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Headline of the Week Weak

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True

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"Deadly brown snake bites man's penis after he stops for roadside toilet break"

Ouch! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.

Deadly snake bites penis

A MAN almost died when he stopped for a roadside toilet break and was bitten by a deadly snake - on the end of his manhood.
The poisonous brown snake darted between his legs and dived at his penis as he crouched on the roadside near Cairns, Australia, before fleeing.

Emergency workers rushed to the scene and wrapped the man's member in plastic in case it was infected with poison.

Shock

But the tourist - suffering from a wound, vomiting and stomach pain - was given the all clear after tests.

An ambulance spokesman, who described the victim as "lucky," said: "It certainly had a swipe at him.

"But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.

"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed."

    Posted: May 30, 2008 at 1:05 pm / Email this  »
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    97 comments to “Headline of the Week Weak”

    1. Nisha says – reply to this


      1

      That's just some bad luck….

    2. gg says – reply to this


      2

      Maybe you could've sucked the poison out for him Fatass!!!!! :lol:

    3. first! says – reply to this


      3

      i'm first you filthy losers!! hahah, i finally got first and you didn't tardmonkeys!

    4. haha says – reply to this


      4

      Total snakes on a plane moment



    5. 5

      ouch…

    6. Deseri says – reply to this


      6

      Poor Mr. Pee Pee

    7. Leigh- says – reply to this


      7

      that is horrible. haha
      ugh i don't even have those parts and i hurt. lol

    8. tonya says – reply to this


      8

      oh dear god….that just made me laugh out loud…….doesn't he know reststops are for homosexuals…lol jk…..something about mary

    9. kelly says – reply to this


      9

      Re: gg – thanks for the laugh!!

    10. natash says – reply to this


      10

      omg that is crazy its something u would see in the movies.

    11. Kellas says – reply to this


      11

      OMG OUCH!!!

    12. kp says – reply to this


      12

      holy crap! ouch.

    13. Mel says – reply to this


      13

      Nice…snake bites are the new thing…forget small dogs and having kids…it's all the reage



    14. 14

      america…fuck yeah!

    15. Dollyp says – reply to this


      15

      ha ha -funny!!! :)

      nearly shit myself tho, when i scrolled down and saw the pic - so not funny!!! Heart attack material there!!! :D lol

    16. lm says – reply to this


      16

      that poor guy!

    17. bill g says – reply to this


      17

      OMG

    18. yo says – reply to this


      18

      WOW now that will ruin your weekend……



    19. 19

      Oh Shite!

    20. France says – reply to this


      20

      Ouch :| That really sucks!

    21. yay! says – reply to this


      21

      fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttttt! FIRST!!!!

    22. XxxxxX says – reply to this


      22

      snakes aren't poisonous, they're venomous

    23. hissyc says – reply to this


      23

      daaaaamn that's fucked up

    24. *KISS* says – reply to this


      24

      …………HMMMMMM!!! MAYBE THE POOR LONELY VIPER JUST MISTOOK THE 'OL DONGER AS ANOTHER CUTIE-PIE 'SNAKE' IN TOWN AND WANTED TO GIVE IT A KISS…….AHHHHH, I'M JUST A HOPELESS ROMANTIC! : -P
      ……………………………..
      SUCK ME WEDDING TACKLE!

    25. m says – reply to this


      25

      Ugh please put this under another heading or change the picture. Some people have snake phobias.

    26. Linda says – reply to this


      26

      Why was he crouching .. why dident he stand like a normal man dose when peein .??

    27. Cutiep says – reply to this


      27

      Re: gg – G.G whats your problem?? if you dont like Perez what the hell are you doing on his site?? Loser!!!

    28. NOT FI says – reply to this


      28

      Re: first! – You [and all others who post "I am first"] are not first, idiot. Stop posting that shit!

    29. cki says – reply to this


      29

      I gues no one can ever top his story at parties.

    30. lolcat says – reply to this


      30

      FAIL

    31. Pammie says – reply to this


      31

      stupid you thought you had first but you didnt, retard. that all you do is wait to see if you can get the first comment, pathetic. I love you Perezito!

    32. cathy says – reply to this


      32

      Wow thats gotta hurt he's poor petey for life.

    33. BiteMe says – reply to this


      33

      Re: XxxxxX – Steve Irwin would be proud of you! Now, go eat a brown snake, including the poison glands and try to get back to us before you die. Distinction without a difference. Venomous means poisonous!

    34. Carly says – reply to this


      34

      Uh Tonya, we don't have reststops in Cairns! There are miles of road with nothing but bush and snakes and spiders love it. If you gotta piss you stop on the side of the road and go behind the car.

    35. dee says – reply to this


      35

      Perez! How come you didn't jump outta the bushes and offer to suck the poison out??????????????????????
      BBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA

    36. caroly says – reply to this


      36

      here you go!!!

