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Slow Your Roll

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True

slowyourroll.jpg

This is something that we definitely will NOT be drinking! We need as much energy as we can get!

A beverage company has come out with an 'anti' energy drink called Drank.

Its tag line is "slow your roll." Pretty clever.

The drink's publicist called it the 'extreme relaxation beverage' that goes great with vodka.

The carbonated, grape-flavored beverage is spiked with melatonin, valerian root and rose hips.

What the heck?

Why?????

The creator was apparently thinking of the hip hop community when he concocted it.

The product's press release says, "From design to production, every aspect of this calming drink was inspired by today’s popular hip hop artists who embrace the much sought-after hip hop lifestyle that encourages people to capture a stress-free state of mind."

So, what we're gathering is that it's basically a pot high in a can or something that makes an E high last longer?

Drank up!

[Image via villagevoice]

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174 comments to “Slow Your Roll”

More comments: [1] 2 »



  1. 1

    Maybe this is meant to be a bedtime drink to help people get more zzzzzzzz's.

    Otherwise why bother.



  2. 2

    and why is it purple? because of grape soda? lol.. jk… oh well.. u gotta make money somehow.. oh and stupid kids will buy it just to be … "COOOOL!

  3. moi says – reply to this


    3

    2ND



  4. 4

    Maybe it works to calm your azz down!…

  5. Graham says – reply to this


    5

    melatonin comes from Cow Brains.

    delish.

  6. yucky says – reply to this


    6

    ewww that sounds gross.

  7. Laura says – reply to this


    7

    THATS FUCKING AWESOME.



  8. 8

    whoa, nice… i wanna try it.



  9. 9

    "From design to production, every aspect of this calming drink was inspired by today’s popular hip hop artists who embrace the much sought-after hip hop lifestyle that encourages people to capture a stress-free state of mind."

  10. yo mam says – reply to this


    10

    First!

  11. JGrigs says – reply to this


    11

    First?

  12. smart says – reply to this


    12

    wat? stupid. fall asleep in a club. real cool. alcohol already is a depressant that makes the body slow/tired as it is!

  13. bee says – reply to this


    13

    first?

  14. Jackie says – reply to this


    14

    stupid

  15. 89080 says – reply to this


    15

    firsttttttt



  16. 16

    If it's a pot high in a can then hook me up. And it's grape flavored too? Can't beat that.

  17. jojo says – reply to this


    17

    because we like to get stoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  18. 18

    Wtf? don't think anyone will buy that!

  19. heathe says – reply to this


    19

    so cool

  20. BOHOOO says – reply to this


    20

    FIRSTTTTTTT….BROWN POWERRRRRRRR WOOT WOOOTTT..

  21. mightl says – reply to this


    21

    Darn it….second! I'll pass on that drink though….I like my energy!

  22. isis says – reply to this


    22

    It's called two seconds of research, Perez.

    Purple Drank is a slang term for a recreational drug popular in the hip-hop community of the Southern United States. Its main ingredient is prescription-strength cough syrup containing codeine and promethazine.[1]

  23. raine says – reply to this


    23

    Perez…are you reading FARK.com again?

  24. Grace says – reply to this


    24

    I'm not sure why they went for the hip-hop route, but beverages and foods with melatonin in them are very popular for a more natural sleep aid. So this drink is not really all that weird, aside from the marketing…



  25. 25

    My husband works at a beer barn/frozen drink stand. The "hip hop" crowd get grape drinks and sodas and spike them with "Lean". Phenergran. That is totally what this drink is for.

  26. Mel says – reply to this


    26

    No shit it extends your E high… "slow your roll"
    Dipshit



  27. 27

    So basically they've made a date-rape drink? WTF?

  28. Jenn says – reply to this


    28

    "GIMMIE SOME OF THAT PURPLE STUFFFFFFFF"
    GRAPE DRANK!

  29. genius says – reply to this


    29

    mother fucking genius, I will most definitely be trying this!

  30. jenna says – reply to this


    30

    this sounds like something that would make you feel better when coming down off of an E high. Not something that would make the E high last longer.

