Retouch My Body: The Video

Filed under: Mariah Carey > Jackie Beat

CLICK HERE to watch Jackie Beat's latest opus in full technicolor hideousness/brilliance, directed by Austin Young.

Retouch that shit now, and keep your mouth closed!

Posted: May 12, 2008 at 2:15 pm / Email this »

See All 118 Comments

118 comments to “Retouch My Body: The Video”

More comments: [1] 2 »

Mariah Carey says – reply to this

1

Wow. I need to hire this lady to be my double in my videos. She is so much prettier than me. I love her so much. Someone please shoot me in the throat.
SAI ANGEL says – reply to this

2

SOON THE WORLD WILL UNITE
i need a barfff bag says – reply to this

3

That shit was nasty!!!
sfsg says – reply to this

4

7TH
hahha says – reply to this

5

you tube . com/jeremimi
hahahahh says – reply to this

6

www. you tube .com/ watch?v=PKiJMfdJrRU
Deborah says – reply to this

7

Brilliant!! Loved it.
Booya says – reply to this

8

Second?
squid12 says – reply to this

9

*clap* he's brilliant..!
Leo says – reply to this

10

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAWAHAHAHAHAHWHAHAHAGAGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Babblepfish says – reply to this

11

LOVE IT!
Lucy says – reply to this

12

Damn! Mariah never looked so hot *cough* ;>
lilly says – reply to this

13

Love this song and the video. Not usually a Jackie Beat fan, but this is great .
emma says – reply to this

14

absolutely hysterical. that guy has a decent voice too. he's just great. reminds me of divine.
patty says – reply to this

15

that was some funny shit!!
Chelsea says – reply to this

16

That was fucking awsome !! I loved it !! LOL
kENT says – reply to this

17

MORE! MORE! I LOVE IT!
ceci says – reply to this

18

i prefer jackie with the crazy fabulous tranny makeup
NYC says – reply to this

19

haha. that's actually pretty hilarious.
Nat says – reply to this

20

I LOVE it, Mariah should totally sing this!
God bless the Internet! says – reply to this

21

Too bloody funny!
yaknow says – reply to this

22

thats moomoo for sure! hahahaha
Karla says – reply to this

23

OMFG… I thought this song was sooo awesome… but now that i've seen the video… i think its a big piece of SHIZZZT!!! I was expecting Jackie Beat to be in full drag and glam and glitzy!! BUT THIS IS CRAAAAAAAAAAP…..

We need to make a redo of this video… BIG TIME!!

i can never listen to this song the same way again….
Kev says – reply to this

24

This is weeeeell good.

"like fat ass oprah"

ha!
JESSIE says – reply to this

25

OMG………THE POWER OF MAKEUP IZ DIVINE……
Karwan says – reply to this

26

lol… bahaha that was BRILLIANT! lol
Honor says – reply to this

27

This is pure genius.
Has anyone got a youtube link for the proper video? can only find ones with the song but with lyrics and such..
Osman says – reply to this

28

I love Jackie Beat! You can check out "Filthy Whore" (Gimme More) and "Baby got Front" (obvious) on youtube!
mikey says – reply to this

29

OMG LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT Y'ALL!~!!!!!!
Daddy says – reply to this

30

thought you would appreciate this
claudia says – reply to this

31

ahahaha that was actually quite funny, " ancient iguana" x x x
Narcissistic Bitch says – reply to this

32

genius…I love it !!!
JAQY says – reply to this

33

LOVES IT!! DON'T BE HATIN' PEREZ!!
shmokin says – reply to this

34

that shit is fuckin HILARIOUS!!!!
isis says – reply to this

35

daymn, that is hot.
Fo Realz says – reply to this

36

And the Grammy goes to…..Miss Jackie Beat!
Tanya says – reply to this

37

I love It!!!!!! Sooo fucking hilarious!!!
... says – reply to this

38

fucking hilarious!
&hearts says – reply to this

39

megalolz
Roxanne says – reply to this

40

I fucking love Jackie Beat and all her brilliance.
tfo says – reply to this

41

Love it Pervez - thanks for giving me a great MOnday morning laugh. hahah
Marine says – reply to this

42

Oh it's so good. We want more!!!!!
NICO says – reply to this

43

Y A Y!!! JACKIE BEAT RULEZ!!! I was sooo waiting for her to come up with a video for this song. I cracked UP so much when i first heard it on here. BEAVER is hillarious too. I want her to make one for 'Private Bathroom' do any of you know if she's made one?? YouTube don't seem to have it. They have the live version
stu says – reply to this

44

High Larry Us!!! But do they really do that in Hollywood?
Portia666 says – reply to this

45

Luvs me some Austin. Work it out TranMa!!
Chip says – reply to this

46

Girl, You so Crazy..OMG she's hilarious.
LMFAO says – reply to this

47

:) Brilliant! Now these lyrics will be in mind every time I hear Mariah's dreadful song and it will make me smile
utsy says – reply to this

48

I thought the song was awesome but the video is just bad…overdone , really .The one I really liked from Jackie Beat and Austin Young was BEAVER (parody of FEVER) ,PLEASZE REDO THIS VIDEO IT S A TOTAL WASTE FOR A SONG THAT S SO GREAT!!!
Jake says – reply to this

49

I LOVE Jackie Beat. So smart and clever….
Nance says – reply to this

50

Fucking Brillant!!!!
Vadge says – reply to this

51

I love how the video is more of a jab at himself and Madonna, rather than Mariah. Ha! Ha! Ha!
LM says – reply to this

