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Behind The 'Snub'

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TV's Inside Edition caught up with Estelle Getty's son, Carl, to get to the bottom of why the living Golden Girls skipped out on her funeral.

Carl told the show, "They would certainly have been welcome. I don't know why they wouldn't be attending mom's funeral. Maybe it's a painful thing…As for the rest of them you're going to have to ask them how they felt about it and why they did or didn't come."

Inside Edition took Carl's advice and reached out to the ladies.

Bea "Dorothy" Arthur, told the show she's been grieving for years over Getty's long decline due to dementia, and could not deal with the emotion of a funeral: "She's been out of it so many years, not recognizing anyone. It's a Godsend. She's at peace."

Rue "Blanche" McClanahan, said that she couldn't attend the funeral because she recently had surgery: "I'd like them to know that I didn't [attend the funeral] because I can't fly right now with knee surgery. I don't know why Betty and Bea didn't go, maybe because they, too, have said their goodbyes to her when she was alive."

The show did not speak with Betty White, but they learned that she sent a bouquet of flowers with a card that read, "Love, Betty White." In quotes she added the name of her character on the show, "Rose."

And there you have it.

Estelle's son seems to have perceived the absences as a snub, though. Says Carl: "If it was someone I'd been tight with like that and worked with all those years I'd have been there."

What do U think????

[Image via WENN.]

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303 comments to “Behind The 'Snub'”

More comments: [1] 2 3 4 »

  1. asdas says – reply to this


    1

    Who cares about those old bags? NEXT!



  2. 2

    awww thats stinky
    but the cute jester by betty was nice..rose.

  3. greeg says – reply to this


    3

    1st!!

  4. Liza says – reply to this


    4

    These are really old women, cut them some slack!

  5. shaz says – reply to this


    5

    firrrst

  6. Krist says – reply to this


    6

    They totally should've gone to support her family. Even if they'd already "grieved" or said their goodbyes, a funeral is for the remaining family as well. That's disrespectful, in my opinion. Surgery is surgery, but the other two? Not good excuses.

  7. Gina says – reply to this


    7

    Omg am I first?
    Probably not
    10 ten??

  8. robin says – reply to this


    8

    Estelle Getty was a classy lady. She was a great actress, unlike some of the skanks of today. May she rest in peace.

  9. Jason says – reply to this


    9

    I think they should have gone if they were able.

  10. sad says – reply to this


    10

    How sad - I think they should have gone. Especially the two in LA.

  11. cassi says – reply to this


    11

    thank you for being a friend….those wild women

  12. SHANA says – reply to this


    12

    I WOULD HAVE WENT TO THE SERVICE TO SHOW THE FAMILY SOME RESPECT EVEN IF I HAD SAID MY GOODBYES TO ESTELLE ALREADY!

  13. summe says – reply to this


    13

    Awwwwwww, God bless all of them!!!



  14. 14

    lame excuses.. they should have 1. called her son and expressed their condolences or 2 sent some sort of heart felt note with flowers. I'm surprised that betty white's bouquet was so cold. I didnt know estelle getty's but i can think of something a bit more heartfelt than love, betty white. bitches please.

  15. cono says – reply to this


    15

    Geriatric snub!

  16. Andy says – reply to this


    16

    Just because they didn't show at the funeral, doesn't mean they don't care. I didn't go to my best friends funeral when he got shot. It's not because I didn't love him, it's because I couldn't deal with it.

  17. Brian says – reply to this


    17

    That's a snub. How dare they not go to the funeral and they live in the same town. Whether they said their goodbyes before or not, you go the the funeral to pay respect to the rest of the family. Bad Bea Arthur!!!!! Bad Betty White~!!!

  18. gravy says – reply to this


    18

    They gave good reasons. Not a snub. And nobody gives a shit if you post 1st. What are you, 8 years old? Idiots.

  19. there says – reply to this


    19

    RIP..
    The Golden Girls was one of the best shows ever…
    much love and respect goes out to her friends and family..

  20. adurr says – reply to this


    20

    comment #2 - jester? what an idiot!

  21. JLove says – reply to this


    21

    I think they should of gone and paid their respect.

  22. Megan says – reply to this


    22

    Well Jewish funerals are always very suden and I can understand why people who are out of state might not come. Plus they are all like in their 80's so I would think it would be hard to just hop on a plane like that. I forgive them but I would hope they all called the family & sent flowers.