  31. iheart says – reply to this


    31

    I work in the beverage industry…this is not real! There is a popular mix of grape cough syrup (or other cold medicine) and 7-up going around and this is a spoof on that…

  32. April says – reply to this


    32

    I actually take melatonin every night for my sleeping disorder. So this seems like a good idea to me. And to everyone that doesn't know what melatonin, well melatonin is a vitamin you can pick up at the any store like walmart or walgreens but it helps you fall asleep fast and stay asleep. You know when you eat turkey at Thanksgiving you are real tired afterwards and want to take a nice long nap, well melatonin is found in turkey.

  33. WOW says – reply to this


    33

    WHAT A GREAT IDEA, AND HEALTHY TOO!!! GREAT ALTERNATIVE TO ALCOHOL.

  34. Diane says – reply to this


    34

    Perez, are you dumb? Haven't you heard about sizzurp?? I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be like that codeine high. I don't think it's even relevent to pot or E.

  35. TRACY says – reply to this


    35

    NEXT…LEGAL MARY JANE WOO!!

  36. lefty says – reply to this


    36

    Dude! Where can I pick some up? Are dealers gonna be straight slingin it on the corner?

  37. LEXTA$ says – reply to this


    37

    Come on every1.. it's supposed to simulate grape cough syrup. Sippin on that purple drank… I'm not even from the hood & I know that!

  38. ashee says – reply to this


    38

    awww, you poor naive people….
    this is CLEARLY made to look and taste like codine promithazene a purple mix that people from the south (H-town espically) drink to get messed up. have you people never heard of DJ screw???? he died from the stuff, what the hell are people promoting it for??

  39. nikki says – reply to this


    39

    It's supposed to be like purple drank from the south…you know like lean! That's why its purple and that's why it makes you relaxed but it doesn't work, my boyfriend already drank some!



  40. 40

    Melatonin is the hormone in the brain that is released in increments based on the amount of light the eye is receiving and it regulates biorhythms. i.e. it would cause our brain to think it's nighttime and it needs to go to sleep.

  41. LEXTA$ says – reply to this


    41

    Come on every1.. it's supposed to simulate grape cough syrup. Sippin on that purple drank… I'm not even from the hood & I know that! Diane know's what's up.



  42. 42

    I don't think it's stupid.. at the end of a party when you're al hyped up you can tak ethis drink so when yo come home you can actually fall asleep and not be wide awake for a couple of houres

  43. ariann says – reply to this


    43

    i like this idea. everyone needs to chill out anyway.

  44. stef says – reply to this


    44

    Yeah, it most definitely must be for the hip hop community, because everyone knows the ROCKSTAR

  45. STEF says – reply to this


    45

    Yeah, it most definitely must be for the hip hop community, because everyone knows the ROCKSTAR community would prefer COCAINE in a can…fucking crackheads….



  46. 46

    i cant wait for this!

  47. Rollin says – reply to this


    47

    Rollin is doing X

  48. 9 inch says – reply to this


    48

    This is awesome. I love how the hip hop lifestyle is about relaxation and not working, and being lazy, and getting places late. I notice it's grape flavored. How odd… .colored folks are famous for liking grape beverages. The jokes write themselves

  49. bingo says – reply to this


    49

    a "stress free state of mind"…..is that fancy talk for allways having a gun on u …and having your posse beat up everyone that looks at u

  50. truthh says – reply to this


    50

    Perez you Fat Gay asshole- you just said the most prejudiced thing. That soda was obviously made for the hip hop community. I am so shocked and ashamed of you. That was wrong -and you call Rumer a Potatoehead

  51. gei223 says – reply to this


    51

    Why don't they just it "fat ass in a can"?

  52. Goodz says – reply to this


    52

    ITS LEGAL SIZZURP OR LEAN…ITS THE SHIT..HARD TO FIND …JUST BOUGHT A PALLET OF IT!

  53. Nas says – reply to this


    53

    If you know anything about Texas rap, they talk about Purple Drank. It is liquor mixed with cough syrup that generally slowwws you down. Just listen to any Mike Jones, Paul Wall, or Bun B songs.

  54. coocoo says – reply to this


    54

    melatonin gives me nightmares!

