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What's He Smoking????

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He's trying to get deep.

John Mayer loves to post on his blog.

His entries are usually funny, but his most recent one is rambling and self-indulgent.

If you make it through to the end, you get a cookie!

P.S. He's totally talking about us.

Shut your piehole, John, or we'll have to tell the world what happened that night at Stereo!

Says Mayer:

"FROM THE HEART….

I need to write this.

I've been traveling alone in Japan for the better part of three weeks now, and It's been so remarkable an experience for me that I can't book a ticket home yet. I haven't spoken very much out loud these days, but I've been thinking to myself in what feels like surround sound. I can see so many things clearly, and feel so connected to myself and the world around me that I need to share the perspective with you.

I'm already aware that when I sing, say or write anything, 50 percent of the response will be in support of it and the other 50 will want to discount it. This blog, though, is directed to 100 percent of people reading it. If my blog truly does have any cultural effect, then it should be used for more than just pictures of sneakers and funny youtube videos. (If you don't think my blog has any effect, than you can't by definition be reading this right now and therefore don't have to respond to it in any way. Isn't that tidy?)

What I'm about to write isn't about fame or success or celebrity or the media. That's my business.

This is about us all.

This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.

This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me."

This is about the person trying out for American Idol, who while going off about how confident they are that they were born ready to sing in front of the world, are trembling so badly they can hardly breathe.

This is about me, the guy who walks through a throng of photographers into a restaurant like he's Paul Newman, but who leaves a "reject" pile of clothes in his closet so high that his cleaning lady can't figure out how one man can step into so many pairs of pants in a week.

This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man.

This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that.

I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.

And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.

What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.

Root for others.

Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.

Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.

And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.

I'm going quiet now.

John"

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

    Posted: Mar 27, 2008 at 3:58 pm / Email this  »
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    758 comments to “What's He Smoking????”

    More comments: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 »

    1. h says – reply to this


      1

      1st

    2. vivan says – reply to this


      2

      first bitches!!!!

    3. EMILY says – reply to this


      3

      FIRST

    4. vivan says – reply to this


      4

      man h you beat me!!!

    5. Emma says – reply to this


      5

      tvåa!

    6. Charlotte says – reply to this


      6

      1st hehe always wanted to do that :)

    7. Lucy says – reply to this


      7

      1st?

    8. MvS says – reply to this


      8

      FIRST!

    9. Boobby says – reply to this


      9

      What?

    10. Lucy says – reply to this


      10

      Damn, foiled again! ;>

    11. lala says – reply to this


      11

      he's so lame

    12. Maruchenga says – reply to this


      12

      first im first? bitches. i love you Tediosa HILton

    13. MONIQUE says – reply to this


      13

      DAAMN.

    14. ge says – reply to this


      14

      i agree. 100%! perez sucks dick for coke

    15. cookie says – reply to this


      15

      i've read it, where's my cookie

    16. alene says – reply to this


      16

      what happened at stereo?

    17. Gypsytrill says – reply to this


      17

      Well, he kind of cracks on you in there, Perezito. And while I generally do not like self-absorbed people (although he does get points for having peed on Chestica) some of what he writes is truthful albeit full of pain.

    18. molly says – reply to this


      18

      Aww Perez, he's talking about you!

    19. Vixn says – reply to this


      19

      Wow….Deep

    20. s says – reply to this


      20

      12th

    21. Lisa says – reply to this


      21

      John Mayer is brilliant. I want to marry him.

      Perez, you didn't even mention the obvious throw to you in it.

      He's right, though. Everyone is so self-conscious these days. Does anyone do anything strictly for themselves these days? It's all about other people's reactions. It's sad. (I can't say much. I'm terrible with caring what others think).

      Anyway, my point is I LOVE THAT MAN.

    22. JodiOnline says – reply to this


      22

      Publicity whore who's milking it. Perez…it's GREAT that he's talking about you!

      xoxo

    23. M says – reply to this


      23

      Ummm I think he may be referring to you, Perez. I love him, so very much.

    24. alicia says – reply to this


      24

      i love john mayer

    25. paige says – reply to this


      25

      l loved that.
      .
      .
      I always thought (and still do) that he was a giant douchebag, but I really did love that.
      .
      .
      I very often feel the exact same way.

    26. ashley says – reply to this


      26

      "This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man."

      HA

    27. Baron says – reply to this


      27

      First!

    28. dana! says – reply to this


      28

      2nd, is he really?

    29. Lola says – reply to this


      29

      9th ………….hahahahahaha

    30. why not? says – reply to this


      30

      i think he's on to something.
      eloquent.

