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Headline of the Week Weak

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True

poisonsnake.jpg

"Deadly brown snake bites man's penis after he stops for roadside toilet break"

Ouch! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.

Deadly snake bites penis

A MAN almost died when he stopped for a roadside toilet break and was bitten by a deadly snake - on the end of his manhood.
The poisonous brown snake darted between his legs and dived at his penis as he crouched on the roadside near Cairns, Australia, before fleeing.

Emergency workers rushed to the scene and wrapped the man's member in plastic in case it was infected with poison.

Shock

But the tourist - suffering from a wound, vomiting and stomach pain - was given the all clear after tests.

An ambulance spokesman, who described the victim as "lucky," said: "It certainly had a swipe at him.

"But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.

"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed."



99 comments to “Headline of the Week Weak”

  1. Nisha says – reply to this
    1

    That's just some bad luck….

  2. gg says – reply to this
    2

    Maybe you could've sucked the poison out for him Fatass!!!!! :lol:

  3. first! says – reply to this
    3

    i'm first you filthy losers!! hahah, i finally got first and you didn't tardmonkeys!

  4. haha says – reply to this
    4

    Total snakes on a plane moment

  5. 5

    ouch…

  6. Deseri says – reply to this
    6

    Poor Mr. Pee Pee

  7. Leigh- says – reply to this
    7

    that is horrible. haha
    ugh i don't even have those parts and i hurt. lol

  8. tonya says – reply to this
    8

    oh dear god….that just made me laugh out loud…….doesn't he know reststops are for homosexuals…lol jk…..something about mary

  9. kelly says – reply to this
    9

    Re: gg – thanks for the laugh!!

  10. natash says – reply to this
    10

    omg that is crazy its something u would see in the movies.

  11. Kellas says – reply to this
    11

    OMG OUCH!!!

  12. kp says – reply to this
    12

    holy crap! ouch.

  13. Mel says – reply to this
    13

    Nice…snake bites are the new thing…forget small dogs and having kids…it's all the reage

  14. 14

    america…fuck yeah!

  15. Dollyp says – reply to this
    15

    ha ha -funny!!! :)

    nearly shit myself tho, when i scrolled down and saw the pic - so not funny!!! Heart attack material there!!! :D lol

  16. Warden says – reply to this
    16

    Too bad Malario wasn't there to suck the venom out for him cuz we all know that Malario would have saved him a trip to the hospital.

  17. lm says – reply to this
    17

    that poor guy!

  18. bill g says – reply to this
    18

    OMG

  19. 19

    Too bad Malario wasn't there to suck out the venom.

  20. yo says – reply to this
    20

    WOW now that will ruin your weekend……

  21. 21

    Oh Shite!

  22. France says – reply to this
    22

    Ouch :| That really sucks!

  23. yay! says – reply to this
    23

    fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssssstttttttttttttttttttt! FIRST!!!!

  24. XxxxxX says – reply to this
    24

    snakes aren't poisonous, they're venomous

  25. hissyc says – reply to this
    25

    daaaaamn that's fucked up

  26. *KISS* says – reply to this
    26

    …………HMMMMMM!!! MAYBE THE POOR LONELY VIPER JUST MISTOOK THE 'OL DONGER AS ANOTHER CUTIE-PIE 'SNAKE' IN TOWN AND WANTED TO GIVE IT A KISS…….AHHHHH, I'M JUST A HOPELESS ROMANTIC! : -P
    ……………………………..
    SUCK ME WEDDING TACKLE!

  27. m says – reply to this
    27

    Ugh please put this under another heading or change the picture. Some people have snake phobias.

  28. Linda says – reply to this
    28

    Why was he crouching .. why dident he stand like a normal man dose when peein .??

  29. Cutiep says – reply to this
    29

    Re: gg – G.G whats your problem?? if you dont like Perez what the hell are you doing on his site?? Loser!!!

  30. NOT FI says – reply to this
    30

    Re: first! – You [and all others who post "I am first"] are not first, idiot. Stop posting that shit!

  31. cki says – reply to this
    31

    I gues no one can ever top his story at parties.

  32. lolcat says – reply to this
    32

    FAIL

  33. Pammie says – reply to this
    33

    stupid you thought you had first but you didnt, retard. that all you do is wait to see if you can get the first comment, pathetic. I love you Perezito!

  34. cathy says – reply to this
    34

    Wow thats gotta hurt he's poor petey for life.

  35. BiteMe says – reply to this
    35

    Re: XxxxxX – Steve Irwin would be proud of you! Now, go eat a brown snake, including the poison glands and try to get back to us before you die. Distinction without a difference. Venomous means poisonous!

  36. Carly says – reply to this
    36

    Uh Tonya, we don't have reststops in Cairns! There are miles of road with nothing but bush and snakes and spiders love it. If you gotta piss you stop on the side of the road and go behind the car.

  37. dee says – reply to this
    37

    Perez! How come you didn't jump outta the bushes and offer to suck the poison out??????????????????????
    BBBBBBBBBBWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA

  38. caroly says – reply to this
    38

    here you go!!!

  39. JEJ says – reply to this
    39

    Re: tonya – HAHA really Tonya…homosexuals? That's right I totally got the best blow job from your Dad at a rest stop last night. Good comment you ignorant trash bag!

  40. LOL says – reply to this
    40

    Some of these comments are funny. Like *KISS* Hahaha. Or GG. The snake has horns?? YUCK SO Creepy.

