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Michael Lohans Needs His Internets DISCONNECTED!

| Filed under: Lindsay LohanCelebrity FeudsDina LohanMichael LohanSamantha Ronson


Just when we were beginning to wonder when Michael Lohan would open his big mouth following Lindsay's coming out, we've finally got it.

That did not take long at all!

Michael is not one to disappoint! Especially when it comes to being a class act father!

In an email to reporters, Michael writes that he wants saMAN out of Lindsay's life and unable to think of his own material, he refers to Ronson as "SaMANtha" throughout.

Step off, Michael!

Blabbing to the press as any concerned parent would do, Michael says that he believes saMAN wrote the MySpace blog in which LezLo disses on her dad.

These people need to step away from the computer.

Daddy Lohan goes on to praise Joe Francis and agrees with the Girls Gone Wild founder that Samantha is actually controlling Lindsay.

"He wasn't a bad guy when he flew Lindsay around on his jet, opened the doors to his home or tried to help, was he?," says Michael.

Um, we'd like to remind you that Joe Francis is the man who gets underaged girls drunk and coaxes them into taking off their clothes.

Continuing his diatribe, Poppa Lohan has these colorful words for Samantha:

"There is a lot more to Samantha then meets the eyes, not that what we see is too pleasing anyway! I mean, what's with this … 'person'??? Look at the way she 'dresses'? Once more, she uses her middle finger more than she uses words! Personally, I think she is dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity.

God will weed her out of Lindsay's life and at that time, you will finally see Lindsay back in the place where she belongs. Not doing independent films, guest starring on [a] TV show, being a guest judge on a reality TV show or making appearances at Samantha's DJ gigs. Is this the Lindsay we all knew and loved before Samantha came into her life? No!!! When she got out of Cirque Lodge everything looked good until Samantha came on the 'scene.'"

Reading that hurt our big fat head!

Michael adds that even though mother and ex-wife Dina Lohan publicly praised Ronson, she knows that Sam has upset Lindsay with threats of a tell-all book.

Dina could not be reached for comment.

Poppa Lohan concludes that he will not rest "until this dark, evil nemesis is out of Lindsay's life."

Is he talking about himself????

[Image via WENN.]

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82 comments to “Michael Lohans Needs His Internets DISCONNECTED!”

  1. 1

    …is this man employeed? I'll be "Dancing In The STreet" if I never see his puss again.

  2. 2

    why do you feed into it?

  3. 3

    It's sad how people are such hyporcites. They stand behind their religion and claim this and that but they still verbally attack people. He is a douchebag.

  4. 4

    perez…sue him for copyright infringement saMANtha

  5. 5

    With a daddy like that, no wonder she gave up on men.

  6. 6

    Perez, you are wrong, the girls in Girls Gone Wild 'LIE' all the time when asked if they are of legal age, because they want to be on film. Stop spreading rumors!!!!!!!

  7. 7



  8. 8

    She's eatin' his Meal ticket!

  9. Sammy says – reply to this


    This "man" can care less to see his daughter happy! She is finally at a good place in her life and he says Sam is a bad influence I think she finally someone that is real with her and loves her. Michael move on with your life and leave them alone!!!!

  10. 10

    I love how this guy talks about God and righting Lindsay's life. He needs to have God rescue HIM and his bullshit before he can expand out like that.

    Gee, since Samantha's been in Lindsay's life, she's cut down on the drunken binges, has pretty much behaved and, for all intents and purposes, seems to have sobered up.

    I may not have the hots for Samantha, but she seems to be giving Lindsay what she needs and it's obvious they are a loving couple. Who cares (besides a lying adulterous money launderer) if they are lesbians?

  11. 11

    Please don't show Sam's camel toe.

  12. Sammy says – reply to this


    Re: HollywoodTown – That is not nice of you to say, one day someone in your family will get the illness which hits most families and you will regret you wished it upon someone else, if you do not like Perez go to TMz

  13. 13

    yah that's right douche, take advice from the girls gone wild guy!!! fucktard!

  14. 14

    perez, stop reporting stuff on him!
    if we all just ignored him and nobody ever reported anything on him, he would go away.
    im mean seriously, why do we care, he's not a celeb, altho he might wanna be.
    just like linda hogan. nobody cares!

