Headline Of The Week Weak
"Butt bandit vandals town with greasy groin imprint"
Hilarious - and kinda gross! CLICK HERE to read the article accompanying this headline.
[Image via WENN.]
Butt bandit vandals town with greasy groin imprint
VALENTINE, Nebraska - People in a Nebraska town wish their busiest vandal would find another way to make his mark.
Beginning more than a year ago, some man has been skipping from one business to another at night, pressing his naked behind - sometimes his groin, sometimes both - on windows. Store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.
"This is the weirdest case I've ever seen," said police Chief Ben McBride.
Some residents of Valentine, a remote central US town of about 2,650 people, find some humour in the strange vandalism and have taken to calling the perpetrator the "Butt Bandit". But they also can't help but cringe when finding his marks.
"We were completely grossed out," said Kalli Kieborz, who works in a downtown building. "One day I walked into the office and an employee said, 'Oh, my God, we've been struck!"'
The police chief is far from amused.
"It's not funny," McBride said. "We're worried about the next step."
It started in spring 2007, when the window of a Methodist church was greased with an imprint. McBride figured it was a high school prank. But the church kept getting hit, even after police staked it out.
The bandit struck business after business, window after window last summer.
Then he - and maybe, McBride said, copycat vandals - stopped over the fall and winter.
"People said he was done," McBride said. "Then he started back up this summer."
During one particularly brazen session, virtually all the windows at a local hotel were imprinted.
McBride said no one has reported seeing the vandal in action. The only clue is a blurry picture of him caught by a surveillance camera at the middle school last year.
The man was 1.8 metres tall or slightly taller, and slender. He had a dark complexion, and McBride said the man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look."
She Must Be So Honored
Cripes, talk about gross.
Was it John Mayer????????????????????????
Oh god. No way. You've got to be kidding me, haha
EWWWWW!
Sweet!
"1980s, feathered look."
eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww.
lol nothing special other than the way they described his hair
oh, I did not realise it was considered gross, I will finnish doing it.
hell, one more ( )( )
1980's feathered look? John Mayer, are you the BUTT BANDIT?
PMSL TO FUCKING FUNNY
wow, lookz just
like him
I would do that head.
vote
mccain/palin
that is really weird and gross
way too much free time on his hands.
Pervy…
Re: Gay Edge –
wow
thatz
fuking hott
I want me a
butt plunger..
vote mccain/palin
A Dubya A. (ass) D.
hahaha….he can press his naked behind on me! (if he's cute)
Re: Zexy Chex-Z – LOVE that pic!
obama,
me and
jigsaw
think your
head should
be on it.
hahahahaha
Re: Andy27 –
hey zexyboy
jigsaw
wantz U…
honey…
. .well . . .of course he stopped in the winter time - he cant go sticking his bum bum on cold glass in the winter time - hasnt anyone seen a christmas story?
i know alot of butt bandits.
Re: harrybalsac – Yah you know you want that up your ass fucktard!
What a f***** weirdo! I agree with the police about this behavior leading to more bizzare or dangerous behavior. I hope they catch him and arrest him. Creep!
LMAO ths is hilarious!
I can't believe that the police staked out a church and the guy STILL got through and did it.
Re: yourazzzuckzbuttermilk – Get off LettyB ,tell PIG DYKE to stop follwing me around like lost dog!
Re: LettyB – See#32 last page DYKE!
HILARIOUS! And where can I buy the GW Bush butt-plug? I always knew that man should go up someone's ass!
Pevez put ur toy back in and get to work.
Ewwwwwww……….. that's almost as gross as well, it's really gross. I'll leave it at that.
Ewww and LOL at the same time.
what the
…what gets McCain through those lonely nights.
Re: harrybalsac – I remember a while back she wrote something about having short hair and since then I've pictured her as a cat collecting bulldyke.
Re: LettyB – Sorry
Re: harrybalsac – I AM NOT A DYKE EITHER FUCKTARD!
I think possibly Perez got a look at this Bush butt plug and got horny… we won't be seeing him for a while.
Re: LettyB – BIG FAT ANGRY MAN HATER= DYKE!
