This Is Not A Joke
Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True
Police in Kinshasa, Congo, have arrested 13 suspected "sorcerers" of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises, after a wave of panic arose and attempted lynchings which were triggered by the witchcraft.
For reals, y'all!
Reuters is reporting it!
Reports of snatching penises is not uncommon in West Africa, where there's still a strong belief in traditional religions and witchcraft. There are often ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts.
Some residents accuse a separatist sect from Bas-Congo of being behind the penis robberies in revenge for a recent crackdown of its members by the government.
Penis robberies!!!!!
Rumors of the penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa. Citizens were calling in to radio talk shows to seek advise. Citizens were told to beware of passengers next to them in public transportation, wearing gold rings.
Somebody's gonna snatch your cock on the metro!
There are supposedly 14 victims so far who claim that the sorcerers touched them, and their penises shrunk or disappeared! They claim it is an attempt to extort cash in return for a cure.
Uhm, right.
Local police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, said in a recent interview, "You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. You see them covered in marks after being beaten."
Oleko continued, "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke, but when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'."
Apparently, something similar happed over 10 years ago in Ghana, when 12 suspected penis robbers were beaten to death by angry mobs.
But residents are still claiming it's real. Alain Kalala, a local citizen, said "It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny."
Unless it was tiny to begin with?
[Image via WENN.]
First!
sdfkjd;klafjdsflksj Fist?
Yeah, I'm West African. It does happen!! This is for real!!
first…poop.
again. who cares. make more i hate miley blogs :]
hahah sorcerers lol
12th
tryin to be 1st
now thats a secret power id like to have… just image ladies all the idoits youve ever dated apoof its shrunken or missing??? LOL LOVES IT! =)
ouch!
FIRST ?
Bush?
First! Maybe they took Bonaduce's wee wee?
first
10TH!!!
Hey perez..maybe you should contact your local botanica and do a weight loss candle!
Wow…what the hell kind of drugs are these fools smoking!? lol
20th???!!! I HATE BUSH AND MCCAIN AND HILLARY
LOVEEEE OBAMA and ROn Paul
what does a picture of George W. Bush have to do with this story? You're such a fat ass - I hate you anymore!
close to first.. bush is crazy.. cant wait for someone to come along and clean up after him!
Guess they better keep the wammy away from you perez!!! You can't afford to go any smaller!! All's you'll have left is an inny!!!
close to first..
Wow!!! Really ridiculous. A modern day witch hunt!!!!
first
what the hell? thats just weird.
second
guess u r safe perez. i heard they only wanted big ones.
and G.W.B. has what to do with this ?
I'D LIKE TO SEE SOME BEFORE & AFTER PICS
I like fat guys w/ little weiners. Hilary understands. I can see it now, Perez's teenie weenie in a little bun w/ some hot sauce. Mui caliente!! Wait, anybody got tweezers?
thats the weirdest thing ever, perez
that's some crazy shit
Run men run!! Cover your man jewels!!
oh….
SO WHY THE GW PIC?????
Yeah I heard of shit like that… evil mother fuckers like that do exist and all I know is KARMA will fuck them in the ass (not in a good way) for messing with shit like that
lord, thats nasty…
and all of u losers out there stop posting that u are first…whats with that-…u dont get an award for it
Fuck you Perez!! President Bush is so above you.
George W's picture is on their because he is a perfect exxample of a DICK
why president Bush on the pic?
IT WASN'T THE STEROIDS THAT SHRUNK MY ONE-EYED MONSTER BUT THOSE DAMN SORCERERS FROM WEST AFRICA. THEY ALSO PUT A HEX ON MY MARRIAGE TO GRETCHEN TOO ….. SHE HATED MY LITTLE PECKER!
I think it's just an excuse for guys…who need to compensate.
It's called Koro, or Genital Retraction Syndrome. It's a psychiatric condition that can be treated with anti-anxiety meds.
perez… come on. the congo is NOT in west africa.
Re: debbie – HE'S THE BIGGEST DICK IN AMERICA!
What does this have to do with George Bush??? The website is sooooooooo LAME. There's never anything on here that's even interesting.
thats bullshit.
they were tiny to begin with.
would had been funnier if you had a picture of either Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton.
i could only hope my ex gets in "touch" with one of this guys lol
Oh my God! this is so Freudian!!!
Re: Danny C – SEE #46
And people wonder why nobody cares about these 3rd world shytholes. What a bunch of effing retards. Witches? Sorcerers? Why is it that some cultures are stuck in a 7th century mentality and we are forced to provide aid to a population that can provide nothing in return? These people that think mutilating a womens genitals, or raping babies to cure their butt flu, or going on machette attacks. Kill them all and lets start over. They are too stupid to occupy space and they will never change.
LOL sooo funny in a way
i was born there and some ppl in my family do it, i do not kno y this humors perez, lots of ppl die because they do this voodoo and they kill hundreds of innocent ppl, if u kno ppl who do this only God can protect u because those who do it use satanic powers. BE CAREFUL
Madonna was the first one I heard talk about witchcraft in Africa in her recent interviews, I didnt realize it was so relevant still in the world.
