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Jessica Alba Secretly Marries!

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Her plan worked! Get the baby and then get that ring!

Jessica "Don't Call Me Latina" Alba and her babydaddy, Cashole Warren, quietly wed on Monday.

The actress' publicist confirmed the news today.

The pair are expecting their first child together.

Felicidades (that means "congratulations" in Spanish, in case she's reading).

[Photo via Getty Images.]

116 comments to “Jessica Alba Secretly Marries!”

More comments: [1] 2 »

  1. tas says – reply to this


    1

    first

  2. peter says – reply to this


    2

    perez will hate on her for sure.

    What happened to your male instincts perez.

  3. ashley says – reply to this


    3

    1st

  4. bbbbb says – reply to this


    4

    1st

  5. wow says – reply to this


    5

    Lucky her!!
    1st

  6. fdajk says – reply to this


    6

    i hate bacon…3rd?

  7. ABC Girl says – reply to this


    7

    PEOPLE got this scoop first?… shame on you Perez!!!!!

  8. Manu says – reply to this


    8

    que puta!

  9. james c says – reply to this


    9

    NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1st

  10. melissa says – reply to this


    10

    they are so hott!!!

  11. mol says – reply to this


    11

    wow

  12. gossipgirlx says – reply to this


    12

    first biatches!

  13. ss says – reply to this


    13

    ew what?

  14. dsg says – reply to this


    14

    FIRST!

  15. mike says – reply to this


    15

    Cash Warren is half black Jessica marries a brotha!!!!!!!

  16. u322401 says – reply to this


    16

    Cool!

  17. mandy says – reply to this


    17

    what!!

  18. jenny says – reply to this


    18

    first? probs not.
    but what?! married?
    id be happy for her though.

  19. JustBeingMe! says – reply to this


    19

    Go Perez.. You know you want it!

  20. Starfire says – reply to this


    20

    Is it really a secret if no one really cares?!

  21. MISCARRIAGE AND DIVORCE! says – reply to this


    21

    FUCK THIS WORTHLESS TWAT

  22. amy says – reply to this


    22

    first

  23. Meg says – reply to this


    23

    1st!

  24. Laura says – reply to this


    24

    Who cares!! This ugly douche should be shot before she gives birth, so the ugly spawn dies too

  25. Liss says – reply to this


    25

    First came the baby, then came marriage, then came divorce, then came desperation. Poor alba. Not.

  26. Brian says – reply to this


    26

    Cashole is sexy - but he's gotta loose the name - sounds too much like asshole. Still fuck him though.

  27. jill says – reply to this


    27

    what!

  28. Gab says – reply to this


    28

    i'd say it means 'i wish you happiness' or 'all the best' but it seems you're a Google Translate fan ;)

  29. anon says – reply to this


    29

    WHO CARES> This sour puss bitch and JULIA ROBERTS can go jump in a friggin lake.

    IF YOU DON"T WANT TO BE FAMOUS

  30. Slutt says – reply to this


    30

    LOOOOOOOL SEX

  31. Allie says – reply to this


    31

    I thought she said she didnt feel like getting married just because she was preganet.

  32. YAWN says – reply to this


    32

    YAWN, when is the divorce?!

  33. VS says – reply to this


    33

    Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Warren! May the best be yet to come. You will have
    a beautiful baby! Healthy too. All the best!

  34. anon says – reply to this


    34

    UUHH>>> BRIAN, cashole is perez' name for him, not his actual name (it's cash warren), just like he calls Kirsten dunst DRUNKST, and misha barton MUSHY FARTONE!!

  35. JohnnyLawEsq. says – reply to this


    35

    Her husband is a lucky man.

  36. Lookalike says – reply to this


    36

    He looks like a cross between Mark Ruffalo and Benjamin Bratt.

  37. Audrina says – reply to this


    37

    congrats to the beautiful newlyweds…… felicidades bitchez!

