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"Eat it, Lick it, Snort it, Fuck it!"

| Filed under: Baby BlabberDrugsCelebrity FeudsBritney SpearsLegal MattersKevin Federline

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The blackout is over!

We have seen the light and realized something very important: Britney Spears makes life better.

This past week, we didn't mention the Britster a single time. Not once. It was painful. We didn't think we could do it. But we did. And we're never doing it again!

Life without Britney is sad and grey. She brings trashtastic technicolor brilliance to our normal by comparison life.

The frequent and habitual drug user was in rare form on Friday.

Spears showed up to court for her scheduled custody hearing and it was a DISASTER.

She had "frequent bathroom trips." Three to be exact.

She even managed to change her hair and sunglasses during a break. Such a diva. Rocking a new look during court!

Though reporters were not allowed inside the courtroom, things must not have gone well for Brit Brit. She was seen crying and speeding away from the courthouse, almost hitting a bus.

The court-appointed parenting coach submitted a report to the judge which basically spelled it out for him: U-N-F-I-T-N-E-Y. Spears ignored her kids. Ignored the parenting coach. Ignored all logic and reason.

The highlight of the day, easily, had to be when asked by reporters how she was doing, Britney responded by saying, "Eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!"

Yes, she really said SNORT it. In front of reporters from Extra and Us Weekly.

The judge hasn't made his ruling yet. He heard all the evidence and said we can snort expect a decision on Monday or Tuesday.

Brit Brit and her lawyer were asking for 50/50 joint custody.

Ain't no way THAT'S gonna happen! It sure as hell better not!

Don't U agree?????

[Image via WENN.]

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458 comments to “"Eat it, Lick it, Snort it, Fuck it!"”

More comments: [1] 2 3 4 5 »

  1. brooke says – reply to this


    1

    1st

  2. meganishaute says – reply to this


    2

    I LOVE IT! LONG LIVE UNFITNEY!

  3. Fukyou says – reply to this


    3

    last

  4. jennyfromtheblock says – reply to this


    4

    shove it brit brit you suck

  5. Henry Krinkle says – reply to this


    5

    YES!!!
    Britney is such a dirty nasty whore– look at the kind of white trash on "COPS" that are allowed to KEEP their kids. She must be such a fucking freak-show crack-head mess to be able to get the LA judges to take her kids away. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT SHE BECOMES IN 10 YEARS. Her stupid brats are allready an E! true Hollywood Story. IT is all her FAULT.

  6. hi says – reply to this


    6

    hi

  7. Loretta says – reply to this


    7

    Perez…ur officially a freaking hater!

  8. FFDSFDS says – reply to this


    8

    HAAAAAAAA

  9. Lety says – reply to this


    9

    Snort and FUCK it? Hmmm

  10. miss kat says – reply to this


    10

    CRAZY BITCH!

  11. momo says – reply to this


    11

    britbrit rulz don't care what ya'll say she my baybe fo life.

  12. George Bush says – reply to this


    12

    Haha. She's cuntry. Remember? Are custody battles really like this outside of HOllywood?

  13. BFo says – reply to this


    13

    I was just about to email you and congratulate you for no Brit mentions today. Oh well, it is better with her, isn't it?

  14. anna says – reply to this


    14

    first! nice one brit!

  15. anf says – reply to this


    15

    first

  16. First says – reply to this


    16

    First!

  17. 1213 says – reply to this


    17

    1st

  18. k says – reply to this


    18

    1st no

  19. Danie says – reply to this


    19

    Sick

  20. Snort it...again and again! says – reply to this


    20

    hmmm….maybe she will next try to snort her kids…mmmm Jayden james looks mighty tasty….

  21. Chacha says – reply to this


    21

    What a fucking idiot!
    When is she going to overdose???

  22. f says – reply to this


    22

    hahah crazy
    first btw

  23. Leslie says – reply to this


    23

    first

  24. alissa says – reply to this


    24

    first..?
    SHES A RETARD

  25. jeanette says – reply to this


    25

    Newbie first!

