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Mister, Don't Touch The Banana!

Filed under: Personally Perez > Latinolicious

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Dios mio!

The New York Post's Latino section, Tempo, spoke to a Latin psychic to get his predictions for '08 for some Latinolicious stars, including Perezito.

Here is what EL NIÑO PRODIGIO has to say about Perez:

"Perez Hilton: Perez better watch out - some celeb will try to beat him up, but the spirit guides say that he will win the "fight." His love life continues to suffer (no soulmate yet) but he will be in a love triangle - i.e. an affair with a very famous celebrity, making scandalous news himself. On the home front, Perez will buy his dream home this year. Plans for that "Oprah"-like talk show finally start. Get your lawyers (and mind) correct."

Que locura!

    Posted: Jan 10, 2008 at 8:31 pm / Email this  »
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    See All 83 Comments

    83 comments to “Mister, Don't Touch The Banana!”

    1. why says – reply to this


      1

      1st, what's the point, but always wanted to do it

    2. why says – reply to this


      2

      1st, what's the point, but always wanted to do it

    3. .nicole. says – reply to this


      3

      tyson beckford! =)

    4. noel says – reply to this


      4

      first!!!

    5. lj says – reply to this


      5

      yawn

    6. samaya says – reply to this


      6

      firstttttttttttttttttttttt maybe :-)

    7. laura says – reply to this


      7

      not first =(

    8. .nicole. says – reply to this


      8

      who would want to beat up perez?

    9. elle says – reply to this


      9

      Ooh la la! Who else would you like to be in the triangle?

    10. JesusFreak says – reply to this


      10

      Perez, find solace in Christ. He is the only one who can help you obtain contentment in your life. He loves you. He always has.

    11. Lou-Ann says – reply to this


      11

      Wow…somehow i really hope this comes true for you Perez…… I actually think that if this happens it may not be too bad…..and as for the Love triange…shit have a orgy!!! did someone say threesome!!

    12. jas says – reply to this


      12

      muy bien

    13. jas says – reply to this


      13

      muy bien

    14. hailee says – reply to this


      14

      hahah perez. ily. :)

    15. Marisol says – reply to this


      15

      COOL, Best wishes to you Perez, you have a fan in me :)

    16. MAN OF LEISURE says – reply to this


      16

      PUH-LEASE QUEEN.

    17. fairiestar says – reply to this


      17

      his predictions mean nothing to me….what i'm wondering is what WALTER MERCADO would say?

    18. Bee Nicer says – reply to this


      18

      but how funny would it be to see P nasty himself get a dose of his own medicine and have his fat arse kicked around…i'd pay big paparazzo bucks to see that!!

    19. Severine says – reply to this


      19

      2nd!

    20. mj says – reply to this


      20

      FIRST, AND LOVE IT!

    21. laura says – reply to this


      21

      jajja go pereZ!!! perez cada vez eres más famoso en todo el mundo ;) ajja viva méxico, méxico

    22. nikki says – reply to this


      22

      wow, first?

    23. mary4 says – reply to this


      23

      nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    24. John says – reply to this


      24

      Watch Hillary Clinton's new video on youtube ! www.youtube. com/watch?v=WqibBRlF3EE
      Watch Hillary Clinton's new video on youtube ! www.youtube. com/watch?v=WqibBRlF3EE
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      Watch Hillary Clinton's new video on youtube ! www.youtube. com/watch?v=WqibBRlF3EE
      Watch Hillary Clinton's new video on youtube ! www.youtube. com/watch?v=WqibBRlF3EE
      Watch Hillary Clinton's new video on youtube ! www.youtube. com/watch?v=WqibBRlF3EE

    25. davide says – reply to this


      25

      2008-the year of death.

    26. stephanie says – reply to this


      26

      o0oh perez! when you get in this triangle and the fight i hope we hear all the delish details!!!!!

