In Celebration Of Mariah's Wedding

The legendary Jackie Beat has done a parody of Mimi's Touch My Body called "Retouch My Body."

It's an instant classic!

Enjoy (lyrics and song below).

Jackie Beat, still young and sweet!
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah…

You know I’m gettin’ older
And I’ve gained some weight, too
In my imagination I am just 22
I’m way too busy to do Jenny, Weight Watchers, too
The fast food is to blame, cholesterol’s through the roof

If there's a camera up in here that’s takin’ photographs of me
Then it’s true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement right here
tellin’ you, what to do
'Cause if you run the pics you got without the use of PhotoShop
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don’t even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Stretch me some more
Take off sixty pounds
Then take off ten more
Retouch my body
Re-size my head
Clean up my skin
Please tone down the red
Retouch my body
Lipo my thighs
With your computer mouse
I’m as big as a house
Retouch my body
Remove every curve
I’m goin’ to the mall to get a soft serve

Give me a tiny waist because I eat like a slob
Remove a chin or two and how’s about a nose job?
Erase under my eyes where it is wrinkled and dark
Your resume says that you worked on Jurrasic Park

If there's a camera up in here that’s takin’ photographs of me
Then it’s true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement in blood
or else you, will get sued
Cuz if I end up on Perez, Hilton lookin’ like a lez
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don’t even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Don’t wanna look tragic
So call In-dustrial
Light & Magic
Retouch my body
Make me look lean
Like fat-ass Oprah
on O Magazine
Retouch my body
Even out my tits
And make sure that this haute couture size 2 fits
Retouch my body
Blur it some more
Come on and give me what I’m payin’ you for
Retouch my body

I just want some gummi bears, I refuse to take the stairs
Make me fuckin’ young and sweet
Get rid of my celluleet
I don’t want no photo, boy
I want an oil painting
Retouch my body

Retouch my body
Don’t cause any trouble
I am in denial
Don’t ya’ burst my bubble
Retouch my body
Just look at Madonna
In real life she looks like
An ancient iguana
Retouch my body
And if you can of course
Try to make me look
Like less of a horse
Retouch my body
I’ve no other choice
I only wish you could retouch my voice
Retouch my fuckin' body!

Posted: May 2, 2008 at 12:09 am / Email this »

See All 427 Comments

427 comments to “In Celebration Of Mariah's Wedding”

More comments: [1] 2 3 4 5 »

fsdfsd says – reply to this

1

first
Bianca says – reply to this

2

Haha. Classic.
fsdfsd says – reply to this

3

creepy
ryaninprogress says – reply to this

4

mariah is a whore.
Jessica says – reply to this

5

HAHAHAHA

THE BEST
Mimi says – reply to this

6

Wow! That was actually really good. Tons more fun then the original!!!
Darrell says – reply to this

7

That was hilarious! So hot!
simone says – reply to this

8

that was hilariously awesome and thanx for the lyrics perez cuz i was singin along
ash says – reply to this

9

first!!!
mary says – reply to this

10

haha first fucking love it
Elyse says – reply to this

11

Lame. I can't believe you endorse shit like this. I realize it's not to be taken seriously, but I saw Mariah Carey on TV last week and she looks anorexic - quite possibly skinnier than she was back in the 90's. Don't make her like Nicole Richie. Please.
PuffieFloss says – reply to this

12

Love It
haha says – reply to this

13

oh my god she looks like jeffery star! hahaha
jennif says – reply to this

14

lol, that's great. thanks perez. but: who is jackie beat and what do they do? is that them in the photo perez posted with the article?
Alisa says – reply to this

15

lmao!!! *love it*
californian says – reply to this

16

lame and cruel. and you wonder why people have eating disorders????
Sarah says – reply to this

17

OMG! SO FUNNY!

I LOVE MIMI! However, this is THE SHIT!

