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Retouch My Body: The Video

| Filed under: Mariah CareyJackie Beat

CLICK HERE to watch Jackie Beat's latest opus in full technicolor hideousness/brilliance, directed by Austin Young.

Retouch that shit now, and keep your mouth closed!

118 comments to “Retouch My Body: The Video”

More comments: [1] 2 »

  1. Mariah Carey says – reply to this


    1

    Wow. I need to hire this lady to be my double in my videos. She is so much prettier than me. I love her so much. Someone please shoot me in the throat.

  2. SAI ANGEL says – reply to this


    2

    SOON THE WORLD WILL UNITE

  3. i need a barfff bag says – reply to this


    3

    That shit was nasty!!!

  4. sfsg says – reply to this


    4

    7TH

  5. hahha says – reply to this


    5

    you tube . com/jeremimi

  6. hahahahh says – reply to this


    6

    www. you tube .com/ watch?v=PKiJMfdJrRU

  7. Deborah says – reply to this


    7

    Brilliant!! Loved it.

  8. Booya says – reply to this


    8

    Second?

  9. squid12 says – reply to this


    9

    *clap* he's brilliant..!

  10. Leo says – reply to this


    10

    WAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAHAHAHAHAHWHAHAHAGAGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH :D

  11. Babblepfish says – reply to this


    11

    LOVE IT!

  12. Lucy says – reply to this


    12

    Damn! Mariah never looked so hot *cough* ;>

  13. lilly says – reply to this


    13

    Love this song and the video. Not usually a Jackie Beat fan, but this is great :) .

  14. emma says – reply to this


    14

    absolutely hysterical. that guy has a decent voice too. he's just great. reminds me of divine.

  15. patty says – reply to this


    15

    that was some funny shit!!

  16. Chelsea says – reply to this


    16

    That was fucking awsome !! I loved it !! LOL

  17. kENT says – reply to this


    17

    MORE! MORE! I LOVE IT!

  18. ceci says – reply to this


    18

    i prefer jackie with the crazy fabulous tranny makeup

  19. NYC says – reply to this


    19

    haha. that's actually pretty hilarious.

  20. Nat says – reply to this


    20

    I LOVE it, Mariah should totally sing this!

  21. God bless the Internet! says – reply to this


    21

    Too bloody funny!

  22. yaknow says – reply to this


    22

    thats moomoo for sure! hahahaha

  23. Karla says – reply to this


    23

    OMFG… I thought this song was sooo awesome… but now that i've seen the video… i think its a big piece of SHIZZZT!!! I was expecting Jackie Beat to be in full drag and glam and glitzy!! BUT THIS IS CRAAAAAAAAAAP…..

    We need to make a redo of this video… BIG TIME!!

    i can never listen to this song the same way again….

  24. Kev says – reply to this


    24

    This is weeeeell good.

    "like fat ass oprah"

    ha!

  25. JESSIE says – reply to this


    25

    OMG………THE POWER OF MAKEUP IZ DIVINE……

  26. Karwan says – reply to this


    26

    lol… bahaha that was BRILLIANT! lol

  27. Honor says – reply to this


    27

    This is pure genius.
    Has anyone got a youtube link for the proper video? can only find ones with the song but with lyrics and such..

  28. Osman says – reply to this


    28

    I love Jackie Beat! You can check out "Filthy Whore" (Gimme More) and "Baby got Front" (obvious) on youtube! :)

  29. mikey says – reply to this


    29

    OMG LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT Y'ALL!~!!!!!!

  30. Daddy says – reply to this


    30

    thought you would appreciate this

  31. claudia says – reply to this


    31

    ahahaha that was actually quite funny, " ancient iguana" x x x

  32. Narcissistic Bitch says – reply to this


    32

    genius…I love it !!!

  33. JAQY says – reply to this


    33

    LOVES IT!! DON'T BE HATIN' PEREZ!!

  34. shmokin says – reply to this


    34

    that shit is fuckin HILARIOUS!!!!

  35. isis says – reply to this


    35

    daymn, that is hot.

