what i've known for ages,most of perez comenters are dumb in lack of better words,and who would think perez is capable of such articulate writting?even if i feel the one who wrote it is scum for outing a dead man who by choice chose to live privately,i still have to give it to him,he wrote it well.
You can be gay and not be over the top about it. Damn Perez, not everybody has to see their homosexuality as a "mission from God." I think he did set and example to other gays; how to get along in society and be liked and loved and admired without putting all of his fucking business in the street. It's called class and taste. Most of the taste you fucking bozo's have is all in your mouth. He's dead. Let the man rest in peace. You should have written about Merv when Merv was alive. No guts no glory, bitches!
I still don't understand who decided where and when sexuality became a responsibility? Sexuality is a personal and private matter. No one has to sing from the rooftops that they are gay or straight. Merv lived his life in the manner in which HE thought best and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it. Who cares if he's gay, straight, black, blue, or whatever. Seriously. Who fucking cares? Was he a good human being? Did he give to his fellow humans? Did he make a difference in the world? Of course he did. So why the hell does it matter if he's gay?
this reminds me of the "old days" when blacks who tried to pass as whites would get outed. Now all of that seems so quaint. Who cares? When are we going to define ourselves by more than our sexuality? By more than our race? By more than our gender? By more than our possessions? When will what we stand for count? When will what we contribute matter? Perez, we love you but what do you REALLY contribute?
Sometimes, people cannot even be honest with themselves and fear retribution from unforgiving judgmental people. Look at what we are reading and saying here. It is entertaining (PROPS), but oft hypercrital of public displays of celebs when we have no idea what is going on in their minds or lives.
WHO CARES!!!! The homosexual community needs to recognize that if the whole world was homosexual our population would cease to exist. I dont undertsand why what you do in the beedroom classify you as a new group of people. You think the voice of the gay community is strong and yall can do what ever you want….recognize that is an UNNATURAL way of life….IT is against nature that is why there is so much hesitation for someone to speak about thier wanting to have sex with the same sex. The hesitation is not due to what people think. but again to UN_NATURAL way of life. I am not judging anyone. I know of many gays who are decent human beings but yall need to stop creating a new group of human….RIP (HOPEFULLY) MERV GRIFFIN
you are being a terrible hypocrite here - in the next post about Jodi Foster you call her out for not coming out and yet you say he didn't need to. What is your need to make people feel uncomfortable for their lifestyle. If they are not ready or wanting to come out, so be it. Leave them to live their lives how they wish. You have plenty of other things to cover. while you live your lifestyle and claim that it is ok to be gay and out - you make it into such a bigger issue than is necessary and therefore bringing more negative light to the whole issue.
so what if he is gay. does that make him a criminal?
Why do all gay people insist that others that they DEEM gay need to come out of the closet. Who the hell cares? I don't give a rats ass what anyones sexual preference. I don't tell you what I do in my bedroom or with who–why do I have to know what others do just because they're famous. By putting labels on people, you diminish them. A celebrity should not have to "come out" to help others like him. Let them help themselves. It's sickening.
Maybe if the gay faction would stop throwing their lifestyles into the faces of people who really dont give a shit, they might get further in their cause. For now they diminish themselfs. Perez - IF Merv Griffin was gay, you and people like you are probably why he didn't publically state it. Then again, I'm thinking that the reason he didn't say anything is that it's NOBODY'S DAMM BUSINESS!!
The same reason you reveal this once he's dead.
FOR THE MILLIONTH FUCKING TIME IDIOTS…PEREZ DIDN'T WRITE THIS…A REPORTER NAMED RAY RICHMOND OF THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER DID!!!! READ THE FIRST LINE "This article ran in the Friday edition of the Hollywood Reporter." LEARN TO READ ASSHOLES!! Besides if you are even a fan of this site and have read stuff that Perez has written you should realize that this style of writing sounds NOTHING like anything Perez would say. This is a PROFESSIONAL journalist writing this article. Then again most of you are not intelligent enough to distinguish different styles of writing. LOSERS….WAKE UP!!