  23. world says – reply to this


    23

    where is the great BATHOG i miss the most talented blogger in the universe

  24. Steph says – reply to this


    24

    As far as Betty and Bea, everyone knows in the industry that they HATE each others guts. That hasnt been a secret for years. Im almost positive that they didnt attend for fear of seeing each other. Rue, on the other hand, I can flow with the idea of her being sick and all.
    But I think out of proper respect for Estelle they should have ALL been there!

  25. lolag says – reply to this


    25

    This is SO sad…. wish them all well!

  26. Erin says – reply to this


    26

    Bea and Betty are both 86 years old - maybe they don't as easily as they once did. If the love is there (which it obviously is), then respect that and stop looking for conflict.

  27. Jupej says – reply to this


    27

    You must remember that all of those women are in their late 70's and early 80's… it's not that easy for them to travel on a moment's notice @ their ages. Think of your grandparents… would they travel across the country to a funeral of someone they worked with for 7 or 8 years more than 15 years ago? I wouldn't and I'm in my 40's. Just a thought

  28. Lee says – reply to this


    28

    Their reasons are their reasons. No need to say they're disrespectful. May Estelle Getty rest in peace.

  29. Erin says – reply to this


    29

    Bea and Betty are both 86 years old - maybe they don't travel as easily as they once did. If the love is there (which it obviously is), then respect that and stop looking for conflict.

  30. AMS says – reply to this


    30

    I think it is in very poor taste not to attend the funeral. Having surgery is one thing, "grieving" and not being supportive is another. Show up and be of service to the family or just attend for support!!!



  31. 31

    Lack of class, ladies. I'd have to believe she'd have been there for you.
    Just sad.

  32. Marcy says – reply to this


    32

    Well, Bea, Rue and Betty are also in their 80's, and having a mom in her 80's as well, I can understand how they would not be able to attend. Emotions do take their toll on an ederly person. Also having to sit in a plane for 5 hours is hard on anyone, let alone an ederly person. I am sure they did not have any ill intentions, by not attending. Hope Estelle's family can understand.

  33. Lunae says – reply to this


    33

    I don't think they snubbed her. It's clear that they were thinking about the situation and about Estelle. It's very hard to say goodbye to someone that you knew well and have very fond memories of. This is especially true when that person has suffered for so many years and has changed so much due to something as awful as dementia. It's almost like they're not the same person anymore, and that can be very painful. I think they want to remember her as the beautiful person that she was, instead of someone who was suffering.



  34. 34

    They are fukking old ladies, they are probably afraid to catch the death
    themselves. You dont have to attend a funeral to mourn, get over it!

  35. Tim says – reply to this


    35

    I definitely would have been there! Working together for so long, they must've had a close bond and that's grounds to attend the funeral for sure!

  36. Bob says – reply to this


    36

    Re: asdas

    Who cares about your dumb ass? STFU!

  37. BGo says – reply to this


    37

    I think everyone deals with grief in their own way, and we shouldn't be concerned with whether or not so-and-so showed up. Grieving, too, is private, and it's the three women's right to do so in the manner in which they feel comfortable.

    So they didn't show up. That doesn't mean they didn't love or miss her. Unless you have a friend, parent or grandparent with dementia, you probably won't understand. It's an extremely painful disease for the family and friends, because the woman that they remember was long gone before she physically passed away.

    Let's give Bea, Betty and Rue some space. Estelle had her family there for her when she needed them, and it was them who should have been at the funeral to pay tribute.



  38. 38

    Well, it's obvious the family of EG didn't know them all that well - so going for the family isn't exactly a good reason. If they didn't even know Rue had surgery, then it's not like they have to go to support the family. Not everyone likes funerals, and not everyone believes in them. To each his own.

  39. Jen says – reply to this


    39

    They probably already said goodbye in their own way…they are too old to travel anymore. When you get to be that age, death is an everyday occurence. I am sure they are grieving.

  40. Alann says – reply to this


    40

    Let's not cause drama over a 80 something year old's funeral.

  41. renee says – reply to this


    41

    i loved the golden girls and estelle's character…i see it definately as a snub and they should be ashamed of themselves for not attending the funeral…at least betty white sent flowers. just because u had surgery or have been "grieving" doesnt mean u cant send flowers or something!!!