52

here is the sad thing….I love this song! It is halirious!
jimkhm says – reply to this

53

hateful beotch
nobodylikesme says – reply to this

54

OMG!!! It's Artie Lange!!!
lalee says – reply to this

55

Jackie!
I love you, but you look much better with your face on. That was disturbing. But, I love the song. You are the best!!
Vanity says – reply to this

56

Not Funny, this is stupid.
Nicole says – reply to this

57

this is very disturbing to me. but i do love the song.
stephy says – reply to this

58

OMFG….this was sooo stupid whoever made this video should die!!!! it f.uck!ng sucked a$$!!!!!!!!!!!
ERiN says – reply to this

59

She's awesome. It's amazing what make-up can do!!
Nelson says – reply to this

60

EWWWWW!!! Gross! Looks like Perez's Twin Brother in bad drag!
t says – reply to this

61

she looked like rumer willis at the end when the wig came off
Annon says – reply to this

62

I love Jackie Beat!!!! I even got to go shopping with her alter ego once. Sweetest person in the world!!!
thomas says – reply to this

63

MOOMOO betta watch out!!!!! LOL!!!!!
Lisa says – reply to this

64

I love this song! Soo true
veronica lorraine. says – reply to this

65

awwww. Isaac Mizrahi, is that you? haha. ew.
DayumThatsUgly says – reply to this

66

Bahahahahahahahaha!
*...Criis...* says – reply to this

67

Jajajajajaja!!!
Joder que puto ascooo…Ya no vuelvo al McDonalds…xDD!
SanD says – reply to this

68

Jackie, my husband and I were fuckin laughing our asses off. Thank you.
Jackie Who? says – reply to this

69

Jackie Bleat is a vicious kunt- but this is kinda funny.
Huh? says – reply to this

70

Why does he always go after the mega stars? and Mariah Carey is not even fat, what are you talking about. This is just like hollywood, always calling someone fat and then when they get loose some weight then they wanna say they're too thin!
Huh? says – reply to this

71

Why does he always go after the mega stars? and Mariah Carey is not even fat, what are you talking about. This is just like hollywood, always calling someone fat and then when they loose some weight then they wanna say they're too thin!
luis says – reply to this

72

i hope a radio station has balls enough to play this song!
AMY says – reply to this

73

This is brilliant!!!
NOT BRILLIANT says – reply to this

74

I guess it's YouTube worthy!
Xtina says – reply to this

75

THAT WAS HILARIOUS! TOTALLY TRUE TOO!!!
SWF says – reply to this

76

that. is. amazing.
fuckthatvideo says – reply to this

77

that is so fucking gay i like the song lol but video was hella stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
FattDoll says – reply to this

78

Brilliance lives amongst us!!!!!!!!!
sanderella says – reply to this

79

OMG…too funny! I love Jackie Beat!
arf says – reply to this

80

If only Jackie Beat were as famous as Mariah Carey.
I wanna live in that world.
lefty lady says – reply to this

81

Hi-FUCKIN-larious! Way too much and over the top. It's perfect!
haha says – reply to this

82

i love mariah but shit this iss too funnyy
Jayme says – reply to this

83

That was NOT funny Just boring and a complete waste of 30 seconds of my life thank god i stopped it
christina says – reply to this

84

that shit was so fuckin pimpin…. omfg i love it
SAxlerod says – reply to this

85

Jackie Beat is the got damn ish! The lyrics were so on-point and the Beat sings a hell of lot better than Mimi!!!!! I enjoyed this. I can stomach this song by Jackie Beat then with the faux diva, lip synching, biological clock screaming Mimi. I also feel so sorry for her new husband, Nick. I hope he realizes that he's only there to touch and retouch Mimi's body as a sperm depositor.
amy weber says – reply to this

86

that is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time! Perez, show more jackie!
Mario says – reply to this

87

JACKIE BEAT RULZ!!! deal with it.
billfor1stlady08 says – reply to this

88

lmao….i love jackie beat
jessica says – reply to this

89

yea shes ugly
grace says – reply to this

90

IT'S AWESOME!!!
suzy says – reply to this

91

JACKIE BEAT IS THE M*F*ING Q U E E N ! ! !
Cobra says – reply to this

92

THAT'S what I'm talking about!!! That was freakin' awesome. I'm off to search Google for the lyrics and forward to my coworkers. HA!!!
jenbunny says – reply to this

93

wow. that's REALLY gay.
AgAPE says – reply to this

94

luved da nerdy dude….kul stuff…P-)
SEVYN says – reply to this

95

brilliant.
Jesse says – reply to this

96

WOWWWWWWWWWWW

I knew there was a man under that makeup but damn i didnt know he was 90 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sister Roma! says – reply to this

97

Jackie is the most brilliant of all the queens out there. That was hilarious. And brave - this is the first time I've seen her perform without any makeup at all! Way to go honey! XOXO
citygirl101 says – reply to this

98

Fucking hilarious!!! Best shit I've seen yet due to the fact that I can't fucking stand Mariah-goddamn sellout. Her voice died and went to hell. As for the comment that is #1. I have something to say to that, and I quote "Someone please shoot me in the throat." I'd be glad to!
balnstlsxi says – reply to this

99

there is nothing to say
Patsy says – reply to this

100

this was great…I want more!!!