This Is Not A Joke
Filed under: Etc.
In 2012, Germany will be the home to a bible-themed theme park.
The biblical Disneyland will group some 40 attractions over an area the size of 70 football fields encompassing all areas of the Christian story, according to reports.
The centerpiece will be an "original size" Noah's Ark, which is 490 feet long and surrounded by water.
Glad God was able to channel down the exact dimension's of Noah's Ark to the park's architects!
Other attractions will include two roller coasters — one giving an idea of the Great Flood and another on the theme of heaven and hell — a miniature version of Biblical-era Israel and a Roman amphitheater.
It's all sounds so Old Testament.
In the New Testament section they should totally have a ride called "What Would Jesus Do?"!
hey
theres already a bible theme park in florida…
That was an episode of Simpsons.
thats kinda cool. not bias at all …
first!!
Uh, Perez, the dimension are in the Bible
UMM Perez, there is already a biblical theme park in Orlando FLorida, this isnt nothing new!!
there are plans for a bible park in tennessee too.
first
Perez, the exct dimensions of noahs ark are listed in the bible. Hahaha four years of catholic religion taught me that. Its listed as cubits but one cubit is so many feet
Primera en Español!!!
Creo que es una buena idea yo lo disfrutaria mucho , si es que alguna vez me dan la visa para Alemania lo cual es imposible con las nuevas leyes de migracion.
first?
And the dimmensions are in the bible. Strange but true!
AWESOME! AND ON THEIR "HELL" RIDE, THEY SHOULD BURN REAL FAGS AND CHILD MOLESTERS!
I'd go! Sounds neat. The Roman ampitheater would be New Testament
perezito.. the dimensions of the arc are in the bible dork face…. go read it sometime
Your side comments makes you sound………extremely ignorant
hi shsh, wanna do it???
Actually, the dimensions of the ark are in the bible. So they could build it to a reasonably close size.
Perez … Are you TRYING for a one way ticket to hell? I mean really make fun of celebs being stupid, fine. But the Bible? Come on!
The exact dimensions of Noah's arc are in the Bible. God was very specific.
The Heaven and Hell part is so wrong
Should be called "What WOULDN'T Jesus do!?" and it'd be an extreme thrill ride.
Read the bible idiot and it has the dimensions in it.
SECOND!!!
uh, they already have Holy Land. It's located here in Orlando. So, this isn't really news or new.
Get the hell outta here, no shit?
Perez you dumbass, it give the dimensions of Noah's ark in the Bible.
OMG!! 1St!!!
What? This sounds like the Simpsons episode where Flanders builds the God theme park in memory of Maude. Ah!
Actually, the ark's complete dimensions are in the bible. Every good atheist knows this, Perez!
Perez…the exact dimensions are in the Torah/Bible. Historians have been able to use the conversions for a while. Maybe you should read it sometime.
Just sayin'.
first
FIRST
and that is freaking weird. a waste of energy? yes
well i suppose it's something new to do…
most probably go on all the fare rides haha!
Umm no prob here with this!
God didn't have to "channel down" dimensions of Noah's Ark, Perez. The dimensions are in the bible.
POST VIRGINITY
Hey! God did channel the exact measurements PP it's in THE BIBLE!! Duh! Try reading it sometime, it does have some good stuff in it
Ned Flanders already did this. HA!
The Red Sea parting would be a great water ride!!
hahaha!! thats so retarded!! Freakin gay!!!! Lol, what would Jesus do!! So stupid!
You're so ignorant. The dimensions are in the book, you fool. I've never even read the damn thing and even **I** know that. Nearly every time you open your mouth, P, you sound like an idiot who doesn't even live here.
Sounds like that episode of the Simpsons - remember when Ned built the same type of theme park! Go Germany!
first?
ksjfh
duh, the exact measurements for the ark are in the bible
are you serious? i dont know if its cool or not…
Perez I'm not religious but the bible gives the exact dimensions of the ark.
The WWJD attraction can be a carnival game!
Disneyland already has something like this—it's called FantasyLand!
I suppose when the roller coaster flies off it's track into the crowd it will be all part of "God's plan".
This already exists in Orlando, Fl. Right next to Disney. It's called Holy Land Experience.
The exact dimesions of the Ark ARE in the Bible dumbass. The measurements were in cubits. Why don't you try fact finding before you open your mouth.
The dimensions are in the Bible. Read it some time.
WE HAVE THE 'HOLY LAND' HERE IN ORLANDO. ME AND MY GAY LOVER DO IT THERE UNDERNEATH SOME BLEACHERS THEY HAVE. OH YEAH, GAY RELATIONS IN THE HOLY LAND.
That last statement is one of the best things you ever said Perez. Unfortunately, people do not focus of Jesus' teachings sometimes, just the hellfire and damnation. So sad.
They ripped this idea off from the "Simpsons."
.
I wonder if they'll be installing the Maude Flanders hallucinogenic-gas spewing statue so tourists can get visions!
Re: Cory – THE BEBLE IS FOR QUEERS
Re: Animal – OR FROM YOUR MOM
I know you were cracking a joke, but the exact dimensions of the Ark ARE in the Bible. That's how they know.
i see a lot of christians read your website perez. i dont understand why they do. if you dont like it dont look at it. oh religious people how silly they are
Um… they're probably just using the size of the Ark given in Genesis… they didn't just make it up.