  38. alayna says – reply to this


    38

    brian, are you retarded? cashole = nickname for cash dubbed by perez. jesus. read up.

    anyways, jalba, i hope you one day find release because we can all see how unhappy you are.

  39. Felicidades! says – reply to this


    39

    Maybe we should all chip in and send them a box of chocolate anuses!

  40. cathy says – reply to this


    40

    is it just me or does Cashole look just like Lorenzo Lamas back in the day?!?!?!?!?!??! are they related???????

  41. SHE SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOT PEGGERS TO KEEP HIM! says – reply to this


    41

    HOW COME HE NEVER EVER LOOKS HAPPY WITH HER?

  42. anon says – reply to this


    42

    WHO CARES???

    GO AWAY GRUMPY BITCH>

  43. Shaun says – reply to this


    43

    Congrats to them!

  44. TOMMY says – reply to this


    44

    WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL WHO CARES IF SHES NOT PROUD OF HER HERITAGE SHE IS REALLY NICE 2 THE WHITES. YOU SUCK A SMALL LITTLE DICK PEREZ…

  45. www.knifelicker.com says – reply to this


    45

    They both suck! What does he do? She makes shitty movies?

  46. LET'S SEND THEM A BOX OF CHOCOLATE ANUSES! says – reply to this


    46

    AND AN NOTE THAT SAYS, "FELICIDADES!"

  47. cono says – reply to this


    47

    LOL! That means congrats in Spanish.

  48. Rory says – reply to this


    48

    Re: SHE SOOOOOOOOOOOO GOT PEGGERS TO KEEP HIM! – Because he doesn't really love her… they were actually broken up when she found out she was pregnant, and I guess he's only doing "the right thing" — which will most likely end up as a divorce anyway, LOL.

  49. stefystef says – reply to this


    49

    This does not surprise me.
    She's a snotty Latina who doesn't want a baby out of wedlock. Her parents probably made sure that she married the bum.

    So the bastard work or is he living off her "Fantastic Four" money?

    Nice to know even the rich and famous have to marry their baby's daddy like the rest of us trailer trash skankbiscuits.

  50. bumbly says – reply to this


    50

    "Her plan", indeed. To keep Cash- get pregnant, have a wedding. "He'll be mine forever!!!"

  51. jeff says – reply to this


    51

    nice rack

  52. NouvelleBabe says – reply to this


    52

    Could he look anymore pissed off in that pic??? WOW

  53. michelle says – reply to this


    53

    Doesn't change the fact you got knocked up being you were married-the kid will be able to do the math and figure that out..so why the charade?!

  54. Angie says – reply to this


    54

    WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    "MS DON'T CALL ME LATINA."

  55. Natalia says – reply to this


    55

    I'm glad she isn't latina! We don't like her anyway!

  56. mewling says – reply to this


    56

    He looks so HAPPY! OMG!!!

  57. go to hell says – reply to this


    57

    Ya know,
    what is that guy's REAL name?
    I only know him as Cashole/asshole, Perez

  58. WTF says – reply to this


    58

    He just looks like an asshole. And she looks like she has serious self-confidence problems that stem from childhood.

  59. My 2 cents.... says – reply to this


    59

    Ok, so I've got nothing to base this on, but in this picture, her husband has "control freak" written all over him. Am I alone in this?
    (I almost married one of these myself once; I think I recognize something in his eyes…)
    Ah, but could be wrong.

  60. zulu says – reply to this


    60

    Good for them for not whoring it out to the media!!!!!

  61. SHOPGIRL says – reply to this


    61

    WHO CARES ABOUT DON'T CALL ME LATINO ALBA…LIKE YOU CAN'T TELS SHE'S LATINO AND HER NOW HUBBY IS PART BLACK AND PART "WHITE"????????????

  62. SHOPGIRL says – reply to this


    62

    WHO CARES ABOUT DON'T CALL ME LATINO ALBA…LIKE YOU CAN'T TELL SHE'S LATINO AND HER NOW HUBBY IS PART BLACK AND PART "WHITE"????????????