  55. Leslie says – reply to this


    55

    You could not know less about drugs and their effects on brain chemistry. E is in no way shape or form similar to pot. And on a side note, you might want to think twice about bashing people who smoke pot when you drink alcohol - a far more harmful drug than pot. Tylenol and Aspirin are also more harmful than pot.

    Please stop eating up American anti-drug propaganda.



  56. 56

    I've tried that codeine cough syrup before. I was prescribed it though.. I took a double dose by accident and it messed me up. I could not keep my head up.

  57. meghan says – reply to this


    57

    Valerin comes from africa, its a root that helps people sleep. meletonin encourages natural sleep habits.

    DUH not that hard to look up.

  58. claren says – reply to this


    58

    Hell, I'd drink it…

  59. Sally says – reply to this


    59

    Re: April
    Are you damned retarded? Melatonin is not a vitamin, it's a hormone. And the stuff in turkey that makes you sleepy is tryptophan.
    Maybe you should get a clue before you start shoving pills down your throat.

  60. meltz9 says – reply to this


    60

    Hip hop is still popular? LOL

  61. Claire says – reply to this


    61

    like codiene mixed drinks that rappers make. cough syrup+alcohol+other shit=purple drank… it's a whole huge movement.

  62. CVD says – reply to this


    62

    That's been available at the corner store down the street for nearly a year now.

    Old news once again!

  63. tashi says – reply to this


    63

    Ha!! It's like a liquid joint!

  64. RUU says – reply to this


    64

    I"D DRINK THAT

  65. htx says – reply to this


    65

    This is definitely a REAL product, I know people who have bought it before. It isnt available everywhere though. And its definitely a take on "lean", aka promethazine codeine mixed w/ some any kind of soft drink, etc,

    lean = what pimp c died of !!! and dj screw, big moe, etc.

  66. Vanite says – reply to this


    66

    Just so ppl know, Drank is real, it was "conceived" in Houston by a soda rep, and they are test marketing it here ( I had heard about drank before it came out, a friend of mine used to work for that guy, I'm so connected>;). I have one in my fridge. It actually just makes you really sleepy, I have only had about a half a can and in about 30 minutes, I went to bed. I haven't tried combining it with illegal narcotics though.

  67. Lara says – reply to this


    67

    Since WHEN has the hip-hop community been about remaining "calm" ???
    They always seem pretty fucking hyped up to me.
    Maybe this is the drink to bring you down after smoking crack and meth; two chemicals that seem to be the norm these days in the "gangsta" community.
    And what's the sense of combining a herb such as valerian with vodka? Something that HELPS sleep, along with something that DISTURBS sleep?
    Fuck. Human beings are becoming more stupid every day.

  68. eddy says – reply to this


    68

    come down to houston, tx where it all started we'll show you what purple drank iz all bout!! :p

  69. Cassie says – reply to this


    69

    I wonder if it's like the "Be Relaxed" flavored Vitaminwater– :)

  70. x says – reply to this


    70

    the melatonin makes you sleepy

  71. mer says – reply to this


    71

    Re: Graham – melatonin is a hormone found in animals and humans you idiot.

  72. rach says – reply to this


    72

    did anyone else think about this being used to help come down off coke? jw lol.

  73. JoAnn says – reply to this


    73

    I will try this for sure. I don't naturally need any uppers. I don't need the energy drinks. I am not on drugs! I normally have a lot of energy. I will definitely need to try this drink. I would probably drink it in the evenings when it's time to slow down.

  74. MariO says – reply to this


    74

    Ashanti Album Is Out!!!! ASHANTI ALBUM OUT!!!!!! The Declaration
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  75. NIGZ says – reply to this


    75

    Great, it's for lazy niggs. It's purple because they love grape ne-hi and hi-c. Perefect for lounging around the house collecting welfare and smokin dope!

  76. Toni says – reply to this


    76

    This is probably dangerous. It's a known fact that drinking while taking pills like valium can be deadly, and valerian root is the plant that valium is derived from. I drink valerian tea, but combining valerian with another chemical and vodka is not good advice and I'm sure some lazy ass person will drink this and decide lawsuits are better than welfare and sue this company.

  77. lilb says – reply to this


    77

    WHO WOULD EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR:::USE THAT ???????????????????????????????????????