    37. JEJ says – reply to this


      37

      Re: tonya – HAHA really Tonya…homosexuals? That's right I totally got the best blow job from your Dad at a rest stop last night. Good comment you ignorant trash bag!

    38. LOL says – reply to this


      38

      Some of these comments are funny. Like *KISS* Hahaha. Or GG. The snake has horns?? YUCK SO Creepy.

    39. uTO says – reply to this


      39

      Is there any truth to the rumor that it WS NOT a snake that did the biting, that it really was PEREZ?

    40. Mere says – reply to this


      40

      holy crap…that snake has horns..that can't be normal can it

    41. Lexxxa says – reply to this


      41

      OMG! is this really true?!!?

    42. ouch says – reply to this


      42

      ouch….sucks to be a man…lol!!!

    43. ouch says – reply to this


      43

      ouch….sucks to be a man…lol!!!
      :lol:

    44. DAMN says – reply to this


      44

      DAMN DAMN!!! that ***F*** up maybe someone can sux the poor guy dry..LOL

    45. bam says – reply to this


      45

      OUCH!!!!!!!! im a guy to and that would not be fun at all. i feel soooo sorry for him. My heart goes out to you buddy !!!!!!!

    46. joesmo says – reply to this


      46

      Re: gg – lmao
      thats a good one!
      but..
      i still love you perez

    47. anonym says – reply to this


      47

      Re: first! – hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
      you got third, bitch.
      priceless.

    48. Cerast says – reply to this


      48

      The snake pictured above is a North American snake, not Australian. Just in case anybody was wondering.

    49. sheila says – reply to this


      49

      Re: first! – no you didn't 'tardmonkey'

    50. yes says – reply to this


      50

      I guess the snake wanted to suck some dick

    51. ryan says – reply to this


      51

      you gotta be careful when you go potty outdoors…LOL.

    52. M&M says – reply to this


      52

      Re: gg – f u if you dont like perez than stop going on his site like get a life if all you do is bash people than your the fat ass……………you fuck your self dick

    53. DLR says – reply to this


      53

      And that is why we should never take a piss or dump on the roadside. That's what those public rest areas are for. Use them! :D



    54. 54

      thats funny

    55. norms says – reply to this


      55

      snake

    56. James says – reply to this


      56

      Seems to me ol' viper got a little bit frisky and decided to branch out with oral sex.

    57. Ben says – reply to this


      57

      Maybe it was a male snake or had an allergy to nuts..!?!



    58. 58

      jajaa.. wow poor guy .. i feel sorry for him.. :(
      no more babies..! haha



    59. 59

      Re: gg – haha loved ur comment.. lol'd.. :D

    60. wollyw says – reply to this


      60

      from ausralia,the poor bloke got reeeeaaaalllllly lucky,brown snake are VERY VERY DEADLY,for all you tourists coming to australia look were you go,snakes in general unless they feel threatened they leave you alone,cheers

    61. JUICY says – reply to this


      61

      HOLY CRAP !!! I WONDER IF HIS FRIEND TRIED SUCKING OUT THE POISON ?
      LOLZ !!! HE'S BETTER OFF PISSING IN A BOTTLE & CANT HE TELL A SNAKE IS COMING AT HIM AND READY 2 BITE THE HELL OUT OF HIS PECKER

    62. Ssssss says – reply to this


      62

      That snake is such a fag!

    63. m1ssch says – reply to this


      63

      The picture is of a rattlesnake, not an eastern brown snake.

    64. German says – reply to this


      64

      You Americans strange, a lot of boring news of some stars and all of you are getting crazy. Cant understand.

    65. granny says – reply to this


      65

      This sort of thing happens all the time down here in Aus. You think thats bad - don't stop where there are koalas because they have very large teeth & a taste for tourist testicles. They sneak up & then with a loud roar , slide under you & bite hard & it can take hours to free ones self.

    66. Camila says – reply to this


      66

      hhahaha.. im ssrry but too funny

    67. kriste says – reply to this


      67

      here you go

    68. fuzzyf says – reply to this


      68

      wow i did'nt know boy george lived in the bushes in australia are it could have been george micheals getting even with men.

    69. Oz gir says – reply to this


      69

      This is the sort of sensationalist crap which completely misrepresents snakes and their behaviour. Sure Australia has a lot of the most poisonous snakes in the world, but they do not deliberately attack. In fact, they do their best to get away from any threat. It is only when cornered, trodden on or severely threatened that they bite humans. If this joker really was attacked, then he was behaving stupidly, and put himself at risk, probably by venturing into long grass by the side of the road. It's like the idiots (usually tourists) who go swimming in waterholes up north and get taken by crocodiles. These animals are only doing what comes naturally. I've seen heaps of snakes. You treat them with respect, leave them alone and they'll go away. Also, they are a protected animal and it is illegal to kill them.

    70. Lilly says – reply to this


      70

      Perez, surely you could have gone to the trouble of finding a picture of a brown snake? They sure don't look like the snake you've featured. Poor effort on your part. Most people who get bitten by snakes in Australia do so because of their own stupid behaviour.