  15. 15


  16. 16

    What. A. Jerk.

  17. 17

    thats jackass needs to stfu seriously.

  18. 18

    Re: harrybalsac – that is def not a camel toe i would want to see! lol!

  19. 19

    Re: Melissa is always right

    I agree!

    Who cares who she is with..she seems happy in love and is not getting drunk or doing crazy things! she is obviously better off without him. I feel bad for her can you imagine your DAD dissing you all the god damn time on the internet etc? Fuck him Girl you are better off without him xxx I hope it works out for you and Sam you seem happy and if my kids can have that then I am blessed..thats all we can ask for happy kids xx

  20. 20

    So when Lindsay will be back in drinks and drugs?Its very obvious he wont let her be happy ever.he wants a britney.

  21. 21

    Re: LettyB
    Hi LettyB
    Y isn't Lezloz dad buzy in the MOb>/?
    He is from New Jerzey…!

  22. 22

    who cares what he has to say. before telling someone else how to live their lives, he should figure his own out first!

  23. 23

    ""God will weed her out of Lindsay's life and at that time, you will finally see Lindsay back in the place where she belongs. ""

    Um, a coked out drunk whore killing her career? She seems much more stable now. his parenting and her own demons brought her down before, now she needs to be stable, build her reputation back up and get hollywood used to the fact that she can be trusted to work. how does she do this? By making indie movies and guest starring on TV shows. He seems to think that she could just turn around and say "Ok, I'm ready to do a big studio picture now!" What a douche, This girl didn't have a chance with her two parents.

  24. 24


    a) Do you enjoy fucking midgets?

    b) Have you ever been fisted?

    c) Are you into stranglelation?

    If you answered yes to all questions congrats! Your my new bitch! You get a 30% cut and room and board.

  25. 25

    Re: harrybalsac – camel toe is so uncomfortable. but it happens to the best of us sometimes!!!! :)

  26. 26

    It appears this jerkoff is more concerned with his daughter's career then anything else. What an ass. I feel sorry for Lindsay having a douche like that for a father. She appears to be happy. If you can't support her, just shut the fuck up. Douche!

  27. 27

    Michael always has his dick in his mouth.

  28. 28

    Re: harrybalsac – i really don't like dirty old man. can you do something about him?

  29. 29

    Re: harrybalsac – But It's camel toe wednesdays.

  30. 30

    He needs to go back to jail!!!!

  31. 31

    Anyone hear Hussein Obama today? Uhm - yeah we need — uhm -uhm - yeah change - uhm - yeah that - uuhm uhm uhm What a fool this loser is.

  32. DaLa says – reply to this


    Perez, YOU ARE WRITING THE SCRIPT for this douche! You're the one who's been ragging on this couple for months. YOU'RE the one who coined the juvenile "saMANtha" monicker. Just SHUT UP and perhaps M. Lohan will too.

  33. 33

    He is a horrible judgemental man and isn't Christian at all. What a hypocrite!

  34. 34

    OK… Samantha obviously writes FOR Lindsay, and has on many occasions… DUH! Lindsay's her bitch, and she'll say whatever she damn well pleases, and LiLo is gonna sit around and… well, who knows what she is thinking? I wish her well, though.

    On the other hand, Lindsay's mother (especially!!!!!!!!) and father are a train wreck, and what can you expect from a spawn of such? Good luck, Lindsay.

  35. 35

    Stop giving him a spot in your blog everytime he opens his mouth! That is why he does it, because he knows you dumbasses will print it and keep him in the limelight. Forget his hateful ass!!!!

  36. 36

    Re: Dirty old man – You scarein' my bitches ,step off old timer!

  37. 37

    It seems like Lindsay is happy, and shouldn't that be more important to her father than what sex the person is that she dates? He is only saying these things because he doesn't like the fact that his daughter is a lesbian.
    He's an idiot.

  38. 38

    I'm confused Perez, are you bashing MiLo for adopting YOUR nickname for SaMANtha? You're a lesbian hater, why don't you just admit it.

  39. 39

    Re: harrysnatch – If It hurts ,I'll kiss it and make it better!

  40. 40

    He needs to just end himself.

