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The British on Vacation: Hot, Hot Messes!

| Filed under: AnglophiliaWacky, Tacky & True


We've mentioned, on numerous occasions, the crazy shiz Brits do when they're out on vacation.

For example, there was the case of the drunken Brit women on a plane who forced an emergency landing when they tried to open one of the plane's emergency doors mid-flight.

And, our favorite, the British women who flew to Greece just to take part in a blow job contest.

British bad behavior abroad must be becoming a far more 'serious' problem because the New York Times has taken notice.

Locals of a Greek town frequented by Brits tell the Times that Queen Liz's people do a great job of standing out:

They are the ones, the locals say, who are carousing, brawling and getting violently sick. They are the ones crowding into health clinics seeking morning-after pills and help for sexually transmitted diseases. They are the ones who seem to have one vacation plan: drinking themselves into oblivion.

“They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit,” Malia’s mayor, Konstantinos Lagoudakis, said in an interview. “It is only the British people — not the Germans or the French.”

“The government of Britain has to do something,” Mr. Lagoudakis said. “These people are giving a bad name to their country.”

The report goes on to say that Brit vacationers are also hurting themselves in the process.

A recent report published by the British Foreign Office, “British Behavior Abroad,” noted that in a 12-month period in 2006 and 2007, 602 Britons were hospitalized and 28 raped in Greece, and that 1,591 died in Spain and 2,032 were arrested there.


In attempts to explain why the UK's vacationers get so wasted and out of control, a Brit who works at a holiday bar said, “It’s because of British culture — no one can relax, so they become inebriated to be the people they want to be."

Wonder what the Queen has to say about all of this!

[Image via WENN.]

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86 comments to “The British on Vacation: Hot, Hot Messes!”

  1. 1


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  3. 3


  4. 4

    Gotta love the British! Oh yeah and dawnaberry03, your not first and you have not been in the last few posts.

  5. 5

    Nice….Gotta love the Brits….

  6. 6


  7. 7

    I find it funny that they havent updated their uniforms in like 100's of years…people are still walking around with crowns and capes…lol

  8. 8

    I want the cape…

  9. 9


  10. 10


    omg will you answer my fucking question!!! lol

    are you a David Icke follower?????????? where are you getting these theories?????

  11. Saka says – reply to this


    ew and ew

  12. 12

    Okay, commercial break here — my comment is only about Perez (not the Royals)
    - Perez, saw you on Chelsea Lately - you DID GREAT and you are looking Marvelous !!! I know you will be invited back.

  13. 13

    My former boss was British and she was a skank, a drunk, and very 2-faced! The first company party she attended she had to be carried to her hotel room and then participated in a phone sex contest later that night!! She was a HOT BRITISH MESS!!! Not to say they are all like that but she's the only Brit I know and she fits the profile above to a "T"!!!!

  14. 14

    Yep.The situation is far worst.We always book our vacations trying to avoid Brits.Even the very young girls are behaving horribly.Everyone of them is heavily drunk throwing up on the streets.They take them down from buses straight to the bars and they are already drunk from their hotels.I must say prefer the Us and French tourists.They are always polite and very kind.And very much interested in the places and the beauty of my country.

  15. bouge says – reply to this


    My husband is English and his family tree has been traces back to Shakespeare…. (I guess I didn't have anything else to say here.)

  16. 16

    Becks needs to come visit me in Orlando and act a fool all up in this bitch.

  17. 17

    Sounds like my weekend. Those were Brits I was with?

  18. 18

    Re: bouge – I wanna **** on your husband's ***. ;-) That's all I have to say.

  19. 19

    Reading this sort of things just pisses me off, because I AM BRITISH but I never act like a drunken slut when I travel overseas, nor do I at home. I used to be based in West Hollywood over six years until a year ago and I miss the fact that in LA they are so strict with ID and drinking laws and I was pleased to never see so much pathetic, drunken behaviour at weekends outside the bars and clubs. In Japan it was the same, I never saw the kind of scenes we have to put up with in the UK with under-age drinking and general bad behaviour. It's become a sad case of British culture. I have to admit that the Germans and Dutch can drink a lot more than we ever do and I've seen Germans act just as rowdy and rude overseas as any Brits. It's just us who get the bad press.

  20. 20

    I'm form the UK, and although this is true for part of the population (mostly the scummier people) WE'RE NOT ALL LIKE THIS!! SO, please don't judge all of the British on what you hear about these drunken yobs, I'm so sorry that you all have to see our country like this in such a bad light.. :(

  21. 21

    thts so funny! yet worrying too… hehe, but thts wut the brits are known for! haha

  22. 22

    take note people - these are the chavs of britain who drink, smoke, swear and slut around. MANY OF US ARE NOT LIKE THIS!!

