Police in Oregon have arrested a 74-year old NUDE sunbather, Donald Joseph Kenney (mugshot above), for assault.
According to Oregon State Police, the victim, a 45-year old southeast Portland man, told officers he accidently stumbled upon the nude beach on his inflatable raft with three girls and one boy, ages 7 – 10, when things went terribly wrong.
"Two small Chihuahua dogs ran from his raft onto the beach and continued about 100 yards toward the area of a nude male sunbather where the victim saw the man hitting the dogs with what appeared to be a stick," Hastings said.
"The nude suspect allegedly walked toward the victim and children then raised his arm up holding a can of mace. The victim backed up, causing him to trip and fall backwards, at which time the nude suspect struck the victim in the head, torso and right leg with what was later determined to be a collapsible baton."
Don't mess with seniors y'all!
They'll eff your shiz up!