    71. granny says – reply to this


      71

      And PLEASE! do be careful when approaching any rest stop in Aus during wombat mating season. Things down below can get very ugly.

    72. Euromo says – reply to this


      72

      Well, I guess he can always say that the snake felt threatened…

    73. fifi says – reply to this


      73

      The snake responded in a perfectly understandable way.

    74. {kHk/b says – reply to this


      74

      ………..someone should of ask obama/his gay priest…………..

      ….to suck the poison out…they are both SNAKEZZZZZZZZZZ

      …….i'LL BET THAT PRIEZT IZ A PEDOFILE PRICK …………….

      TO THE PRIEST..WHY APOLIGIZE..U SAID IT ..OWN IT..ASSFUK.

    75. jenny says – reply to this


      75

      ohhh THATS sexyyyyyy i'd do the same thing if i were the snake

    76. Joe says – reply to this


      76

      I don't think the picture is of an actual brown snake. It looks more like a rattler. The brown snake in Australia is highly venomous and is actually brown-colored. Australia is home to the top 10 most deadly venomous snakes.

    77. Hissss says – reply to this


      77

      Re: DLR – Some education. Australia is a huge continent with a very small population (approx. 20 million). While the more travelled routes, eg between capital cities have rest stops, most country roads do not. In very isolated areas, you can travel huge distances between towns, so your only option if you need to relieve yourself is the side of the road. This guy probably broke the golden rule of not venturing into long grass. He obviously surprised the snake and it defended itself. Even though Australia has many of the world's most venomous snakes, snake-bite itself is pretty rare. When humans are around, their natural instinct is to get away and hide. Can you blame them? They do not deliberately attack unprovoked.

    78. Kate says – reply to this


      78

      Just like "Snakes on a Plane"!

    79. DD says – reply to this


      79

      Perez, I love you despite myeself, but this picture is horrific. Seriously, scrolling down the page and coming to this I don't care what the story is, you really should avoid putting such creepy things on here. You report some of the skeeviest stuff, but this picture is the worst thing I've ever seen on here!!!!!!!!!! It grosses me out beyond words.

      PS- lucky lucky dude!

    80. Jen says – reply to this


      80

      Re: JEJ – LOLOL! Wow that was hilarious

    81. Jenny says – reply to this


      81

      Re: Ssssss – LOL!!!!! OMG I laughed so hard at that.

    82. Mee says – reply to this


      82

      That picture scared the shit out of me. Perez, you should be more considerate of the pictures you post because some people are deathly afraid of snakes [me] and so yeah. Maybe you should put like a clipart picture. hahaha



    83. 83

      I think I remember reading somewhere that brown snakes are mortal enemies with trouser snakes. Seriously though, that poor guy!

    84. DMAN says – reply to this


      84

      PEREZ TAKES ON ALL FORMS
      FOR HIS WORTHY CAUSES

    85. lisalu says – reply to this


      85

      Re: first! – Re: first! – Uh, no you're not. You idiots need to stop saying, "First!" coz ya look like retards.



    86. 86

      Good, WTF is he doing peeing on the roadside? Nobody wants to see that… Ok maybe I do.

    87. Caseyy says – reply to this


      87

      #89! Beat that!!
      LOL :p

    88. bubble says – reply to this


      88

      Re: first! – hahahhahaha you were third idiot hahahah.



    89. 89

      Haha, thats just funny.

    90. Fernan says – reply to this


      90

      OMG! Poor guy!
      That´s horrible!
      I feel sorry for him!

    91. Zoe says – reply to this


      91

      My only question is why a man would be crouching when going to the bathroom…

    92. Jenni says – reply to this


      92

      lol he thought it was another snake

    93. ozgirl says – reply to this


      93

      I hate to burst your bubble, but that's not a picture of a brown snake…

    94. keeta says – reply to this


      94

      i think we have established that the featured pic is not of an eastern brown snake, yes most snakes left alone usually will not "attack" a human but most tourists dont know the aussie safety rules. eastern browns are known to be extremely vicious and will chase you and give you a bite which is toxic enough to kill 10 adult humans if you f*ck with them. the snake obviously felt vunrable and struck but did not administor any venom, so it pretty much ment "fu*k off away from me and not im gonna kill you a**hole for pissing on me".. you folk are terrified of the snake pic but your more than happy to look at pics of posh and wino, i know what i find more terrifing and its not the snake.

    95. Nahdia says – reply to this


      95

      HAAAA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA~!!!!!
      Well… Shocked and embarassed isn't even half of it…
      I didn't know grown men CROUCHED whilst in Pee Stature xD
      OMG, Seriously though…
      COMMER AN GIMME A KISS~!
      -off in the distance: GET 'ER DONE~!-

    96. LoLlip says – reply to this


      96

      Snake on snake crime.

    97. Arni says – reply to this


      97

      i HATE snakes. I wish all the snakes of this world would be killed. disquisting animals.