HA HA HA HA!
Elyse says – reply to this

18

Lame. I saw her on TV last week and she looks almost anorexic - skinnier than she ever was in the 1990s -and I'm old enough to remember. It's shit like this that turns out skeletons like Nicole Richie and Victoria Beckham.
JB says – reply to this

19

AMAZING!
Danny says – reply to this

20

hahahahahahahahaha!!!
manbert says – reply to this

21

omg first.. mad funni
DC says – reply to this

22

H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S
Brittany says – reply to this

23

HILARIOUS!!!
David says – reply to this

24

holy shit…that was amazing!! Better than the original!
bljl says – reply to this

25

hahaha
lorlennno says – reply to this

26

Amazing.
Faith says – reply to this

27

THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!!
college barbie says – reply to this

28

THAT is awesome
sweet shout out perez
jackie l says – reply to this

29

omfg hhahah i love jackie beat. so good.
heather says – reply to this

30

hahahaha I just died laughing. Much better than the original.
REZZ SEZZ says – reply to this

31

Brilliant!
My new ringtone says – reply to this

32

I love it ….
Niko says – reply to this

33

"i just want some gummi bears, i refuse to take the stairs" hahaha
iluvsnookie says – reply to this

34

Uh, lame. The more u dis Mariah, the more desperate u look.
thINK says – reply to this

35

Hilarious, I fucking love it!!! hahahah
T says – reply to this

36

Fabulous!
me says – reply to this

37

first bitches
Lauren says – reply to this

38

F-cking Brilliant. Can't wait to hear more.
rrrrrr says – reply to this

39

best thing ive heard all week!!! priceless!!!!!
Kt says – reply to this

40

omg! that was sooo good!!! i was laughing so hard!
bRITTANYYYYYYY says – reply to this

41

LOVESSSS IT!!! HAHAHHAHAH
yodawg says – reply to this

42

This is priceles…
loves it! says – reply to this

43

THAT'S THE BEST SONG EVER!!! Hahahahaaha. Very creative!
Dan says – reply to this

44

If only perez would take his own advise and lose weight…
Telling Mariah to lose weight when she is probably below a size 0!
I love you Mariah..
MIMI says – reply to this

45

WOW THAT IS ONE UGLY THING KILL IT NOW!!!
randy says – reply to this

46

THAT'S FUcKIN GENIUS!
"i just wish u could retouch my voice!!!!" LMAO!!
mardigras says – reply to this

47

A million times better than the original!! This song is actually REAL
emily says – reply to this

48

HAHAH that is hilarious. those were probably the original lyrics from her diary
FU you homo says – reply to this

49

Mariah is beautiful and skinny in real life. You on the other hand is still fat and ugly.
Mark says – reply to this

50

FUCKIN' CLASSIC
NOW YOU BITCHES DO AS I SAY
AND VOTE HILLARY!!!
YOU WANT REAL "CHANGE" THEN WE NEED A WOMAN IN OFFICE
A WO-MAN!!!
GOT IT?
THAT'S ALL
VOTE HILLARY
—
HILLARY
–
HILLARY
—
HILLARY BITCHES I SAID HILLARY
—
FUCK
–
DON'T MAKE ME CUT YOUR ASS!!!!
HILLARY!
elle says – reply to this

51

love it
"Cuz if I end up on Perez, Hilton lookin’ like a lez
I will hunt you down"
best part in this version, and the real version.
LOVE YOU PEREZ
chanti says – reply to this

52

so fucking funny
arina says – reply to this

53

Amazing!
Jessica says – reply to this

54

LMAOO GENIUS.
I've never laughed so hard before. LOVE ITTT
Molly :) says – reply to this

55

hahaha purely amazing!! and it isnt poking fun at her! It's poking fun at how he/she isnt in as great of shape as mariah!
NICO says – reply to this

56

YES!!!

That fuckn' made my day dude!! 5 Stars!!
eMg says – reply to this

57

LOL!! That was a great idea!!
Allie says – reply to this

58

that was amazing!
Jon says – reply to this

59

I love Mariah, but that song is so fuckin funny!! its right up there with oops I arted again classic
FREAKIN HILARIOUS says – reply to this

60

OMG!! LMAO!!THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER…. CANT STOP LAUGHING!!!
lilly says – reply to this

61

OMG this is too fuckin funny, way to go Jackie Beat this song kicks ass!!! They should do a remix of this, that way it can be played at the clubs. Mariah Carey sucks, and she thinks shes the bomb but really she sucks.
Paris says – reply to this

62

OMFG……. LOVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!
Heather says – reply to this

63

hilarious
Cassandra says – reply to this

64

luv it!
Charlotte says – reply to this

65

Very, very clever and funny. Sums up the whole entertainment industry farce so well. Love the make-up job.
Fabulous says – reply to this

66

Jackie Beat is fucking AWESOME! If you don't get his sense of humor….you're retarded! There is know one alive that can do a parody like he does! He's also a fabulous singer! Love you Jackie!
LA, ohio says – reply to this

67

For one, GIRL IS LOOKIN FIERCE!
And she is fucking hilarious.
Mimi is gonna be piiiiiised.

