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A Song For Lindsay Lohan

| Filed under: Lindsay LohanTori Amos

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This gem is from earlier this summer, but we just discovered it.

During one of her legendary improvs, the Goddess that is Tori Amos sang a song about Lindsay Lohan!!!

Click here to listen to the brazilliance.

Lyrics below!

"Just a little chat
I need to have
When I was 21 do you think I had a bag of cocaine
in my car?

If I did - if I did
You'd never know it because it would have been hidden
I'm not stupid.
But why are so many 21-year old millionaires so stupid?
Stupid and cute.
But stupid - I don't know.

Let's just say
When I was 26 (or seven - or eight)
And I was a billionairess
What would I have done?
Many naughty things.
Many, many, many naughty things.
But I would have had a DRIVER!

'Cuz I'm not stupid, no.
I'm not stupid, no.
Not THAT stupid anyway
'Cuz if I had been naughty
(I like being naughty)

But I haven't been caught so far
and I am almost 44
44
And I've done many, many, many, many, many bad things.

They are hidden inside my *mmm - mmm*
Inside my *mmm - mmm*
So there's no record or no fingerprints on it

'Cuz I'm not stupid
'Cuz I'm not stupid
No, not stupid!"

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269 comments to “A Song For Lindsay Lohan”

More comments: « 1 [2] 3 »

  1. tina says – reply to this


    101

    fanfuckingtabulous!!!!

  2. in4etooo says – reply to this


    102

    Tori is stupid

  3. Mark says – reply to this


    103

    Oh, and Ilona, if you can't afford to get some brains - just get some crack. That way you'll have an excuse for being as stupid as the people you idolize. LOL.

  4. Mark says – reply to this


    104

    Oh, and Ilona, if you can't afford to get some brains, then at least just get some crack so you have an excuse to be as stupid or more than those you idolize! LOL.

  5. PEREZ LOVER says – reply to this


    105

    nice one…. TEAM FIRE CROTCH! heheheheh not only is she dissing linds but also paris. nice…. i see a celebrity death match that is in order. i got $5 on tori. she'll deff win the sing off.

  6. Sarah says – reply to this


    106

    Wow. Lindsay's really made it if Tori's singing about her.

  7. BeckyH says – reply to this


    107

    Tori Amos is SO beautiful! Love her voice!

  8. superprotta says – reply to this


    108

    ahah i was there!!it was at the concert in florence the 30 of may and she was really great! she's a genius

  9. lulu says – reply to this


    109

    she was singing about Paris too you genius. stupid

  10. the princess says – reply to this


    110

    i agree 4 cuz really i do Wonder what the tune is.. cause the lyrics suck.the person who wrote the song is stupide. he or she is just trying to hide it thats why he deny it cuz he/ she is so fucking stupide.and who is this TORI AMOS. never heard about her she must be suck.

  11. wyatt says – reply to this


    111

    i love tori, and her improv's. come on lindsay, listen to your elders!

  12. kimberly says – reply to this


    112

    hey i'll agree that tori fan are tori fans.. i am one and we love our girl.. and if you dont get her you hate her.. i understand that she can be an aquired taste.. thats alright.. but these people dont seem to realize that this was an IMPROVISED SONG AND SIMPLY A JOKE… this woman write some amazing shit.. AND I'M SORRY BUT HOW CAN ANYONE TAKE STABS AT HER IF THIS IS THE ONLY THING THEY'VE EVER READ OF HERS'? .. stupid… so stupid.. so are all the people who make similar comments in lindz and paris a losers, talentless, morons ect??

  13. meghan says – reply to this


    113

    THAT WAS Fing GREAT I LOVE HER

  14. Janet says – reply to this


    114

    "#57 - Clyde, Yes says:

    IN ORDER TO “GET” TORI’S MUSIC, YOU HAVE TO BE INTELLIGENT.

    SO, IF YOU DON’T “GET” HER MUSIC, THE JOKES ON YOU… STUPID."

    …Oh yes, if someone happens to not like the same music you do that must mean they are stupid. I'm sure Tori would be ashamed to have someone so moronic and closed minded as a fan. Go retard!

