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Tour de Lance! Armstrong Coming Out Of Retirement!!!!

| Filed under: ZportzLance Armstrong


Guess dating hot chicks isn't giving him the same thrill!

Lance Armstrong is set to pull a Michael Jordan!

According to new reports, he's coming out of cycling retirement to compete in five races in 2009, including the Tour de France (which he won an amazing seven consecutive years!!).

And, he's racing just to race!! He's supposedly not taking a salary or bonus to compete!

Lance's manager refused to answer any questions.

Other rumors that are circulating in the cycling world are that the cancer survivor will continue to pursue mountain bike racing and may try his hand at cyclocross as well.

We'll be cheering for you, Lance!

There's no way he'd come back if he wasn't sure he'd win his races, right?

[Image via WENN.]

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46 comments to “Tour de Lance! Armstrong Coming Out Of Retirement!!!!”

  1. 1


  2. 2

    You go No-Nut!

  3. 3

    who knew he retired?? he is soo fug im sorry

  4. 4

    he's not even a face down ass up..

  5. 5

    Re: harrybalsac

    I know…tea-bagging would be such a bust….

  6. 6

    Re: harrybalsac
    Hey Abercorey,
    is Andy really gone??

  7. 7

    he has been striking out iwth the chicas lately….maybe this gives him an excuse to be single for awhile. "he needs to concentrate on training"

  8. 8

    Re: wildmidwestern – *with - sorry!

  9. 9

    Big FUCKING Deal! I'm so tired of these has-been men going through mid-life "to retire or not to retire" antics.

  10. 10

    Re: ChrisInKy – he said he was gonna get some…maybe he really was. lucky guy….

  11. 11

    GAG! He is such an ego maniac! He has already won enough, why cant he just let someone else get the glory for a while?

  12. 12

    Re: ChrisInKy – It wasn't our day to watch him, he just got out, if you see him, send him home.

  13. 13

    Re: wildmidwestern – I want some!

  14. 14

    Re: abercorey – lol, i don't think he's that fug but seems like a prick. I'd still plow him face down. NO tea-bagging that one ball or fake ball shit!

  15. 15

    This dude is turning into a publicity whore.

  16. 16

    Why does it matter if he's ugly to you? If you can't fuck them they are nobodies right? Lance Armstrong is fucking legendary for what he does.. and he isn't half bad looking for an older man, I personally wouldn't hit it but I'm sure you could do much worse…

  17. 17

    Re: ChrisInKy – he's at the free clinic getting an abortion

  18. 18

    Re: ChrisInKy

    yes ma'am he's having dirty sex behind my back!!!

  19. 19

    Re: abercorey – I wonder how he decides which side of the seat to put his Uni-ball on!

  20. 20

    Re: abercorey

    Better looking than the guy in your picture. Oh, wait, is that you? Lol

  21. 21

    This guy's a turd. The only thing he can do in life is ride a bike. Ok, we saw you do it. End of story. Try joining some classes in how to develop a personality you twit.
    xoxo, Isa

  22. 22

    Re: harrybalsac – from andy????!!!!

  23. 23

    Re: Swimstud

    its okay though….while Andy's out me and Swimstud are gonna have a sex marathon…..there'll be tea bagging with two balls….there'll be tongue jacking. ass hammering, and maybe even a daisy chain towards the end….maybe we can ask the mattias guy or maybe we can have the nurse do some scouting for us! :)

  24. 24

    Re: Cattac

    bitch come out from behind that default avatar so we can see what kinda monster you look like….

  25. 25

    Re: wildmidwestern – \

    I think he wants some of that plethora of ass your carrying back there….

  26. 26

    Re: harrybalsac – Hilarious!

  27. 27

    Re: wildmidwestern – No,your sweet litle seat!

  28. 28

    Re: abercorey – im not sure if that was a compliment or not….but im gonna take it as one! thanks! i thought maybe y'all converted him. i just wanted pix! :)

  29. 29

    Re: abercorey – Oh, hell yeah! I found my new baby daddy. flip flop cum swapping.

  30. 30

    Re: harrybalsac – well thank you! you into doin it backdoor as long as it's not a guy?

  31. Memi says – reply to this


    Re: rowdie – I agree 100%! Age with some dignity.

  32. 32

    I hate this one balled bastard!

  33. 33

    He always has the dumbass look on his face!

  34. 34

    Seriously? I don't think any sports figure should be allowed to compete again after they retire. If you were the CEO of some big ass company & then retired & then came back a couple years later & said you wanted back in you would be laughed at!! Once you quit you are done.

  35. 35

    Re: rowdie – Same here..who the fuck cares? Jordan, Favre now this one..get out and stay out…geesh…it just makes them look stupid imo

  36. 36

    Re: wildmidwestern

    oh you know I always play nice :)

  37. 37

    he is such an egomaniac. I wish he would just go away

  38. 38

    Re: abercorey – i know you do sweety. thank you *sweet smile*

  39. 39

    Re: wildmidwestern – harry don't roll like Andy & abercorey, we just don't have any hang ups about who fucks who,me I want to be tapping dat ass yours!

  40. 40

    Re: harrybalsac – *OF YOURS my little bun sandwich!

  41. 41

    This was completely out of the blue! I hope he kicks all of those damn white flag wavin' Frenchies ass!!!!

  42. 42

    Uh huh…he's not a total cheat on sports with his steroid "never tested positively" use. Then again, neither was Marion Jones. The sophistication with which cheaters' blood is cleansed/switched…whatever…is absurd and a serious problem. Does anyone really believe in this dude? Perez, he is no hero…he's a frickin' freak!

  43. 43

    Why doesn't he just go away? One of the most annoying people ever.

  44. 44

    He'll probably do it all doped up again…..

  45. 45

    Wow, seems like he's got his ball up in a bunch probably because Michael Phelps won 8 gold medals. Now Lance will show how great he is by winning 8 Tour De France. Loser!!

  46. 46

    Not a shock. Knew this was coming the day he "retired". He likes attention too much.