    27. perezisthebomb says – reply to this


      27

      ROFL OMG that is SO utterly sad. Its prob some dried up old celeb who perez doesn't even waste his time putting on his site and they are all up set haha PEREZ RULES go son go

    28. Brittney Spears says – reply to this


      28

      So I guess your going to be fucking Chris Crocker or Bobby Trendy by this mans predictions . That'll be a fight for bottom. Good luck.

    29. arty says – reply to this


      29

      hahhaaaaaa! he wishes!!

    30. eddielurve says – reply to this


      30

      you so awesome perezzy

    31. myfriendDavio says – reply to this


      31

      I think Your mistery man will be CHRIS CHROCKER!

    32. m says – reply to this


      32

      FIRST!!!! and hell yeah perez will win! it'd probably be ome celeb too drunk or doped up to even stand though.

    33. Hugo Chavez says – reply to this


      33

      Orale

    34. Breakout Star says – reply to this


      34

      (for my friends who still hurt themselves)
      An alternative to cutting & self-harm:
      I discovered this after I kept getting so many useless cheap ceramic items for Xmas and birthdays. There's no room for them in the house and you can't even sell them to a pawn shop. Just throw a ceramic figurine against a brick wall or a stone structure like a bridge when no one's around (to avoid hurting other people too). This helps to vent your feelings, kinda like cursing. Axl Rose from G'n'R actually perfected this pastime. It's better to break a ceramic item than to break yourself. Self-harm hurts. It also leaves a reminder that stays with you for the rest of your life. Scars are harder to get rid of than tattoos. They are unappealing and ugly to almost everyone except people like Marilyn Manson. Angelina Jolie used to cut herself when she was a teenager. I don't think she got tattoos to cover her scars though.

      Some gifts you really don't need and don't feel like keeping, especially if you weren't that friendly with the person who gave it to you, like a relative you're not on good terms with or someone who's interested in you but the feeling ain't mutual. I'm not the worst people in the world. George W Bush is.

    35. up til midnight says – reply to this


      35

      woo hoo Perez! When it happens are you gonna fill us in on ALL the goss…. or are you gonna go all CELEBRITY on us and keep it top secret.

    36. loagun says – reply to this


      36

      obviously this person is on crack. a love triangle witha celeb? i think not, maybe that fat guy nicknamed gummie bear and that greasy guy that called lohand fire crotch.

      as for an 'orah' like talk show? haha no one will ever take pig-hilton seriously after all the shit he has written about people on his site.

    37. que viva chango says – reply to this


      37

      hahahahaha..que embuste..your ass is going to get a beatdown, but you won't win. MAYBE Letup on Kicking people when down.
      As long as you blogg for fun and not to RUIN lives you be ok Perez pero tu sabes que a DIOS no le gustas lo FEO. y a veces tu te pasa de la mata

    38. JACQUELINE says – reply to this


      38

      is IT GONNA BE YOU AND MARC JACOBS? REMEMBER WHEN YOU WENT TO LUNCH LOL naw ….not likely unfortunately:P

    39. cody says – reply to this


      39

      so where are the latin star predictions you were talking about? you're not a star. your talent is drawing on pics and commenting on people who you will never be.

    40. CLE says – reply to this


      40

      that has to be very surreal…I can not imagine picking up a paper and seeing someone's predictions about my life…Well here is to all the GOOD stuff in that paragraph.

    41. Mike says – reply to this


      41

      Oh please. Perez couldn't win a fight against an 8-year-old… girl.

    42. 3424 says – reply to this


      42

      He also forgot to mention you'll die of a heart attack because of your high blood pressure. Sorry to warn you, fat bitch!

      Luv ya though!

    43. 2in1shotmama says – reply to this


      43

      saddly no one got your Chango referance.
      Rock on Miz. Nasty! With the santos on your side your bound to have all tha you can wish for…

    44. 2in1shotmama says – reply to this


      44

      saddly no one got your Chango referance.
      Rock on Miz. Nasty! With the santos on your side your bound to have all tha you can wish for…

    45. THE REAL PREDICTION..... says – reply to this


      45

      Perez Hilton: Perez better watch out - some celeb will try to beat him up, the spirit guides say that he will lose the "fight" and get the beating of his life. He will get sued and his 15 minutes of fame and fortune will be over forever. " His love life continues to suffer (no soulmate ever) but he will be in a love triangle - i.e. an affair with a very famous celebrity's Dog and a huge plate of french fries. making scandalous news himself. On the home front, Perez will lose his dream home this year, he will spend his days on skid row and his nights begging for spare change outside of the clubs from the very celebrities he used to trash . Plans for an appearance on that "Jerry Springer"-like talk show finally start. Get your lawyers (and weight) correct."

