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"Sperm donors offered free festival tickets
Passes to any music festival in Europe available"

This is not a joke! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.

Sperm donors offered free festival tickets

Passes to any music festival in Europe available

Sperm donors are to be offered free tickets to any music festival in Europe under a new initiative.

Passes to a festival of their choice will be offered to any donors in Europe who contribute to Ireland’s sperm reserves.

Irish stocks are apparently dwindling, with demand far higher than is sustainable, and donations down by 40% over the last four years.

The Sperm For Tickets initiative makes use of special donation containers and a fast courier network to offer donation via mail.

Anyone in Europe can request a donation pack, indicating which European festival they wish to attend via Spermfortickets.com.

    Posted: Mar 12, 2008 at 5:40 pm / Email this  »
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    See All 60 Comments

    60 comments to “Headline of the Week Weak”

    1. Go Little Swimmers! says – reply to this


      1

      oh, and if you rushed to type "first," you're a pathetic loser.

    2. hi says – reply to this


      2

      hhhhhiiii

    3. she-ra says – reply to this


      3

      ewwwwwwww.

    4. daddy_shades says – reply to this


      4

      FIRST.

    5. ail says – reply to this


      5

      hahaha!

    6. rufus says – reply to this


      6

      first

    7. Lauren says – reply to this


      7

      what the hell?!

    8. mimi says – reply to this


      8

      FIRST!

    9. lolli says – reply to this


      9

      FIRST BITCHEZ!

    10. LLL says – reply to this


      10

      i love irish guys!

    11. whocares says – reply to this


      11

      finding charlie

    12. mar says – reply to this


      12

      shu. wish i could donate!

    13. Rachel says – reply to this


      13

      I heart Perez

    14. cakj says – reply to this


      14

      first!

    15. MikeGravel2008 says – reply to this


      15

      Hillary's a Hack…

      and

      Buh-Rack is Whack!

      Vote Mike Gravel 2008!!!!

    16. me says – reply to this


      16

      bomb.

    17. caity says – reply to this


      17

      FIRST!!!!!!

    18. LAST says – reply to this


      18

      FIRST

    19. mollie says – reply to this


      19

      cute spermies

    20. SeXy DoUgHnUt says – reply to this


      20

      First, or second, or, third, or 22nd!

    21. drock says – reply to this


      21

      too bad i'm not in europe!

    22. SeXy DoUgHnUt says – reply to this


      22

      Re: SeXy DoUgHnUt –
      close enough

    23. rac says – reply to this


      23

      ahahah wow that is so beyond funny i am very entertained

    24. Lori says – reply to this


      24

      How could they allow submission by mail? Sperm donors have to be heavily screened and their identity verified when they come in. "By mail" would allow them to send in anyone's donation. With that being said, they do have huge issues over here with not having enough donors because they don't allow them to remain anonymous. (which I totally agree with)

    25. Dayvees says – reply to this


      25

      nasty

    26. Go Little Swimmers says – reply to this


      26

      I love to swallow the little swimmers cause I'm a duche bag!

    27. Sophiemadrid says – reply to this


      27

      I'd rather have the 50 bucks.

    28. amie says – reply to this


      28

      First?

    29. jenay says – reply to this


      29

      weird….

    30. Katrina says – reply to this


      30

      That's not fair, how about women!!

    31. I banged amie says – reply to this


      31

      And she was good!

    32. Lori says – reply to this


      32

      LOL! I forgot where I was and got all serious on you there! PEREZ isn't exactly the site for logical commentary.

    33. Neadaigh says – reply to this


      33

      Is that really true?? I'm Irish and haven't heard of this insane scheme!!! Isn't there a screening process?

    34. Ecuadorian_Mami says – reply to this


      34

      Weird…sperm is cute!

    35. mo says – reply to this


      35

      man i wish i has some sperm.

    36. NexusIM says – reply to this


      36

      If I had a ticket for every time I beat it…..

    37. NexusIM says – reply to this


      37

      If I had a ticket for each time I beat it….