  42. dyana says – reply to this


    42

    Grieving is a very personal thing, and circumstances surrounding her death (death by degree dementia) is a horrible thing for family and friends as well as the patient. I wonder about her son's motive for discussing their absences more than I wonder about why they were absent.

    Estelle had not been "Estelle" for the past 10 years. The Golden Girls had plenty of time to say their goodbyes and I say God Bless, and thanks for all the laughs.

  43. Beesl says – reply to this


    43

    Everyone has their own way of dealing with a loss.

  44. sunsh says – reply to this


    44

    Of course they should have gone………what hypocriates! All over the news how sad they were…….they are phony.

  45. KL says – reply to this


    45

    To be honest, the women they knew died a long time ago :( perhaps they said goodbyes to her years ago. The funeral is just to bury the body, Estelle's spirit is not bound by a box. It would have nice that they showed up, but the explanations they gave were reasonable. It might not be easy or comfortable for them to travel, none of these women are young, in fact all of them are older than Estelle..they were fricken' Golden Girls 20 years ago!

  46. renee says – reply to this


    46

    Re: KimmySita – ur a bitch!

  47. Krist says – reply to this


    47

    I think grief is a personal thing and people shouldn't make such judgments. My father didn't even go to his own mother's funeral - he couldn't deal. It's ridiculous for people to say negative things - everybody handles things in their own way.

    Estelle was a beautiful person and was loved by all who worked with her. I'm sure there are MANY who didn't attend in person, but who grieved just the same.



  48. 48

    they are very old, give them a break….at that age people start dropping-and you just cant always make it…….i agree there goodbyes were said long ago.

  49. Ange says – reply to this


    49

    It's very understandable why they did not attend. As an avid Golden Girl fan, it's easy to see how close they all were. Why go back for painful memories? They already said their goodbyes.

  50. ashle says – reply to this


    50

    Just because the ladies didn't go doesn't mean they didn't care. The ladies are old as well, leave them be.

  51. ashle says – reply to this


    51

    Re: Erin

    I agree.

  52. golde says – reply to this


    52

    Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan and Betty White are all older than Estelle even was. It's not always easy to travel at such ages. The funeral is part of the closure process and serves the purpose for family and friends to grieve. The other golden ladies have lost many loved ones during their lifetimes and understand loss. They expressed their love for Estelle while she was still alive and aware…that is the most important thing. Her son may have felt it was a snub but it wasn't. He himself is grieving over the loss of his mother…and for many that is one of the most awful experiences to have to suffer through.

    God bless them all!

  53. Bruce says – reply to this


    53

    They should have been there. Period. That's what decent people do.

  54. Mel says – reply to this


    54

    NOT A SNUB - I saw and heard these women together when she had the first stages and even when she was advanced. I believe their reasoning because I believe there was real love there.

  55. baldp says – reply to this


    55

    The four people who went to her funeral was more than went to Perez clothing debut at hot topic :)

  56. KATH says – reply to this


    56

    I just watched the tribute shows on Lifetime. Thry were really cute and I would have gone to her funeral if allowed. Shame on the cast for not going. It is really a disapointment that they are so immature and can still be bitches at their age. Grow up Golden Girls.

  57. surfe says – reply to this


    57

    I dont see it as disrespectful. Everyone should be able to grieve as they see fit. It is a personal decision and nobody else's business, even her son's. he was not a part of her relationship with these women and so does not know how they each feel.

    I do think it is amazing how if something is to be interpreted (such as the meaning of the no-show) Perez always jumps to the worst possible conclusion! I guess this is not a journalistic site, but a gossip mongering one, so there is no need for ethics, just trash talk. Bad Karma………………

  58. laure says – reply to this


    58

    It's a pretty well known fact that Estelle Getty was the least trained of all these actresses and that while taping each episode she had a very hard time remembering her lines and they had to cue her. It's also a very well known fact that Bea Arthur can be well….let's say maybe she wasn't that "close" to Estelle. Let's face it….sad as it is…in Hollywood the term "friend" is used VERY LOOSELY!

  59. karen says – reply to this


    59

    Yes, dementia or Alzheimer's is the long goodbye while the victim is alive but no reason for Bea or Betty not to attend. Perhaps they didn't wanna b reminded of their own mortality? Rue had a valid excuse. My dad in law had Alzheimer's and my mom in law had dementia; did that mean I was off the hook for the funerals? Ridiculous and I think I'd call Betty/Bea 'Tarnished' Girls, not quite so golden.