  41. uTO says – reply to this
    41

    Is there any truth to the rumor that it WS NOT a snake that did the biting, that it really was PEREZ?

  42. Mere says – reply to this
    42

    holy crap…that snake has horns..that can't be normal can it

  43. Lexxxa says – reply to this
    43

    OMG! is this really true?!!?

  44. ouch says – reply to this
    44

    ouch….sucks to be a man…lol!!!

  45. ouch says – reply to this
    45

    ouch….sucks to be a man…lol!!!
    :lol:

  46. DAMN says – reply to this
    46

    DAMN DAMN!!! that ***F*** up maybe someone can sux the poor guy dry..LOL

  47. bam says – reply to this
    47

    OUCH!!!!!!!! im a guy to and that would not be fun at all. i feel soooo sorry for him. My heart goes out to you buddy !!!!!!!

  48. joesmo says – reply to this
    48

    Re: gg – lmao
    thats a good one!
    but..
    i still love you perez

  49. anonym says – reply to this
    49

    Re: first! – hahahahahahahahahahahaha.
    you got third, bitch.
    priceless.

  50. Cerast says – reply to this
    50

    The snake pictured above is a North American snake, not Australian. Just in case anybody was wondering.

  51. sheila says – reply to this
    51

    Re: first! – no you didn't 'tardmonkey'

  52. yes says – reply to this
    52

    I guess the snake wanted to suck some dick

  53. ryan says – reply to this
    53

    you gotta be careful when you go potty outdoors…LOL.

  54. M&M says – reply to this
    54

    Re: gg – f u if you dont like perez than stop going on his site like get a life if all you do is bash people than your the fat ass……………you fuck your self dick

  55. DLR says – reply to this
    55

    And that is why we should never take a piss or dump on the roadside. That's what those public rest areas are for. Use them! :D

  56. 56

    thats funny

  57. norms says – reply to this
    57

    snake

  58. James says – reply to this
    58

    Seems to me ol' viper got a little bit frisky and decided to branch out with oral sex.

  59. Ben says – reply to this
    59

    Maybe it was a male snake or had an allergy to nuts..!?!

  60. 60

    jajaa.. wow poor guy .. i feel sorry for him.. :(
    no more babies..! haha

  61. 61

    Re: gg – haha loved ur comment.. lol'd.. :D

  62. wollyw says – reply to this
    62

    from ausralia,the poor bloke got reeeeaaaalllllly lucky,brown snake are VERY VERY DEADLY,for all you tourists coming to australia look were you go,snakes in general unless they feel threatened they leave you alone,cheers

  63. JUICY says – reply to this
    63

    HOLY CRAP !!! I WONDER IF HIS FRIEND TRIED SUCKING OUT THE POISON ?
    LOLZ !!! HE'S BETTER OFF PISSING IN A BOTTLE & CANT HE TELL A SNAKE IS COMING AT HIM AND READY 2 BITE THE HELL OUT OF HIS PECKER

  64. Ssssss says – reply to this
    64

    That snake is such a fag!

  65. m1ssch says – reply to this
    65

    The picture is of a rattlesnake, not an eastern brown snake.

  66. German says – reply to this
    66

    You Americans strange, a lot of boring news of some stars and all of you are getting crazy. Cant understand.

  67. granny says – reply to this
    67

    This sort of thing happens all the time down here in Aus. You think thats bad - don't stop where there are koalas because they have very large teeth & a taste for tourist testicles. They sneak up & then with a loud roar , slide under you & bite hard & it can take hours to free ones self.

  68. Camila says – reply to this
    68

    hhahaha.. im ssrry but too funny

  69. kriste says – reply to this
    69

    here you go

  70. fuzzyf says – reply to this
    70

    wow i did'nt know boy george lived in the bushes in australia are it could have been george micheals getting even with men.

  71. Oz gir says – reply to this
    71

    This is the sort of sensationalist crap which completely misrepresents snakes and their behaviour. Sure Australia has a lot of the most poisonous snakes in the world, but they do not deliberately attack. In fact, they do their best to get away from any threat. It is only when cornered, trodden on or severely threatened that they bite humans. If this joker really was attacked, then he was behaving stupidly, and put himself at risk, probably by venturing into long grass by the side of the road. It's like the idiots (usually tourists) who go swimming in waterholes up north and get taken by crocodiles. These animals are only doing what comes naturally. I've seen heaps of snakes. You treat them with respect, leave them alone and they'll go away. Also, they are a protected animal and it is illegal to kill them.

  72. Lilly says – reply to this
    72

    Perez, surely you could have gone to the trouble of finding a picture of a brown snake? They sure don't look like the snake you've featured. Poor effort on your part. Most people who get bitten by snakes in Australia do so because of their own stupid behaviour.

  73. granny says – reply to this
    73

    And PLEASE! do be careful when approaching any rest stop in Aus during wombat mating season. Things down below can get very ugly.

  74. Euromo says – reply to this
    74

    Well, I guess he can always say that the snake felt threatened…

  75. fifi says – reply to this
    75

    The snake responded in a perfectly understandable way.

  76. {kHk/b says – reply to this
    76

    ………..someone should of ask obama/his gay priest…………..

    ….to suck the poison out…they are both SNAKEZZZZZZZZZZ

    …….i'LL BET THAT PRIEZT IZ A PEDOFILE PRICK …………….

    TO THE PRIEST..WHY APOLIGIZE..U SAID IT ..OWN IT..ASSFUK.

  77. jenny says – reply to this