  78. Leela says – reply to this


    78

    This is more like Date Rape Drug in drink form. Melatonin and Valerian Root are known sleep inducers. Mixing with vodka would be a terrible idea.

    In fact, this whole idea seems like an FDA nightmare!!

  79. Simpli says – reply to this


    79

    hmm i dont really know about this…fuck it ill try it….i like that run down feeling :p

  80. thirst says – reply to this


    80

    Some people get more easily horny when relaxed, maybe that's it?hehe

  81. Christ says – reply to this


    81

    GRAPE FLAVOR…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…. HIP HOP COMMUNITY… HAHAHAHAHAHAHA… WHAT THE FUCK FLAVOR DID YOU THINK IT WOULD BE????? IT COULD ONLY BE FUNNIER IF IT WERE GRAPE KOOL-AID FLAVOR!!!
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  82. htown says – reply to this


    82

    havent any of yall ever heard of lean? as in… syrup. come on– itsa purple can.
    that'ss the hiphop reference. duh.
    see: weezy, big moe, screw, 36mafia songs

  83. liz says – reply to this


    83

    I'd rather drink this than one of those energy drinks!! the crap they put in energy drinks are soooo gross! gaurana is terrible for you! especially your heart.

    if you need an energy boost have a cup of light coffee, it's better than the crap in monster drinks or whatever.

  84. Umm says – reply to this


    84

    It doesn't sound like this was meant to be a 'legal high' type of product. Melatonin will not get you 'high.' Valerian root is related to catnip, and does have sedative properties, but also not productive of a 'high' like you'd expect with pot. All of the indgredients listed are simply natural sedatives you'd find at any supplement or health store. They help to stimulate and regulate the natural production of seratonin in the brain. None of them are related to THC (the active ingredient in pot) in any way.

  85. murry says – reply to this


    85

    Anti-energy drink? You mean beer?

  86. Staphn says – reply to this


    86

    fuck yeah baby …………..yeah suck that cock.oooooooooooohhh yeah come on baby.Drink my jizz yeah…..fuck yeah baby take that dick in your mouth.Yeah baby suck that shit real good.Fuck yeah baby let me spread my ass for you.Fuck yeah baby come on eat my asssss.Yeah baby rimm my asshole baby please.Fuck yeah baby Iam gonna cum right now.

  87. french says – reply to this


    87

    that's lean dude

  88. Ashley says – reply to this


    88

    Because black people really need something to make them even lazier….

  89. nicole says – reply to this


    89

    ive drank it and bought thhat stuff in large quantaties… its good, it doesnt mess u up,but it is good with vodka and its great right before bed

  90. Em says – reply to this


    90

    Dude, it's trying to be purple drank…with herbs instead of cough syrup and pain killers and whatnot.



  91. 91

    i think i'd like this stuff. i hate energy drinks. this might be nice to wind down after a stressful day at work, yunno?

  92. Raven says – reply to this


    92

    Please make more of these in low carb and differant flavors such as banana or berry.

  93. kate says – reply to this


    93

    If i wanna get sedated I just need to log into perezhilton.com and read the boring news he keeps posting!

  94. elizab says – reply to this


    94

    i've had it before. it doesn't really do anything except make you a little sleepy. it tastes great, though!

  95. the lo says – reply to this


    95

    Re: 9 inch
    hahahahaaaa!

  96. NINEDO says – reply to this


    96

    Im a delivery driver for this drink and some guy in the state of IL by the name of Obama just ordered a truck full of this shit.

  97. PURPLE says – reply to this


    97

    They left out the part about how "Drank" is (purposely!!!) much like a popular street concoction called "purple drank"…made from the mixing of Sprite and CODEINE cough syrup. For real! :) WHAT A SELLING POINT!

  98. khhhhh says – reply to this


    98

    Valerian root makes burps takes like dirt.

  99. Psycho says – reply to this


    99

    Diet Drank sounds right up my alley.

  100. missze says – reply to this


    100

    oooh i can't wait to try it…..i suffer from extreme anxiety……might help me calm down some and i wont have to take my lorazepam…..

More comments: [1] 2 »