    31. mica says – reply to this


      31

      cookie time:0

    32. Sarah says – reply to this


      32

      :o First?

    33. ya Digg says – reply to this


      33

      FIRST BITCHES

    34. Kathy says – reply to this


      34

      I liked what he had to say. He is getting closer to a truth that you may not want to hear.

    35. kweth says – reply to this


      35

      first. this was amazing, sorry perez lol. normally johnny boy is just kinda whiney, but at times he speaks some smart stuff. though i don't think you are necessarily as lame as he makes you lol. go john lol.

    36. dk says – reply to this


      36

      First! :)

    37. S says – reply to this


      37

      That was a GREAT blog. Stop making fun Perez! There is so much truth in that.

    38. nizzle says – reply to this


      38

      "This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man."

    39. Lola says – reply to this


      39

      ……..poop…… people order our pattys…….

    40. Lisa says – reply to this


      40

      Oh, I see you noticed your mention.
      You two should date. And by you two, I mean me and John.

    41. AG says – reply to this


      41

      I actually think its pretty insightful. You could learn something from him.

    42. Liaa says – reply to this


      42

      Firstttt!

    43. Kelly says – reply to this


      43

      he's so real…he's so deep. wow…

    44. L says – reply to this


      44

      he nailed it.

    45. shay says – reply to this


      45

      ha ha - nice face!

    46. hollaaa says – reply to this


      46

      hmm.. is he trying to be deep or something?

    47. keight says – reply to this


      47

      it's a tough realization to come to but he nailed it. well said!

    48. Freddie says – reply to this


      48

      Actually its about him… think about it.

    49. Lo says – reply to this


      49

      Perez look a little closer it's not just about YOU - he is wise beyond his years, our society is completely fucked up these days. Yay John! You speak the truth. Will you create your own religion? I'll follow you.

    50. Hubris says – reply to this


      50

      You know, I've always thought this guy's voice is annoying…his music bores me to tears. But this blog post actually seems like a pretty eloquent statement on vulnerability, accessibility, and celebrity culture. It doesn't read like an attack, rather as an inclusion. If I can be this kind about a pop star who actually makes me want to vomit, why can't you?

    51. MNN says – reply to this


      51

      I think he IS deep, abut you rather tear him down than aknowledge that he is right and YOU are in that list.

    52. Lola says – reply to this


      52

      Someone should put you in a box floating down the river OLD LADY

    53. pammy says – reply to this


      53

      Wow, John had 'a moment'..

    54. wow says – reply to this


      54

      i dunno about all of you guys but this was actually inspiring.
      read it till the end, perez you owe me a cookie.

    55. unknown says – reply to this


      55

      1st

    56. Cassie says – reply to this


      56

      I feel I should have understood that. :)

    57. WOOOT says – reply to this


      57

      AGREED. MORE OR LESS:) GOOD FOR HIM!
      FINALLY SOMEONE WITH SOME SORT OF MORALS. AND A BRAIN.. HEH

    58. Kristen in Colorado says – reply to this


      58

      Bummer. I don't get a cookie.

    59. Lindsey says – reply to this


      59

      Your so vain…bet you think this blog is about you

    60. kel says – reply to this


      60

      Oooh Perez! He cares about you!!!

    61. MIKE says – reply to this


      61

      aWW..is he talking about you or every other blogger? Is there a straight one? If so, what is the site? It's not always about you….

    62. J Bro says – reply to this


      62

      Yeah it's a bit long. And the beginning sounds a little kooky. And that one part IS definitely about Perez. But when he gets to his point, it's a pretty genuine point.

    63. D FLAT MINOR CHORD says – reply to this


      63

      THANK GOD FINALLY A CELEBRITY TELLS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT THAT STUPID FAT DISTURBING MORON THAT PEREZ IS… YOU ROCK MAYER, YOU'RE NOT SCARED OF THAT ULGY DICK LOVING FUCKER, DON'T BE ASHAMED OF TELLING WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT PEREZITE, THE HARASSING WEIRDO

    64. mir says – reply to this


      64

      I love Him.
      And what happened at stereo?

    65. emily says – reply to this


      65

      Perez - I don't think you should shit on this. Maybe read it again. It says something. For once someone isn't writing bullshit, they're actually writing something introspective. and all you have to say is "whats he smoking?" come on. Maybe we should take a minute to think about what he's saying instead of immediately jumping to judge (cause I think thats what he's talking about.) Love you Perez, but take a minute to think before you take offense to something that was not really meant to be offensive but insightful.