And you put the President of the United States up there for that article? That is beyond disrespectful- even if you don't care for your president, he is STILL the President. Voted in. That isn't even witty and it is beneath you, Perez. Didn't you take enough world history and government at NYU to at least come away with respect for what the job takes? Why didn't you put a picture of Mr Treason- Jimmy Carter- up there? Like Gore, even his own state didn't vote for him.
Re: Frag The Paps – OH PLEASE! AMERICA JUST WENT APE SHIT OVER THE POPE! AND THE BILLIONS OF $ THEY "EXTORT" FROM THE FAITHFUL. SAME THING, DIFFERENT CULTURE.
Re: african witchcraft is NOT a joke – YOU'RE the joke!
My ex-boyfriend will be happy to have an explanation now…haha!
Re: EDGE –
Your a moron, Obama is going to screw this country over.
this bitch did witch craft to me a year ago. She paid $3000 to put some curse on me. I nearly died. I was so freaking sick i did not have strength to get up in the morning. This was over some stupid guy. Dont worry that BITCH will one day get hers. KARMA…….However, i do not have guts to do the same to her. I don't get why some people are so EVIL……
As an American citizen living in Ghana, married to Ghanaian, I can tell you that nothing of the sort has happened in the time I've lived here. Also, my husband, 29 years, has never heard of such a thing. If it is happening, it's happening in the bush or north where many people of the last generation didn't attend grade school. (We live in the capitol city, Accra.) You can blame this on a lack of education. I know this story was just a "bizarre but true" posting but I can't stand to see another nation's rich cultural history exploited for a laugh. And, by the way, I am not a geography student but I don't consider the Congo to be in West Africa.
Somebody's gonna snatch your cock on the metro!
Best line ever!!!
This must be made into a movie title.
this is why africa is still a third world country living the dark ages. can't angelina jolie donate some books on biology and anatomy?
How are they any crazier that you idiots that believe some dip shit was nailed to a cross, then rose from the dead and went to heaven where he is involved in the fate of every living thing on earth….talk about fucking idiots.
Perez, what does George bush have to do with this story?
perez…why do you post things like this? this is what gives africa a reputation as a backwards place. MOST OF AFRICA IS NOT LIKE THIS. you make it seem like this is common because it also happened 10 YEARS AGO in ghana. let me tell you that i lived in ghana for a while and every single ghanaian i know is either christian or muslim.
it is horrible the way that western media portrays africa. they have universities, and cars, and roads, and night clubs, and church. yes there is poverty there, but there is so much more. i felt much safer (even as a white girl) in ghana than i have in the US. most of the people i met there were very peaceful and friendly. there are weird things that happen here too (like the cult in TX where 14 year old girls are forced to have sex with 50 year old men). so don't go perpetuating this stereotype of africa. it is the largest continent on earth and just because there are a few weirdos it does not mean that everyone there is like that.
A bunch of black guys got their dicks shrunk? So, are they only like 9 inches now?
Just one question Perez…why the FUCK do you have Bush's picture there? KNOCK IT OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF…
Here's some "advise," hire an editor, douchebag!
if a sorcerer touched mine it would certainly shrink to a costanza.
thats like whoa. Sounds crazythe but never know what might happen the way the world is.
Perez, the Democratic Republic of Congo is not in West Africa. It's in the south. Please do fact checking before you put out these stories.
where do i sign up
Was one of them David Blaine? He'll do anything for publicity.
My mom was born in Kinshasa, Congo before it got all crazy and stuff. She had an amazing childhood there. My uncles were born there too because my grandparents were missionaries there for 35 years.
PEREZ,
CONGO IS NOT IN WEST AFRICA!
with all due respect.
do your homework or read a map.
you're a good guy.
love,
ant
Re: Bella – #46
Let's keep pouring millions of dollars in development aid to Africa…obviously, it's really working wonders. After 50 years, these people are still savages.
By the way, why is Bush's picture on this story?!
Perrrrrrrrrrrr-fect cover for the pencil-dicks of the world. "I was HUGE before the black magic came!" Yeah, right.
Perez you idiot, Congo is not in West Africa. Its actually about 5 countries to the south of west africa.
Re: lynda –
Asia is the largest continent you dipshit, go take a fucking geography class.
Re: #46 – Oh, that's mature. Atleast he's not stupid enough to want to pull out of Iraq, can you say hello bombs?
Just curious WTH this has to do with President Bush?
As allegedly "natural" male inhancement pill sales skyrocket in West Africa…
Okay number one, it was probably small to begin with, they probably found out most black guys are supposed to have big dicks, came after the guys who did and said "hey you bastard you stole my willie!!!"… lynchings proceeded because they can't think of a more creative way to kill people… lame.
Not like I care though, with all them scammers from West Africa… I hope they get their supposed manhood stolen… fuckers deserve it!
Okay Perez. We get it. You don't like President Bush.
Oh, this explains Jeremy Pivens…..ew bummer.
can someone tell me why our president's picture is attached to this piece?
yep not really news for the Congo it's been going on for years……FYI the real news from Congo is that 5,000.000 people have died in an ongoing civil war.
Peace for Africa NOW
shut up all ya jealous small pricks! i know for a fact that latinos have small to average size dicks. and thats why i so heart black guys! lets just say they really fill you up ;>
it's totally true that "once you go black, you'll never go back"!