Almost As Bad As Britney At The VMAs

Johnny Depp's wife "performed" at the NRJ Music Awards in France this past weekend.

And by performed, we mean sucked big time!

Not only did Vanessa Paradis totally lipsynch her song, but she meandered around the stage so lethargically it practically put us to sleep.

Don't do heroin before the show!

Click here to watch her shiteous performance!

Posted: Jan 28, 2008 at 5:11 pm / Email this »

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841 comments to “Almost As Bad As Britney At The VMAs”

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IN FRANCE VANESSA IS THE STAR NOT DEPP says – reply to this

801

SHE DOESN'T NEED HER MAN TO BE FAMOUS. SHE IS A SUPER STAR SINCE 1987. NOBODY CARES ABOUT DEPP IN FRANCE BUT EVERYBODY CARES ABOUT VANESSA AND LOVE HER (AMAZING ACTRESS AND GOOD SINGER). ALL PARISIANS BEAUTIES ARE AS SKINNY AS HER BECAUSE YOU'RE HUGLY AND YOU DON'T EXIST HERE IF YOU'RE NOT SKINNY ! IF YOU DON'T LIKE VANESSA'S SONGS PLEASE GOOGLE CARLA BRUNI (SUPERMODEL & SINGER, NEW FRENCH PRESIDENT'S GIRLFRIEND) AND YOU TUBE HER SONGS YOU WILL FIND VANESSA VERY FAT, VERY ENERGIC AND WITH A POWERFUL VOICE.
sophie says – reply to this

802

i think she's sweet…why all singers will have to do a choreography…well all do the same???the song is quite mi tempo…so the idea of just walking and moving a bit feets good with that song…that's all…
mika says – reply to this

803

fuck u, she's very pretyy, a lot of talent so shut up fucking american's people!!!! i love vanessa§!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she's the best!
Johnnibabiii says – reply to this

804

Yes, she's very avarage looking but what wrong with that? Not everyone's Angelina Jolie or Jessica alba puhh.. I think she's cute and pretty lucky to have the SEXIEST man on earth! xx
frenchgirl says – reply to this

805

Re: lg –
frenchgirl says – reply to this

806

Re: lg – oh i see you maybe spent some times in France in your dreams !!!! because as a french in my whole life i never met a women that doesnt shave!!! your giving us the typical cliché here !!!!

i've been many many times in the US and talk about the skin ( yurkk!!)you there can't afford a dermatologist or what???? it's the breakout nation!!! all pimples and bizarre stuff on your face !!and i don't talk about the weight !!!! the first time i was shocked really shocked because i never saw before THIS FAT people stuffing their mouth the whole day!!!i was not even aware that a human being can be that fat without exploding!!!

and of course like in any country they are fugs here!! but actually in your own country the only pretty people are the famous one !!!

so yeah you've been in imaginary FRANCE …. the one that existed in the 40's!!!!
moi says – reply to this

807

wtf..?…… that girl is a joke…….. i have just lost any love i once had for hollywood…….. why is it that anyone who has ever been famous in any way can have a music career, i mean didn't you used to have to work hard to succeed in hollywood…… do they hand out music careers in vending machines now or something? ……..THESE PEOPLE ARE KILLING EVERYTHING PEOPLE LOVE ABOUT MUSIC AND POLUTING THE YOUNG INTO BELIEVING IN A NOW SOULESS ART…….. and honestly i'm so sick of seeing famous all fucked on drugs…… seriously be greatful for your life of luxgery….. you could have real problems….. but since noone in hollywood does they create problems in a half assed attempt to be human…….. melt the plastic people…
jasmine says – reply to this

808

Shes been had a gap in her teeth, he met her that way and fell madly inlove with her there must be something great about her that made johnny depp so crazy about her

But i adtee she should atleast took a mic with her it look like she aint even care
ronnie says – reply to this

809

man, thats embarrassing to watch. dental work and divorce in this chicks future.
Sheena says – reply to this

810

god it was so pretty… she is beautiful and it's great that she didnt' even wore a microphone: this shitty show didn't want her to sing in real, just playback, so why having one? it's just honest. and it's not about "entertainment", it's about MUSIC. she's an artist, not a fucking "dancing" and "singing" Barbie doll as for exemple this pathetic Britney. she looked like a fairy.
rama says – reply to this

811

She's really amazing ! She hate "music award", and she is right !
the major obliged her to come…so..

but, a lot of american can not understand, they are so "bling bling"… so Pretentious… no style, no class, so ! how can they understand the music ! Poor american !
rama says – reply to this

812

And she is, an "icone" for all fashion designer, like gautier, dior, lacroix, and this other so…
But a lot of american can not understand, what is the fashion. a lot of american people make a confusion between fashion and circus! so… They think that provocation is soooo class… they think that "bimbo" are so class.. that lifting is so class and so beautifull, but ! NOOOOOOO……
An American in Paris says – reply to this

813

Re: frenchgirl – Well Darling I was in Paris this past July. I am usually there at least once a year. My first suggestion is to put out the damn cigarettes. Yes it might cause you to gain a few kilos, but your skin would look sooo much better and your breath would improve tremendously. Second suggestion …DEODORANT. Parfum, even the most exquisite French perfume does not mix well with body odor.
Also, please tell me why if French women are soooo beautiful, their husbands have the highest rate of adultery? Finally, if you find America and Americans so distasteful…GO HOME.
an American in Paris says – reply to this