  63. BBBoricua says – reply to this


    63

    Perez, I understand where Jessica Alba is coming from. Even members of my family and friends sometimes remind me that I was born here (USA) and shouldn't call myself puertorican. I think is silly because I look, sound and think hispanic. But if she feels that way, it's her choice.
    She got married quietly, so good for her for making her own choices. SHE ROCKS!!!!!

  64. m says – reply to this


    64

    wow, he looks really unhappy!

  65. mirmy says – reply to this


    65

    you are hella funny

  66. this to reply says – reply to this


    66

    No Cinderella wedding! What a shame! Typical Latina getting pregnant before marriage.

  67. dALI says – reply to this


    67

    PEREZ - YOU'RE JEALOUS NO ONE THAT HOT WOULD EVER GIVE U DA TIME OF DAY.

    ..JEALOUUUSSSSSSS????

  68. Yawn says – reply to this


    68

    It wasn't a secret. People simply didn't care.

  69. moe says – reply to this


    69

    congrats to them. at least its better than beyonce keeping her wedding a secret and ashlee's private ceremony

  70. TYPICAL SPICS, THEIR BABY IS STILL A BASTARD says – reply to this


    70

    IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY MARRIED OR NOT. IF THE BABY WAS CONCEIVE OUT OF WEDLOCK IT IS STILL A BASTARD AND SHE IS A BITCHAND HE IS A MOTHERFUCKER. SHE IS A TYPICAL SPIC LOWLIFE SCUM WHO GOT KNOCKED UP LIKE A TYPICAL MEXICAN

  71. TYPICAL SPICS, THEIR BABY IS STILL A BASTARD says – reply to this


    71

    IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY MARRIED OR NOT. IF THE BABY WAS CONCEIVED OUT OF WEDLOCK IT IS STILL A BASTARD AND SHE IS A BITCH AND HE IS A MOTHERFUCKER. SHE IS A TYPICAL SPIC LOWLIFE SCUM WHO GOT KNOCKED UP LIKE A TYPICAL MEXICAN

  72. TYPICAL SPICS, THEIR BABY IS STILL A BASTARD says – reply to this


    72

    IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY MARRIED OR NOT. IF THE BABY WAS CONCEIVED OUT OF WEDLOCK IT IS STILL A BASTARD AND SHE IS A BITCH AND HE IS A MOTHERFUCKER. SHE IS A TYPICAL SPIC LOWLIFE SCUM WHO GOT KNOCKED UP LIKE A TYPICAL MEXICAN!

  73. YSMR says – reply to this


    73

    For someone who hates latinas, she sure did exactly what some latinas do.

  74. 1984 says – reply to this


    74

    perez you seriously are an idiot. Jessica is only part mexican and third generation at that, she's noted she not comfortable wearing the mexican flag on her sleeve because she was not brought up speaking spanish. Is that her fault? I applaud her for being so real and down to earth and not trying to be something she isn't just because that is what is considered 'cool' nowdays. As a fellow half mexican who didn't grow up speaking the language or knowing that much about my culutre because my father was adopted by a white woman i know exactly how she feels and how much it hurts when someone judges you. people need to start recognizing bi racial and multiracial as not one or the other but as something totally different.

    so screw you perez, you're once again an misinformed idiot.

    team JESSICA.

  75. Typical Idiot says – reply to this


    75

    Re: TYPICAL SPICS, THEIR BABY IS STILL A BASTARD
    Typical idiot, his post is still ridiculous.

  76. SORRY YOURE 8 MONTHS TOO LATE!!! says – reply to this


    76

    SORRY JESSICA YOUR BABY IS STILL A BASTARD AND YOU ARE A BITCH!!!!