    38. STUPID...nature is talking says – reply to this


      38

      People who can't have children should maybe take it as a hint that they should adopt and give needing children a home.

    39. Aimée says – reply to this


      39

      I think this is a great idea. :)
      Do you think if I show up with some sperm on my face I can get some tickets too? I really want to go. :(
      I might have some still crusted in my hair, can they rejuvenate it? I'm not even sure what sperm is really.
      Can anyone help? Is there a toll-free number?

    40. karen says – reply to this


      40

      I'm sure that will attract some real quality donations

    41. nanreally says – reply to this


      41

      cheap and hollow..must be some meth head's idea

    42. MJDEFJKBD says – reply to this


      42

      WHAT THE HELL

    43. Jefferson Coatsworth says – reply to this


      43

      Wake up, NME is shit and everything inside NME is shit.

    44. goatlike says – reply to this


      44

      that's how you get tix to 1 nite in austin but you have to make your donation directly to prezzer's bottom

    45. db says – reply to this


      45

      Geez it pays to be a wanker these days

    46. Stephanie says – reply to this


      46

      Mkay….
      Also, it that a picture of UNHEALTHY sperm? They looked a little jacked in that pic!

    47. kreekat says – reply to this


      47

      is this a joke? i mean, i would want to enlist doctors, lawyers, etc. from all over the world to be sperm donors- not acid head, ecstasy taking, weed smoking folks from music festivals!! and i am not trying to front- i am one of the latter described folks! btw- i will be at coachella 2008!!! so don't ask me to be a sperm donor!! this seriously has to be a joke.

    48. rea says – reply to this


      48

      yuck!!

    49. wonderwall says – reply to this


      49

      if i let some random guy bang me without a condom, and i fly over to ireland and queef out the sperm from my vagina into a cup, can i have a ticket?

    50. Pam says – reply to this


      50

      YUCK

    51. BlahBlah says – reply to this


      51

      Re: STUPID…nature is talking –

      Fuck off, CUNT! I hope you don't have kids and if you do, I hope they end up infertile.

    52. me says – reply to this


      52

      wo…that's crazy. i just don't understand these european countries whose birth rate is dropping that freak out and try to get more ppl to have babies…I mean how many orphans are there in the world? they need homes. i just think its kind of selfish that ppl use artificial insemination so much, when we have overpopulation and plenty of children with no family. (ps, i'm a queer womyn, sorry :)

    53. me says – reply to this


      53

      Re: BlahBlah –
      great argument, responding to an alternative view with sexist and violent language. suck my clit!

    54. Zoe says – reply to this


      54

      Hey Bradders,

      Put that super sperm to use and get us to the Leeds festival.

      This can be your means of an apology for me having to endure a antibiotic tablet inserted into my anus!!!

      Lets go amigo

      Lovey you, yes x

    55. kelly says – reply to this


      55

      I think it is a great idea as fertility is a big issue, many couples have to suffer as doners are put off donating nowdays. I just hope they are still screened correctly, however I think it is unfair to the rest of Europe that only Ireland is benefitting. Hopefully it will start to include thes rest and maybe is just piloting in Ireland.

    56. josh says – reply to this


      56

      actually, this is FAKE…

    57. Ruby says – reply to this


      57

      Why not eggs? They could have as many as they wanted for that kind of reward!!

    58. blah says – reply to this


      58

      I live in Ireland and I've heard nothing about this. Considering NME is a pissrag, I wouldn't believe it.

    59. Ol white chin says – reply to this


      59

      go to europe

    60. ladylady says – reply to this


      60

      This is disgusting!!!!!!! I know of a rap group called FRANK N DANK who the one called DANK would be the perfect candadate for this since he's already a deadbeat father with no conscience for the children he knows about, let alone the ones he would make just to get a ticket to a festival in europe. This reminded me of him being that I am the godmother of his 6 month old who he has never given ANYTHING to but since her birth he's somehow managed to go to europe twice… UUUUUUGGGHHHHHH…… ADOPT THE KIDS WHO REALLY NEED HOMES PEOPLE!!!!!!