  60. suz says – reply to this


    60

    I would've at least called…

  61. hater says – reply to this


    61

    She was snubbed. Surgery might be an excuse, but the others aren't.
    They just didn't care enough.

  62. T.K. says – reply to this


    62

    What do I think?
    I think the lot of them were old, ugly, and untalented and the sooner all four of them join the sweet hereafter, the better it will be for the rest of us.
    The old bats are taking up too much space…especially that old guy, Bea Arthur.

  63. renee says – reply to this


    63

    Re: Lee – they still could've sent flowers!!!!

  64. Liz says – reply to this


    64

    If they didn't go- that's their freaking business. Carl needs to STFU. I think it's even more sad that he's out there selling this story. Make some more off the old lady! RIP!



  65. 65

    Funerals aren't for everyone. Just because you loved someone doesn't mean you are obligated to attend their families death rituals :)

  66. kurt says – reply to this


    66

    What do I think? I think you're a Shit Stirrer!
    www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shit+stirrer

  67. monia says – reply to this


    67

    her son shouldnt be upset. sometimes that isnt how you want to remeber someone. you want to remeber them when they were alive.

  68. HAM says – reply to this


    68

    HArdly a snub! Didn't U hear what Bea Arther said!?!? I lovce ALL the Golden Girls Cast (yes even Stan) and I'm sure they all had their reasons! ♥

  69. renee says – reply to this


    69

    Re: Ange – they still could've sent flowers!!!

  70. WTF says – reply to this


    70

    i THINK THAT THEY ARE GREIVING IN THEIR OWN WAY…YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SOMEONE'S FUNERAL I FYOU CAN'T HANDLE IT…FUNERALS ARE FOR THE LIVING……THE DECEASED ARE GONE

  71. sarah says – reply to this


    71

    i dont like going to funerals. it isnt a snub to the loved ones that i have lost or their families. i would just like my memories of that person be of that person alive…not lying in a casket. it is my personal choice. there are others ways to show that person and their family your respect.

  72. renee says – reply to this


    72

    Re: T.K. – u suck!

  73. Babyg says – reply to this


    73

    They should have been there! No excuses!!!! To work with someone for so many years!! They should have said there Good byes!! In person!!!

  74. Raele says – reply to this


    74

    I work in a Dementia facility and I see this happen to many people, its like they find it too hard to watch someone they care about diminish in front of them so they let go early before the person is even gone then they dont see a point in re-living all the pain of letting go all over again. Its a very sad situation for all.



  75. 75

    Besides "Blanch" everyone else should have come to show some respect. Old Hags!

  76. lilio says – reply to this


    76

    Should have gone. They're not THAT old…

  77. Ankel says – reply to this


    77

    Oh my gosh they are like 80+ themselves. Give them some slack! Good grief it's not like they didn't care about her. She didn't remember who they were the last few years anyway. How rude of her son. Lets see him travel when he's over 80

  78. barf says – reply to this


    78

    even if they couldn't make it..it would have been a nice gesture to call up the family and convey their condolences… Those women were graceless.

  79. Guy says – reply to this


    79

    They are very elderly women, dont forget that. They loved her dearly, but traveling at this age…

  80. Mya says – reply to this


    80

    The ladies are old and it's true that maybe they can't travel with ease and there's more to this than meets the eye…….., because otherwise, they really should have attended the funeral! I'll give them the benefit of doubt here, they're old.

  81. conce says – reply to this


    81

    They all had their reasons. The point is they are all up in their 80"s and maybe can't get around as well. Hopfully they sent flowers or cards of condolences. Whatever the reason. Ms Getty is in a better place. Why do people look for trouble DAMNIT.

  82. Kat says – reply to this


    82

    Everyone should be allowed to grieve how they want to. Not attending a funeral does not mean you did not love or care for that person.

  83. fraul says – reply to this


    83

    dude. it's a body. it's a decaying corpse. Funerals are insane, and one doesn't need to attend one to PROVE to other people that they respected or loved someone. That's total B.S. for that dude to accuse her friends of that.