  77. Andi says – reply to this


    77

    For someone who's "so proud" of their latino heritage, don't you think it's a bit hypocritical to go by Perez Hilton instead of your given name MARIO…..give me a friggin break. HYPOCRITE!

  78. ChiTown Cutie says – reply to this


    78

    Felicidades mean Congrats…..LMAO! Priceless

  79. Paula says – reply to this


    79

    Really?? Awww… Felicidades Puta !!! (That means Congratulations bitch, in case she is reading)

  80. ChiTown Cutie says – reply to this


    80

    RE:#72 You're a racist fuckin idiot!!! PUTO!

  81. realityychick says – reply to this


    81

    Jessica is so annoying and fake. In her interview with allure, she says all she cares about is if her movie "does well at the box office". Her refusal to admit her latina heritage further increases her annoying-ness =]

  82. ANDREA says – reply to this


    82

    Jessica Alba is such a fucking scandalous bitch! Get knocked up to make him marry you? That won't last too long, you dumb cunt. Plus, your looks are the only thing that got you ANYWHERE in your career!! Do you actually think you can act?? Hmmm . . . you are the same in every fucking movie!
    Perez, I share your disdain for this ingrate.

  83. lame says – reply to this


    83

    why the hell would anyone want to get married while they are huge and prego? wont she regret how fat her face looks in her wedding pictures?

  84. sTAR says – reply to this


    84

    He looks like a really cranky selfish brat. You should be happy Perez since you hate her……she will be torn down by his ego.

  85. Perez is Dolly Parton says – reply to this


    85

    I love her newly milk heavy tatas. Wonder if I can get a taste?

  86. Fuckem says – reply to this


    86

    Uh, doesn't she have herpes? What the hell IS she doing having a baby?

  87. sandman says – reply to this


    87

    WHEW! DAMN she is one 'HOT TAMALE:)p

  88. M says – reply to this


    88

    she just didn't want her "brown baby" to be a bastard.

    Re: lame – she probably made sure there were no pictures at all….she's not going to actually have a wedding until after she has the baby and loses all the weight she's gained….she's too vain.

  89. mayela says – reply to this


    89

    that was funny, "Felicidades (that means "congratulations" in Spanish, in case she's reading)." MUAHAHAHAHHA

  90. Donna L. T. says – reply to this


    90

    Awe congrats no matter how bitchy she may be! They sure are going to have a good looking kid-both are hot!

  91. Daisy says – reply to this


    91

    Re: Fuckem

    No doubt your brain is the size of a grain of sand.

  92. jd573f says – reply to this


    92

    Good for them. BTW….I sat next to her recently at Bette Midler in Las Vegas, and she was smiling, BIG TIME. She was beautiful and very cordial. (her ring is damn big too!)

  93. ilovebacon says – reply to this


    93

    that has to be the funniest post you have written in a long time: that means congratulations!! HA HAHAHAHAHAH

  94. Hyde says – reply to this


    94

    Cha-ching! Payday for Warren.

  95. LuvPerez says – reply to this


    95

    This girl could have any man she wanted…WHY did she pick HIM?! Fuggs.

  96. Jerds says – reply to this


    96

    Who? Honestly, though, this broad's an idiota y imbecile!

  97. Nina says – reply to this


    97

    Re: Gab
    Felicidades literally means Congratulations.
    If it's said in the spirit you meant, that's another issues, but it's simply Congratulations.

  98. says – reply to this


    98

    Re: Laura

    Translated into english:

    "I'm an ugly jealous white girl."

    Whether you hate Jessica Alba or not in not way shape or form is she ugly.

  99. jeff says – reply to this


    99

    I'm sorry did she say something? I was too busy looking at her tits

  100. says – reply to this


    100

    Re: TYPICAL SPICS, THEIR BABY IS STILL A BASTARD

    Like you'll ever get a woman as hot as that you racist cunt.
    I bet your mum wishes she'd been sterilised when she looks at you.

More comments: [1] 2 »