When Celebrities Blog
John Mayer just wrote a very poignant entry on his official blog about the term "douchebag."
It goes a little something like this….
"Death to Douchebag
1 of a 129-part series on the year that was 2007,
By John Mayer
"Douchebag. "
"What a douchebag. "
It feels good to say, "douchebag. " It's got two different plosive sounds, the "D" and "B", and nicely wedged between is a wonderful "sh" sound (technically known as a voiceless palato-alveolar sibilant, at the risk of coming off douchey ) that, when preceded with "oooooh", give your lips the sensation of sliding on a hardwood floor in a pair of woolen socks.
And "douchebag " was on the vinegary tips of everyone's tongues this year. Trouble is, I'm not really clear on what it means, and I don't know that anyone does. I know that I get called one. Pete Wentz from Fallout Boy, by measure of a google search, is a douchebag 11,100 times over, or the number of results that the search engine says exist. Zach Braff, who himself wrote one of the better films I've seen in the last decade is also frequently 'bagged, as is some guy named Brody Jenner. In fact, if you want to go big, so is Michael Stipe, Bono ("supreme douchebag"), Thom Yorke, Will Smith and Brad Pitt.
Are you as confused as I am as to what the common denominator of douchiness is? Is it someone that comes off obnoxious? Self aggrandizing? Ignorant? Or is it just someone who exists out of another person's comfort zone? And doesn't that account for almost everyone in the world, celebrity or otherwise? Don't most people, given the fact that they're NOT US lie somewhere outside our comfort zone? Ohhhhh…OR…is being a douchebag actually all about having a bigger smile than someone else deems you deserve to in life? I think I'm onto something here. Stick with me.
In the case of Pete Wentz, whom I can comment on personally, I think the guy's got the job description of musician down pretty damn well. True, it's not your dad's rock star template, but he'd be inauthentic if he tried to fit inside it. Pete Wentz has a truckload of ideas. Big, bold, colorful ideas. They're ideas that have never once had their edges sanded down, and for that reason some people might find him or his band too much to swallow. You know who else had that going for them in their day? Frank Zappa. And David Bowie. And Peter Gabriel. And Elton John. And the Doors. Pretty much every rock band from A-Z existed because of their ignoring conventional boundaries. Pete's going to keep pretending. Because that's all art really is. You puff up your sense of pretend as big as you can and then try and live up to it. (Maybe that's what people think being a douchebag is?)
I personally don't mind being called a douchebag. I've met my fair share of bloggers, and I'm much, much taller than them. It's also because I need there to be some push on the castle walls, so to speak. I'm not happy when people agree. (Don't make me start listing the names of seminal artists that weren't either.) I think it's easier to call "douchebag " than to confront the possibility that:
THERE ARE OTHER PERSONALITIES IN THIS WORLD THAT ARE NOT INHERENTLY SYMPATHETIC TO OUR OWN.
Maybe I should take this opportunity to define douchebag once and for all; I think if enjoying your life as you choose happens to spill over into treating others without respect, then you're a total, world-class douchebag.
But then wouldn't that also serve as a fitting description of the boy who cried "douche"?
Maybe it's just really fun to say."
With Child?
Re: pooltop – you have to laugh. perez clearly has a thing for mr mayer. but he's awesome.
Re: aj – O.K. Obviously you have no life whatsoever. You have posted your rant on here at least 10 times.You must be in love with me.
Re: matt – YOU must care VERY MUCH…you've posted over 10 time here.
Re: matt – You're pretty condescending aren't you? I respect him for more than "putting together a few eloquent sentences" you know, like all the Grammys he's won, his sold out year long world tours, the respect and admiration of our musical legends (all have worked with him by the way) Eric Clapton (ever heard of him?) BB King, Buddy Guy, Dave Matthews to name just a few. Then their is Alicia Keys, Kanye West to show his versatility. YOU "MATT" ARE IN THE MINORITY OF OPINION ALONG WITH THE 3-4 OTHER HATERS ON HERE THAT REPEAT POST UNDER DIFFERENT NAMES (their repeat spelling errors give them away)
Re: Melissa – Hi there AJ…you can't respond to your own post so you had to go this route. How lonely and insecure you must be to confirm your own opinion to yourself.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAH!
Snack on that.
Someone is guilty of his own accusation. John Mayer is definitely a douche bag.
What ever lie gets you through the night Mayer.
