Headline of the Week Weak

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"Inside the Sad, Bizarre World That Was the Lauren Conrad Show"

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[Image via WENN.]

Inside the Sad, Bizarre World That Was the Lauren Conrad Show

Attending last night’s Lauren Conrad Collection show at L.A.'s Fashion Week felt a lot like being dropped into the middle of an episode of The Hills — potentially juicy, questionably styled, ultimately a bit plotless, and yet strangely amusing. The celebrity turnout was limited to exactly the people you’d expect from that show and its sister soap, Laguna Beach. Well, and Lisa Rinna, who would attend the opening of a mouth. Presumably Putty Lips was there as a buyer for her L.A. store, Belle Grey, because after the show we heard her waxing annoying about how quickly her store sold out of Conrad’s first line; she called the latest collection “fresh, young, innovative…and fresh.” She had one of those things correct.

But first, the gossip: We spotted L.C.’s roommate Audrina Patridge wearing a long teal dress and pots of foundation — later, when she almost ran us down in her shiny, white two-door Mercedes Benz, we couldn’t help but notice her car had a Jeannie Bueller air about it that was in sync with Audrina’s weirdly eighties-style eyeliner. Considering she was essentially there to drum up press for MTV, we found it a bit surprising that she actually had to drive herself to the venue. Call your PR person, Audrina. Surely you’ve got one.

Inside, Audrina chatted up new regular Hills cast member Lo Bosworth and ol' standby Whitney Port, who looked very tall and pretty in person. In a refreshing moment of modesty, Whitney rather endearingly chose not to walk through the special red-carpet photo-op area and seemed sort of surprised when the photographers wouldn’t let her escape so easily. The girls were seated cheek by jowl with Lauren’s ex Brody Jenner, who spent the entire show tapping his feet to the music and giving finger guns to someone seated across the runway — possibly Lauren’s other ex and maybe-current boyfriend, Stephen Colletti. And because this was very clearly an MTV joint, which requires maximum drama even at a fashion show, we also spotted L.C.’s former arch-rival and ex-girlfriend of both Brody AND Stephen (you’re following this, right?), Laguna Beach’s Kristin Cavallari. She greeted both dudes enthusiastically, wandering into the venue twenty minutes after everyone else (and twenty minutes after they were seated and the media mob had left the runway) and frantically trying to yank up her low-rise jeans to prevent any unfortunate flashing incidents. We overheard her telling a reporter that she is SO single right now, and has NO — emphasis hers — plans to return to reality television, which may effectively quash those pesky rumors that she’s appearing on The Hills. Sadly, considering the circumstances, there were no screaming confrontations, crying jags, bitch slaps, or passionate kisses.

Also absent from the venue was anyone recognizable from Lauren’s former place of employment (er, “employment”), Teen Vogue, any celebrities willing to admit they totally love The Hills, or any decent fashion. We don’t say that with (much) glee. We went into the show completely prepared to like it, to be embarrassed by liking it, and to spend the rest of the week being defensive about liking it. This did not happen. Lauren claimed the line was inspired by her recent trip to Paris, and given how obviously and ham-handedly this influence was translated into the clothes, we’re frankly surprised she didn’t style the girls with baguettes and giant wheels of Brie. Let’s just say…there were berets involved, and, overall, the collection was sadly kind of tragique. We expected a line of derivative but serviceably-adorable cocktail dresses much like what Lauren herself wears around town — you know, the type of stuff she probably bought a season ago from BCBG and loved. Instead, we got paper-thin leggings with lazy and plain triangle shirts, cheap-looking fabric more befitting a Target line than anything you’d pay boutique prices for, and a terrible color palette that would give Michael Kors an aneurysm.

We understand the desire to strike while the iron of her celebrity is hot, but, overall, the effort felt very young, in the sense that Lauren probably needs a few more years of design school before she’s ready to take on anything this ambitious. Photos do the line more favors than an up-close look — hardly anything was properly fitted, many of the dresses bunched in the back, and one model’s boobs were totally squeezing out of the top of her dress. Our greatest moment of joy was seeing Chantal, the runner-up from last cycle of America’s Next Top Model, strutting down the runway — but even that was tinged with sadness, because, seriously, the girl still cannot walk and may even have regressed since she was last under the tutelage of Miss J.

L.C.’s friends tried their best, but mostly they wore very careful non-expressions on their faces. Whitney, in particular, seemed to be holding onto her poker face like grim death, probably because she realized how savaged her friend would be if any actual fashion press had attended. When an obviously relieved Conrad finally came out for her bow, only Cavallari stood for her initially, but the others got up once they realized what was happening and the room was full of extremely polite smiles. So despite all that dramatic potential, in the end, we found ourselves aching for Spencer and Heidi to storm the fortress and cause some real shenanigans. After all, as much as we don’t look to the MTV crowd for edgy fashion inspiration, we really don’t turn to it for lessons in manners.

