Pissing Off His Employers
Filed under: Film Flickers > Kate Hudson > When Celebrities Blog > Alec Baldwin > Dane Cook
Dane Cook hates the poster for his new movie, and he wants the world to know about it!
The actor just posted the following on his official blog:
"Dear Diary
Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, "My Best Friends Girl," is the best / funniest film I've done yet. It's got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It's a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.
That being said, let me address the fact that although I'm not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting. I'd like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.
Here are a few things that truly blow about my upcoming movie poster to promote the release of the film opening on September 19th:
1. Graphics:
Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with
3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using "You Suck at Photoshop" templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.
2. My head:
The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears' vagina.
3. The Stare.
My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudsons hair. Kate's mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half stunned, half corsage.
4. Lips:
It looks like I'm wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My characters name is now Winter Solstice and I'm a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!
5. Fashion:
My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It's going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I'm also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.
6. Flesh:
It's no secret that I'm more rugged facially due to a drunken visit by the teen acne fairy, but according to this poster I've got perfect porcelain flesh. I look like the fuckin' bathroom floor at Caesars Palace. One of Marie Osmond's dolls would look at me and say "shit … that guys got flawless skin!"
7. Hair:
It's actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin'.
8. The set:
Pick one. This entire film takes place:
A. on Gattaca
B. at the Fortress of Solitude
C. inside a crystal wind chime
9. The cast:
Alec Baldwin is so fucking funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching.
10. Final thoughts:
I set out to make a movie like the contemporary men and women, that you and I respect, are making. My generation of comedians, actors, directors and producers that I wish to collaborate with as I build a solid body of work.
Granted, one poster stinking up the joint isn't the end of the world. Yet it sends the wrong message about our movie and I just wanted you to know, that I feel the pain. I really love the film and I know from past missteps marketing wise that the wrong poster sends the wrong audience into the theater.
Thanks again for all of your support. If you have not seen the red band trailer (which is excellent and represents the flick accordingly) click on the link at the top of this page.
PS - "Its funny what love can make you do." I just threw up all over this awful poster.
Wow, wait … it looks better.
Hey … I love my new movie. Jeez … it IS funny what love can make you do."
AM I FIRST??? LOL
Hes right! And Dane Cook is amazing!
If you are starring in the movie, I guess you should have some part in choosing the cover. Dane Cook is my hero and I cannot wait to see this movie.
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Shit, I have to agree with this joke thief. Title Treatment sucks too. We have some great designers in hollywood. This looks like something Texas would crap out.
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He makes some good points… Not that his employer wants to hear that but…
Screw the poster. I think Dane Cook should worry about the fact that probably nobody will pay to see some stupid romantic comedy. First, his last movie bombed. Second, Kate Hudson has a big hit since "Almost Famous". Third, rom-coms suck.
Ok, I'm not a huge Dane Cook In fact, I hear he's a diva and a sort of a dick. However, the poster really does suck and his little rant is kind of funny. Alec Baldwin should get a spot on the poster.
Lighten up Perez.
Dane Cook is so f#@%ing funny
dane cook sucks. i can't stand him. he is not funny in the least. if you want a real comedy see stepbrothers or really anything without dane cook.
Hahaha
I LOVE Dane Cook!! And although I agree about what he says, and it made me laugh, I kind of think he should have kept his beautiful porcelain mouth shut. His movies never do that great, so he's probably worried that the stupid poster is going to make a difference whether the movie is a success or not. If they were smart, they would've taken the stupid whore off and put Alek Baldwin there.
Why does my beautiful Dane always have to have slutty dumbasses as his costars?
It's almost as the print ad for "Bride of Chucky" and they look almost as good. This movie may put me on "Top Of The World", if I go to see it.
Sorry…sorry, but ah…nothing with that Kate Hudson dude in it can't be the "best" anything.
Narcassistic much Dane?????
Who is Dane Cook?
thats hilarious lol.. dane cook isnt an asshole.. then again who isnt an asshole in hollywood..