  41. 41

    Re: harrybalsac – wow! my hero!!!! thanks! lol! xoxox

  42. 42

    what a horrible man!
    im lovin lezlo and saMAN. if they really are inlove, or at least happy, then i think thats wondeful for them!

  43. ass says – reply to this


    "he wants saMAN out of Lindsay's life and unable to think of his own material, he refers to Ronson as "SaMANtha" throughout."
    Perez, need I remind you that you steal everyone else's stuff on an almost daily basis? You're such a fucking douchebag.

  44. 44

    ps.- why do ppl spent time to post rude shit about Perez??
    if u dont even like him, GET OFF THE FUCKING SITE.


  45. 45

    daddys little girl is a carpet muncher. boohoo.

  46. 46

    Uuuuummm Michael since you're so "religious" and all now i find it a little odd that you're so concerned with the way Samantha dresses and the way she looks. I don't think God cares about that stuff or otherwise you'd be on the next Ferry to Hell due to your excessive camel balls. What a horrible father. Mine beat me for years and I like him so much more than this guy. What a fucking J-O-K-E.

  47. meh says – reply to this


    This was on the internet days ago. Wonder why Dina is staying quiet on it all? And I can't believe he is critizing Samantha's dress sense!!! look at him.

  48. 48

    "oh daddy dear, you are still number one but girls, they just wanna have fun. that's all they really waaaannt."

  49. j-ho says – reply to this


    wow, shittiest dad ever. i can't believe someone actually wants to marry this idiot.

  50. 50

    I wish Poopa Lohan would stop using God's name to front his own agendas. God is a loving God who would not do any thing to hurt any one of His children. That's what we human's do…but not God. Poopa should take a long hard look at his own life before trying to control anyone else's and act as if he's an authority on what God will do. At least Lindsey is working an honest job, not living off anyone else. It just looks like Lindsey's doing really well and not junked up the way she was. Did you ever stop to think that, Poopa?

  51. 51

    He's such an ass… Lindsay must be mortified, how can she ever forgive him.

  52. 52

    no wonder lindsay is so f***ed up. I'm surprised she can read with parents like hers.

  53. 53

    that girl in the background looks like the girl from americas next top model that passed out in judging. i can't remeber her name, maybe rebecca. who is that woman, is there any pics of her with out her glasses on?

  54. 54

    Daddy can't deal with the fact his daughter is all grown up and that he can no longer make her his puppet. She makes decisions all on her own. He obviously doesn't want a relationship with his own daughter. He keeps hammering the nail. Then it will be too late for him and he will cry out to God why have you let the devil take my daughter? But he will fail to look in the mirror and figure out it was only himself.

  55. 55

    this guy is a total douchey!!! no wonder lindsay doesnt like him. not sure i like saMANtha either though!

  56. 56

    That guy is psycho. It's so obvious that Lindsay is a whole new person since Samantha entered into her life as her girlfriend. I used to LOATHE Lindsay and think she was total trash. But the way she's changed makes me think there's a person underneath all that, she's actually getting cool. Although, I do have to wonder if this whole thing with Michael Lohan being such a douche is a publicity stunt that Lindsay herself is in on.

  57. 57

    How in the HELL can YOU tell ANYONE they need to step away from the computer…pot calling the kettle…HELLO! Mr Lohan is a pig. Even for a dad he is totally obsessed with Lindsay…the whole family worships her…why? Because she is a drug addict lezbo? Oh yeah, its because she is famous and to them that is Godliness. Bunch of freaks, all of them.

  58. 58

    I love the "Is this the Lindsay we all knew and loved before Samantha?" part. Does he mean the coked up passed out bed hopping vage flashing DUI getting girl we all remember? My judgement could be off but I hink this is the best off she has been in her life. Good for her!

  59. 59

    WOW. OK. This man is SO SO wrong!

    Usually i wouldn't pay any attention to him…
    but those things he said about Samantha Ronson are horrible bullshit and it actually made me feel really bad for her is she ends up reading it,
    which she probably will.
    Nobody should have to read something like that.