    Posted: Mar 15, 2008 at 5:43 pm / Email this  »

    236 comments to “Headline of the Week Weak”

    More comments: [1] 2 3 »

    1. R says – reply to this


      1

      FIRST

    2. bbau says – reply to this


      2

      thats heartbreaking,”

    3. morgan says – reply to this


      3

      first =]

    4. iben says – reply to this


      4

      first

    5. Jonovision says – reply to this


      5

      OMG I am not 1st. Get a life suckers.

    6. I love PEREZ says – reply to this


      6

      FIRST

    7. yo says – reply to this


      7

      wow

    8. dolly says – reply to this


      8

      first!

    9. JEff says – reply to this


      9

      First?

    10. PJs Mommy says – reply to this


      10

      THIS BITCH IS A SKANK

    11. chynadoll says – reply to this


      11

      top 10!!!

    12. caitlyn says – reply to this


      12

      aww, poor lauren

    13. kj says – reply to this


      13

      i hate her passionately

    14. Linh says – reply to this


      14

      her style always sucked

    15. toni says – reply to this


      15

      1stt,,,

    16. Trisha says – reply to this


      16

      Does anyone actually care about her anymore?

    17. one says – reply to this


      17

      #1

    18. toni says – reply to this


      18

      1st

    19. alibob says – reply to this


      19

      first!

    20. LAUREN CONRAD IS A TALENTLESS FAMEWHORE says – reply to this


      20

      gahhhh she gets on my nerves

    21. dcvjdjh says – reply to this


      21

      wow

    22. Katie says – reply to this


      22

      first. i like her clothing line.

    23. Steph says – reply to this


      23

      Lame

    24. Eve says – reply to this


      24

      first

    25. BRITNEY LOVER says – reply to this


      25

      estupido?

    26. chyeah says – reply to this


      26

      sadddd

    27. angela l says – reply to this


      27

      1

    28. me says – reply to this


      28

      poor lauren :( !
      her dream has been crushed
      who cares? we need more bitch fight!

    29. angeline says – reply to this


      29

      too long to read

    30. ... says – reply to this


      30

      who frickin cares about this talentless girl? seriously

    31. :)love says – reply to this


      31

      first

    32. lola says – reply to this


      32

      FIRST!!! her clothes suck…shes a media whore with no talent *yet*…
      shes too young and quite frankly, she lives in a dream world aka LA

    33. Stoots says – reply to this


      33

      AAAWWW! thats so sad! Tear!

    34. DB says – reply to this


      34

      LOL.

    35. FUCK PFF says – reply to this


      35

      Re: angeline – I AGREE…COULD SOMEONE SUMMARIZE IT..LOL

    36. Nanna says – reply to this


      36

      She has lost a lot of weight. She looks gorgeous :)

    37. bathog says – reply to this


      37

      nice purse

    38. david says – reply to this


      38

      that's what happens when you try to do things that's out of your league

    39. ppb says – reply to this


      39

      thats so sad its funny. i like her but stick to tv.
      Biyatch

    40. liz says – reply to this


      40

      Who the fuck cares?Not me…But I had nothing better to do before my date and read this shit,,I hope to fuck I don't mention that I read this to anyone…

    41. pas says – reply to this


      41

      oh snap!

    42. QueenBee says – reply to this


      42

      LA FASHION WEEK IS A JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      LAUREN CONRAD IS A JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      and anyone who buys her cheap ugly looking clothes are A BIGGER JOKE

    43. zzz says – reply to this


      43

      OMG!
      ahahaha that is WAAAAY OOO!

      lauren must be seething right now.

    44. J says – reply to this


      44

      Perez, you should credit the gofugyourself girls for this article…..or nymag at least…

    45. ashley says – reply to this


      45

      first!!

    46. GOMER says – reply to this


      46

      who the fuck is she?

    47. zzz says – reply to this


      47

      honestly tho, Heidi's line looks so much better. i actually like some of her clothes. Whitney's one sounds interesting, cocktail dresses etc. wltc

    48. HACK says – reply to this


      48

      how dare you steal this from the 'Go fug yourself' girls without permission- wanker

    49. me says – reply to this


      49

      The Hills is the worst show I've ever watched. That's all I've got to say

    50. nerf says – reply to this


      50

      I read this like a week ago.
      Keep up, tubby!