Re: Lokan –
I'm only being as pedantic as this guy is. That's the point idiot; this guy is pedantic, yet he's not properly punctuating; even for an internet posting. So why don't you drop to your knees on his blog and maybe he'll notice you.
ugh what a douche bag…. him and you perez
One would wonder what kind of pussy he thinks he is getting. I gues Minka is out of the picture.
While John Mayer can be a little cocky at times, he's pretty on-point. And yes Perez, this blog was totally about you! I still love you though. And John Mayer. I just love John Mayer a little more…
john mayer may not be a douchebag, particularly since his definition of douchebag involves having one's pursuit of happiness infringe upon the respect granted, mistakenly, to all. I say the man that watches his own father's fatherrapin' and respectfully opens the screendoor for the rapist due to expressible qualms with stepping on his toes of respect …is a world class douchebag….and a good porter. John, you may not be a douchebag; but, for the attempt to be intellectual, cerebral and sensitive in an essay on "douchebag" which has nothing to do with the wonderous, ambiguous and awesome application of the term……..you, Mr. Mayer, are…at least…a quif or a douche fart. you douchefartin' donkey. what a douchebag. didn't this clown poke jessica simpson…….try the moon pie john and you'll appreciate a good douchebag, you douchefart.
WHAT. A. MAJOR. DOUCHE BAG!!!! John Mayer you suck. DO NOT even put your name, Pete Wentz's name or any of the other celebutards you associate yourself with, in the same sentence as such icons as Frank Zappa and Eric Clapton. Pete Wentz (and most certainly you) don't even approach the wit, expression and boundary pushing badassness of these fine legends.
To even intimate that you are 'pushing on the castle walls' is absurd. You're a trite, obnoxious jackass who has no original thoughts, so quit with the blogging - only idiots would actually care what you had to say - people duller than you, which is to say other even DULLER Americans. Congratulations on appealing to the LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR, TOOL!!!
Despite how pleased you are with your own mental wank offs, you really should be in the Douchebag hall of fame - as is proven in your blog entries.
NO STUPID, it's not because you're tall that people think this, NO STUPID it's not because you 'smile bigger' than others. IT IS BECAUSE you are a self-satisfied, egotistical, arrogant asshole with your head planted firmly up your ASS - Finally, you are one of the biggest poseurs I've ever had the displeasure to encounter. Please get a clue D-bag!!
WHAT. A. MAJOR. DOUCHE BAG!!!! John Mayer you suck. DO NOT even put your name, Pete Wentz's name or any of the other celebutards you associate yourself with, in the same sentence as such icons as Frank Zappa and Eric Clapton. Pete Wentz (and most certainly you) don't even approach the wit, expression and boundary pushing badassness of these fine legends.
To even intimate that you are 'pushing on the castle walls' is absurd. You're a trite, obnoxious jackass who has no original thoughts, so quit with the blogging - only idiots would actually care what you had to say - people duller than you, which is to say other even DULLER Americans. Congratulations on appealing to the LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR, TOOL!!!
Despite how pleased you are with your own mental wank offs, you really should be in the Douchebag hall of fame - as is proven in your blog entries.
NO STUPID, it's not because you're tall that people think this, NO STUPID it's not because you 'smile bigger' than others. IT IS BECAUSE you are a self-satisfied, egotistical, arrogant asshole with your head planted firmly up your ASS - Finally, you are one of the biggest poseurs I've ever had the displeasure to encounter. Please get a clue D-bag!!!
WHAT. A. MAJOR. DOUCHE BAG!!!! John Mayer you suck. DO NOT even put your name, Pete Wentz's name or any of the other celebutards you associate yourself with, in the same sentence as such icons as Frank Zappa and Eric Clapton. Pete Wentz (and most certainly you) don't even approach the wit, expression and boundary pushing badassness of these fine legends.
To even intimate that you are 'pushing on the castle walls' is absurd. You're a trite, obnoxious jackass who has no original thoughts, so quit with the blogging - only idiots would actually care what you had to say - people duller than you, which is to say other even DULLER Americans. Congratulations on appealing to the LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR, TOOL!!!
Despite how pleased you are with your own mental wank offs, you really should be in the Douchebag hall of fame - as is proven in your blog entries.
