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You Can't Make This Shiz Up

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True

What can you say about this?

Thank God it wasn't us!

"Malaysian doctors have reattached a man's nearly severed penis after his first wife, enraged by his comparison of her sex skills with those of his younger second wife, decided to chop it off with a kitchen knife.

The man, a 43-year-old Indonesian worker in southern Johor state, was lying in bed with his 48-year-old wife talking about his newly wed second wife, who is in her 30s, when the incident happened, the New Straits Times newspaper reported.

Despite his shock and pain, the man managed to pull on his trousers and ride his motorcycle to a nearby hospital, where doctors had to put in 11 stitches to reattach the organ.

The man later complained to police, who arrested the woman and plan to charge her with voluntarily causing grievous hurt with a dangerous weapon, which carries the penalty of a three-year jail term and a fine, the newspaper reported."

    Posted: Sep 26, 2007 at 10:35 am / Email this  »
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    150 comments to “You Can't Make This Shiz Up”

    More comments: [1] 2 »

    1. Sophie says – reply to this


      1

      Nice!

    2. bugaboo says – reply to this


      2

      first!

    3. dora,greece says – reply to this


      3

      first!

    4. hottiegrrl says – reply to this


      4

      Ummm…ONLY 11 stitches??? Things are smaller in India

    5. LOLOLOL says – reply to this


      5

      FUCK YOU GAYLORD FOCKER.

    6. RaineyC says – reply to this


      6

      whait a minute wait a minute…he was cheating on his 2nd wife with his 1st wife and compared them?…hahahha wow he has GUTS!BUT STILL CRUCIAL~

    7. Kayci says – reply to this


      7

      Only 11 stitches maybe the younger wife and older wife could get together to make fun of his small endowment

    8. AR says – reply to this


      8

      It really bothers me how, when a man's genetalia is injured it sparks a massive amount of conversation and outrage, while EVERY DAY women are victims of genital mutilation, are hacked up by rapists, and it doesn't even make the news. It's a shocking double standard.

    9. marc says – reply to this


      9

      owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    10. Magdalene says – reply to this


      10

      Glad you liked it :D

    11. Mirvy says – reply to this


      11

      Hoorah! I love stories about cock!

    12. Braziliant Fan! says – reply to this


      12

      What the f**k was he doing naked with his former wife?

      P.I.M.P. yellow trash BIG time!

    13. Daisy says – reply to this


      13

      Perez, I guess you were too young to remember Lorena Bobbit. An enraged woman slicing off a man's shmeckle is nothing new. *YAWN*

    14. Malaysian says – reply to this


      14

      Speaking of that…i never heard about that news…and besides that, he is INDONESIAN and totally NOT MALAYSIAN, he's just foreigner that works in our country, but the incident made our country name's BAD!!

    15. kimmy says – reply to this


      15

      wow perez, riveting story. Keep up the good work

    16. auj says – reply to this


      16

      hahahahahahahahaha!!!!! not a good idea to compare that kind of stuff.

    17. mell says – reply to this


      17

      hahahahahaomg. what a crazy bitch why would she do that?? OMG HAHAHA.

    18. li says – reply to this


      18

      i'm from malaysia and i think that he deserve it. i mean come on. u don't just compare your 1st and 2nd wife sex skills.

    19. Lynn says – reply to this


      19

      lol!! that will teach him never to do something so stupid again
      nextime he will keep it to himself,ha thats if it still work,very funny story

    20. Me says – reply to this


      20

      HAHAHA!!! YEAH! YOU GO GIRL!

    21. Jackie says – reply to this


      21

      He deserved it!

    22. loreno bobbit says – reply to this


      22

      GOOD JOB MY APPRENTICE!

    23. heyyall says – reply to this


      23

      You go girl! Long live Lorena Bobbit!

    24. tamantha says – reply to this


      24

      You go girl, that'll teach him

    25. Lynn says – reply to this


      25

      lol!! that will teach him never to do something so stupid again
      nextime he will keep it to himself,ha thats if it still works,very funny story

    26. Rex says – reply to this


      26

      Umm, does no one remember when this happened in the US to that John Bobbitt guy? He later made some porn films.

      I feel sorry for the ex-wife though. He sounds like a major asshole.

    27. lora says – reply to this


      27

      MMMMMMMMMMMMM……late night snausage snack in bed!!
      To funny….hahahahahahahahahaha!

    28. haha!! says – reply to this


      28

      haha!!! that's nice.

    29. thatz right bitch says – reply to this


      29

      NEARLY SEVERED? THAT KNIFE WASN'T SHARP ENOUGH!!!

    30. Aya says – reply to this


      30

      HOLLA ALL THE WAY FROM MALAYSIA!!! PEREZ I LOVE YOU YOU BIG FAT CUNT!

    31. missy says – reply to this


      31

      FINALLY!!!!

    32. Rob says – reply to this


      32

      HE IS SO LUCKY THAT'S NOT ALL SHE CUT OFF! 11 STITCHES, WHAT A CRY BABY!

    33. michelle says – reply to this


      33

      wow, he must've pissed her off pretty bad!

    34. Jim says – reply to this


      34

      Ouch! Fuckin' Ouch!

    35. malaysiann says – reply to this


      35

      uh he's indonesian FYI it just so happens he's in malaysia. this is bringing shame lol

    36. He got what he deserved!!! says – reply to this


      36

      #8 "AR" , well said and soooo true, where is the outrage on girls being forced to have "female circumcisions" ??

      That being said, the man deserved what he got!!! The wife messed up tho, she should have pulled a Lorena Bobbit and threw it into the ditch….. maybe then it wouldn't have been reattached. rofl!!

    37. OMGosh!!! says – reply to this


      37

      Ouch!
      And
      Ouch! Again

    38. agnes says – reply to this


      38

      he's a muslim, and polygamy is allowed.. i'm a malaysian btw, and i can't believe perez posted this! lmao!

    39. mooshki says – reply to this


      39

      He deserved it. Dumbass.

    40. obefiend says – reply to this


      40

      MALAYSIA BOLEH POTONG KONEK!

    41. wow says – reply to this


      41

      11 stitches? Not much going on down there huh?

    42. VI7V says – reply to this


      42

      MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    43. ramona says – reply to this


      43

      damn!! i'm Malaysian!! what an embarassing way to introduce Malaysia to you readers!! well, i can vouch for this story .. it did appear in our daily and it IS true .. way to go perez .. going "international" .. when u coming down here dude?? *addicted to your site* keep up the good work!!

    44. Notahermit says – reply to this


      44

      Re: hottiegrrl – Malaysia isn't in India. :/

    45. NobodySpecial says – reply to this


      45

      Google "john wayne bobbit", now THAT was a story. Motherfucker went on to make a porno after his dick was re-attached.

    46. Jen says – reply to this


      46

      Men…they just never know when to shut up…

    47. ATLPARTY.NET says – reply to this


      47

      OUCH!!!

    48. chat says – reply to this


      48

      Re: AR –
      FGM is a horrible consequence of this species still being nothing short of apes swinging through trees…

      Apologies to the apes….

    49. Cloudy says – reply to this


      49

      THIS IS REALLY FUNNY PEREZ…HOW DID U FIND THIS STORY..DO U READ MALAYSIAN NEWSPAPER?? U REALLY DO UR HOMEWORK…

    50. dickslicer says – reply to this


      50

      Her only mistake was she should have put the tiny thing into the garbage disposal then claimed temporary insanity!

    51. Winchell's ghost says – reply to this


      51

      Indonesia is not India you American ignorants. This guy was an Indonesian guest worker in Malaysia. And of course, the Malaysians are a bit worried about the reputation of their country. But the news shows that they have good doctors. Malaysia Boleh!

    52. OrangMalaysia says – reply to this


      52

      hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…..damn!!!!Malaysia Boleh!!!

    53. you dumb people says – reply to this


      53

      Not his ex/former wife, stupid! his 1st wife!! That mean he has two wives. That's why he's still sleeping with his 1st. geez…

    54. perezzer says – reply to this


      54

      Re: Malaysian – I'm a Malaysian too, this is just a news. So shut the fuck up!

    55. miami says – reply to this


      55

      Re: Malaysian – What are u bitching about it? I don't think it's an issue. I know Malaysia is a great country, I've been there several times. But u should remember that things happen anywhere, anytime. Perez, keep it up!

    56. dlvi28 says – reply to this


      56

      lol. i would have just told him his best friend is better than him.:-P. jealously is such a bitch

    57. ORANG UTAN DAN JUGA BANDAR says – reply to this


      57

      COME VISIT SABAH !!! We won't chop your junk off!

    58. sugar boobies says – reply to this


      58

      just goes to show that woman lacks commitment. no wonder he was talking smack to her. but…that's what he gets. he he he And at least Lorena Bobbit made it interesting, she threw that little thing out the window while driving down the freeway! HA!!!

    59. Joelle F says – reply to this


      59

      >
      Guy Ritchie got his last bit of masculinity nearly hacked off by Madonna? Poor - Oh, wait. This didn't happen in England. Nevermind.

    60. Mindy says – reply to this


      60

      If my husband was lying in bed with me comparing me to ANOTHER WIFE, I'd chop it ALL THE WAY OFF. Lorena Bobbit had the right idea :)

    61. 9 Inches of Pain says – reply to this


      61

      Re: AR – It's not a double standard at all. It's a man's world baby!!!! Now shut up and go cook me something to eat.

    62. Gigi says – reply to this


      62

      Funny how some jackass getting his winkle chopped off and re-attached gets so much press, yet there are countries where women's genitalia are mutilated everyday yet that gets nothing at all.

    63. Duhhhh says – reply to this


      63

      RaineyC…you're an idoit, in other cultures that is acceptable. Advice for you, go buy yourself some hairdye so people don't think you're a natural blonde…it's already a dead giveaway.

    64. YOU GO GIRL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says – reply to this


      64

      KUDOS FOR BOTH , WAY TO GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    65. dtd says – reply to this


      65

      well the guy has balls to talk shit while fucking the first wife.

    66. Jennifer says – reply to this


      66

      Hey, lady! Next time, flush that shit down the toilet. Fucker had it comin'.

    67. Aimee says – reply to this


      67

      I don't blame her tbh…

    68. Tasha says – reply to this


      68

      Re: Malaysian – ooh please relax…. every country has negative things going on. I bet there are more worst news than this about malaysia.. same as well indonesia… or us.. or uk…. geesh

    69. zombies says – reply to this


      69

      #59 - I laughed out loud.

      #8 : i completely agree. totally. 100%

    70. Jo says – reply to this


      70

      Although the Koran allows more than one wife, it's not recommended.

      This is why. ;)

    71. Steph says – reply to this


      71

      Right on! It's called payback. I'm not a fan of any violence, but I can't help but feel that he deserved it. Don't treat us women like shit, cuz it's gonna come back and…cut yer dick off! Enjoy!

    72. L says – reply to this


      72

      OMG! ok first off why was he lying in bed with his 1st wife if he has a 2nd one? 11 stiches? he has to be rich other wise how do u get married twice with such a little willie1

    73. Kelsey says – reply to this


      73

      If his 2nd wife was sooo great in bed…why was in bed with the first wife?! Sounds like the first wife is better in bed…she should just quit fucking him…that would been punishment enough! Still funny, though!

    74. karina says – reply to this


      74

      haha im malaysian..weird seeing this story on perez..but seriously..this is whack!

    75. ra says – reply to this


      75

      Re: AR –

      I definitely agree with you.

    76. ruth says – reply to this


      76

      'and ride his motorbike'…hehe…

    77. jaja says – reply to this


      77

      malaysian chicks rock!

    78. Bobby says – reply to this


      78

      So…what I want to know…why was he lying in bed with his 1st wife to begin with? hmmmmmmmm???? haha….

    79. 9 Inches of Pain says – reply to this


      79

      Re: Gigi – It’s not a double standard at all. It’s a man’s world baby!!!! Now shut up and go cook me something to eat.

    80. georgie says – reply to this


      80

      what did the dumb idiot expect? if my husband compared me unfavourably with his other younger wife, he could expect some evil too…

    81. Vivian says – reply to this


      81

      Re: RaineyC – He has more than one wife dear….

    82. olives says – reply to this


      82

      Only 11 stitches? That's a shlort, not a shlong!!!

    83. such says – reply to this


      83

      same happened in the 80's with lorena bobbit and hubby
      in the States and happens dayly in macho-oppressive countries
      AIN'T GOSSIP und AIN'T NEW!

    84. smarf says – reply to this


      84

      I bet the second wife would have cut it off completely

    85. seriously psycho says – reply to this


      85

      stupid-ass fuckface…she should've chopped his balls off & shoved 'em down his throat. i bet he wouldn't open his FAT mouth anymore. *sigh*…why are men SO fucking retarded??

    86. Nay says – reply to this


      86

      HAHAHAHA, the scumbag deserved it. This guy was banging two women at the same time. Piece of shit womanizer.

    87. Mel says – reply to this


      87

      Dick deserved it (metaphorically speaking).
      Monogomy is the way to go.

    88. devante says – reply to this


      88

      When will Islam evolve into the year 2007?? If he's allowed to have more than one wife, she should be able to have more than one husband….religion makes this world so sad…

    89. Kat says – reply to this


      89

      He should have kept his mouth shut! Did she suck that bad… or not suck at all perhaps?

    90. maddie says – reply to this


      90

      Ouche

    91. dino says – reply to this


      91

      i heard u wanna like his peepees perez all bloody an detached

    92. SummerSunshine says – reply to this


      92

      11 stitches?! Thats all?! I cant even begint to imagine how small it must have been. I recieved 15 stitches in my forehead and the cut was less than an inch long! How much can 11 stitches really cover??!!

    93. SummerSunshine says – reply to this


      93

      11 stitches?! Thats all?! I cant even begint to imagine how small it must have been. I recieved 15 stitches in my forehead and the cut was less than an inch long! How much can 11 stitches really cover??!!

    94. MaraWi says – reply to this


      94

      I wonder if he will still be able to get it up after that

    95. 123 says – reply to this


      95

      Im sure wife #1 wouldn't have cared if she was the better lay. Then comparing them would've been fine…

    96. Dawn says – reply to this


      96

      Can we say Lorena Bobbitt? Wasn't she also of a Middle Eastern decent? You's best watch those bitches.. They aint skered.

    97. MeFromMalaysia says – reply to this


      97

      Shut the fuck up with Malaysia Boleh!!! Seriously… shut the fuck up already. Hopeless bumis!

    98. Barbie says – reply to this


      98

      well if u ask me, thats what he gets…

    99. raeberac says – reply to this


      99

      haha i live in malaysia. this is funney.
      except that its not focused on in the news here, with all the stuff going on about the 8 year old girl that was killed and raped. :(

    100. Carlee says – reply to this


      100

      lmao, props to the girllll! totally deserved it ;)

    More comments: [1] 2 »