PLEASE PEREZ, HUNT DOWN PICTURES OF MIMI LOOKIN LIKE A LEZ. YOU KNOW THEY ARE OUT THERE SOMEWHERE!
Brae says – reply to this

68

Re: californian – Go shove a toothbrush down your throat you fat ass, i looooved it, soo much better than the original!!!
Seestar says – reply to this

69

My God!! This is f*cking brilliant!!! I love Jackie Beat!!!!
Nelson says – reply to this

70

Re: lilly –
Hi Lilly!
Eat shit!!!!
k...... says – reply to this

71

love love love jackie beat….
Rambova says – reply to this

72

Jackie Beat - brilliant!
ertfo1jnv5 says – reply to this

73

o35a31xznvgy1oi axzn2tbo 5wrvx14jc
your mother, obvs says – reply to this

74

A-MAZING.
1. It's oh SO! much better than the original.
2. The lyrics are actually very clever and witty.
3. SO FUNNY
4. song only half true but she deserves this anyhow.

LOVE IT!
lozer for jackie says – reply to this

75

ok im not usually a fan of stuff like this but its really funny!!!!!it was really creative and nicely put together
me says – reply to this

76

omfg that is hilarious! I am seriously crying.lol.

I don't gve a shit about Mariah but this song IS the shit! (much better than hers!)
84wnov2ugy says – reply to this

77

hiebmr8ncz 8uegiqmb7uo5hpej cdmhyoqovyf0wcl
PEREZ n MADONNA JEALOUSY says – reply to this

78

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!
.
PEREZ MUST BE PISSD says – reply to this

79

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!
..
me says – reply to this

80

Re: Elyse – Idon't think it's necesarrily mariah the song is talking about. but more the whole facade "show business" is. but she hasn't changed a bit in 20 years. ya gotta admit!
PEREZ n MADONNA JEALOUSY says – reply to this

81

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!
;'
PEREZ MUST BE PISSD says – reply to this

82

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!
,./;
Alexandra says – reply to this

83

this is the best fucking thing I've ever heard!!
it made me think of my best friend hahhaa
nathan says – reply to this

84

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha!!!!
PEREZ n MADONNA JEALOUSY says – reply to this

85

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!

PEREZ AND MADONNA ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Mariah can still have a baby but Perez will never have, and MADONNA's EGGS are already ROTTEN!!! LOL!!!
.//;[
Chip says – reply to this

86

I have Jackie Beat as a friend on MYSPACE..LOL she's Hilarious..LOL
this is real folks says – reply to this

87

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….
4 minutes to save madonna's career says – reply to this

88

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

……………….
EEEEW MADONNA FLOPS says – reply to this

89

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

…………
FLIP FLOP FLIP FLOP says – reply to this

90

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….12
I agree says – reply to this

91

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….13
LAMBS will still love her says – reply to this

92

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….14
LOL! says – reply to this

93

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….15
shame on MADONNA says – reply to this

94

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….7
this is new says – reply to this

95

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….g
i read this somewhere says – reply to this

96

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

…………………56
oh wow not even half? says – reply to this

97

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….87
this hurts says – reply to this

98

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….98
perez will be pissd on this says – reply to this

99

–MADONNA"S ALBUM IS DROPPING LIKE A STONE.

–MADONNA SOLD NOT EVEN HALF OF MARIAH"S ALBUM SALE!! (That Hurts)

–MADONNA"S WEBSITE is Posting THAT HER "4 MINUTES" SINGLE IS #1 (it's a LIE it never reaches the #1 spot! WHATTA SHAME)

–MADONNA USES "CONTROVERSY", and "OTHER BIG ARTISTS" to lift her career!!! WANT PROOF? ( Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are few from the other)

–MADONNA is paying PEREZ HILTON for her publicity

FUCK YOU MADONNA!!! RETIRE!!! ITS ONLY FIRST WEEK OF YOUR ALBUM AND ITS FLOP ALREADY!!! DIE BITCH!!!!

………………….097
wawawewo says – reply to this

100

haha way better then the original and rings more truth too! LMAO

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Gloria Estefan - Hotel Nacional

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Thank Goodness! 'Very Psychotic' Madonna Stalker Has Been Captured!!!

What a relief!

To recap - early this morning, we heard the terrifying news that 54-year-old Robert Dewey Hoskins, a man who was convicted of stalking and threatening Madonna, had escaped from a mental hospital in Norwalk, CA.

The LAPD were describing the man as follows: