Headline of the Week Weak

"Smell of Failure: Man Attempts Robbery With Gun-Shaped Cologne Bottle"

Bless his heart, freakin' moron! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.

Smell of Failure: Man Attempts Robbery With Gun-Shaped Cologne Bottle

Akron police say a robbery attempt had more than a whiff of failure.

They accuse a man of trying to stick two people up outside a video store with a bottle of cologne that had been colored black with a marking pen and resembled a gun.

Police Lt. Rick Edwards says there was a scuffle, and the bottle broke, so the suspect stank of cologne when officers arrived on the scene early Wednesday evening.

Forty-one-year-old Michael Kaminski is being held in the Summit County Jail on one count of aggravated robbery and one count of carrying a concealed weapon. That's not for the bottle but for a knife that police say Kaminski also had.

Bond has been set at $75,000. Jail and court officials say Kaminski does not yet have an attorney.

Posted: Mar 1, 2008 at 3:13 pm / Email this »

See All 119 Comments

119 comments to “Headline of the Week Weak”

More comments: [1] 2 »

Daisy says – reply to this

1

ha.
S says – reply to this

2

FIRST
heygirlhey says – reply to this

3

ho god thats gross
Kookoo says – reply to this

4

I totally dig him!
verena says – reply to this

5

yey first!!
GOD says – reply to this

6

Hah.
K says – reply to this

7

FIRST
Megan says – reply to this

8

first?
M says – reply to this

9

Goodness. That has GOT to be one of the worst mug shots ever.
nacho says – reply to this

10

first!
becca says – reply to this

11

first
h says – reply to this

12

first
La'shonda says – reply to this

13

urgh what a piece of trash. he needs help
meme says – reply to this

14

Haha–First
rew says – reply to this

15

first
aufirhuhuih says – reply to this

16

LOLOL
MY MOMMA SAID.... says – reply to this

17

WTF? Leave the Hallucinogenic drugs alone
jess says – reply to this

18

AHAHAHA, WHAT A STUPID REDNECK
ll says – reply to this

19

retard!!
Louie says – reply to this

20

First!
ladyballs says – reply to this

21

first?
ROD says – reply to this

22

100TH?!?!
yaya says – reply to this

23

what a moron…1st
Penelope says – reply to this

24

Of course he's from Ohio…

We know how to breed them.

Haha
DAN LAVOIE says – reply to this

25

Fuck me, that is funny!
Frankie says – reply to this

26

Just think…he now has to go to jail and get raped for this! God bless the morons who think they can get something for nothing. Wait, this is America. He won't go to jail!
librarianchick says – reply to this

27

hahahahahahahah I live in Akron, and my husband is an Akron cop, and I'm telling you, this is par for the course here. Nothing but the finest!! I love you Perez!!
{if itz not hillary//U momz zuckazz big time says – reply to this

28

♀☻zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz☻☼

♥ naztylookinazzhole ♥

♣☼☼ congratz perez{♥} ☼♣☼♣☼
Krookbug says – reply to this

29

Edward Norton should play him in the film version of the robbery.
Gordon says – reply to this

30

DUMB POLACK!!!!!!!!
audrey says – reply to this

31

hahaha. dumbass.
clevboy says – reply to this

32

dude used to be in the punk band cop shoot cop: http://blogs.clevescene.com/cnotes/2008/02/michael_kaminski_tries_to_rob.php .

too bad you missed that juicy bit of info, perez!
bob says – reply to this

33

He looks like Sean Bean…
bob sakamano says – reply to this

34

i emailed him and he posted it!
bob says – reply to this

35

He looks like an uglier, skinnier, dirtier Sean Bean.
pillow says – reply to this

36

A for effort. Reminds me of the stories of guys using painted squirt guns.
WOW says – reply to this

37

HERE IS THE LINK TO THE SEX TAPE FROM THE PEREZ HILTON SCANDAL! http://pornotube.com/media.php?m=1477923
onlyyourmomlovesyou says – reply to this

38

ummmmm you mean bail not bond RIGHT PEREZ?
grace says – reply to this

39

nt as funny as the guy robbing a place with a vibrator! lol
Henny says – reply to this