  15. Jerry says – reply to this


    115

    On target!! LL is a fucking Loser. She is just plain STUPID. Add Paris and Britney to that list also.

  16. TOM CRUISE IS GAY FUCK AND LIES ABOUT IT says – reply to this


    116

    OMG i actually finally heard someting intelligent on here…Lindsay (and shitney and paris ets) really are STUPID…HAHAHAHHAHAAH

  17. Jipc says – reply to this


    117

    omg I

  18. Bri says – reply to this


    118

    She should releese this song i would buy it. Its so awomse, if anyone knows if i can dowload it from somewhere tell me

  19. miss_b says – reply to this


    119

    Tori Amos is a goddess. Love her, love her, love her!! True talent, no hype.

  20. mina says – reply to this


    120

    Tori rocks.

  21. Angie says – reply to this


    121

    Ok… You guys that are talking about the lyrics, you do realize that this is an IMPROV? It was made up in the middle of a concert with no forethought. Its not like she sat down and said "Oh I'll write a song about Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton". Give the woman a break. If you don't like her don't listen. No reason to get hostile. I don't understand why some people listen to rap, but hey you don't see me talking about what talentless, misogynistic, violent, stupid people the rappers are do you? See can't we all just get along? :)

  22. Interesting says – reply to this


    122

    What a douche. She's just trying to sell CDs and using Lindsay to do that. Maybe she'll sell 70,000 now. Please

  23. Sheriff says – reply to this


    123

    That's why she is the best.

  24. deecie. says – reply to this


    124

    tori amos is amazing. duhhhh.

  25. ak says – reply to this


    125

    i love tori but i think she just wants some attention here. its like "hey, stop looking at the cute young hot chicks, i'm a bad ass too!"

  26. bb says – reply to this


    126

    omg! that why nobody knows her!! She never did anything and now that she aold and UNfamous shes trying to get a lil bit of fame with Lindsay. Thank God she is so saint!! STUPID BITCH making fun with the personal problems of Lindsay Lohan.

  27. PeachPie says – reply to this


    127

    Wow…. when you've got the iconic Tori calling you out, you damn well should notice. And she makes a good point. Simple, but good.
    I was probably wilder than Linds and Paris put together at their age, but I wasn't stupid enough to get caught either. And it wasn't the kind of wildness that could endanger anyone (well, other than my own stupid punk ass).
    Actually, I don't think it's stupidity on their part. I think they are careless because they believe they are untouchable in regards to the law or consequences. But the American public, which is overly forgiving, will only tolerate so much. Just a guess here, but I think what pushed us over the edge was that they were repeat offenders. Like Lindsey, Paris and Nick Hogan. Nothing smacks of "I'm untouchable" like going out and doing the same stupid shiz you just got smacked down with.
    I love Tori. Now THAT is talent.

  28. BB is an uncultured fuck says – reply to this


    128

    #129… your grammar alone explains why YOU don't know who Tori Amos is.
    I guess if there's no thumping bass in the background, you wouldn't.

  29. JENNIE says – reply to this


    129

    TORI AMOS REALLY IS "BRAZZILIANT" PEREZ YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO PICK WINNERS

    BUT WHY ARE YOU BFF WITH PARASITE AGAIN? OH YA CUZ YOU USED THE BITCH TO GET FAMOUS……….NOTHING I WOUDNT HAVE DONE! BYE PERETEZEL

  30. ha ha ha says – reply to this


    130

    She's right! Most of us have done bad things but only the stupid ones get caught.

  31. Sara G. says – reply to this


    131

    hey lauren. (#88)

    eat my american shit.

    :)

    (tori for prez!)

  32. Rachel says – reply to this


    132

    Tori is amazing! She is the queen!

  33. Tsh says – reply to this


    133

    Okaay ? Hun er sgu da mærkelig , få et liv man ? :D

  34. ALICIA says – reply to this


    134

    she needs to put this down and release it! i would buy it!!!! more artists need to start using this shit

  35. Ruby says – reply to this


    135

    You know, I was going to make fun of Britney's fucking stupid lyrics - "i'm cold as fire, i'm hot as ice. If you've ever been to heaven I'm twice as nice." But these lyrics are equally as fucking stupid.