NO STUPID, it's not because you're tall that people think this, NO STUPID it's not because you 'smile bigger' than others. IT IS BECAUSE you are a self-satisfied, egotistical, arrogant asshole with your head planted firmly up your ASS - Finally, you are one of the biggest poseurs I've ever had the displeasure to encounter. Please get a clue D-bag!!!!
wow, john is an idiot. guy needs to wake up, seriously.
btw, i agree with harvard girl, mayer just an arrogant son of a bitch, who thinks that acting cavalier with a word he's not comfortable with is what makes him better than other people. no john, you are not better than anybody, get that through your head. you write romantic songs that only inspire dumb blondes to sleep with you. i don't think the songs are dumb, nor any good, just romantic. and i can't help but add this one: my god you've got a really big head, literally. you're head is humongous whenever i see pictures of you with other people. you need to go bald or something because it's really just huge!
See that is why you're a douchebag Johnny boy…mainly because you compares fall out twat to David Bowie, Frank Zappa, Elton John (who while being a douche, is actually talented - or was at least in his GoodBye Yellow Brick Road days..) and The Doors..yeah Pete Schmuck and David Bowie are on the same echelon of talent…no real musician in their right mind would ever say that unless you are so far gone in Hollywood you can't see the shit for the tree's..go back to what you do best…playing watered down mainstream MOR blues and rock and dating moronic "flavour of the month" bimbo's…he's not eloquent..he's just trying to be clever using big words LOL any douche with wikipedia and an online thesaurus can do that…hahahah "Pete and his band to much too swallow"..that is the funniest thing I have heard all week! Come on, they're not flippin Gogol Bordello or Dillinger Escape Plan for douche's sake..are you seriously trying to act like Fall Out Boy is some kind of postmodern avant garde band no one can "get their head around"? Whats next? Comparing yourself to Bob Dylan? I think he's more an Anema then a douche as calling him douche makes douche's look bad…
Re: jenna – I bet you do agree with "Harvard gal" since your both one and the same. Sheesh.. get a life.
Re: mouche douche – How many times are you going to repeat post, you douchebag? All the comments from #418-424 are from you. How sad and insecure you must be to have to reply and repost to confirm your own damned opinion. I'm sure John Mayer reads this and is laughing his ass off at how pathetic you are.
Gentlemen: Do I detect jealousy in your comments? LMAO!
Open letter to John:
We love you and your music. We know you're a really smart guy with lots of positive ideas and thoughts about the world. But, PLEASE, give your fans some credit for also being intelligent. At your last concert at Philips there many more music-appreciating 30 and 40-somethings there than 16-year-old girls. You don't "sing down" to us; don't "talk down" to us in your blog.
Also, please stop pandering to the paparazzi. It makes you look like an a-hole; like you care too much - or at all - about them. And THAT is definitely "douche".
Keep it real and your fans will always be there for you. Those of us who "get" you are lucky indeed. XO
I'm not sure why, but I really enjoyed reading this. John Mayer seems like a funny, smart, easy-going kind of guy. I think we'd make a great couple.
Re: Big JM Fan in the ATL – Ummm, pretty arrogant aren't you? Trying to tell John who his fan base is and how to stay on top. DID HE CONSULT YOU ON HOW TO WIN GRAMMY AFTER GRAMMY AND MAKE MILLIONS OF $, SELL MILLIONS OF CD's? Who the hell do you think you are? YOU'RE a DOUCHEBAG.
Re: Pook – Testy, aren't we? No, I'm actually just one of those 'arrogant' 'douchebags' who's bought one of every one of those millions of CDs he's sold, and have followed him for several years now, but have been a bit disappointed to see him kissing media/paparazzi a– all the time of late. But you know, WTF, take a Valium b/c you need to chill a bit. Oh, and have a happy new year.
Re: Deborah – Sigh. Obviously, you haven't a clue my dear… you need to stop smoking crack, as it has clearly made you paranoid.
Dear Douchebag,
You are such a fucking bore. You're way too big for your britches and a snoozefest, which makes you, um, well, a DOUCHEBAG!
Truth hurts Douchebag.
Re: Big JM Fan In The ATL – Fuck you, you condescending asswipe. Just because you bought some of his music doesn't mean you get a say in his life. Why don't YOU read your original post (under this name, not the four others you're using) and see who's on crack and who needs the chill pill. Arrogant douchebag.
Re: DoucheWatch – And what do you do for a living, other than slam people you don't know, never will know on gossip blogs? Your the worst kind of dopuchebag…the "hillbilly douchebag" variety.