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

      HEIDI MONTAG HEIDI MONTAG

    51. Qat says – reply to this


      51

      Ugh, her hair looks so ugly and broke in that picture. Just because you can put together other people clothing nice doesn't mean you can design shit for yourself dumb bitch. I cannot stand that dumb show with ugly PUPILS AT THE TOP OF HER EYES Audrina with her ugly rat teeth, plain looking Whitney, and HORSEFACE Heidi!!

      It it me or when Heidi came back from having all that surgery Spencer looked different too? I swear he looks different?

    52. ~~ says – reply to this


      52

      That just shows that non-designers shouldn't try to be designers. Go and find something you're good at.

    53. Marie says – reply to this


      53

      Thats from gofugyourself.com! I love them!

    54. lauren says – reply to this


      54

      wow she looks thinner but in a good way

    55. JM says – reply to this


      55

      WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS BITCHES PORN TAPE???

      JASON NAKED HER NAKED WE ALL KNOW WE WANT TO SEE THEM FUCKING!

      SHE NEEDS TO GET HERSELF BACK TO REAL LIFE, THIS HOLE IM A CELEBRITY THING IS FACK AS FUCK.

      TRUTH.

    56. kay says – reply to this


      56

      20th?

    57. ssssss says – reply to this


      57

      she looks thinner than ever. too thin?

    58. *** says – reply to this


      58

      WHO CARES WHAT SOME JEALOUS BITCH SAYS ABOUT HER LINE…HER JOB IS TO CRITIQUE THE LINE AND SHE WROTE THIS TO MAKE PEOPLE READ IT. OBVIOUSLY IT WORKED. BEING A HATER MAKES PEOPLE READ

    59. sOUL says – reply to this


      59

      this person just wrote what they thought people wanted to hear. what a bitch. i was there and i thought she was greatly exagerating. the clothes looked great

    60. madge says – reply to this


      60

      I totally thought that was Nicole Richie. Sorry L.C.

    61. Maisie says – reply to this


      61

      I love the writing in this article. It's smart, wity, detailed and….TRUE. Lauren can try all she wants for a respectable clothing line, but let's face it, it won't get anywhere past MTV. They probably had a BIG part in getting her this gig at fashion week. Good luck with the next one.

    62. jaimeee says – reply to this


      62

      Re: ssssss – SHE IS THIN!!! i saw her yesterday when this picture was taken…like 2 ft away from her and she is TINY..she must be only like 5'2 or 5'3

    63. lol says – reply to this


      63

      who wrote this perez!! i needs to know! lol this was sad and funny! and im a total conrad fan ! i live for the drama !

    64. Elise says – reply to this


      64

      The only thing I have to say about this entire article is… duh?

    65. nikki says – reply to this


      65

      Perez, you could at least say where the article came from! give us the source of the article!

    66. ashley says – reply to this


      66

      This use to be my favorite show, but now… the drama is so stupid. Why does anyone even give a fuck anymore.

    67. Gee says – reply to this


      67

      Stool

    68. Maggles says – reply to this


      68

      Re: nikki – UM DUH. Click on the title of the article and it takes you to newyorkmag. C'mon now.

    69. LR says – reply to this


      69

      wow, way to show your sources. this article was written by the lovely ladies at gofugyourself.com for New York Magazine. Give them some cred!!!!!!!

    70. mc says – reply to this


      70

      why did i even waste my time reading this.? who the hell cares!?

      damn i feel stupid! lol

    71. Jako says – reply to this


      71

      That's too much shit to read. I lost interest after the first paragraph…

    72. Roz says – reply to this


      72

      Im sorry for LC cause i love her but she didnt have fashion taste to desing…..her desings for me are very poorly

    73. Sarah says – reply to this


      73

      This article is written by the fug girls, gofugyourself.com

      Perez seems to find a lot of inspiration there, with the newer voting polls and random fashion posts

      Funny site (gfy, not perez)

    74. Kari says – reply to this


      74

      http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2008/03/inside_the_sad_bizarre_world_t.html i actually like the middle shirt n the last :S

    75. NYC says – reply to this


      75

      ((yawn))
      like were they even expecting it to be any good?
      lauren is so desperate…

    76. LL says – reply to this


      76

      The real question is.. "Would Lauren even wear her line??" You see her out in nice preppy style clothing that looks extremely expensive. Yet, her fashion line appears cheaper than something that you would get at Walmart. The prices for a plain white cotton dress is $185, that is literally a big piece of white frabic draped around a girl.. I don't even sew and I could make that for less than $5. There is nothing inspiring about this line or even interesting about it. The people wasting their money on this must be rich because I could get an entire new wardrobe from Forever21 which seems to have better quality clothes then the LC line, or I could just buy a freakin cotton shirt from LC for $150. It's a joke, shes dissapointing all of her "younger" fans who can't afford the cheap $hit that she makes! I didn't even go to fashion school and I could come up with wayyyyy better designs!!!! I bet Kristen went to her show just for a good laugh!!! Seriously, if you do like her designs then visit forever21.com or Walmart.com because I guarantee you that you will find something similar and better for less than $20!!!!!!!