40

LMFAO. oMg what a MORON
liljonismyboyfriend says – reply to this

41

hahahahahahhahhahahahahhaaha
Madonna Healing says – reply to this

42

This is what the old twat looks like after some routine daily plastic surgery. cunt.
tome says – reply to this

43

from one white guy to another: you're just a stupid white guy. leave the robberies to the blacks. it's what they do best.
HAYWOOD says – reply to this

44

Ohio born
Ohio inbred baby !
We know retards !
julie in canada says – reply to this

45

Haha. He must have been really desperate.
HAYWOOD says – reply to this

46

by the way-seriously- the guy who kicked this guys ass works at a tamming salon next door to the store he tried to rob.
he wouldn't go on local tv but Perez would have found him yummy !
houskat says – reply to this

47

He makes Britt Britt look like queen …..fucking scumbag!!!!!
carina says – reply to this

48

OMG, he's so fucking hot! Sexy!
Avon calling! says – reply to this

49

I think Avon sold cologne for men in a gun shaped bottle in the 70s. I remember it. What a fucking funny story. He will make someone a nice girlfriend in prison.
km says – reply to this

50

So proud this idiot is from my hometown. Awesome to see he made PerezHilton, though!
jimmyjazz says – reply to this

51

HEY EVERYBODY CHECK ME OUT……..LAST NIGHT SOME IDIOT WAS SPEWING HOMOPHOBIC CRAP AT A CLUB SO I DESCRIBED HIS CAR AND ROUTE TO THE PO PO…..
.
.
AND I FOUND OUT TODAY HE GOT ARRESTED GOING HOME BECAUSE OF ME!.
.
.
.
.
HOLLER BITCHES!!! TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT
jimmyjazz says – reply to this

52

I CALLED THE PO PO!!!! THE PO PO!!!!!1
.
.
TO THE LEFT TO THE LEFT
.
.
.
.
.
…………………………TO THE MIDDLE TO THE MIDDLE
.
.
.
BE GOOD PACA
.
.
.
.
I MIGHT JUST GIVE YOU A LITTLE!
AngieAndroid says – reply to this

53

hes my HERO.
nice mugshot, kid.
lorraine says – reply to this

54

oooo- what COLOGNE comes in a gun shaped bottle? lololo
CORN says – reply to this

55

Who kicked the shit out of his face? Old Spice aftershave for men?
Julie says – reply to this

56

At first glance I thought this was paul Rudd. Ha!
Donna says – reply to this

57

Sorry but he is a dumb pollack!!!
simone says – reply to this

58

dumbass!
sugarpuss says – reply to this

59

I heard he's gonna bust outta the slammer with a perfume bottle shaped like a file.
G'DANG BANG IT! says – reply to this

60

I'D STUFF THAT FACE FULL OF TUBE STEAK!
Kate says – reply to this

61

Hey Perez that's my dad. Silly daddy.
Evan says – reply to this

62

HAHAHAHAHA that was worth pausing "Kenny vs. Spenny" to read ahahaha
Becky says – reply to this

63

My goodness! Dumb ! Fuck ! Silly man
Alexandra says – reply to this

64

I live IN THIS TOWN AND GO TO COLLEGE IN AKRON!!

A K ROWDY, ROWDY
NORTH SIDE, SUMMIT COUNTY
TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT IT

i can't believe AKRON is on this website….
Sonny says – reply to this

65

haha, so glad to see this idiot made it here! I live in Akron, and Mike lives in the apartment directly above me…or should i say, used to live
suzyh says – reply to this

66

what ….. an ….. idiot ……
Who, me? says – reply to this

67

In an unrelated story, another Akron man accidentally shot himself in the face while applying cologne. Film at 11.
Thomas Sing Sing Gang Bang Long Dong says – reply to this

68

Butthead. From Beavis & Butthead. Yeah, definitely Butthead.
mr.martini says – reply to this

69

EVERYONE RUN OUT AND BUY MARIAHS NEW ALBUM!!!!…….
BOYCOTT OLD ASS SAGGY VAJAJAYS ALBUM = MADONNA
:D
-by mimi lamb
Gina says – reply to this

