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They Hired Her?

| Filed under: Film FlickersWacky, Tacky & TrueJessica Alba

afpx82508ja_jalba4.jpg

Jessica 'Don't Call Me Latina' Alba scored another movie job, even though her box office record is crap.

The new mom will star in Invisible, which revolves around a young woman who has retreated from the world and is consumed by numbers and math, according to Variety. Things begin to change when she becomes a second-grade math teacher.

They want us to buy into her as a math genius?

Ha ha ha ha!

To help things along, we bet she's going to do the 'ugly' thing, a la Charlize Theron in Monster, right?

What a joke.

[Image via Final Pixx.]

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82 comments to “They Hired Her?”



  1. 1

    This ho's career is as relevant as Lindsay's.



  2. 2

    God Bless everyone and everybody affected from and by the September 11, 2001 devestation… Be Strong with Faith! Viva to the United States of America… We still Rock and are straight up Bad Azz's! Love it, Live it or Leave it…



  3. 3

    math genius??
    that one will be hard to sell.



  4. 4

    ….I loved her as Pipi Longstocking when I was little.



  5. 5

    pocahontas…



  6. 6

    I think you mean Monster



  7. 7

    that wasn't enough detail to make me want to see the movie….sounds like it will suck



  8. 8

    The movie was "Monster".



  9. 9

    that shirt needs to be burnt!!



  10. 10

    Re: Andy27 – for realz…reminds me of my hit "When It's Gone".



  11. 11

    YOU ARE A JOKE PEREZ, MONSTER'S BALL STARS HALLE BERRY!!! DUMB FUCK! THE MOVIE YOUR REFERING TO IS JUST CALLED MONSTER!!!!!!



  12. 12

    Why does she not want to be recognized as a latin women?



  13. 13

    is she related to that skater alba?

    oh yeah FIRRRRRRRRRST



  14. 14

    I'd totally HIT that!



  15. 15

    FIRRRRRRRRRST



  16. 16

    shut up



  17. 17

    Fuck I was wayyy off HA HA HA



  18. 18

    hi perez!



  19. 19

    You need to get the fuck over this "Don't Call Me Latina" bullshit, Perez. You completely misinterpreted her original comment, anyway. I'm not even a fan of hers, but this is ridiculous.



  20. 20

    It was MONSTER! Not Monster's Ball (that was the movie with Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thorton). First?



  21. 21

    Jessica Don't call me Latina should get a shirt from my Latin Shirt site!!
    www.greengoatee.com



  22. 22

    Re: wildmidwestern – And I'd butter your muffin GOOD! I miss your response yesterday, I hope is was dirty!



  23. 23

    Pocahantos called, she wants her hair back



  24. 24

    Re: Andy27

    welcome back baby, you and allyson are a hit and split lately…..leavin me waitin with my ass in the air lol

  25. CObag says – reply to this


    25

    uh…pnast??? i think you meant to say Charlize Theron in MONSTER! NOT monsters ball!!!! caught ya!!!



  26. 26

    UUGGGHHH I CANT STAND THIS BITCH! FIRST SHE PIST ME OFF BY DENYING HER HERITAGE! HER NAME SAYS ITS ALL! HEELLLO..JESSICA ALBA! N IN THIS PIX SHE IS SPORTING THE PIG TAILS! U CANT GET NO MORE BEANER THAN DAT! ANYWHO AM LATINA N DAME PROUD OF IT! SO FOR THIS WENCH TO HAD SAID THAT COMMENT REALLY PIST ME OFF! AM OVER HER! NEXT!!!

  27. Uker says – reply to this


    27

    i like it, sounds like a good script.
    stop hating on this girl perez, it's just ugly.



  28. 28

    Charlize Theron was in Monster. Monster's Ball was Halle.



  29. 29

    1st!!!!!! Lov your Perez, Shannon Doherty, Brad Pitt, Anderson Cooper. Love your work!!! Email me and say hi, jayincowtown@hotmail.com LOL. Peace!!!



  30. 30

    lol do you mean charlize theron in MONSTER? she wasn't in monster's ball!



  31. 31

    Re: Andy27 – Did you see Jer & daddy burst out the closet back there, I guess my Gaydar needs a tune up!