    This is why people think Britney fans and Tori Amos fans are idiots. At least Britney fans are all pretty young (and god knows young people are stupid), but there's really no excuse for this.

  36. sarah says – reply to this


    136

    ah tori amos can do no wrong. love her.

  37. Tembi says – reply to this


    137

    Tori Amos sucks…big time. And what a stupid song.

  38. Mia says – reply to this


    138

    I´ve often wondered why Lindsay never had a driver too ^^ LMAO Perfect!

  39. g says – reply to this


    139

    god I love her

  40. Katie says – reply to this


    140

    What a fucking goddess

  41. yama says – reply to this


    141

    Growing up, all of my friends were into Tori Amos and I just couldn't get into her music no matter how hard I tried. Maybe it's because her lyrics are so preachy and overrated :P

  42. Ryan says – reply to this


    142

    Okay, everyone who thinks this is a real song by Tori is a moron. This is an improv that she did off the top of her head at a concert this summer. And she really hit the nail on the head, because you can go and party and do all the crazy shit you want, but at least be responsible enough not to get caught looking like an asshat like Lindsay or Paris or Britney. Which is why she keeps repeating the "I'm not stupid" part.

  43. MJ Carollson says – reply to this


    143

    What a frikkin Goddess :)

  44. Ruby says – reply to this


    144

    Nobody thinks it's a REAL song. It's a very, very poor job at improv. It's an obvious and trite subject, and she really has no business sticking her nose in. It's just to make people pay attention to her. She's just jumping on the idiot bandwagon because all of this has been said so often before. Sure, she "hit the nail on the head," but who hasn't by now? She's about 20 minutes late to this party.

    And a retarded 3rd grader could do a better job at improv.

  45. Kara says – reply to this


    145

    That was so damn funny! I love Tori Amos. She said what we were all thinking.

  46. NYCGirl says – reply to this


    146

    You should check out a song by Anya Marina, Tristan Prettyman and Greg Laswell (Mandy Moore's bf) about Lindsay going to rehab. It's pretty cool, check it!!!!

    :)

  47. Mr. Me says – reply to this


    147

    oh, that was improvised? because i would never have guessed… it's so incredibly well-crafted and not at all completely banal

  48. Lizzy says – reply to this


    148

    This improv. fits in so well with the whole American Doll Posse concept. These girls take up more air time on American TV than a lot of other things that actually matter. Any gurl in T's posse would have something to say about Lindsay because she's a fallen Aphrodite. Santa could teach her a thing or two.

  49. morganika says – reply to this


    149

    omg!! she freakin rawks. that was awesome

  50. marissa says – reply to this


    150

    lol! it's funny and true! Some people just don't make for good criminals…

  51. karter says – reply to this


    151

    That is great

  52. xandy says – reply to this


    152

    i luv paris and lindsay that old fart is jealous!! :]]]

  53. Dominica says – reply to this


    153

    awesome, she should sing it on lindsays birthday

  54. www.GoddessMissy.com says – reply to this


    154

    Too bad Tori Amos sucks now.

    www.GoddessMissy.com

  55. connie says – reply to this


    155

    such a genious, love her

  56. L says – reply to this


    156

    I still love lindsay despite everything. So fuck this loser who think she can write shit about her.

  57. Lynnie says – reply to this


    157

    And this is why I have collages of this ho all over my apartment. Tori IS a fucking goddess. Ha.

  58. whyyyyyy says – reply to this


    158

    why would you write a song about HER why not me i am famous too (not)

  59. cole says – reply to this


    159

    tori is so awesome. this is just a joke song, it's a fun little thing :-)

    haters… lay off it and go get a real life.

  60. Sar says – reply to this


    160

    What a shitty song.

  61. Dan says – reply to this


    161

    Poor Paris!

  62. La Nicks says – reply to this


    162

    I *heart* Tori!