      Que locura Fatso!

    46. mc says – reply to this


      46

      GummyBear is going to beat you…. LOL

    47. Gigi says – reply to this


      47

      Mister Don't touch the banana…Banana belongs to CHANGOOO!!!

      Haha…another way I can tell we're both Miami cuban natives.

    48. hija_yemaya says – reply to this


      48

      …la banana es de chango. i love willie chirino. anyway el nino prodijo knows nothing…listen to walter his the real thing!!!!!!!!!

    49. ang says – reply to this


      49

      omi mi, Chango! Cabio Sile! Hmmmm…interesting choice of photos, Perez. Chango brings justice! Hopefully only good things for you, my love

    50. Katie says – reply to this


      50

      oooo, I hope Perez gets an Oprah like talk show, it would be fabulous! I can't wait until this scandalous celeb love triangle, it sounds so exciting. Perez, you rock huny!

    51. Michelle says – reply to this


      51

      OMG, Perez! You and Zac Efron?! Finally?!

    52. ericaaaaa says – reply to this


      52

      really perez, i wish you the worst year ever.

      and i also hope someone beats the shit out of you.

    53. Dumb asses says – reply to this


      53

      these people are so backwards, how can they believe this stone-age magic?

    54. Bitch, please! says – reply to this


      54

      Everyone knows you live with your mami, Perez.

    55. Grace says – reply to this


      55

      Dude, you are NOT a star, you will never be a star. You may be the size of a constellation, but famous you are not.

    56. hurthim says – reply to this


      56

      I PRAY EVERYDAY THAT PEREZ GETS BEATEN UP AND I AM CONFIDENT THAT IT WILL EVENTUALLY HAPPEN

    57. Illegal Alien MURDERS Houston COP says – reply to this


      57

      In August 1998, Camp posted a $10,000 bond for Quintero after he was jailed on an indecency with a child charge and hired an attorney to defend him. After the worker was deported in May 1999, Camp sent him money in Mexico and later bought him a plane ticket from Phoenix to Houston after Quintero re-entered through Arizona illegally, according to an affidavit by an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent. Camp then purchased a house in Houston and rented it to Quintero who than KILLED Officer JOHNSON…..

    58. Illegal Alien MURDERS Houston COP says – reply to this


      58

      In August 1998, Camp posted a $10,000 bond for Quintero after he was jailed on an indecency with a child charge and hired an attorney to defend him. After the worker was deported in May 1999, Camp sent him money in Mexico and later bought him a plane ticket from Phoenix to Houston after Quintero re-entered through Arizona illegally, according to an affidavit by an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent. Camp then purchased a house in Houston and rented it to Quintero who than KILLED Officer JOHNSON…..

    59. Illegal Alien MURDERS Houston COP says – reply to this


      59

      In August 1998, Camp posted a $10,000 bond for Quintero after he was jailed on an indecency with a child charge and hired an attorney to defend him. After the worker was deported in May 1999, Camp sent him money in Mexico and later bought him a plane ticket from Phoenix to Houston after Quintero re-entered through Arizona illegally, according to an affidavit by an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent. Camp then purchased a house in Houston and rented it to Quintero who than KILLED Officer JOHNSON…..

    60. mia says – reply to this


      60

      Love triangle with a celeb… spicy! I bet it is going to be with Britney & her sex-mad, pap, BF… Adnin! Hotness!

    61. Lisa says – reply to this


      61

      Mucha suerte, Perezito! Y no es vino tinto y manzana para Santa Barbara? De cualquier forma, mucha suerte y que todo te siga tan bien como vas!

