Headline of the Week Weak
Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True
"Deadly brown snake bites man's penis after he stops for roadside toilet break"
Ouch! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.
A MAN almost died when he stopped for a roadside toilet break and was bitten by a deadly snake - on the end of his manhood.
The poisonous brown snake darted between his legs and dived at his penis as he crouched on the roadside near Cairns, Australia, before fleeing.
Emergency workers rushed to the scene and wrapped the man's member in plastic in case it was infected with poison.
Shock
But the tourist - suffering from a wound, vomiting and stomach pain - was given the all clear after tests.
An ambulance spokesman, who described the victim as "lucky," said: "It certainly had a swipe at him.
"But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.
"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed."
That's just some bad luck….
Maybe you could've sucked the poison out for him Fatass!!!!!
i'm first you filthy losers!! hahah, i finally got first and you didn't tardmonkeys!
Total snakes on a plane moment
ouch…
Poor Mr. Pee Pee
that is horrible. haha
ugh i don't even have those parts and i hurt. lol
oh dear god….that just made me laugh out loud…….doesn't he know reststops are for homosexuals…lol jk…..something about mary
Re: gg – thanks for the laugh!!
omg that is crazy its something u would see in the movies.
OMG OUCH!!!
holy crap! ouch.
Nice…snake bites are the new thing…forget small dogs and having kids…it's all the reage
america…fuck yeah!
ha ha -funny!!!
nearly shit myself tho, when i scrolled down and saw the pic - so not funny!!! Heart attack material there!!!
lol
that poor guy!
OMG
WOW now that will ruin your weekend……
Oh Shite!
Ouch
That really sucks!
fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttttt! FIRST!!!!
snakes aren't poisonous, they're venomous
daaaaamn that's fucked up
…………HMMMMMM!!! MAYBE THE POOR LONELY VIPER JUST MISTOOK THE 'OL DONGER AS ANOTHER CUTIE-PIE 'SNAKE' IN TOWN AND WANTED TO GIVE IT A KISS…….AHHHHH, I'M JUST A HOPELESS ROMANTIC! : -P
……………………………..
SUCK ME WEDDING TACKLE!
Ugh please put this under another heading or change the picture. Some people have snake phobias.
Why was he crouching .. why dident he stand like a normal man dose when peein .??
Re: gg – G.G whats your problem?? if you dont like Perez what the hell are you doing on his site?? Loser!!!
Re: first! – You [and all others who post "I am first"] are not first, idiot. Stop posting that shit!
I gues no one can ever top his story at parties.
FAIL
stupid you thought you had first but you didnt, retard. that all you do is wait to see if you can get the first comment, pathetic. I love you Perezito!
Wow thats gotta hurt he's poor petey for life.
Re: XxxxxX – Steve Irwin would be proud of you! Now, go eat a brown snake, including the poison glands and try to get back to us before you die. Distinction without a difference. Venomous means poisonous!
Uh Tonya, we don't have reststops in Cairns! There are miles of road with nothing but bush and snakes and spiders love it. If you gotta piss you stop on the side of the road and go behind the car.
Perez! How come you didn't jump outta the bushes and offer to suck the poison out??????????????????????
BBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA
here you go!!!
Re: tonya – HAHA really Tonya…homosexuals? That's right I totally got the best blow job from your Dad at a rest stop last night. Good comment you ignorant trash bag!
Some of these comments are funny. Like *KISS* Hahaha. Or GG. The snake has horns?? YUCK SO Creepy.
Is there any truth to the rumor that it WS NOT a snake that did the biting, that it really was PEREZ?
holy crap…that snake has horns..that can't be normal can it
OMG! is this really true?!!?
ouch….sucks to be a man…lol!!!
ouch….sucks to be a man…lol!!!
DAMN DAMN!!! that ***F*** up maybe someone can sux the poor guy dry..LOL
OUCH!!!!!!!! im a guy to and that would not be fun at all. i feel soooo sorry for him. My heart goes out to you buddy !!!!!!!
Re: gg – lmao
thats a good one!
but..
i still love you perez
Re: first! – hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
you got third, bitch.
priceless.
The snake pictured above is a North American snake, not Australian. Just in case anybody was wondering.
Re: first! – no you didn't 'tardmonkey'
I guess the snake wanted to suck some dick
you gotta be careful when you go potty outdoors…LOL.
Re: gg – f u if you dont like perez than stop going on his site like get a life if all you do is bash people than your the fat ass……………you fuck your self dick
And that is why we should never take a piss or dump on the roadside. That's what those public rest areas are for. Use them!
thats funny
snake
Seems to me ol' viper got a little bit frisky and decided to branch out with oral sex.
Maybe it was a male snake or had an allergy to nuts..!?!
jajaa.. wow poor guy .. i feel sorry for him..
no more babies..! haha
Re: gg – haha loved ur comment.. lol'd..
from ausralia,the poor bloke got reeeeaaaalllllly lucky,brown snake are VERY VERY DEADLY,for all you tourists coming to australia look were you go,snakes in general unless they feel threatened they leave you alone,cheers
HOLY CRAP !!! I WONDER IF HIS FRIEND TRIED SUCKING OUT THE POISON ?