Re: Nurse Allison – hahaha….i dont really think lettyb is a short-haired dyke…i think she's one of those super fat girls, with the nasty, curly hair in a simple pony tail, and a large box of donuts next to her keyboard. i guess not ever girl can be as pretty as you and feel confident enough to post her own picture up!
Re: Nurse Allison – thats what i was thinking.
things have slowed down.
Re: harrybalsac – Where's harrysnatch? She'll put the fucktard in her place.
Re: LettyB – Prove Andy wrong and tell us you have short hair!
Re: Andy27 – Love ya. Don't leave us today, ok? Fuck work.
Oh, and put up a yummy pic of you in your Kenny Cole.
Re: Nurse Allison – YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY SORRY! BUT REALLY I AM NOT ADYKE, IF I WAS GAY I WOULD HAPPILY ADMIT IT!
Re: LettyB – What's the matter? Did your boyfriend's batteries die? Get an A.C. adapter!
Re: Nurse Allison – Yah my hair is short, kinda like Rhianna's style! It's cute and easy to style
Re: harrybalsac – YET ANOTHER STUPID COMMENT!
Sounds exactly something an Oboma supporter would do. Obamatrons are not know for being the swiftest humans.
Re: LettyB – Or use one or two of those cats and a can of tuna.
Or maybe Perez had to run because something happened after this mornings interview on the Howard Stern show…maybe he slipped and pulled off that phony, Soul Glow, wig howard wears now. Howard…Just let your SOOOOUUULL GLLOOOOWWWW!!!!
I think its very funny and definetely something to consider doing when drunk… but maybe its cause im european who knows
Re: Hate Low Class People –
You said "Sounds exactly something an Oboma supporter would do. Obamatrons are not know for being the swiftest humans."
________________________________________________________________-
The trouble is, your name and your comment are the opposit of each other. having class, a good upbringing and manners reveal themselves in how you treat others. The very essense of good manners is making others feel comfortable. This is also a traditional definition of being a Gentleman or Lady. Your name, which attempts to point out that you are "High Class" can't work because a truly "High Class" person would never point out that they were "High Class". As for your other insult, a truly high class person would never use an insult pointed at an entire group. Perhaps you should sign up for a nice finishing school where you would learn these things.
Why do you have to disparage the president of the unmited states in an article that has nothing to do with him? If you despise this country so much, move the fuck out.
That's the funniest shit ever…. now I found my new hobby. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
People, I m sure that s some kind of ARTwork!
Who the hell measures in meters in the United States? Looks like a bogus report probably published in one of those weird UK rags.
"The man's dark hair was styled in a "1980s, feathered look."
Well now- you've just described 2/3rds of the men in Nebraska.
Re: SoCal – Sorry SoCal, but the President has many, many, many times disparaged HIMSELF. We don't have to. The current American financial crisis is, in most part, a direct consequence of 7.5 years of giving tax breaks to major corporations in the hope of creating new jobs. What has happened? The CEO's make millions in "performance" bonuses - as the value of their stock DROPS - and the taxpayers lose out AGAIN.
Re: SoCal – "If you despise this country so much, move the fuck out. "
OR- Vote for the Democratic Party!
& stop allowing greasy republicans to wipe their asses with you any longer
Re: succulent – So funny. Would you say there are more 80's feathered looks, or more mullets, in Nebraska?!
ew..
Was it YOU Perez? HHAHHHAHAHAA
[Re: Yellow Peeps – according to my math, that only leaves room for 1/3rd of the men to have mullets.
BUT- when you add the women of Nebraska to the equation, it all evens out.
Is that a Prince Charles dildo?
I also don't get why, in Nebraska, they would describe him as "1.8 metres tall". What the eff?
Re: sugar boobies – it was probably posted in a uk paper or website. they find small town american news amusing…
LOL
L
M
F
A
O
thats one of the funniest things i've heard in ages!!!!! absolute lols at the name Butt Bandit.
EFFING HILARIOUS
Re: harrybalsac –
hey hobitchfukard fukhead
I didn't say anything mean to LettyB, you dick..
wtf..no one cares if your balls are hairy..got it???
You better get off of LettyB or I'm
sending some of my boy's .
my butt
still hurts
damn it's fun
to be gay.