I LOVE DANE AND HE'S FRIGGIN FUNNY!
He's got a point, look at Kate Hudson's arm…
I have just a high school education and I can do better than that.
I believe I might watch this.
Hilarious. He's gonna be in so much shit. hahaha It does look like they took 3 random pictures and slapped them together though.
i have to agree with him and yeah he is funny as hell
He's got very valid points! Doesn't hurt he made them funny in his delivery. xD
Jesus, it's not THAT bad. A little boring, yes, but he needs to calm down.
He's hilarious! Just reading his blog makes me want to see the movie, which I otherwise wouldn't
why do ppl find this guy funny?
CUZ HES NOT
that is the funniest thing ever…and i totally agree with it all. I think the people behind this poster need to quit their day job!!
well, it does look like crap.
OMG Dane's being eaten by Kate Hudson's ginormous arm!
well, he's right!
Dude, get over yourself.
Dane Cook is a super Douche! He is NOT funny and is rather annoying.
LOL DONNIE HOYLE
"4. Lips:
It looks like I'm wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My characters name is now Winter Solstice and I'm a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!" Now that had me laughing!
I have to admit this blog posting is pretty hilarious..but I wouldn't see the movie anyway..he should just stick to being a comedian
i think he is just mad that the poster makes the movie look like a chick flick which in all honesty the movie probably is and he just doesnt want to admit it.
WOW ths guy is a RIOT!!!!! YEah he is funny. I am glad people say what they feel and write about it. Broke up my boring day.
Totally agree with his rant.. but I dont understand why he has to bring Britney into his complaining to illustrate a point about how he looks. Complain all you want about YOUR movie, YOUR poster, YOUR co-stars, whatever, just dont bring other people into it, Britney or otherwise.
everyone in the cast is hilarious. I LOVE alec in 30 rock! I cant wait to see the movie. With all of the action movies coming out, it's fun to see a new romantic comedy~ Dane is hilarious too.
Hey Dane, Your an Idiot !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why dont you steal some more material and act like its yours…………… What a bitch……..like the fact the picture is bad is going to act ticket sales………1st– DANE COOK CANT ACT!!!! 2nd— Kate Hudson cant act(name one movie she has done that wasnt a ROM-COM and last but not least 3rd—Jason Biggs, r u serious…..Dude should have went into TV instead of these lame movies and the American Pie/Band Camp/Shitty Movies…………
Oh, and BTW Doesnt this movie sound alot like That Dupree movie that Owen Wilson and Kate Slutson did a couple years ago………
Watch out Hollywood!!!!!!!!! Dane Cook no longer steals jokes……!!!!!! He has moved up in the world, he now steals others people's roles and others scripts………
Dane has a great sense of humor.
just goes to show, nothing is real in hollywood
haha, that IS funny. I wonder why actors have no say in how they are photoshopped. Thank goodness I gave up Hollywood when fame came knocking to be a stay at home mom
LOL! Awesome. If this movie is as funny as his post he might have a hit on his hands.
Re: Xandria – What she said!!
Alec Baldwin can't bring in ANY audience after that cellphone message he left his daughter — so why would they put the FAT FUCK's FACE on a poster? Don't have to be a Rocket Scientist to realize that one, Dane.
As for the poster matching the movie — uh, why was Doogie riding a unicorn to advertise Harold & Kumar 2??
dane cook isnt really that funny to me, kind of on the annoying side. but that little blog post was funny
OMG!! Dane Cook is so funny!!! He is so right!! The Magnum PI mustache on top of his head had me rolling!!!!!
Someone needs to get over himself and be grateful that he's even ON a poster.
He´s funny….his remarks about he wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick cracked me up.
lol
i love him..!!!
What DIVA! Get over yourself Cook you're not even funny. That's why your movies SUCK!
Dane: The studio didn't have much money left for marketing since they WAY overpaid each one of you to be in this movie.