The same thing already exists in orlando. Go to www.theholylandexperience.com to check it out.
Re: ItsMe – Yeah…..and everyone got stoned on gas!!
Uh, the exact dimensions of the ark are in the bible. Not exactly weird to have them.
What a waste of space! All based on fairy tales….
Shit! Now I know the world is going to end soon for sure : (
This is nothing new, they have one in Florida near Disney called "the Holyland Experience they have a "Jesus" who walks through the park (sort of liek a parade) on his way to being crucified.
I think they're building one in Tennessee too.
it's called holyland in orlando……….
read about the flood and you will see the dimensions for the ark. i would assume that's how the architechts got the dimensions.
You all need to leave Perez alone. From what I gather, it is making fun of how all these people are profiting off of God's word and yet somehow God is not getting any of it and I doubt the parks are going to share the wealth. Another "send a little money, there's a tax on Jesus" schemes!
This sounds so stupid… AND SCARY?!
The world is going to end in 2012 anways— according to the Mayan Calendar— so maybe this is like— the final party?
Reading the comments here proves that christians are hypocrites. You're not supposed to be reading a celebrity gossip site like this.
We already have one of these here in Orlando, called the "Holy Land Experience" and they've already filed for bankruptcy once… they can't make any money because NO ONE FUCKING CARES! And hello… this is the Theme Park Capital of the World… if people here aren't stupid enough to pay for this shit, what makes them think Europeans will. Do yourselves a favor and skip it.
Perez, you just showed the world you don't know jack shit about the Bible. Even people who know very little about the Old Testament know the exact dimensions for the Ark are in Genesis.
Perez, you godless heathen sodomite (but we luv ya!)
The Ark's exact dimensions are in the book of Genesis…..read, darling!
Re: mike –
I guess it s a good thing I'm not Christian eh?
maybe they should do the 'sodom and gommorh' roller coster ride….where you go sit in a car and go deep into a shit hole - it would be so much fun cause children would learn the pleasures of anal sex in an educational yet in a non judgemental, non homophobic fashion.
All the other theme parks are based on fantasy, why not this one?
It would be great if all the people who believe in god would take care of people in need instead of creating theme parks and enriching churches. How very christian of them.
FINALLY! SOmeone read the part of the bible that Jesus was a capitalist, and the way to heaven is through the "Holy Land Amusement Park." This in no way will dimenish spirituality, or cause any kind of grief with any other religions in the world. Maybe we should build one in Iraq too. Just think of all the food service jobs that would be created for all Iraqi's. They will give us roses, and chocolates just for getting them a job.
this sounds pretty neat, and i'm not christian lol
And the best part to all this will be the added ability to baptize the masses lickity split on the "John the Baptist Holy Water Coaster" ride.
Yeah let's mock the beliefs of others but insult anyone who doesn't agree with you beliefs. EQUALITY FOR EVERYONE remember? so shut the fuck up. they have as much right to trumpet their beliefs as you do yours.
Um, I hate to break this to you Perez, but the exact dimensions of the ark ARE ALREADY IN THE BIBLE. Try reading about it.
Perez, have you ever read the bible? You're comments are so demented. A Roman ampitheater would be new testament! I think it would be cool too, I would go!
ay perezito. las dimensiones de la arca de noe están escritas exactamente en la Biblia.
The Bible gives the exact dimensions. Cubits and whatnot.
Yeah they are kinda slow on that..here in Orlando we already have The HolyLand Experience.. a bible theme park and let me tell ya, it gets tons of business!
WWJD????? WTF…..I don't know if he would like holy rollers profiting off him.
Um, as a Catholic, I know - as many others do too - that the exact dimensions of the Ark are in the Bible.
Moron.
Hey Perez…the Bible does tell you the exact size of the Ark..read the book before you comment next time
Perez, you disapoint me! If the theme park is bible based then infact the archetects would know the exact diminsions of the ark. It is stated in the bible. Didnt they do this on the Simpsons? What was it called?
"Glad God was able to channel down the exact dimension's of Noah's Ark to the park's architects!"
If you ever bothered to read the Bible you would know that the dimensions of the Ark are in it.
You know, they're trying to put one here in Middle Tennessee, too. So far, it's a no go though.
Re: Jesus –
hehehe good one, but seriously you gotta 86 these guys just like the money changers.
The dimension's of the ark are in the Bible. If you'd read it, you'd know.
Didn't the Mayans believe that the world would end in 2012? I guess this is why.
I would hate to be the kids that get dragged to this theme park…LOL you walk around the park and all the kids are sobbing and screaming, "NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO SIT ON NOAH'S ARK!"
Um, if you did your research, you'd know that you CAN pin down the exact measurements of the ark. Do your homework!
I threw up the last time I rode on Jacob's ladder. Urgh.
It's a little quirky, but I'd go. If anything - just to check out their versions of heaven and hell! And actually, scientists have been able to figure out the exact dimensions of Noah's infamous Ark - according to the Bible, if, in fact, you believe in the Bible.
Just sayin'…