  23. 23

    all this time i thought they only had bad teeth, I'm gonna party with these crazy bastards!

  24. 24

    Booking my Holiday right now.

    “They scream, they sing, they fall down, they take their clothes off, they cross-dress, they vomit,”

    Sounds good to me!

  25. 25

    Who cares what the fucking queen says.

    Malia would be fucked without tourist trade so perhaps asking the british government to spank, and perhaps deter, their biggest customers isn't the wisest idea - However - I cant understand these slaggy holidays people go on - if you want to fall out of bars, vom in the street and catch VD's from sleezy men save the money of a flight and do it in your own shitty town.

  26. Jo! says – reply to this


    I didn't think we were that bad :( damn I must be going to the wrong places for my holidays :p

  27. 27

    hahaha and people say that us irish people are drunks lmao

  28. 28

    and this is why the rest oif europe hate us. we arent all like that, i promise!

  29. 29

    im english and i think i should stand up for us!
    just because some of us do that doesnt men we all do.
    and anyway it just shows that we know how to have a good time;)

  30. 30


  31. 31

    Isn't this the same behavior that people from USA shows over Mexico? We all have seen those videos with girls showing breast or completely drunk, and guys as well. i guess you got tired from seeing your own trash and started to look the other way

  32. 32

    Brits are nasty fuckers! They behave abominably when abroad.

  33. 33

    I'm from Northern Ireland so technically im British but I make a point of telling people im Irish on holidays because of the bad rep!! the Brits are totally embarrassing on holiday!!!!

  34. 34

    Embarrassed - these are my people- obviously no class! Urgh! :(

  35. 35

    Re: bougeRe: Andy27

    we need to see a pic of his ass….that'll tell us whether he truly has roots back to Shakespeare….mmmmm there aint nothing like a Shakespearean ass!!!

  36. 36

    I am sure it's not all brits! Some are just wilder than others. They just want to have fun!

  37. 37

    Re: SophieJane

    I'm English too. Hey Perez just deals with stereotypes so I wouldn't worry about it.

    Enjoy the gossip, ignore the prejudice and thank God you're not stupid enough to believe it.

  38. 38

    This AIN'T celebrity juice - it's actually not worth publishing so why is it here??
    Pull your head out of your own ass, Perez.
    This site is only about gay shit anymore or useless CRAP.

  39. 39

    I'm a brit and frankly i think you all should take the poles out of your arses and relax. Not everyone goes out on holiday to drop ther pants and get laid. Some people like to relax like the rest of the world! And FYI…I have both french and german friends. I'd like the mayor of Malia to meet them on a night out and tell me they don't act like brits!

  40. haha says – reply to this


    my husband is English. We are in England alot. Life there seems to revolve around the pub.

  41. 41

    Im from england and some people make a fool out of them selves, but the rest of us just have fun, there is a lot of underage drinking over here but so what, its only a few who ruin it for the rest of us.

  42. Sammy says – reply to this


    I went to Spain, Benidorm which is in the south of Spain, and there are tons of Brits and boy let me tell you they would put any frat boy to shame!!! Those people can party!!!!

  43. 43

    the queen would be saying "thats our harry ;) "

  44. 44

    Oh, and let's not the British who leave their kids alone in rooms while they go out to dinner or party!

  45. 45

    hahahha that's hilariously funny!

  46. 46

    they should be spending their money on fucking toothpaste and toothbrushes instead of beer and vacations

  47. 47


  48. 48

    guys,it's ALL TRUE.I'm Greek,I should know.the situation especially in Mallia is sad.and nobody does anything about that.the club owners let the british drink as much as they want without paying so much.a few days ago an 18 yr old from england died of excessive drinking.every night the policemen arrest drunk Brits.they're pathetic.we need to take more serious measures about that.

  49. midi says – reply to this


    so the brits hold their ligquor about as well as the drunken can-ams, eh? booze is the rite of passage…

  50. 50

    All the trouble makers are usually Northern Monkeys.
    If you're British you know what that is.

  51. 51

    lol You've got to admit, us Brits know how to have a good time. We have a massive binge drinking culture here, and unless you're part of it you hate it. And it's not up to the British Gov to do anything, they can't control us if we're not in the country.

  52. 52

    Tally-HO and Hip Hip Horray, mates!

  53. 53

    There is a cultural trend to take some level of sick pride in having an out of control drinking habit. I'm sure it's not everyone, but quite a few.