814

Re: rama – Vanessa has no style or class. She insulted her audience by behaving like a petulant Brat.
an American in Paris says – reply to this

815

Re: rama – She was a cute little girl when she began. Now she is a walking hangar, whose Chanel ads are retouched beyond belief. Heroin Chic is passe'
R U Kidding? says – reply to this

816

Re: frenchgirl – The cliche is that all French women are beautiful.
serenity says – reply to this

817

cute french fangs.
marissaa says – reply to this

818

WHHAT does Depp see in her?!
Amber says – reply to this

819

Um. Why does she get to sleep with Johnny Depp?
Joce says – reply to this

820

dang, that was bad. maybe she was drunk. the set was more entertaining than she was
AlisaKiss says – reply to this

821

I never heard her music before but I like the song and I think she's pretty
meg says – reply to this

822

She did this consciously, The radio station that organises this show threatened her: if she did not perform she would not be broadcasted anymore. So she did what we call in France "le strict minimum". that is to do as less as you can. She completly assumed it.
frenchgirl says – reply to this

823

Re: An American in Paris –
your last comment made me laugh out loud for many minutes==> your obviously never came here!!!! i mean HAHA!!! you sound so silly do you realize it==> people that travel do no talk about ratings!!!! they talk about SPECIFIC experiences!!

but apprently you just looove ratings so let's
40% of french are smokers===> is there 60% of fat people or at least chubby (you know the ones you call normal and healthy..)
sarkozy didn't cheat his wife ( and information you knew if you actually came here in july…) she left him!!

american men can create their own league concerning cheatting and perversion!! they are just more hyppocrits…………

oh about the corporal hygiene you obviously never went to France LOL your description seemed so inspired for the 40's movies that it was laughable!!==> the dermatologists are campaining here because with the obsession of the french for showering twice a day, allergies are increasing==> talk about people that don't shower !! ha

AND I JUST LOVE AMERICA I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS THERE AND I GO THERE AT LEAST 5 TIMES PER YEAR……………you are not inoff subtle to get that to the cliché of the dirty french i was answering with the cliché of ugly american………. but not as you as i actually went there ….. i know that clichés are crap!!!

HEY WHAT COUNTRY ARE YOU PLANNING TO VISIT IN YOUR NEXT FANTASY?????? just asking………….LOL!!
Lola says – reply to this

824

Oh my fucking God! Johnny had to go all the way to France to find that? He might have had better luck trolling the gutters of the Tenderloin in SF!!! Hideous! Simply hideous!
funnygal says – reply to this

825

She looks alot like Kate Moss…
vanrocks says – reply to this

826

Johnny Depp left the US for a reason … reading all these comments just reminded me why … he couldn't stand living amongst such horrible people anymore … Thanks Vanessa for not giving a shit and staying true to yourself!
Sandra says – reply to this

827

With all Depp's cash she has poo for teeth!

They could have done her a favor and given her a mic of some description, or maybe even some backup dancers to distract from the big fake "performance"!
vanrocks says – reply to this

828

Re: An American in Paris –

The question is, why do you keep going to France??

Johnny Depp left the US so he wouldn't have to live amongst people like you …
miss says – reply to this

829

i dont know what shes saying but i like the song!!!!
Kizzyluv says – reply to this

830

She must be good in bed ! Cause she can't sing and is NOT cute! What is Johnny thinking!
Nanna says – reply to this

831

WTFFFFFFF?
and she's supposted to be johnny's gf ?
not really a match ?
Emily says – reply to this

832

She can sing and she sing in french and english. She's classy too, there's no comparison to Britney.
Haha, I get it! says – reply to this

833

She did that on purpose. lol

I
Koko says – reply to this

834

OMFG, watch the video; it shows a CLOSE UP look of V's mouth. (EEEWWW)
GAWD, she would look less ridiculous in braces that she does now!
rocker says – reply to this

835

Yes the performance was not that great but that is no way worse than brittneys brittney did worse and brittney was in some damn skimpy outfit when she looked like a beached whale in a bikini. At least Vanessa knows what cloths are.
rona says – reply to this

836

come on.!!!! she is good, look for her videoes in youtube. her band wanst with her she had no choice.
Patrick says – reply to this

837

Re: Jenivere2006 – What ? Mary to a fat american one should be better ?
petrie says – reply to this

838

Re: Patrick – I think the gap is hot and i love the song. How did this turn into a stereotype war tho? I actually just got back from Paris a week ago and I didn't meet any French people that smelled bad at all and they do actually have better style but thats just part of their culture . America just started off more industriously without such a focus on fashion and thats no ones fault. But if your going to rip on Americans for being superficial why do you throw this whole style thing in their faces? Honestly i saw just as many fug people in Paris as i saw beautiful people just the same as it is in America and every other country I've been to. Not all Americans find this overtanned overbleached double d's image beautiful. You can't win an argument just by thinking your better than someone else we're just different so just accept it. To not consider someone a person because their not thin is sick no matter where your from obesity is a problem in many countries other than America and its not anything you should joke about. You should judge people on a person by person basis not make a sweeping generlization based on what country they come from especially a country as big as America where there are sooo many kinds of people from all over the world. But this is only the internet and it is too easy i guess.
johnnys real wife says – reply to this

839

NOT his wife; it's his girlfriend
jayVi says – reply to this

840

oh come on people ! she did not take the mic, ’cause every performer is doing the show with bakground voice, she's just not faking, and ya she can sing, I saw her in Paris, she's talented
atlika says – reply to this

841

slap her…she's french!