    62. Your mom says – reply to this


      62

      1st: NO ONE CARES ABOUT PEREZ. POST ABOUT CELEBS NOT YOURSELF, MORON.

      2nd: Neeevvvver gonna happen, bud. Keep dreaming. You're barely a step above Chris Crocker as far as wannabe famous people go.

    63. bella says – reply to this


      63

      Best of Luck! God Loves You too, He always has and always will.
      He longs for your love right back :)

    64. Perez sucks dick and chokes on the cum says – reply to this


      64

      My prediction:
      AIDS KILLS FAG PEREZ DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      Let's hope this prediction comes true.

    65. Asshole Latina says – reply to this


      65

      Re: Lisa – Shut up wetback spic! Speak English or die!

    66. VANITY RIVERS says – reply to this


      66

      FULL OF GRACE!!!!!!!!!!

    67. gigi says – reply to this


      67

      i love that willie chirino song!!! anywho, it will be a great year for you regardless because you are fabulous and cuban.

    68. PaLanteApparel says – reply to this


      68

      Are you a proud Latina who wants to represent your país and everything it stands for-the culture, people, heritage, flag and of course la música!?! Si eres una Latina orgullosa then you gotta check us out at…. www.palanteapparel.com

    69. asswipe says – reply to this


      69

      Why the fuck does the New York Times have a fucking Latino section? How fucking stupid is that?

    70. ohplease says – reply to this


      70

      Perez.. you are WAY way way way way way way way waaaayyyy too ugly for tv… you? with a talk show? on tv? oh please…

    71. mae says – reply to this


      71

      well if you have that Chango on your side you won't have a problem

    72. jennzz says – reply to this


      72

      Perez,,

      I'm so happy for you,, you got your future told and you did not have to be there,, you are so "famous" now,,
      I have been patiently waiting for you to have that love triangle bite your in the ass,, how cute would that be,, you would snag you some big celebrity ass,, hehhehehe,,, that scandal of all that would be awesome!!!!
      plus,, I hope you find your other half,, if you are looking,, but who knows,,, you gotta get laid sometime or another,,

      good luck with your predictions!!
      hehehehehe

    73. leave Perez alone you asshole idiots says – reply to this


      73

      **you haters are sick**
      why all that hateful comments??
      racist,,, hateful,, homophobes,,,
      you freaks should worry about your own shit,,
      you are not perfect,,,
      you are all just jealous you are not famous
      like Perez is famous..
      and he is not ugly
      and he is not fat,,
      he is only slightly chubby,,,(baby fat)
      grrrr
      leave Perez alone,,
      stupid jerks!

    74. Shanel says – reply to this


      74

      rock the Santa Barbara statue, my fellow cubano! 2008 will rock

    75. Nance says – reply to this


      75

      Oye Chico,

      where can I find that Santa Barbara Statue? Its he nicest one ive seen. . Send me a detail con los detalles a si I can go check it out and the other statues they've got. I never thought you'd be into this religion, quidate. .

    76. nico says – reply to this


      76

      la banana es de Changó!!

    77. close your eyes and youll think Im Chace... says – reply to this


      77

      Get on it boy…btw, this omni woman thinks you are the hotness, I loves me some big men..If things dont work out btwn you and your mystery celeb, Ill strap one on for you any day gorgeous.

    78. li`l miss moffat says – reply to this


      78

      no way,perez&tom cruise?!so hot!!!watch the fuck out,scientology spice!

    79. JESUS WAS A BIG HOMO says – reply to this


      79

      #10 - JesusFreak-JESUS GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS BY 12 MEN ON A DINNER TABLE AFTER TOO MUCH WINE!

    80. caro says – reply to this


      80

      ay ya yaay.. banana belong to chango…

    81. caro says – reply to this


      81

      uh-oh, not good,
      banana belong to chango….

    82. Vagina says – reply to this


      82

      life

    83. Juan says – reply to this


      83

      Mira, don't touch the banana, the banana belong to Chango!, You have to be Cuban to get it, or aleast from MIA.