    77. Amanda says – reply to this


      77

      God, Wat did she do to her hair???
      Ewww.

    78. Tee says – reply to this


      78

      That what she get for thinking that she can come out with a line (being a nobody)and charging people so much money for a freakin dress. Well better luck next time!!!

    79. jackie says – reply to this


      79

      Now I see why perez didnt' let us know the source. thanks to the people who let it be known that its gofugyourself, i'm on their site and they are indeed funny, so looks like perez is trying to minimize the competition

    80. Candice says – reply to this


      80

      That is quite possibly one of the best articles i've read over the past year

    81. Cara says – reply to this


      81

      Haha, great review. It's not surprising at all that her collection blowed.

    82. WHO WROTE THIS says – reply to this


      82

      WHO WROTE THIS

      CITE YOUR SOURCES

      lame

    83. MoMo says – reply to this


      83

      Damn!! She must feel like such an ass. Heidi shouldn't feel any better…her clothes look like they're make for teenage wannabe strippers!

    84. becca says – reply to this


      84

      i dont think lauren even knows how to design and construct clothes, she hasn't even graduated from FIDM yet!

    85. megan michele says – reply to this


      85

      poor lauren.
      i heart her.

      um, i think there should be pics of BRODY!
      mmmm.

    86. Stephanie says – reply to this


      86

      Some of the clothes were cute. However,kind of all look alike, very loose fitting and baggy. Whatever, for 22, she is doing well for herself.

    87. pregnant wench says – reply to this


      87

      this is too funny

    88. bree says – reply to this


      88

      aww that sounds terrible..

    89. lala says – reply to this


      89

      i dont believe her show is really REALITY, but she has a cute fun flirty line, i would wear it.

    90. ange says – reply to this


      90

      Who or what wrote that load of pretentious bollocks?

    91. Shan says – reply to this


      91

      I can't stand this fucking bitch. I'd love to see this whore spend one day trying to make it in the real world..no not that show on MTV but real life like the rest of us do. Now that's a show I'd watch!!

    92. Yo says – reply to this


      92

      this article is stupid. People are just giving her a hard time because of who she is. Why would she suddenly come out with cocktail dresses when that is not what her line is like? Her line is (and has always been) made of fine jersey and nice cotton blends. I actually saw the show (in person) and must say that the material did not look cheap. Sure you can get similar things elsewhere, but they'll look cheaper. I wouldn't expect a denim line to completely change what they are because of it's inspiration. It's going to still be denim! Apart from this, most reviews have been pretty good. I've also seen in an article that this will not be featured on the show, because it's something personal to her. Everyone that was there was there to support, and because they're her friends. NOT because it'll be featured on the Hills and be the next drama-filled episode. If american apparel had a french insprired show, i guarantee you wouldn't suddenly see cocktail dresses. I'm sorry, but that was a bunch of journalistic vomit. Let me also say, that it's not always important to have celebrities at your show. BUYERS are very important. It's where the money is. And i must say, the house was packed. It was like a flippin' sauna.

    93. leah says – reply to this


      93

      WOW! that is some bad review!

      what sucks more: Lauren's attempt at fashion or Heidi's attempt at music?

    94. nadia says – reply to this


      94

      honestly, her fasion line seems contrived. This is an impecable review.

    95. nic says – reply to this


      95

      Leave the poor girl alone for fucks sake

    96. juniper says – reply to this


      96

      Shame on you Perez for not citing my favorite Fug girls.

      gofugyourself.typepad.com

      Go to their site and enjoy some intelligent, hilarious writing.

    97. BrittenFabulous says – reply to this


      97

      Annoying. Pointless. Talentless.
      Welcome to the Lauren Conrad show!

    98. jessica says – reply to this


      98

      but who wrote this article??? should you quote a source? I am not understanding what is happening with you. I feel that you are half assing your site to pursue other things, w/c is fine, just employ someone in your place.

    99. kay says – reply to this


      99

      This writer needs to hurry up and get to the freakin' point. This article was pointless and all over the place..now HE NEEDS TO GO BACK TO JOURNALISM CLASS!

    100. Layla says – reply to this


      100

      AMAZING….I love this writer, they wrote with such wit and sarcasm.

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