  54. 54

    ROFL!!! Thanks Perez for the best laugh of the day - the two bimbos who attacked the flight attendants and tried to open the emergency door because they needed 'fresh air' - LMAO

    But on a serious note… I don't blame the Brits for acting like this! Face it, in a country with shit weather, a nanny state and one of the highest costs of living in the world they're driven to it…

  55. 55

    :“It’s because of British culture — no one can relax, so they become inebriated to be the people they want to be."

    OH what bullshit. half my family is british, and they don't act like fucking morons. morons act like morons, and that's that.

  56. 56

    Re: suckonthis – oh what the hell do YOU know about british culture?

  57. 57

    I've traveled through Britain and I noticed this most when I was in England. I loved England (I went to London and a few other towns close to it), but I must admit they get pretty rowdy with their drinks…

  58. 58

    Been in Malia many times before the Brits invaded…lovely place…back than.
    Unfortunately i now live in a holiday town that has been taken over by cheap brits…..with guys with man boobs, and woman with voices like boat horns.
    (seriously..why are all conversation between you people on ridiculous loud level???)

    You brits on holiday are disgusting & obnoxious…dot.

    behave when you leave your country…and that starts with PUT SOME FF-ING CLOTHES ON IF YOU GO TO THE SUPERMARKET YOU FAT COWS!
    Nothing more disgusting than to watch a 30 kilo overweight woman/girl in a kiddie size bikini showing her nipples 'accidentally'

  59. 59

    Re: grace-e
    But they are fun drunks…they drink a lot, laugh sing dance and than go home or to the hotel….you don't find them in the morning in a pool of their own piss/vomit/crap or without nickers and c*m all over…

  60. 60

    Embarrassing! I'd say it probably also has to do with things costing a lot less outside of Britain. When I went to Greece there was a bachelor party there from England because booze and hotels were cheaper, airfare wasn't very much and the country is beautiful.

  61. 61

    Re: MimiBr
    Here they just take them with them to the bar…leave them sleeping somewhere in a corner while mum is chatting up the hunky waiter (10 to 15 yrs younger)….disgusting…

  62. 62

    they didn't go to zante to take part in a blow job competition, they were there already! us english girls aren't that bad. i have to say i went to that particular island on a holiday last year and it was very good fun! haha!

  63. 63


    I am English, and I don't visit those shitholes which are renowned for the chavs, lower classes and parties of teenagers who visit. If you want to avoid this, don't go there!! I admit the chavs in Britain are the worst types of people in Europe. Maybe apart from the Nazi's…

  64. 64

    I went to malia for a week about a month ago, and had such a good time! yeahh, every night was spent drinking and dancing, but to be honest, the Brits have brought so much money to the area, they should love it! and i walked around the town a bit too, and its only the main strip which is full of bars, theres a civilised normal part of the town too, which seems untouched by the sexual drunken revelry of the tourists!

    alssooo - having spent the last 14 years of our lives in school behaving ourselves, its only fair to have a holiday before starting it all again in uni..

  65. 65

    I used to live in the Czech Republic. About 5 years ago, I recall a story in the local paper about how the British embassy was having trouble coping with its visiting subjects. Once cheap flights started from the UK to Prague, the embassy's workload in some areas increased exponentially. The passport office saw a 300% increase in emergency requests because of people who lost their passport while drunk or had it stolen in brothels.

    Brits are totally the most hated people in Europe. People used to not be able to stand the French, but their quirks are not harmful and have become accepted as just that, quirks. The Brits, on the other hand, are drunk, loud and disrespectful, none of which was helped by the fact that the strong pound made them the richest people in Europe.

  66. 66

    Self control!

  67. 67

    These people make me ashamed to be from GB! But then again I'm an Army brat and didn't live in the UK until I was 16…thank F**k for the fact that we're not all like that when we're on holiday.
    Hate to do it but……I'm sooooooooooooo glad I didn't grow up in the UK.

  68. 68

    The way the statistics are listed, it made it sound like rape is the fault of the individual. The 28 Britons raped don't add to the "bad British behavior." They are VICTIMS of assault. Rape is never the individual's fault.

  69. 69

    Hey dickhead: One small point not being taken into account: 28 british holiday makers were raped in Greece. How many other foreign tourists were raped? Doesn't say much for Greece as a safe tourist spot, does it. And you make those Greeks sound so nice and well behaved…… And as for the comment that 1,591 died in Spain: it's a well known fact that Spain's coastal areas aren't safe anymore: it's full of eastern 'block' gangs robbing tourists. I would shut your mouth before commenting on European culture: either that or fuck off and join those sodding Germans at the crack of dawn to put your towel on your lounger….

  70. 70

    Re: Jo!

    Aren't most irish people are alcoholics or is it just your posts that make you sound drunk?