LOLZ !!! HE'S BETTER OFF PISSING IN A BOTTLE & CANT HE TELL A SNAKE IS COMING AT HIM AND READY 2 BITE THE HELL OUT OF HIS PECKER
That snake is such a fag!
The picture is of a rattlesnake, not an eastern brown snake.
You Americans strange, a lot of boring news of some stars and all of you are getting crazy. Cant understand.
This sort of thing happens all the time down here in Aus. You think thats bad - don't stop where there are koalas because they have very large teeth & a taste for tourist testicles. They sneak up & then with a loud roar , slide under you & bite hard & it can take hours to free ones self.
hhahaha.. im ssrry but too funny
here you go
wow i did'nt know boy george lived in the bushes in australia are it could have been george micheals getting even with men.
This is the sort of sensationalist crap which completely misrepresents snakes and their behaviour. Sure Australia has a lot of the most poisonous snakes in the world, but they do not deliberately attack. In fact, they do their best to get away from any threat. It is only when cornered, trodden on or severely threatened that they bite humans. If this joker really was attacked, then he was behaving stupidly, and put himself at risk, probably by venturing into long grass by the side of the road. It's like the idiots (usually tourists) who go swimming in waterholes up north and get taken by crocodiles. These animals are only doing what comes naturally. I've seen heaps of snakes. You treat them with respect, leave them alone and they'll go away. Also, they are a protected animal and it is illegal to kill them.
Perez, surely you could have gone to the trouble of finding a picture of a brown snake? They sure don't look like the snake you've featured. Poor effort on your part. Most people who get bitten by snakes in Australia do so because of their own stupid behaviour.
And PLEASE! do be careful when approaching any rest stop in Aus during wombat mating season. Things down below can get very ugly.
Well, I guess he can always say that the snake felt threatened…
The snake responded in a perfectly understandable way.
………..someone should of ask obama/his gay priest…………..
….to suck the poison out…they are both SNAKEZZZZZZZZZZ
…….i'LL BET THAT PRIEZT IZ A PEDOFILE PRICK …………….
TO THE PRIEST..WHY APOLIGIZE..U SAID IT ..OWN IT..ASSFUK.
ohhh THATS sexyyyyyy i'd do the same thing if i were the snake
I don't think the picture is of an actual brown snake. It looks more like a rattler. The brown snake in Australia is highly venomous and is actually brown-colored. Australia is home to the top 10 most deadly venomous snakes.
Re: DLR – Some education. Australia is a huge continent with a very small population (approx. 20 million). While the more travelled routes, eg between capital cities have rest stops, most country roads do not. In very isolated areas, you can travel huge distances between towns, so your only option if you need to relieve yourself is the side of the road. This guy probably broke the golden rule of not venturing into long grass. He obviously surprised the snake and it defended itself. Even though Australia has many of the world's most venomous snakes, snake-bite itself is pretty rare. When humans are around, their natural instinct is to get away and hide. Can you blame them? They do not deliberately attack unprovoked.
Just like "Snakes on a Plane"!
Perez, I love you despite myeself, but this picture is horrific. Seriously, scrolling down the page and coming to this I don't care what the story is, you really should avoid putting such creepy things on here. You report some of the skeeviest stuff, but this picture is the worst thing I've ever seen on here!!!!!!!!!! It grosses me out beyond words.
PS- lucky lucky dude!
Re: JEJ – LOLOL! Wow that was hilarious
Re: Ssssss – LOL!!!!! OMG I laughed so hard at that.
That picture scared the shit out of me. Perez, you should be more considerate of the pictures you post because some people are deathly afraid of snakes [me] and so yeah. Maybe you should put like a clipart picture. hahaha
I think I remember reading somewhere that brown snakes are mortal enemies with trouser snakes. Seriously though, that poor guy!
PEREZ TAKES ON ALL FORMS
FOR HIS WORTHY CAUSES
Re: first! – Re: first! – Uh, no you're not. You idiots need to stop saying, "First!" coz ya look like retards.
Good, WTF is he doing peeing on the roadside? Nobody wants to see that… Ok maybe I do.
#89! Beat that!!
LOL :p
Re: first! – hahahhahaha you were third idiot hahahah.
Haha, thats just funny.
OMG! Poor guy!
That´s horrible!
I feel sorry for him!
My only question is why a man would be crouching when going to the bathroom…
lol he thought it was another snake
I hate to burst your bubble, but that's not a picture of a brown snake…
i think we have established that the featured pic is not of an eastern brown snake, yes most snakes left alone usually will not "attack" a human but most tourists dont know the aussie safety rules. eastern browns are known to be extremely vicious and will chase you and give you a bite which is toxic enough to kill 10 adult humans if you f*ck with them. the snake obviously felt vunrable and struck but did not administor any venom, so it pretty much ment "fu*k off away from me and not im gonna kill you a**hole for pissing on me".. you folk are terrified of the snake pic but your more than happy to look at pics of posh and wino, i know what i find more terrifing and its not the snake.
HAAAA HAHA HAHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA~!!!!!
Well… Shocked and embarassed isn't even half of it…
I didn't know grown men CROUCHED whilst in Pee Stature xD
OMG, Seriously though…
COMMER AN GIMME A KISS~!
-off in the distance: GET 'ER DONE~!-
Snake on snake crime.
i HATE snakes. I wish all the snakes of this world would be killed. disquisting animals.