  32. 32

    just a small correction - the charlize theron movie was just called "monster", not "monster's ball."



  33. 33

    Perez, you sound so angry. Remember, no matter how upset you get things could always get worse……you could be Samantha Ronson.



  34. 34

    Re: Swimstud

    lol I know..bitch you don't live in no teepee

  35. Sammy says – reply to this


    35

    Another Bomb!!!!



  36. 36

    The Fantastic Four movies she is in make money.

  37. buck says – reply to this


    37

    I love Jessica "Please Call Me American" Alba !!!!!

  38. Sammy says – reply to this


    38

    Re: Andy27 – Andy do you know anyone that works at Bongos?



  39. 39

    Re: harrybalsac – if we both live in norcal…how are you gonna take me to get some chik-fil-a? you might hafta go all out and buy me some mickey d's!!!!



  40. 40

    I hear she has a "bottomless" throat!



  41. 41

    Re: harrybalsac

    I know…I had no idea! Im tryin to hit that (Jermaine)



  42. 42

    halle did monster's ball… charlize did monster



  43. 43

    Re: wildmidwestern – There is one right down the street here in Sac.



  44. 44

    she has never made a good movie



  45. 45

    Re: Andy27 – HEY ANDY27, JUST HERE TO REMIND YOU YOUR EYES LOOK LIKE TWO PISS HOLES IN THE SNOW AND YOU HAVE A CHIN LIKE RUMER WILLIS AND A IQ OF ABOUT 60! FUCKTARD!



  46. 46

    Re: karencarpenter

    OMG Pippi Longstocking is comin into your world!! the freckle-faced redhead girl you outta know!!! the one who's fun to be around…..whoa-0-whoa…..girl dont sass or I'll box your ears!!! lol



  47. 47

    this sounds like it's based off of one of my favorite novels, "An Invisible Sign of My Own" by Aimee Bender. i can't believe they chose her for it - she doesn't fit the character AT ALL.



  48. 48

    Re: abercorey – Yes abercory. One late Autumn my horse got stuck while on tour in the netherlands and she lifted it with one arm. Then she took down my f*cking manager for me.



  49. 49

    jessica alba=fine



  50. 50

    Re: State ziti

    I would invite him to get to know me at the "baby got back bar-b-que" , I'd stick a rose on his head and tell him I love him, and then we'd go back to my place and ask him to bend over so I can see that ass, and then I'd prob tongue-jack that shit for an hour, and then get our bootie-bang on all night long….maybe ask SwimStud to come over if we run out of bodily flluids to exchange…..



  51. 51

    Re: fcuknsexy – you are aptly named…



  52. 52

    JESSICA ALBA BETTER THANK GOD SHE IS PRETTY BECAUSE SHE CAN'T ACT,WHY ARE THEY CASTING HER IN EVERY MOVIE, ALL OF HER MOVIES FLOPPED AT THE BOX OFFICE,I WILL NOT PAY MONEY TO SEE HER IN THE MOVIES I MAY RENT IT, IF IT COST 1.00 TO RENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



  53. 53

    Re: karencarpenter

    oh you like Adriana Lima?? I didnt know Karen ate fish…



  54. 54

    Agree with mama of 2 — jessica alba as a math genius will he a VERY hard sell!



  55. 55

    I think you should stop with it now. There ain't nothing wrong with this gal, nor Jennifer Annniston, nor Sarah Jessica Parker, nor Rumur Willis, nor Blah, blah, blah. Can't remember the the names because there are so many you smear. I, as an avid reader, really want to know what these people have done to deserve this. Don't just feed us your gossip lines and expect us to be fulfilled. We want to know why you feel the way you do. You are a big hit now, stop hiding behind your cum faced drawings and dick drawings and start showing your true self.



  56. 56

    SHE SHOULD JUST BE A MOTHER HOLLYWOOD REALLY DOES'NT NEED HER !!!
    SHE IS IRRELEVANT LIKE KIM KARDASHIAN( THE WHOLE FAMILY),VANESSA MINNILLO ,PAM ANDERSON ,EVA LONGORIA ,CARMEN ELECTRA ,LINDSEY LOHAN ,MINKA KELLY ,CASSIE ,JESSICA BIEL (SHE CAN'T ACT EITHER)THE WHOLE CAST OF GOSSIP GIRLS AND THE NEW 90210—— THE LIST GOES ON AND ON ——I WISH HOLLYWOOD COULD GET SOME REAL TALENT!!!!!



