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Beer Belly!

| Filed under: Jessica SimpsonBusiness Blitz

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Tres trash-shay!

Wannabe country singer Jessica Simpson is a Texas girl, through and through, even if Dallas Cowboys fans can't stand her.

In addition to being a Proactiv and hair extension hawking girl, in addition to having her own line of shoes and handbags, the buxom blonde is also going to be a beer whore!

The 'singer and actress' has signed on as spokeswoman for Stampede Light Plus, made by Dallas' Stampede Brewing Co.

Stampede Light bills itself as a beer for active people. H!!

Ashlee's big sis will appear in ads in stores for the beer and is taking a 15 percent stake in the brewer.

Joe Jessica Simpson said in a statement that as an entrepreneur she's "always looking for ways to diversify my portfolio with good ideas and good people."

Wonder what we'll be seeing next from Jess?

She should totally be the new KFC spokesbitch!

[Image via Mavrix Online.]

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72 comments to “Beer Belly!”



  1. 1

    The "trying to be country" look is so obvious. She needs to find a different look. she looks gross.



  2. 2

    FIRST!



  3. 3

    I predict she'll be the focus of a "Where Are They Now" article in People in approx 5 yrs.

  4. Minx says – reply to this


    4

    Leave Jessica alone

  5. Shine says – reply to this


    5

    At least she is making money, She looks like she is having a good time. I would just let her be. She is cute and doing her thing. I love country people.



  6. 6

    WELL, WHEN YOU DON'T SELL ALBUMS, SELL OTHER PRODUCTS. MAKES TOTAL SENSE, NO?



  7. 7

    Well, Perez, that's why you're gay…

    My hormones say something completely different!

    Ayayayyyy mamacita!



  8. 8

    this girl needs to go to rehab and do something meaningful with her life…



  9. 9

    aww…poor Jess…but I still do love her!



  10. 10

    soooooooo sick of her………. she is completely retarded



  11. 11

    You all need to leave Jess alone…no matter what she does she is still more successful then any of you will ever be (including Perez) And I think she is the only celebrity that keeps her mouth shut and never talks badly about anyone publicly.



  12. 12

    Next project: Breast implants or water bras so you too can look like a blow up doll?



  13. 13

    This chick is sooooo Lame. Tired of hearing about her.



  14. 14

    Its better than putting out a porn tape like Parasite.



  15. 15

    Beer Belly? Jessica Simpson is about as big as your flabby leg Perez. You really need a new shtick.



  16. 16

    JESSICA SIMPSON'S A POSER ;D
    YEE-HAW, BITCH



  17. 17

    Perez you are so rude and too judgemental.

    She is a southern girl from Texas…therefore she can dress like it and shouldn't be considered fake. Just because she originally started singing and it wasn't country doesn't mean she doesn't have the right too. She's more country than lots of people who sing or dress it from the north. She's such a beautiful and respectful girl with an amazing voice. So quite dissing her because she is more successful than all of us. I love Jessica Simpson!



  18. 18

    Anything for a buck since she has no singing career!



  19. 19

    I hav ealways loved jessica simpson and everyone used to tease me for loving her so much but i think she is can do whatever she wants and why the fuck would she need to go to rehab? why would anyone say that?



  20. 20

    Re: hottie – #10
    UNCALLED FOR……



  21. 21

    Chick needs to stop wearing them boots. Get something new, ferchrissake.



  22. 22

    every celeb that does anything for alcoholic beverages regret it. she'll be trying to distance herself from them soon.



  23. 23

    P, I'm not sure why you hate on Jessica so much. Obviously she is a smart lady…her dessert, handbag and shoe lines have garnered millions upon millions of dollars for her. R U Jelly a bit?
    btw - I'm a Texan, ain't nothin' better than Texas!!!!!!



  24. 24

    We ALL drink Beer in Texas….that's why we are one of the fattest states in the country…..but we are pretty happy all the time! :-)

  25. Sammy says – reply to this


    25

    I love her and think she is very smart for making the different investments!



  26. 26

    I'm glad, I'm not American, so I don't have to be ashamed!!!



  27. 27

    Hellllooooo- Wy would Ashlee appear in the ads she is pregnant- Not a very good move for a pregnant or New Mom to do-

    Leave Jessica alone pick on Ashlee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  28. 28

    Re: Shine – I also "love country" people, that's why I hate her…

  29. Sammy says – reply to this


    29

    Shes Texan and she has her Cowboy!!! Enough said!!!!



  30. 30

    looks like she's taking her spokeswoman duties seriously…it sure looks like she's been chugging a few back…



  31. 31

    …she looks ridiculous. At least if you want to crack the country charts after receiving, (clears throat) pop success, choose a good song. I did it with "Sweet, Sweet, Smile" when my pop career was in decline and it served us well.



  32. 32

    Re: scruffy914puppy

    Hellllooooo….it says Ashlee's big sis…meaning JESSICA!!!



  33. 33

    Re: longlelegs – ohhhhhhh don't be a silly bitch just fuck off instead



  34. 34

    Re: Texas Girl – I disagree. Just because someone is from Texas does not automatically make them more "country" than someone from the north. Jessica is doing nothing but following trends, as country music has an audience that buys albums more than pop.

    Also - scrap KFC, she already hawked for Pizza Hut!



  35. 35

    your kind of rude perez



  36. 36

    lol haha she could be da kfc bitch lol dats funny



  37. 37

    Whore being the operative term here!

