Dane Cook Is An Idiot
Filed under: Dane Cook
"Funny" man Dane Cook recently went on a tirade against the promotional posters for his upcoming movie, My Best Friend's Girl. He wrote all about it on his blog.
But, the following really makes Cook look the moron!
The comic is embroiled in a bitter legal battle over his not picking up after his dog when it poops at his Hollywood apartment.
Last month, a judge ruled to evict the smelly Cook from his apartment complex since no one was picking up after his dog.
So what's Dane to do?
He's going to counter that and take his "case" to court again.
Cook says that he just CAN'T leave his apartment.
The reason?
Apparently he needs the "presence" of former comedians John Belushi and Steve Martin, who used to live in the apartment building, to inspire him.
Seriously.
According to Cook, he only rented the apartment since his "heroes" Belushi and Martin used to live at the same complex back in the day.
Cook claims in his court documents that if he leaves his apartment, he'll suffer "mental and emotional" damage, which would ruin his career.
Really???
Here's a simple solution, pick up your dog's shit! But it's too late for that.
Why not use all the money you've made to buy a nice house? Have Steve Martin come and take a big shit in it!
In the court documents, Cook states, "I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration."
He adds, "In the same way that writers can get writer's block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and 'stories'; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I've seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it's destroyed careers."
We think this is a total waste of the court's time.
However, on a nicer move, Cook did add that he'll pay the owner of the complex $40,000 to cover all of the issues his dog has caused, only if he's allowed to stay.
That doesn't sound too bad to us.
The owner should take the check and make Cook pay $1,000 for every additional piece of poop his dog drops and he doesn't pick up.
Maybe with all that extra income, the owner can give the other tenants a cut on the rent?
[Image via Mavrix Online.]
lettyb…why haven't you changed your goddamn picture???
Re: abercorey – hey lover. i missed you. now feed me that dark man meat.
That is crazy. The owner should make Dane eat some dog shit if he wants to stay.
Some mysteries abound like why do girls have only one vagina and only two tities to suck on and who finds this guy funny?.
What ASSHAT has he become.
He's "afraid he'll run out of ideas". What's stopping him from just stealing material from other comedians? He's done it in the past. He's a no-talent thief. Pathetic.
Who cares. I'd still do him.
weird
Re: abercorey – Did you order the cumofsumyounguy!
Lamest defense ever
Umm yeah he's a tool and he's really not even funny
Re: abercorey –
I may just boycott this site until that pic has been removed from these premises lol
Huh? Dane, crack is whack, okay?
He doesn't want to pick up poop..as if he has anything better to do
I HATE Dane Cook. Not funny at ALL.
He's not even funny, and he's clearly a complete flake. He and Chappel should be room mates
ewwww but dane is supa dupa dreamy yum
Re: harrybalsac –
no but I want the cumofthisyungguy——->Re: Swimstud –
I missed you too baby….and i've got a spicy bucket of dark meat ready at your disposal….
Stain Cook=Major Tool
Re: abercorey – SHUT UP ABERCRACKY!
O…k. Sounds like Perez has something against Mr. Cook! mwahahaha.
Cook claims that if he leaves his apartment, he'll suffer "mental and emotional" damage, which would ruin his career.
Sounds like you got the mental part down Mr. Cook.
LOL
what a douche bag. he makes me sick.
Re: abercorey – ummm, it's ass lickin good.
BOO!
he's still hot.
not as hot as you abercorey.:)
sounds like someone should consider meds… or a dog walker!!!
he showed me his dick at a friend's housewarming party earlier this year. I know it's not relevant, but thought you might find it interesting
He definately needs the presence of good comedians, because just being loud and obnoxious does not make you funny. I can tell stories and be loud too Dane! You need a microdermabrasion damnit.
Gross- he has $40,000 worth of dog shit to clean up?
Re: mama of 2 –
aww well thank you darlin….im sure your ass is more shapely than his too
Re: PunkyBrewstein – YU ARE SO FUCKED UP, YOU IDIOT!
Well someone should tell him its not working…. he sucks bigtime…. not funny at all!!! He should move out and save his money, he's going to need it.
Re: PunkyBrewstein –
I gotta ask… Was it a decent size?
That's so fucking gross. He's disgusting. He should be used to picking up shit. Lord knows he's picked up enough shitty flicks.