Re: Douchebag Destroyer – Harvard Gal, Jenna, mouch douche and all the other douchebag names you post under; GET MEDICATION…AND LOTS OF THERAPY. YOU NEED IT DESPERATELY. I bet John is laughing his ass off at your pathetic re-posting. Want to know how we know it's you? You keep making the same spelling error…"harvard gal" Blahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Happy New Year to You too!! LMAO LMAO LMAO!
Re: Deborah – What's the spelling error, genius? Or is this another one of your paranoid crack delusions - a hallucination perhaps? I have one word for you dear, rehab.
Re: Harvard Gal – Obviously, you're not attending Harvard or you wouldn't be this stupid to not see it…I'll let it play out. How pathetic you are, sad really, I mean like Britney train wreck kind of sad. My advice to you little Miss Mental is to get into counseling ASAP. Tell me dear, do you have as many personalities as you do post names?
Re: Deborah – Are you schizophrenic as well? Why do you refer to yourself as "we"? "you know how WE know…" You are just straight up, on your ass CRAZY. Get help dear.
Btw, YOU obviously did not go to Harvard (in fact it seems that you probably didn't finish 6th grade) since you make elementary grammatical errors, like using "your" when you mean "you're". As in "you're" a aparanoid, crazy, idiot, DEBORAH.
Re: Deborah – Also, I'll ask you once again, what's the spelling error GENIUS? Don't try to play it off…..there isn't one and you're embarrassed because of your own idiocy.
Why don't you email whoever monitors Perez's boards and see if the posts are from different people (and also if I really go to Harvard) - it must really suck to have special needs like you, DEBORAH.
Re: Harvard Gal – Talk about fucking idiots…you can't see your own spelling errors? And obviously too stupid to press the comment button only once. Tell us all (we) why you feel so obsessed and why medication hasn't worked for you before mysticgodess or should I say pooltop. GET A LIFE OR GET MEDS! I don't have to email Perez…does that give you a hint?
Re: Harvard Gal – Hope you're looking in the mirror while you type. Multi posting under several names and reposting day after day the same pathetic, lame ass comments. You even have to pretend to agree with yourself on a BLOG you use to facilitate your obsession for John Mayer and his personal life ! LMFAO! Funny but not really. Saddness.
This guy makes me laugh! Love his music and guy next door persona!
Come on Perez…where was John for NYE and who was he with? Remember last year when gasp! he came out with Jessica? Hope this year was better for him, I'm sure it was if he was with Minka.
I heard John and Minka fizzled out because of the distance thing. I hope not, I really think she's a nice girl and very pretty.
I'd let him stick the tip in for sure, he's sezzzzzy!
I wonder if anyone has heard the rumor about him acting in a movie next year? Please fill us in if you hear anything else!!
Re: Deborah – It just shows me that you're LYING. I've just called your bluff, JACKASS….since I didn't post under any other name than "Harvard Gal". If there was any veracity (sorry, I forgot about your special needs and didn't mean to use a multi-syllabic word - veracity means 'truth', tard) to your paranoid supposition, AND you could verify the origins of postings - you would know that I didn't post under any other names. You're a LYING PSYCHO - congratulations on outing yourself!!
Re: Harvard Gal – Of course you're deranged so mabe you don't realize you multi post under different names. LMAO! If I was lying you wouldn't be so upset. YOU know you have issues. AND "Harvard Gal" (could you get anymore pretentious?) the very fact that you keep coming back for rebuttals says it all don't you think? YOU'RE A STRAIGHT UP LOSER , ADD A DASH OF DOUCHE AND YOU'VE GOT A PSYCHO IDIOT WHO THINKS THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND HER OPINION. Honestly, you used to make me laugh now I'm filled with saddness. Now clean up your mess.
Re: Harvard Gal – Of course you're deranged so mabe you don't realize you multi post under different names. LMAO! If I was lying you wouldn't be so upset. YOU know you have issues. AND "Harvard Gal" (could you get anymore pretentious?) the very fact that you keep coming back for rebuttals says it all don't you think? YOU'RE A STRAIGHT UP LOSER , ADD A DASH OF DOUCHE AND YOU'VE GOT A PSYCHO IDIOT WHO THINKS THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND HER OPINION. Honestly, you used to make me laugh now I'm filled with saddness. Now clean up your mess.
Re: Deborah – yawn…
…what an asshole John Mayer is. David Bowie has STILL got it going on.
Who the hell is John Mayer anyhow???