  63. michele says – reply to this


    163

    I was at that show when she performed it and it was really amazing.
    We were totally surprised by this special and funny performance.
    I Ejonied it!

    Michele

  64. prue says – reply to this


    164

    You have to be lacking in intelligence if you don't like Tori's music.

    And why do the "gays" and "fag hags" like her so much? Well, for starters, we're a dignified set of people who don't droll over muck raker music based on style. We look for substance and we would never say something as low class as "straight" people like this kind of music so much.

  65. Lovelovelove says – reply to this


    165

    We love Tori!

  66. lushvalley says – reply to this


    166

    Love it! Tori Amos IS the goddess and I can't wait to see her tour this fall in the states.

  67. carrie says – reply to this


    167

    she might not be stupid but the lyrics definately are.

  68. Heather says – reply to this


    168

    God I love Tori. Her brilliance is astounding… all you bitches that hated it simply don't understand Tori. And that's okay… not everyone get's brilliance.

  69. Brittny says – reply to this


    169

    I think it's nice to see such a well respected female artist sort of stick up for them. People are ragging on them so much and Tori is saying, "hey I'd probably be doing a lot of the same stuff… if I were a billionare in my twenties. However, girls be smart about it." She's sort of groaning for them. Like a big sister… Slapping her forehead and saying, "Why didn't you have a driver?! When you hear the sirens throw caution to the wind and stuff the coke in your *mmm mmm*!!!"

    LOL! I don't know if I agree with everything she's saying but… I like that she's separating the deeds from the girls and sympathizing in a way.

  70. ComeOnNow says – reply to this


    170

    Tori Amos is a rare American intellectual who just so happens to be a prodigious composer/singer. Not hard to see why you twits who worship Lindsey and Paris would get your thongs twisted, though.

  71. noname says – reply to this


    171

    I love Tori Amos but these lyrics are idiotic. For a moment there i thought i was reading Britney Spears' rap.

  72. Daniel says – reply to this


    172

    ilona rose - Shut the fuck up! You don't know what you're talking about!
    Tori is in no fucking way a poser! You retard!
    And in 'Big Wheel' she says "I, I, I am an M I L F don't you forget"
    Not "I'm a milf come fuck me I'm so great" or whatever bullshit you said!

    And for those who are critisizing the lyrics, it just a fucking improv!!
    And for one fucking show!
    It's not like she's recording it and releasing it!

    Some of you here are taking this WAY to seriously!
    And if you think the lyrics are crap they're still way better than the popular mainstream crap out there.

    Tori = God

    =]

  73. scurge says – reply to this


    173

    hey Brooksie, Tori freestyled that off the top of her head. It's not like she labored over that song for hours. It was supposed to be funny. and it was HILARIOUS!!

  74. nattylou says – reply to this


    174

    It's not a song you ding-bats Tori often does improvs between some songs, (for those of you that are retarted improv) means something off the top of your head, spur of the moment! So she didn't write the song about Lilo (ewww) she IMPROVED it before a song! Read people, read!

  75. Bronwyn says – reply to this


    175

    Finally, some intelligence, Perez!! (About time)

    Hey, haz anybody heard "Hollywood Trainwreck" (or any song) by Christine Anderson? She's what I consider an amazing impromptu singer-songwriter and brilliant piano girl, brand new and totally underground right now. Her live CD's been in my player for over a month and I'm not sick of it yet, ha.

    www.christineanderson.net

  76. Zebecraphy says – reply to this


    176

    And just for the retards who posted like #11 and #37 etc. who obviously don't know their arse from their elbow, IMPROVE means A SONG MADE UP ON THE SPOT.

    Stupid fucking bastards.

  77. Brian says – reply to this


    177

    RE: Christine Anderson (#179)

    WTF?! There is actually another true artist in the world that no one's ever heard of before? And to think I'd given up hope. So why has no one heard of her before?

  78. Grady says – reply to this


    178

    Maybe she's not a sell out!

  79. Brian says – reply to this


    179

    I love the "Hollywood Trainwreck" song too but I like "Over Now" even more. Is Christine Anderson her real name?