  60. 60

    Hmm since Sam came into the picture Linds has been sober, off drugs and has been handcuffs free

    ML is right get that no fun loser out of lind's life,
    We want photos of her passed out in the front seats of cars… arrested for being a drugged up idiot and we haven't had a lind's vagina shot in ages

  61. 61

    i love how on his list of "bad" things that lindsay is doing these days, I cannot locate one thing worthy of reproach. let's do a little before and after. before sam: rehab, dui's, bad press. after sam: happy, she's got her shit together, and is actually doing interesting work. go lindsay!

  62. Wrenn says – reply to this


    Poor Lindsay…how can she help but be messed up? I don't know who is the biggest loon…her mom or her dad? There is no way that any child can come away from these two parents without being messed up…NO WAY!!!

  63. Anonymous says – reply to this


    Hey, I wonder if Malaysia would be willing to do a foreign exchange….their blogger for our resident idiot. Lohan has experience being locked up…he can do the 2 years standing on his head.

  64. 64

    Michael Lohan is a horrible father and I feel so sad for his children.

  65. 65

    Hey, don't diss Joe Franklin and Girls Gone Wild!! Where else can us old farts go to see underage poontang?
    How is Michael supporting himself?

  66. 66

    This is awesome! I love their family dramz.

  67. 67

    WHAT A JERK!!! I hope Lindsay will talk to him NEVER again!!!!!!!!!

  68. 68

    they all need to shut the fuck up

  69. 69

    He sounds like such an asshole. When he mentions how Lindsay is not doing important-enough projects is just sounds like he's annoyed she losing star power, and thus, money. Maybe she's finally happy in her life and doesn't care about the money. Any good parent would be happy their kid is happy and not trying to be some hanger-on jerk for the money and attention. Just sayin'

  70. 70

    this dude is a fucking monster…..I know you aren't a fan of samantha…I don't give a shit about any of them but it seems that with her lindsay has been laying off the crazy….I would love for them to get married have many cats together. then maybe daddys head will explode clean off his body….dads are overrated anyways.

  71. 71


  72. 72

    What ini the hell is wrong with doing independant films? Some of us prefer actors that do it for the sake of art, rather than selling their soul for the highest paychecks and the most predictable, Hollywood blockbuster films. Lindsay could be running around trying to be the most famous, most attention whoring person in the game, but to me, she seems more happy, more peaceful than she ever did when she was dying to be on all the tabloid covers. If that means being with someone that some people don't like, who cares? It's not anyone's business who makes her happy, but I guess Papa Lohan wants someone with tons of money he can sponge off of, rather than wanting someone who's happy with her life.

  73. 73

    is new girlfriend is always alone in the back lol
    such a stupid father!

  74. 74

    well i think he is right, MAN is a bad influence for lindsay and we all loved lindsay before saMAN came around, she is like kevin federline, he ruined britneys carreer and he made her fans hate her

  75. 75

    i'm impressed, for once he (perez) didn't talk shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  76. 76

    God only knows what "projects" he would approve of. No indie films? She has to make more $$ for the fam? STFU asshole. Go fuck up your son, now. It's time.

  77. 77

    Michael - we all know you're reading this. If the only way you can get your head in the press is to use your daughters life to comment on then you are one truly pathetic individual. To make the types of comments that you do makes you one truly pathetic father. No child owes their parents an explanation on their choice of lifestyle and to publicly denounce (quite brutally) your daughters choice you are ensuring any doorway you once had to her heart will be forever slammed shut. I'm not worried - people like you always get whats coming to them - it's called karma. You're really a piece of work - I'm glad you're not my dad.

  78. 78

    He's just pissed cause Lindsey is in a relationship with a women and thats against his personal beliefs of what God is like.

  79. 79

    Whoever said that to perez…y the f r u so concerned whether u like him or not leave him alone u f'in loser..perez is my dawg p.s daddy lohan needs to b declared w a mental disorder back the f off daddy.lo

  80. 80

    Is he crazy or he's just on coke!?
    Lindsay looks better than ever
    acts nicely and is off drugs!
    Samantha's being a good influence on her life,
    and he likes joe francis better?
    now we know what he likes???!!!!!

  81. 81

    Re: Dirty old man – LOL!
    he won't disappoint you!

  82. 82

    This poor girl nowonder she is having the problems she having.She has no parental surpport.
    Both of her parents have not been there for her. her father is a nut case and her mother
    wants to be her best friend.Diana honey you do not look young give it up.