  57. 57

    Geez, Perez, get over yourself - you're so racist! So she didn't grow up in a Latina way - so what???



  58. 58

    STATE ZITI —– FRIED CHICKEN AND WATERMELON WTF!!!! U MUST BE A RACIST WITH THE AVATOR, U MUST BE A MCCAIN AND PALIN SUPPORTER



  59. 59

    Will she be naked? I want to know if a Hollywood actress gets stretch marks like the rest of the world after having a baby.

  60. DaLa says – reply to this


    60

    As long as she keeps her clothes on she'll be fine. There's nothing special about her face.



  61. 61

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL

    Oh yeah she's smart, all right, I TOTALLY buy it….

    LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL



  62. 62

    There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be labeled "Latina". It's a lot better than being labeled Latina and then having to do movies like "Maid in Manhattan", or "Spanglish". She is what she is, accept it.



  63. 63

    FUCK HOLLYWOOD! RACIST JEWS!!!



  64. 64

    How does she do it? She is a terrible actress, she has no box office clout and all her films bomb. How many more chances is she going to get?



  65. 65

    Re: dudette – i didn't grow up in a very 'latina' way either - i don't speak spanish at all - but i'm proud of my heritage and i don't claim to be less mexican just because i don't speak spanish. i'm a halfie, just like alba, and i found her comments offensive, and i read the entire context perez took them from. i believe one of her exact comments was something like "cameron diaz is more latina than me" (diaz has a latin grandpa or something like that). if she didn't mean it the way it came out, well, then she didn't explain it very well. she acted as though being american and being latina HAD to be two distinct things. however, there is such a thing as 'chicana' and 'mexican american' and in america, most people have blended heritage.



  66. 66

    I love her so much



  67. 67

    dirty poca-ho-ntas ……. i hate all her fukin movies dude



  68. 68

    Ever since she had her baby, she's looked like ass



  69. 69

    Useless, talentless wad. I don't even believe she can read let alone is a math genius.



  70. 70

    Re: karencarpenter
    tHANX =)



  71. 71

    WHOA WHOA WHOA, WAIT UP HERE. Take a look at that picture for a sec, how come every single guy in the world wants to fuck Jessica Alba? Look at the pic once again. DAMN she's ugly as shit =S Well, she used to be pretty imo but NOW shes ugly as shit. Ahhh home gurl let go of herself~*~*~*~



  72. 72

    This is fucking hilarious



  73. 73

    I hope there is a lot more to this movie. Because as is, it sounds horribly boring. And even though Jessica is very pretty her acting is awful. She isint believable in any part she plays ,much less a math genius.



  74. 74

    wow, she has really lost her looks since she had the kid……kids=death

  75. DLR says – reply to this


    75

    Hey Perez, are you saying math geniuses can't be good-looking? I would love to see Danica McKellar who by the way is a math genius and a math teacher whup your arse for suggesting Jessica be made "ugly" for this new role.



  76. 76

    Re: devilpoet – That is exactly it. Our Mario sure does his research. Is Fidel dead or alive this week?



  77. 77

    I'm looking forward to it! I don't think Jessica is a shit as everyone says!



  78. 78

    this sounds kwl luv u jessica



  79. 79

    Your jealousy is showing Perez!
    You go Girl!!



  80. 80

    Another movie ruined this chick couldnt act if her and her child life depended on it. I tried to watch her latest movie The Eye but just couldnt stand the site of her I almost went blind. Go away and just be a mom!



  81. 81

    Bro! ms. dont call me latina looks like a fucking mexican with those braids and that wierd as head. sorry jessica i think youre pretty but this picture just brought out the latin in you big time and not the exotic beautiful kind of latin. okay we get it youre sorry about the latin denile thing… please go back to being pretty. my goodness!



  82. 82

    Get that money jessica, can't wait to see it it, any movie staring jessica…………… im dere.