  80. Brian says – reply to this


    180

    I'm listening to all the song clips on her site and Christine really is great! I love the "Hollywood Trainwreck" song too but I like "Over Now" even more. :)

  81. Lucy says – reply to this


    181

    I've never really listened to her but I was always under the impression that her lyrics were deep. The lyrics here would belie that impression, I'm afraid.

  82. Bronwyn says – reply to this


    182

    I think this posting thing is getting stuck because more than one person is trying to post at the same time. I think that's her real name, I dunno. She's got a MySpace page too. www.myspace.com/christineanderson

  83. James says – reply to this


    183

    FYI -

    IMPROV is short for IMPROVISE, which means to "wing it" or "make it up on the fly."

    IMROVE is making something better.

    ;) Just a little spelling & grammar lesson.

  84. Lucy says – reply to this


    184

    I believe the correct form of the verb is improvised not improved. What some of you mean to say is the song is an improvisation or improv, hence she improvised not improved the material. Improved means to make something better.

  85. James says – reply to this


    185

    Who's Christine Anderson?

  86. PeachPie says – reply to this


    186

    Christine Anderson is actually incredibly talented. Where did you find this girl?

  87. Shannon says – reply to this


    187

    This is the fucking awesome!!! And I don't even like Tori Amos.

  88. timm says – reply to this


    188

    She's a dried up cunt!

  89. Tricia says – reply to this


    189

    Christine Anderson is not totally unheard of. If you're into the Los Angeles music scene at all (or just good creative artists), you would probably have seen or heard of her. Her song 'Over Now' is actually an IMPROV piece or "impromptu composition" as it is rightfully called.

  90. Laura W says – reply to this


    190

    shes pure genius

  91. Frank says – reply to this


    191

    Christine Anderson is like the younger, hotter Tori Amos but with better songs!

  92. SPEEDBLISS says – reply to this


    192

    NEW TORI AMOS FAT SLUT REMIX! at myspace.com/speedbliss

  93. tink says – reply to this


    193

    that was awesome!!! Tori is my girl!!!

  94. Damien says – reply to this


    194

    Tori Amos is a rare with actual talent. She writes all her music, composes, produces, and has been respected as a musical artist for over 15 years. She is famous for her complex, emotional, and mystifying lyrics with intricate piano melodies and truly outstanding live performances. By age five, she had begun composing instrumental pieces on piano and at nine started to add lyrics to her pieces, winning a full scholarship to the Peabody Conservatory of Music at age five, she was the youngest person ever to attend so don't fucking say her piano skills suck!!. Those that call her crazy apparently are too shallow to recognize a creative individual, and those that call her boring (you were like me) have only listened to a small fraction of her compositions and are too stupid to think past the simplest of all lyrics and cliche rhythms, and has not realized a true music artist is not one’s whose goals are to create a top radio hit. On each album she explores a different sounds from soft piano melodies to the loudest guitar drifts and is not influenced by those fuckers that rule the music industry. With her unique vocals and amazing piano skills, she is a true poet, artist, individual, and goddess. If I, a 16 year old, has to preach about true musical talent, then something is clearly wrong with this picture. GO FUCK YOURSELVES. Kisses.

  95. sarah says – reply to this


    195

    What a bitch. first of all there were no paparazzi when you were young and second off maybe no one fucking cares what you do so that's why no one knows.

  96. kath says – reply to this


    196

    esa cancion es un asco,creo que la deverian dejar empaz a lindsay si ya le esta hechando ganas, no hacer estas pendejadas, y ademas no tienes idea de estar metido en esas cosas,ten mas respeto

  97. longjewishlegs says – reply to this


    197

    OH MY GOD!!! LOVVVVVVVE IT!!!!

  98. rachellovesperez says – reply to this


    198

    awesome. thanks for the link perez. you always make my day.

  99. jbyron says – reply to this


    199

    This is my favorite thing that you every put up on your site. Good Job

  100. mae says – reply to this


    200

    i absolutely lovve tori this is awesome hope she plays it in mass in october!

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