  84. renee says – reply to this


    84

    Re: Kat – …still could've sent flowers…

  85. GG Fa says – reply to this


    85

    I think that Rue is the only one with a decent excuse. I am very disappointed in Bea Arthur. I thought she had more class than that. I hardly think that describing someone that you worked closely with for all of those years as, "out of it" is really kind or appropriate. I think she and Betty White should have gone. I mean, what else have they got to do?



  86. 86

    should have ATLEAST sent flowers like betty did but I would have gone…regardless of surgery.



  87. 87

    what a slap in the face!

  88. bip says – reply to this


    88

    Perez leave them the fuck alone. They are in the mid 80s. I'm sure on heaven's door you want to be asked about your friend's death. Leave them alone.

  89. Riz says – reply to this


    89

    Everyone grieves differently. It's nobody's fkn business why they weren't there.

  90. Laura says – reply to this


    90

    Betty & Bea should have gone & Rue should have sent flowers or some type of charitable donation. I know Betty went & saw her when she was sick as she talked about it. Even though death is hard it brings comfort to the family to go to the funeral & say goodbye. It was selfish of Bea & Betty not to attend the funeral. I have not dealt w/ death a lot but I have learned a lot from my parents experiences. Even though it is hard they always go & visit others in the hospital & bring flowers. They also either attend the funerals of even acquaintenances they have known over the years or send flowers if they can't attend. Last summer the father of a childhood friend of mine died. I heard about it & attended the funeral. I hand't been close w/ this girl or her family in 10 yrs. It meant so much to the entire family that I was there as I had spent so many years hanging out at their house. It brought back a lot of good memories for them & me too even though it was sad. Small gestures really do touch others.

  91. Mrgrt says – reply to this


    91

    Everybody handles death differently and I don't think anyone should be judged for this. Me, for example, I don't even believe in funerals. I don't need to see their made-up, bloated corpse to say goodbye. I prefer my last memory of the person to be when they were alive and well.

  92. Tony says – reply to this


    92

    I think if Carl was gonna get that steamed about it, he shoulda reached out to them.
    .
    Like, pick up the phone guys. If INSIDE EDITION can do it, so can Carl.
    .
    Same goes for the GG's — they coulda phoned Carl.
    .
    People, don't miss the opportunity to say "I love you"
    .
    It matters

  93. ugh says – reply to this


    93

    These women are in their 80's for gods sake. Funerals are not for the dead. They are for the living. Who are they to say how someone should grieve???

  94. chees says – reply to this


    94

    They all gave very valid reasons for not attending. Traveling these days doesn't make it any easier for anyone, much less a senior citizen (flights being cancelled due to current airline instability, baggage problems, security challenges and long lines at the airport). All challenges for even the most seasoned of fliers.
    Also, their attendance might have created a brief media frenzy and a paparazzi free-for-all. I'm sure the family would not have wanted that for the funeral.

  95. Trixi says – reply to this


    95

    People deal with the loss of friends and loved ones very differently. Sometimes it's just too difficult to see them lying in a casket.

  96. t says – reply to this


    96

    When my grandmother's best friend had passed away, she didn't attend the funeral because she was grieving so much, she was afraid the pain of seeing her lie dead would be too much to bear. Also, old folks know that they're going to die soon, they're scared to actually face it with their long time friend lying in a casket.

  97. Amy says – reply to this


    97

    Ya know none of them are exactly spring chickens. Maybe they have their own health issues that kept them from attending.

  98. Sarah says – reply to this


    98

    Carl is just trying to cause trouble. Let the woman rest. There is no need to speak to the media about anything on his part. They had their own reasons. Was he upset just because not enough celebrities showed up? I'm not sure. But leave it be! No need for ANYONE *cough* PEREZ *cough* to start trouble!

  99. Don says – reply to this


    99

    DISGUSTING, she was always the least famous of the three going into the show and going out - yet she made the show and made her co stars bigger stars by her talent. They could at least have attended the funeral out of respect for her and give her a send off. She may not have known who she was at the end but death and, in turn, her life would have gotten more coverage - that would have been nice. Time for SPIN control ladies….. public memorial time….

  100. Scott says – reply to this


    100

    I understand where Betty and Bea are coming from. Everyone is saying they had no excuse not to go, but they did. Their best friend has in a way been gone for a few years now and they said their goodbye's while Estelle was still alive. They want their last image of Estelle to be her smiling face and glowing personality - not a lifeless body in a casket

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