  71. 71

    Re: Weinerdog

    Nah its you southern softies who cant hold your ale

  72. 72

    Re: .bommie – oh wow, the weight issue. Because that doesn't come up in any part of the world does it, you clever clever person. where are you from? it must be a place where no one is over weight is it, lets hear it? you should probably think before you start calling "all" the british women over weight especially considering this post wasn't fuck all to do with that you time waster. you haven't got a fucking clue and i'm surprised malia let your kind in.

  73. 73

    Re: hottie – "hottie" haha you idiot.

    as for everyone else thats got bad mouth to say about the british which had fuck all to do with this post like this clever "hottie" who probably hasn't been to the uk, should probably take a second to realize that where they live will come with its own shit lie and that they aren't as "hot" as they think they are. oh and by the way, the percentage of us have a good time on the weekend because we deserve it, the brits work, you know "work" for a living, a word that isn't known so much out of the uk.

    for the rest of you that stood your ground for the uk well done. that alone shows that it isn't full of what everyone seems to think, atleast britain has fucking pride and we know how to have a good fucking time.

  74. bhaha says – reply to this


    its only chavs that do this and people who live on council estates

  75. 75

    I am British and also feel the need to stand up for us! There's always a scummy contingent to every country and it's these people (known as 'chav scum' in the UK) who ruin it for everyone else. Everyone in the UK knows what kind of thing goes on in Benidorm or Malaga etc etc and 90% of people in the UK avoid those destinations like the plague. Not everyone enjoys drinking until comatose - it's certainly not my idea of a relaxing holiday. And there are A LOT of tourists over here, in the UK, that also behave despicably.

  76. 76

    i was just in Greece and that's all that people warned us about; stay away from the English cause once they get drunk they REALLY get drunk. And so we went to check it out, and honestly, it wasn't that bad. Some were definitely out there but others were pretty ok!

  77. ELL says – reply to this


    Whatever, the Spanish and all of them others can moan about it, but there bars would soon be out of business if all the brits fucked off!


    hows that bitches.

  78. vix says – reply to this


    I'm 22 and travel quite a bit and I have to say that British tourists ARE among the worst. I mean, it's not everyone. A lot of families are out and about, couples, etc who never bother anyone but those young idiots are really ruining it for everyone. There's nothing worse than a drunk British tourist. At the hostel I was staying at, there were 2 Brits who were severely hung over. This didn't stop them at all from booking the earliest booze cruise. Unlimited drinks in the sun all day when you're already hung over… best idea ever!!! Not. Why pay good money to go somewhere if you're only gonna drink yourself silly

  79. vix says – reply to this


    PS. Some of them won't spend a freakn dime on anything cultural, lamenting that they're broke but they'll drop like 40Euro if not more on getting wasted. lame.

  80. 80

    Gee, didn't you know Perez, the Brits can't handle any kind of criticism. They go into psychotic denial mode. And didn't you know they can, and do, attack, pick-on and criticize everyone (and especially if you're a "yank") and if they say it, it must be true. But, point out anything bad about them and it's all lies! I haven't read the comment here yet, but I'm sure it will be amusing.

  81. vix says – reply to this


    Re: coolethan – Perhaps it's more about quality than quantity. You sure as hell won't find a lot of rich German tourists in this town if it's known to be a party place where people stumble and puke all over the place. A German, French, American family or whatnot is likely to spend more than a penny pinching youth whose only goal is to get wasted. By getting rid of all the bad apples, the economy can be stimulated in different ways. Resorts can still make their money, local people can sell their trade, restaurants will also make business… The only places hurting would be bars that hire and barely pay foreign workers anyway. So I don't see what the problem is.

  82. 82

    SophieJane says – I have to admit that the Germans and Dutch can drink a lot more than we ever do and I've seen Germans act just as rowdy and rude overseas as any Brits. It's just us who get the bad press.
    ^^^^^^^^ Now you know what it feels like, right? Americans have had to deal with that double standard for years. We're used to it. Funny enough, you "Brits" have been doing it to us for years too.

  83. 83

    Poor white trash people from all European countries go to cheap white trash places like Spain (excepted Barcelona the rest of Spain is turning more and more trashy every year). The Brits that spend their holidays in rich places like the French Riviera or the French Atlantic Ocean Coast are well educated, polite, have a correct behaviour and try to speak french.

  84. 84

    Thankyou Laurent. ^ I am not a snob but I still avoid these places because I can afford to go somewhere else.

  85. 85

    OK, All Brits drink to much, and all Americans are fat….move on

  86. 86

    basically you get what you pay for if you go to somewhere like aiya napa, benidorm, magaluf and ibiza……a loada chavs :-)