Fart Monster
Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True > Legal Matters > Mugshot Hall Of Fame
This is not a joke.
West Virginia resident Jose Cruz was a very bad boy.
While being booked for a DUI, Cruz kept on with his naughty ways and purposely 'passed gas' on a cop.
Fart machine!!!
According to the police report, Cruz allegedly "lifted his leg and passed gas loudly" on said cop and "then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto the cop."
He's giving us some good ideas!
The complaint filed goes on to say, "The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature".
In addition to the DUI, Cruz was slapped with battery on a police officer for the farting incident.
Reality can be sooo much funnier than fiction sometimes!
The farting business is funny, but the DUI is not!
Don't drink and drive, y'all!
Posted: September 24, 2008 at 7:15 pm
That guy owns.
ahaha… my friend farted in a cop car once but nothing happened to him
i heard this story like a year or two ago. saw the video.
haha good cops suck
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
farting is not funny
hahahahahahahaha!!!
According to the police report, Cruz allegedly "lifted his leg and passed gas loudly" on said cop and "then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto the cop."
THAT SHIT HAS TO BE AN ALL TIME CLASSIC IN THE BOOKING REPORTS ACROSS AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I read the arrest report and he moved his chair almost 4 ft to get closer to the cop, lifted his leg, farted and then fanned it at the cop. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
deport his ass.
how classy!
hahahahahahaha!
"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature". Tooooo funny.
who does that?!
OMG this is so FUNNY i'm seriously LMFAO right now.. wow.. don't drink and drive ever.. and furthermore do not fart on a police officer.. lol lol lol
God Bless America, each and everyone of us.
That guy sure looks like a winner who clearly quit school mid-third grade. "Take THAT officer! Woo!"
FARTING IS FUNNY!!!!! This guy sounds like my husband or any man for that matter. =)
Too bad it's not on tape.
hahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha….shit is hilarious
omg i laughed so hard
he's my hero now =O
xoxo
You think being rude to a policeman/woman who is doing their job is funny? Too bad the cop didn't crap on the guy. I'd support that. I'd have superglued his butt shut. I don't know about YOU, but I'd prefer the cops get respect for being willing to put themselves on the line and stop jackasses from driving drunk.
EVERYONE knows that those Budweiser farts are the absolute worst! LMAO
In all seriousness, though….I have a brother who just loooooved to 'poot' on me and my sisters, when we were kids. Take it from me…short sheeting their bed, putting laxatives in their favorite snacks (even if it means spending an ENTIRE weeks allowance on the stuff) and a good hard punch to the extremity of your choice usually cures them. That is, until they get another case of gas…then it starts all over again. ROTFLMAO
Gawd, I miss childhood.
yeeeowwzers!
a spic actually
made his way
into the back woods
of WVA?
maybe he can get the board at
*
*
*
WVU
**
to grant him an
MBA like
MYLAN EXEC
HEATHER BRESCH
WHICH WASN'T EARNED!!!
gotta love
wva
Re: Cherry Bomb – You are either a cop, or related to one, aren't you?
A sense of humor is a glorious thing. Invest in one.
OMFG…..I live in southern Ohio, so why am I not suprised that this is coming out of WV?
ESTE TIPO SE ESTABA CAGANDO EN EL CARRO DE POLICIA.AY DIOS MIO NO LO CREO….NO LO CREO.QUE RISA…..THIS IS TOO FUCKING FUNNY.THIS SHIT IS TOO MUCH.
lol@ farting on the cops.
Damn..a battery charge? What did he fucking assault? Your delicate nose and olfactory set up were offended? Shut the fuck up you fucking pansies. waaah waah waahh
Was it extra smelly because he was Mexican? I'm not racist …seriously SO NOT racist…but I know after I eat Mexican food ummm…my shit isn't always gardenias and roses
That goes for tasty ass Indian food too!
Re: Anonymous – I agree with you!
Re: Cherry Bomb – I thought the description of the odor was funny. Not that he did this to a cop. Had this been done it to Perez, you know you'd be laughing too!
hmm
How the fuck is this celebrity gossip? Perez, STOP TRYING TO TURN THIS INTO A REAL NEWS SITE! IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!
Battery? See what these pigs can do? I'm surprised they didn't use the "Patriot Act" and call him a terrorist. Like the Beasties said…"You've gotta fight for your right to paarrrrrrty."
The cops here in Sac. aren't worth my effort to fart in their faces!
I'm so relieved that this isn't that bad really.. When I saw West Virginia I just knew that it was going to be something mean about us.. but Im so greatful that it's not!
people don't diss on WV especially if you've never been here. WV is one of the most beautiful states in the country and MOST of the people here in WV are the nicest, most caring and supportive people you will ever meet in your life.
What a dumbass!
what the fuck, that's not battery! cops need to get over themselves, seriously. i could see it if he spit on the cop, but a fart? give me a fucking break.
lmao guys would pay for this
Ughhh they had to say that it was in WV didn't they?? This man gives our state a bad name. West Virginia is a wonderful place filled with good people, but it's the few whackjobs who ruin our reputation and give us the stereotype of being dumb rednecks.