    A total pathetic wannabe….sad



  38. 38

    YOUR JEALOUS PEREZ…………IS THAT HOW YOU GO TOUR BELLY

  39. D-Bag says – reply to this


    39

    She really needs to endorse "Wet" Lube since she likes to take it up the pooper so much!



  40. 40

    Just when i thought this family couldn't sell out an ounce more.. they sell 12.



  41. 41

    Re: Texas Girl – She might be from texas but she has been a city girl for the last 9 or 10 years. every since she moved out of texas she has never dressed country or even acted it. i mean c'mon she even hates camping!!!



  42. 42

    I'm not saying she is automatically more country. But she is a true southern girl who has every right to try and make it in country. I was just saying that she is more southern/country than some others out there who are making it big too. Just stop hating on her. Just because you're jealous you're not from Texas like us!



  43. 43

    Just because you're southern/country..etc doesn't mean you have to like camping..



  44. 44

    I'm from Texas.. live in a city.. rarely dress in boots.. but I have them…and if I feel like wearing them I'm damn sure I'm going to wear them.. that doesn't make me a poser.. it's just not my everyday attire.



  45. 45

    I think Jessica is cute as a button.
    A celebrity I'd love to go out for a drink with!



  46. 46

    she already did pizza hut - and they're affiliated w/kfc…yum! brands.

    it's not that far off…



  47. 47

    Yikes, sounds like she needs the cash….



  48. 48

    Well as usual Perez you just like to bash people you don't like not because there is really any merit to your bashing. She is a sweet person, and a very beautiful women. Leave her alone! Why don't you pick on stupid bitches like Paris? Oh wait that's cause you like her despite the fact that she is a self centered famous for nothing whore!



  49. 49

    I love her. I wish someone would have me be a spokeswoman for a beer company. (Preferably Killians) I bet she gets some free brew plus that 15%. Lucky Girl!



  50. 50

    Perez darling, she is cuntie. Please stop posting anything about this whore, mkay? Thanks sweetheart.

    xoxo, Isa



  51. 51

    she's so tacky



  52. 52

    She's so lame. I actually liked her the first season of Newlyweds, then she got all hollywood and fake. SELLOUT.



  53. 53

    I like how she's going all country and "getting back to her roots". Puh-lease, if she were going back to her roots, she'd be a b-sized brunette!



  54. 54

    Oh, please…she's pulling out the "Southern" attempting to get some cred in the country world. I mean, where was all of this when she was with Nick? And btw, "diversify my portfolio?" She said that. Suuuuure, Joe.



  55. 55

    dont worry nick wont get back with u no matter what… keep on eating and singing country.. ur doin great lol



  56. 56

    What beer belly?



  57. 57

    she is trying but not secseding looks like we got another britney on our hands , britney is geting better i cant lie but still not the same britney now jessica needs to stop wil she a head so she dont end up like her fighting off sopport for her dog !

  58. Tonka says – reply to this


    58

    Girl if 'dis ho gonna start hocking my KFC I will switch over to Churche's I be hating me some Jessica Simpleton!



  59. 59

    she makes me embarrassed to be from Texas

  60. hlynn says – reply to this


    60

    ya gotta do what ya gotta do. leave her be…at least she's not sitting at home on welfare collecting people's tax dollars. she's doing what she wants to do, WHO CARES.



  61. 61

    this woman is at least 5 dam ranks above you all in society so leave her alone



  62. 62

    lmfao (overheard at camp simpson)
    "country ppl wear turquoise, right? and these big buckely things??"

    F*A*I*L
    Now if only ppl would stop reporting about her so we could all forget she ever existed.. ;)



  63. 63

    I can totally see her commercial in my mind:
    Jessica opening a can of beer looking at the camera and saying:

    So… Is this beer or bear pee???

  64. BJT says – reply to this


    64

    her dad knows country people drink beer he trying to make people to buy her cds he could say every beer bought her ticket is half off who will show up horny men and horny lesbian's with ear phones on just to look at her and drool in a daydream.

  65. BJT says – reply to this


    65

    will they only sell stampede at her concerts lol everybody would get drunk cause here ears were hurting and they were getting a headache. ken paves will be giving blow jobs at the side of the stage. tony will be selling footballs and nick will be selling his cd it almost killed me his brake out country cd she is helping a friend out.

  66. BJT says – reply to this


    66

    Tony would be better off with nick they both could play with her money and play with ken for a threeway backstage.



  67. 67

    no perez… what you meant to say was… HER DAD DECIDED IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. Can't the whole family just disappear?



  68. 68

    check it out! No more Tony & Jessica. It's done over & kaput. Bet yer all happy right? Not gossip just real! Calling it as it is.



  69. 69

    Everyone's hatin' on Jessica however um, she does DO things like sing and sell products. What the hell does Heidi Montag do? From someone who has lived in Tex-ass myself it doesn't surprise me that they hate one of their own like Jess, in fact I think Texans often eat their own young. Before bitching about Jess, consider she isn't out there fucking up like the rest of the celebs. God forbid this girl tries to earn a living.



  70. 70

    She gives Texas a bad name. She give Country a bad name.

    Tony hero to zero + Jess Pop to country = Cowboys singing the blues

    Go away gnat. Shut your mouth about Carrie.



  71. 71

    Hate her. GO COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  72. 72

    Country is cool and all but she is so far from its meaning.
    Whatta poser!

    Go cowboys!!!