  36. Fo Realz says – reply to this


    36

    And the Grammy goes to…..Miss Jackie Beat!

  37. Tanya says – reply to this


    37

    I love It!!!!!! Sooo fucking hilarious!!!

  38. ... says – reply to this


    38

    fucking hilarious!

  39. &hearts says – reply to this


    39

    megalolz

  40. Roxanne says – reply to this


    40

    I fucking love Jackie Beat and all her brilliance.

  41. tfo says – reply to this


    41

    Love it Pervez - thanks for giving me a great MOnday morning laugh. hahah

  42. Marine says – reply to this


    42

    Oh it's so good. We want more!!!!!

  43. NICO says – reply to this


    43

    Y A Y!!! JACKIE BEAT RULEZ!!! I was sooo waiting for her to come up with a video for this song. I cracked UP so much when i first heard it on here. BEAVER is hillarious too. I want her to make one for 'Private Bathroom' do any of you know if she's made one?? YouTube don't seem to have it. They have the live version :)

  44. stu says – reply to this


    44

    High Larry Us!!! But do they really do that in Hollywood?

  45. Portia666 says – reply to this


    45

    Luvs me some Austin. Work it out TranMa!!

  46. Chip says – reply to this


    46

    Girl, You so Crazy..OMG she's hilarious.

  47. LMFAO says – reply to this


    47

    :) Brilliant! :) Now these lyrics will be in mind every time I hear Mariah's dreadful song and it will make me smile :D

  48. utsy says – reply to this


    48

    I thought the song was awesome but the video is just bad…overdone , really .The one I really liked from Jackie Beat and Austin Young was BEAVER (parody of FEVER) ,PLEASZE REDO THIS VIDEO IT S A TOTAL WASTE FOR A SONG THAT S SO GREAT!!!

  49. Jake says – reply to this


    49

    I LOVE Jackie Beat. So smart and clever….

  50. Nance says – reply to this


    50

    Fucking Brillant!!!!

  51. Vadge says – reply to this


    51

    I love how the video is more of a jab at himself and Madonna, rather than Mariah. Ha! Ha! Ha!

  52. LM says – reply to this


    52

    here is the sad thing….I love this song! It is halirious!

  53. jimkhm says – reply to this


    53

    hateful beotch

  54. nobodylikesme says – reply to this


    54

    OMG!!! It's Artie Lange!!!

  55. lalee says – reply to this


    55

    Jackie!
    I love you, but you look much better with your face on. That was disturbing. But, I love the song. You are the best!!

  56. Vanity says – reply to this


    56

    Not Funny, this is stupid.

  57. Nicole says – reply to this


    57

    this is very disturbing to me. but i do love the song.

  58. stephy says – reply to this


    58

    OMFG….this was sooo stupid whoever made this video should die!!!! it f.uck!ng sucked a$$!!!!!!!!!!!

  59. ERiN says – reply to this


    59

    She's awesome. It's amazing what make-up can do!!

  60. Nelson says – reply to this


    60

    EWWWWW!!! Gross! Looks like Perez's Twin Brother in bad drag!

  61. t says – reply to this


    61

    she looked like rumer willis at the end when the wig came off

  62. Annon says – reply to this


    62

    I love Jackie Beat!!!! I even got to go shopping with her alter ego once. Sweetest person in the world!!!

  63. thomas says – reply to this


    63

    MOOMOO betta watch out!!!!! LOL!!!!!

  64. Lisa says – reply to this


    64

    I love this song! Soo true

  65. veronica lorraine. says – reply to this


    65

    awwww. Isaac Mizrahi, is that you? haha. ew.

  66. DayumThatsUgly says – reply to this


    66

    Bahahahahahahahaha!

  67. *...Criis...* says – reply to this


    67

    Jajajajajaja!!!
    Joder que puto ascooo…Ya no vuelvo al McDonalds…xDD!

  68. SanD says – reply to this


    68

    Jackie, my husband and I were fuckin laughing our asses off. Thank you.

  69. Jackie Who? says – reply to this


    69

    Jackie Bleat is a vicious kunt- but this is kinda funny.