  26. Leya says – reply to this


    26

    Yeaah i'm the first one its now in holland 3:10 i cant sleep:(
    But still i love britney!! oke she is now a little crazy..
    End her lipss everybody says that she did botox but i cant see that ??

    xx leyla from Holland!!

    Ps. I love you Perez you make my day better whit you gossips!

  27. FIRST says – reply to this


    27

    SHE IS SHOWING HER TRUE COLORS. THE GIRL IS CRAZY AND THOSE PRECIOUS BABY BOYS NEED LOVE. SHE ONLY HAS LOVE FOR HERSELF. I PRAY THAT THE JUDGE SEES HER CRAZINESS AND FINDS A WAY TO SAVE THEM.

  28. i says – reply to this


    28

    wow, what a mess.

  29. TESSA says – reply to this


    29

    NEVER AGAAAAIN!

  30. TESSA says – reply to this


    30

    NEVER AGAAAAIN!

  31. TESSA says – reply to this


    31

    NEVER AGAAAAIN!

  32. TESSA says – reply to this


    32

    NEVER AGAAAAIN!

  33. TESSA says – reply to this


    33

    NEVER AGAAAAIN!

  34. TESSA says – reply to this


    34

    NEVER AGAAAAIN!

  35. maria says – reply to this


    35

    "Trashtastic" — love it!!!! Just can't figure out how someone with such an econonic advantage can screw up her life so royally. Britney's better than watching a freakin' soap opera!

  36. Randi says – reply to this


    36

    Unfortunately she never learned how to be a functional human being.

  37. matt says – reply to this


    37

    omg, first?

  38. LAST says – reply to this


    38

    laster as awayusss

  39. rose says – reply to this


    39

    is a free moustache standard with a lip job?

  40. jock76la says – reply to this


    40

    Damn that is the best picture I've seen of her in a loooong time. Fitney or Unfitney, I'd definitely bang her!

  41. TESSA says – reply to this


    41

    NEVER AGAAAIN!

  42. Kaiser says – reply to this


    42

    15th Bithches

  43. naynay says – reply to this


    43

    Oh Britney, you so crazy. We missed you!

  44. Ugh! says – reply to this


    44

    Fuck I hate this whore. Would she die already!????

  45. Blue Angel says – reply to this


    45

    Her single is still selling well.

    Check out
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  46. kayla says – reply to this


    46

    she's an idiot!

  47. j says – reply to this


    47

    first!

  48. loveshairywomen says – reply to this


    48

    why does she have a mustache?

  49. michelle says – reply to this


    49

    3rd?

  50. ? says – reply to this


    50

    ugh

  51. Third! says – reply to this


    51

    Third, bitches!!

  52. Nicole says – reply to this


    52

    Come on Britney fans, lets hear the excuses you are making for her now!!! I want to hear from all 5 of you.

  53. lizz says – reply to this


    53

    congrats u did it.. but guess what?

    she's still predictable and still ever so fucking lame..

    first

  54. lol says – reply to this


    54

    Oh god, Perez..
    Most of that was made up, and you would know that if you stopped relying on whatever source you get your info from.
    You're addicted to Britney and you love her, admit it bitch.

  55. Luella says – reply to this


    55

    Perez,
    It's sorta sickening to see you keep adding these "what do U think?, don't U agree?" things to your post to get more comments = $ in ads. You really don't care what we think, you pumpkin fruit. So knock it off, you're so fucking transparent.

  56. jen says – reply to this


    56

    Poor Britney. It's hard not to feel better about my life when I read about hers…
    I feel really bad for those babies though.
    I hope wherever or whoever they go to they are taken care of properly.

  57. meltz911 says – reply to this


    57

    CLASS!
    Die BRITNEY!!!

  58. paris says – reply to this


    58

    FIRST BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  59. JOSH says – reply to this


    59

    FUCK YOU PEREZ!!! US AND EXTRA ARE SHIT JUST LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

    *LOVE YOU BRITNEY*

  60. katie says – reply to this


    60

    Girlfriend needs a long vacation in a very quiet room!!