70

Of course this had to be from my city in Ohio, asshole!
Annabel Chong says – reply to this

71

Re: lisa – What grade are you in honey? Don't you know all of that is fake? It's past your bedtime.
xtal says – reply to this

72

idiota conyoo!!
Candice says – reply to this

73

Oh my god, it's Peter Stormare ("Karl Hungus") from the Big Lebowski!!! Fucking nihilist! Hehe.
ariel says – reply to this

74

I thought it was travis barker for a second!
brisnan says – reply to this

75

sounds like raising arizona
Angst Granma says – reply to this

76

yeouch! his nose look broken.
jenbunny says – reply to this

77

i can't believe i saw this fucker in concert! it's a guy from cop shoot cop! douche!
jenbunny says – reply to this

78

from botched roberries that gave the world curious, j'adore, and stunning.

introducing: STANQUE. a perez hilton fragrance, now available at nordstrom.
angela says – reply to this

79

Stupid ass REDNECK!!!
FRICKIN GORGEOUS says – reply to this

80

ha ha fuckin fabulous stinky bastard hahaha i uv it just seen you on radio free radio bunghole
EuropEll says – reply to this

81

He's lucky someone didn't shoot him with a real gun.
gross says – reply to this

82

grossss..
stupid buzzing thing says – reply to this

83

that thing that keeps buzzing is really ANNOYING
Bono says – reply to this

84

Shame on you Perez for posting this story and making fun of this poor soul.
spike says – reply to this

85

Another dumb inbred Buckeye.
SmellsLikeTeenSpirit says – reply to this

86

Stop me if you heard this one before - A Pollack with a gun-shaped bottle of cologne tries to rob the rich of their lupins. He took some drugs which gave him (Calvin Kleins) Euphoria. He saw their lupins which made him want them (Calvin Klein's Obsession). Now I bet he wishes he had Calvin Klein's Escape.
???? says – reply to this

87

Is that Sean Bean?
shay says – reply to this

88

lol he looks half reterded.. and it looks like his eye just took a dump on his face! ewww…
Londoner says – reply to this

89

That is so damn sad.
Elizabeth says – reply to this

90

Is it just me or does this guy look like a younger, roughed up version of Britney Spears' dad, Jamie Spears?
ohio says – reply to this

91

Re: Bono –

Thank you. I'm checking this out because I know this tortured soul. Reading these just makes me wonder why anyone would be taking the time to post such comments. What a sad world we live in……
U.S.S.R says – reply to this

92

The Unibomber was named Kaminski also. Pollacks are the dumbest people in Europe. Drunks and wife beaters.
nosyneighbor says – reply to this

93

I thought it was Travis Barker.
maggie says – reply to this

94

he's a hottie!!!!!!!!!
Casey says – reply to this

95

What a loser!!!!
VanessaLutz says – reply to this

96

AHAH!!!
VanessaLutz says – reply to this

97

I meant: Ha Ha!
kcb says – reply to this

98

Representing OHIO!!! WOO WOO!!
DottieDot says – reply to this

99

HEY!

Only true southern born U.S. citizens are allowed to use that phrase - "bless his heart".

It only sounds realistic coming from a true southern born person!
Save the Pandas says – reply to this

100

Maybe it was Britney's stinky perfume, it could have really killed someone with its hiedous smell. Thank God there where no causualties:)

More comments: [1] 2 »

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Criss Angel Is Recorded Threatening To Knock Out His Producer!

Whoa! Criss Angel is NOT messing around here!

The Luxor headlining illusionist was recorded having quite the verbal altercation with Joe Monti, one of his magic producers on Wednesday, during which Angel is heard threatening to knock him out - and now he's had a police report filed against him!

Give it a listen (above)!

Furthermore, Monti later said to authorities that he recorded the meeting because Angel has a history of bullying employees!

He explains:

“I wanted him to know how demeaning he was. I created 50-60 percent of the magic for ‘Mindfreak.' I have no reason to do anything vindictively but I draw the line on violence.”

Scary!

Violence is never the answer, folks!