Re: LettyB – Hey LettyB, what happened to your buddy Andy?
I thought Harvey and company posted a story a few weeks ago about how this fool was moving to some mansion?????
@ Abercorey and Swimstud:
Damn you two!!! I'm about to buy ya'll a plane ticket so ya'll can meet up and take care of business!!!!
Whew, you two better hurry up and work something out, then film it for us!!!!!!!!!
Re: abercorey – you can bounce a quarter off it!!!
Re: PunkyBrewstein – thanks for sharing.
Re: HomeOfTheSweaterCows – yes, looking back it was very nice (nothing too extraordinary), but it just wasn't the right time to show it off
What an idiot! Whatever, cant he just hire someone to do it? Lamer!
Everyone knows half of his material is stolen anyway…so if the court takes that into consideration then he has no case!!!
Dane Cook is disgusting.
Search YouTube: Giuliani Responds to Sarah Palin Watching Tina Fey on SNL (with Volume Off)
Perez, I would talk, you got evicted from your place a couple years ago because you were too dirty, remember??? or have you disassociated yourself with "fat" perez?
LMAO— Love You DANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: _Alice_ – HOPEFULLY HE DIED!
Dane Cook is terrible. Not funny. Can't act.
-
He's even more of a douche than John Mayer.
I love that little white dog.
Re: LettyB – Hahahahaha…You rock LettyB.
lol @ the dog shitting graphic
His "muse." Christ this guy is an egomaniac. I doubt Shakespeare would utter such ludicrous comments.
LOL REZ! good idea on the last one there…honestly some of these tools think they own the world..how about the emotional stress caused by his leaving his pups poo in common areas and ignoring the needs of his neighbors…mabye they should get together and sue him for causing them emotional distress.
A much deserved cut on the rent for having to tolerate that entitled fucker…
evict evict evict.
Ummm, okay, their presence? Steve Martin is still living sooooo someone needs to tell this nutjob that if he wants to be in Steve's presence then he needs to find out where Steve is and go see him… What a wack nut.
He is just not funny. Period.
He needs therapy. This sounds like superstitious baloney.
Re: rrrachowww – No kidding. Dane Crook is a horrible comedian. All he does is yell at the audience and make completely offensive jokes about women and people he thinks are "retarded". What an ass. He's finally getting what he deserves. Pick up after your dog, you jackass.
He is such a waste of time! Inspiration from his dog shit, that's what! There are plenty of people out of work that he could hire for that job. Besides, didn't all his movies suck? Jessica Simpson actually was better in Employee of the Month then he was and that is saying A LOT actually!
He should be channeling Devine for help with the dog shit problem.
Geezus People.
Hes Most Likely Not Serious About This.
He Is A Comedian.
=)
Gawwwd I Love him
Eww. He should clean up after his pooch. However, I'd still do him.
He needs inspiration for what?….to do his crappy comedy??….lol
Thank god I don't live in fucking NYC or anywhere else that picking up dogshit is considered the IN thing to do….
I live in a small town and everyone lets their dog shit everywhere..which is the way it is in NORMAL places. Hey..it's biodegradeable…UNLIKE YOUR PLASTIC BAGS AND YOUR FUCKING WATER BOTTLES WHICH WILL NOT DEGRADE IN THE LANDFILL FOR EONS!!!
Hahahah I love your dog drawing Perez XD
LOL, I hate this guy with such a passion. I proudly represent the "Dane Cook Sucks" myspace page. So my question is, Inspiration??? LOL, since when do you need that to sit in front of your tv and copy notes from other peoples material????
What a tool. That picture is hysterical w/ the little dog in the corner! I think that should be your standard Dane Cook shot from now on.
Pff, he's been stealing everyones else idea this whole time….kick his ass out.
I wonder if he collected some of kate hudson's poop from the movie set the turd would look like owen wilson's nose. I would think he would have a smelly apartment if there is poop everywhere. that is just plain nasty and pure lazy dude does he just poop in the bed while having sex with a girl who would go to his place to shag. his dog would poop on your back while having sex there.
This guy has "half-wit" written all over his face.
He doesn't need to come up with his own material anymore - he's a sell out.
LOL @ the white dog. Perfect.
Dane Cook is hot.
hated in the industry: deserves to be gutted for not pickin up after his ugly dog.
I like dan cook i think he is funny give him a break.