  70. Huh? says – reply to this


    70

    Why does he always go after the mega stars? and Mariah Carey is not even fat, what are you talking about. This is just like hollywood, always calling someone fat and then when they get loose some weight then they wanna say they're too thin!

  71. Huh? says – reply to this


    71

    Why does he always go after the mega stars? and Mariah Carey is not even fat, what are you talking about. This is just like hollywood, always calling someone fat and then when they loose some weight then they wanna say they're too thin!

  72. luis says – reply to this


    72

    i hope a radio station has balls enough to play this song!

  73. AMY says – reply to this


    73

    This is brilliant!!!

  74. NOT BRILLIANT says – reply to this


    74

    I guess it's YouTube worthy!

  75. Xtina says – reply to this


    75

    THAT WAS HILARIOUS! TOTALLY TRUE TOO!!!

  76. SWF says – reply to this


    76

    that. is. amazing.

  77. fuckthatvideo says – reply to this


    77

    that is so fucking gay i like the song lol but video was hella stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

  78. FattDoll says – reply to this


    78

    Brilliance lives amongst us!!!!!!!!!

  79. sanderella says – reply to this


    79

    OMG…too funny! I love Jackie Beat!

  80. arf says – reply to this


    80

    If only Jackie Beat were as famous as Mariah Carey.
    I wanna live in that world.

  81. lefty lady says – reply to this


    81

    Hi-FUCKIN-larious! Way too much and over the top. It's perfect!

  82. haha says – reply to this


    82

    i love mariah but shit this iss too funnyy

  83. Jayme says – reply to this


    83

    That was NOT funny Just boring and a complete waste of 30 seconds of my life thank god i stopped it

  84. christina says – reply to this


    84

    that shit was so fuckin pimpin…. omfg i love it

  85. SAxlerod says – reply to this


    85

    Jackie Beat is the got damn ish! The lyrics were so on-point and the Beat sings a hell of lot better than Mimi!!!!! I enjoyed this. I can stomach this song by Jackie Beat then with the faux diva, lip synching, biological clock screaming Mimi. I also feel so sorry for her new husband, Nick. I hope he realizes that he's only there to touch and retouch Mimi's body as a sperm depositor.

  86. amy weber says – reply to this


    86

    that is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time! Perez, show more jackie!

  87. Mario says – reply to this


    87

    JACKIE BEAT RULZ!!! deal with it.

  88. billfor1stlady08 says – reply to this


    88

    lmao….i love jackie beat

  89. jessica says – reply to this


    89

    yea shes ugly

  90. grace says – reply to this


    90

    IT'S AWESOME!!!

  91. suzy says – reply to this


    91

    JACKIE BEAT IS THE M*F*ING Q U E E N ! ! !

  92. Cobra says – reply to this


    92

    THAT'S what I'm talking about!!! That was freakin' awesome. I'm off to search Google for the lyrics and forward to my coworkers. HA!!!

  93. jenbunny says – reply to this


    93

    wow. that's REALLY gay.

  94. AgAPE says – reply to this


    94

    luved da nerdy dude….kul stuff…P-)

  95. SEVYN says – reply to this


    95

    brilliant.

  96. Jesse says – reply to this


    96

    WOWWWWWWWWWWW

    I knew there was a man under that makeup but damn i didnt know he was 90 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  97. Sister Roma! says – reply to this


    97

    Jackie is the most brilliant of all the queens out there. That was hilarious. And brave - this is the first time I've seen her perform without any makeup at all! Way to go honey! XOXO

  98. citygirl101 says – reply to this


    98

    Fucking hilarious!!! Best shit I've seen yet due to the fact that I can't fucking stand Mariah-goddamn sellout. Her voice died and went to hell. As for the comment that is #1. I have something to say to that, and I quote "Someone please shoot me in the throat." I'd be glad to!

  99. balnstlsxi says – reply to this


    99

    there is nothing to say

  100. Patsy says – reply to this


    100

    this was great…I want more!!!

More comments: [1] 2 »