  61. oatmeal says – reply to this


    61

    where i use to not like britney, now i just feel sorry for her. where are her friends and family to help her?

  62. Klaus / Germany says – reply to this


    62

    OMG, Elfriede… I AM THIRD!!!
    It's not Zaquisha but at least our Queen B. …. You rock the world for us bitch! Party like a Lohan and just bang the Billboards…oh BTW: STFU Perez, you better go on a diet yourself before making jokes about Britters!!!…But I kinda am addicted to your shiz…love Y'all, and most of all my Elfriede….yourz Klaus!!!

  63. kyle says – reply to this


    63

    your a fucking idiot perez

  64. Mike says – reply to this


    64

    Its about time your blackout is over….and you are absolutely correct…her insane irrationality makes one wonder. Please do NOT - for ONE minute repent or soften on your accurate analysis of her (this comes from a person who at first did not care either way about unfitney). When these Britard disciples try to bash you or become angry with your harsh criticism of her, I just keep asking myself…how can ANYONE defend her actions?!?!? I mean this woman has children in her care!!! I mean her own father (the only SANE one of the family) wants her committed and these britards keep defending her? Keep up the great work Perez!!!!

  65. ladypink says – reply to this


    65

    Oh thank you Perez I was jonesing bad bad for some Brit Brit news! WHY does she take three trips to the bathroom? What is the deal?

  66. Travis says – reply to this


    66

    I think she should get 50/50

  67. Ashley says – reply to this


    67

    First? Is that trainwreck/enabler/faux-cousin ali with her? what a dumb cunt this bitch needs to have those poor little boys taken away from her FOREVER!!

  68. amanda says – reply to this


    68

    ahahahahah what a weird thing to say

  69. Donna says – reply to this


    69

    nice moustche brit brit. what a mess.

  70. hi says – reply to this


    70

    What a terrible excuse of a mother. And her mom is writing a book? How about Britney read it? She doesn't know how to act like a mother.

  71. kattie says – reply to this


    71

    hahahah..shes lameeee

  72. Christine says – reply to this


    72

    britney you need help badly… I feel so sorry for you not being able to play with your kiddies!

  73. Ashleigh says – reply to this


    73

    Third!

  74. Marianne Chitter Chatter says – reply to this


    74

    Britney should stop wasting time at court and focus on things that make her happy. So being a Mother wasn't her deal. She needs to recognize that and just move on. If she doesn't make some hits soon, she'll be replaced by the many younger girls looking to take her place.

  75. Anon says – reply to this


    75

    Perez. If Britney really said and did the things you've described, it is symptoms of serious mental illness. I am not joking. Her behavior at court and her comments "eat it, etc…." were not just inappropriate they were signals of severe mental disorder and separation from reality. She needs to be locked up. Something is broken in her brain. It might be caused by drugs or a result of habitual drug use, or it might be a chemical imbalance and drugs have made it worse, but it is abnormal. That judge should order her to be mentally tested and evaluated…locked up for 90 days and find out what is wrong. What she is doing is sick, Perez, and I am not using that expression lightly.

  76. Jen says – reply to this


    76

    U N F I T N E Y.

    Thank goodness Child Protective Services is helping.

    Just sad the # of good parents who lose their kids because they don't have money. Then Britney who could provide anything for her kids loses hers because she's a selfish, spoiled child.

  77. Lara says – reply to this


    77

    i will off her

  78. CRH says – reply to this


    78

    God Perez you are so right on! Twitney is such a train wreck! She doesn't care about anyone but herself. She doesn't deserve to be part of those kids lives.

  79. NICE FACIAL HAIR says – reply to this


    79

    GET THAT TOP LIP WAXED WOMAN! AND GET THE LADY SAT BEHIND YOU SOME SPOT CREAM FOR GOD'S SAKE AND STOP GIVING ME REASONS TO POST COMMENTS LIKE THIS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  80. JOSH says – reply to this


    80

    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    PEREZ LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  81. yepyep says – reply to this


    81

    I hope for the kids sake, that she's on drugs. Insanity is hereditary. This girl needs to be locked away for the good of the children.

  82. katie j says – reply to this


    82

    Stupidney Unfitney is at it again…..looking and acting WHOREible as usual….with giant plastic lips.
    Oh how they fall!

  83. not first. or second. or third. says – reply to this


    83

    if britney gets ANY custody of those children then the jury is on more drugs than she is.

  84. Perez just back off for a while. says – reply to this


    84

    Someone who is number 28 screaming "FIRST" when they are 28th, had the nerve to call Brit retarded.HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA..and BTW i dont think a fat gay man should be telling anyone they are a bad parent. I think he was a very lonely sad child, and now hes a lonely sad adult. Brit's kids arent any of your peoples fucking business. Get a life you stupid cunts.

  85. alllih says – reply to this


    85

    no way should she get any custody!
    i love her stil though!!

  86. Cintia says – reply to this


    86

    SEXY MOUSTACHE! AHAHHAAH

  87. Duey says – reply to this


    87

    dayum
    this girl is crazy

  88. KARLA says – reply to this


    88

    SHE IS DEFINATELY CRAZY. IF THE JUDGE IS WISE, HE CAN'T LET THOSE POOR KIDS HAVE BRITNEY AS A CARETAKER! AND JUST HOW DOES SHE NOT GET ANGRY OR HAVE ANY REACTION TO THE PAPPZ, I WOULD BE !!!! POOR BRITNEY POOR KIDS, POOR PARENTS (OF BRITNEY) TO SEE THIS HAPPEN TO YOUR ONCE SUCCESSFUL AND TALENTED DAUGTHER. UGH.

  89. Cin Cin says – reply to this


    89

    No, actually I don't agree. Brit should have her kids back asap.

  90. JT says – reply to this


    90

    Perez, you are such a fucking dumbass. Quit hating on her all the time, she didn't even do anything wrong. Since when is 3 bathroom breaks considered frequent? Another thing, how do you know she said those things? It's not even caught on tape, it must be fake and one of your little lame ass stories you cooked up! Those kids deserve to be with her instead of that asshole K-Fed…he's the unfit parent!!!

  91. Steph Loves John Mayer says – reply to this


    91

    She's such trash…. ughh.

  92. jacqueline says – reply to this


    92

    Re: Henry Krinkle – HEY LOOK ITS THE 14 YEAR OLD PORN STAR WITH HUNDREDS OF SEX TAPES.!!! WOW CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH??

  93. Giggles says – reply to this


    93

    She brings trailer trash to a new low.

  94. She should be spayed says – reply to this


    94

    I agree. NO 50/50 for the crazy lady. Period.

  95. unfitney says – reply to this


    95

    Thanks Perez, for coming back to the dark side. A boring week without being reminded that however fucked up we are, this girl seems to have it all, but is soooo much worse off than we are. Its like a reality check for us normal people

  96. SHITTY BEEF says – reply to this


    96

    ******ATTENTION*****

    RYAN HAS SAND IN HIS VAGINA AND GEN SHALIT CUMS IN HIS ASS, THEN HE FARTS IT OUT ONTO BOB SAGETS FACE

    DICK BALLS PUSSY FLAPS FOR ALL

  97. Mandi says – reply to this


    97

    Is that a lady moustache?????

  98. zeke says – reply to this


    98

    I LOVE BRITNEY

  99. lindz says – reply to this


    99

    why would she change her clothes in court? Who does that shit? and why would she say something like eat it, snort it…..what is wrong with her? she needs to be sent to boot camp. she is acting like a brat. she needs a swift kick in that gigglely belly. i can't wait to see her in like two years on vh1 celebrity fit club.

  100. tllda.blogg.se says – reply to this


    100

    I love britney, but most of all: I LOVE YOU, and your blog! keep on going. I visit you site at least 11 times at one day! Love from sweden ;) hehe

More comments: [1] 2 3 4 5 »