That is just nasty!!!!!! But to hear a story like that it is sooooooo fuckin funny.
battery ona police officer!!??? Please- he fucking farted! who cares if he did it on purpose or if it stunk-it's a FART…HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT ANYWAYS- if he hadn't have fanned it, the cop would have just endured the odor.
What BS- tax $$ at work.
THE DUIIS THE ISSUE- this is why no body likes cops-
I bet he smells f-ing wonerful after he goes home and drinks himself into a stupor and beats his wife with his farts.
Re: Cherry Bomb –
douche.
Re: WVU_Girl – Re: rconfromthafort – Listen up, you two. NO ONE is saying that EVERY WV native is capable of 'purposely emitting a noxious odor, from the lower quadrant of their bodies…while in the vicinity of another beings nasal cavity'.
For crying out loud…I was born and raised in Chicago and now live in Wisconsin. You will NEVER see, nor hear, me taking offense at Al Capone, Bugs Moran, Jeffrey Dahmer and Ed Gein references. And, these four are HARDLY the only degenerates that committed heinous crimes in Chicago and WI.
The crimes, that SOME people commit, do NOT define a city, state or country…the honest, hard working, respectable people do.
Re: Cherry Bomb – STFU
BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
that is so awesome.
dang first i hear you can get a DUI for driving your bike drunk
and now I hear some guy got arrested for a DUI *he probably was driving a car* and then farted on the cop …. what an idiot obviously was drunk!
omg this is so funny
Re: xiahnsaya1004 – you can also get a dui on a riding lawn mower.
dont drink and fart lol!!
Re: xiahnsaya1004 – Whether you are on a bicycle, motorcycle, lawn/farm tractor, car, truck, etc….if you are trying to get from point A to point B on a State/city/county road, highway or street you CAN be arrested for DUI (If you even appear to be intoxicated).
Were you absent on the day that this was taught in Drivers Ed?
HAHAHA!!! Too funny Perezcious!!!
Who knows where I can see the video?????
What an idiot!
He should be locked in
a cell with Nick Hogan!
hahaha! it's even funnier to me cuz that's my dad's name!
gross.
but fricken hilarious.
Everyone farts. Everyone burps. It's called being human. And those who say they don't are liars - big time.
I have to agree w/ Mommie Dearest though, on this one! He ate too many refried beans.
This douche bag has been arrested numerous times, twice for DUI.
He should be given the gas mask.
Re: MOMMIE DEAREST –
you wrote: Deport his ass
I am writing: How presumptuous of you. He could be American born!
You should be deported…. to outer space.
wow, perezhilton users have reached a new low, because of all the stupid and ignorant comments i read on a day to day basis on this website, i never intended to comment, but this is just ridiculous, how are you people idolizing a degenerate drunk driver for farting at a police officer. Does this make him a better person, has he accomplished anything at all, than get a battery charge slapped onto his DUI? Just look at his mugshot, he wouldve killed somebody if the officer hadnt detained him. I have a sense of humor just like the next guy, but this just shows how uneducated and idiotic the majority of perezhilton commenters are. Thank GOD at least the general public doesnt feel this way.
shouldnt have been drinking and driving, but the faring thing omg LMFAO that is too funny, you know that is 1 charge thats going to get thrown out ( or at least it should be)
but can you imagine being in the court room when the judge ask's what happened? LOL
Re: amylala – it's not wva anymore..just WV
Re: lefty lady – w/e u would say that.
Re: WVU_Girl – RiGHT ON girl!!!!! but i have to say this… GO HERD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: d3 – stupid and ignorant is the same thing… y do u read perehilton.com if u think its stupid..so just stfu.
LOL- I loooooove fart jokes! Since when is a fart NOT "odorous"?? Jaminey Christmas I'd hate to think what this guy's fart smelled like when I consider my cute little kitties and their "silent but deadly" passings!! My husband and I will be sitting in bed or on the couch with one of the cats sitting nearby and a horrible smell will fill the air and we ask each other if we farted and if it's no, we know it was the cat!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS!
that is seriously funny lol
The farting? Funny. The battery? 100% stupid.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
ugh!! its guys like him that give us west virginians a bad name! not all of us are hicks and imbread ya kno! we have cities and not all of it is back woods. okay most of it is, but still, we get a bad name for no reason. its ridiculous!
on the site Perez got this from, it also reads that he said: 'Here, put that in your Breathalyzer"
LOLLLLL!
HAHAHAHA!
Thanks…this story gave me a good laugh!
OMG!!!! That is so funny! I LOVE a good old fart story. LOL
Charges have been dropped against him, but I totally applaud that kid !!
That's all West Virginians do is fart, lay around and collect SSI checks. Oh yea, and bust up pills and snort them. Don't trash me for saying that, I'm talking about some of my cousin's.