    66. Kelli says – reply to this


      66

      I like what John has to say. He conveys his thoughts well and his blogs make me think a bit…

    67. Lola says – reply to this


      67

      Im plankton you old hag- and your son smells like boogers.

    68. Shut Up Mayonnaise says – reply to this


      68

      He's going quiet now….

      Well, he's an artist. After all, he dated Jessucka Simpson. He knows all.

    69. melissa says – reply to this


      69

      ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

    70. John says – reply to this


      70

      heheheheh i'm 9th!

    71. Sweetiepie says – reply to this


      71

      It's a well-written blog, and he's right on all accounts.

    72. goldie says – reply to this


      72

      Go get laid Mayer…you seem lonely

    73. suzanne says – reply to this


      73

      wow, that was really good, I loved it. he's so intellectual. I am pretty sure I want to marry him :) , he's smart, funny, and sings so well. I am in love. Call me John lol.

    74. munch says – reply to this


      74

      FUCK WHO CAN READ ALL THAT SHIT. I read one sentence and got bored.

    75. bored says – reply to this


      75

      that was gay……….and perez u owe me like 10 cookies for having to sit there and read that stupid shit

    76. Juice Tuna says – reply to this


      76

      Well said!

    77. ME says – reply to this


      77

      FIRST! OK THAT WAS DEEP NOW WHERE'S MY COOKIE?

    78. Li says – reply to this


      78

      I dkno, I think it's kinda insightful Perez…

    79. k says – reply to this


      79

      are you KIDDING ME?? Oh poor John…he has SUCH a hard life boo FUCKING hoo…give me a break!! Switch places with one of us average people for one day and see how it is to really struggle you overpaid whining bitch!

    80. YIKES says – reply to this


      80

      EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW what's ON HIS TONGUE???

    81. Andy says – reply to this


      81

      Where's my cookie?

    82. Lola says – reply to this


      82

      poop……people order our pattys.

    83. GG says – reply to this


      83

      Piss his pants?

    84. S. says – reply to this


      84

      I get a cookie. I also got a lot out of it. I think what he wrote makes sense. Thanks for posting that, Perez. Good food for thought. Thanks also for your steller site — if my boss knew how much time I spent on here…

    85. k says – reply to this


      85

      Quite valid

    86. aneurysm says – reply to this


      86

      love everything he had to say but this, "I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was.". i hope he was kidding w/ that bit.

    87. MC says – reply to this


      87

      Only intellectuals can relate to what he wrote…
      He's talking about acceptance of who you TRULY are and not pretend to be…

    88. Jellus Bitches says – reply to this


      88

      Stop yer whining. He's talented.

    89. D FLAT MINOR CHORD says – reply to this


      89

      THANK GOD FINALLY A CELEBRITY TELLS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT THAT STUPID FAT DISTURBING MORON THAT PEREZ IS… YOU ROCK MAYER, YOU'RE NOT SCARED OF THAT ULGY D1CK LOVING SUCKER, DON'T BE ASHAMED OF TELLING WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT PAREZITE, THE HARASSING WEIRDO

    90. D says – reply to this


      90

      I think that's kinda nice.

    91. R. says – reply to this


      91

      I think its a beautiful piece. John Mayer has always had a way with words. I'm a huge fan of just about everything he has ever done. Cudos.

    92. fghjgf says – reply to this


      92

      i tought it was amazing. totally right about everything.

    93. Jordan says – reply to this


      93

      Perez, you are so dense, stick to project runway and drinking with girls.

    94. alice says – reply to this


      94

      Oh come on, this is a pretty good blog….

    95. dani says – reply to this


      95

      I think that Mayer's point is very insightful and cool. That doesn't mean that reading celebrity gossip makes me a less intelligent person, but it puts things into greater perspective.
      I love you Perez, just keep doing what your doing as well.

    96. Yup, that's you says – reply to this


      96

      He nailed you to a tee. Really like the way he touched on American culture. Articulating via bad language and verbal abuse is so vogue. Mean spirited gossip and disrespect. The over-styled vanity, lack of spontaneity and lack of originality. Everybody's a porn star ! Wow. So glib.

    97. Lola says – reply to this


      97

      Yep like that

    98. nix says – reply to this


      98

      Loved every bit of it. Kudos.

    99. lauren says – reply to this


      99

      fuck yeah, john. perez hates himself, we all know it…and its amazingly entertaining.

    100. Megan says – reply to this


      100

      I think that was the most meaningful thing I've read in a long time. As much as I love this website, finally a story that really means something. John Mayer is so intelligent. It makes me see him not as a "star" but as a person. It is so true, we are all hiding from who we truly are. Hes amazing and now I respect him so much! That is what a "star" should be.

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