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By Popular Demand!

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We can't believe the overwhelming positive response we've gotten from our debut song, The Clap.

We had a lot of fun making it with our friend Lucian.

Perez wrote all the lyrics and a lot of you have been asking for a transcript. So, here it is below.

Oh, and if you haven't gotten yours yet, CLICK HERE to buy a copy of The Clap on iTunes today!

"the clap"

spring break
there are no rules
gonna do it
by the pool
get drunk
break a' dawn
this is how
I get it on

rub some lotion
on my back
massage it down
into my crack
the day is young
and I am hung
spring break is
so much fucking fun

but let me tell you kids
what my mom told me…

when you love someone
take it slow
don't let them rape your bussy-hole
cause if he's not wrapped
you're ass is trapped
and you'll end up with the clap
CLAP
gonorrhea

smelly whores
on the shore
love to take it
on all fours
dirty sluts
in the club
wanna get their
coochies rubbed

when you're back
at motel 6
you're craving cock
must get its fix
gang bang
squeal and moan
porno stars
your daddy's home

but let me tell you kids
what Jesus says…

when you love someone
let it show
tell him that you're a trashy ho
if you got a sling
and that's your thing
that's how your priest got the clap

gonnorhea, chlamydia, herpes and scabies
I don't care if you've got crabs, I wanna have your babies
I'll be your dirty doctor, and I'll nurse you when you're sick
And when you're feeling better, I am gonna milk your dick

sperminate me
i'll be the next pregnant man
you'll see us on oprah
and we'll live happily ever after…

and then she'll marry us
and give us a free honeymoon to hawaii
because she's oprah
and that's what she does

but let me tell you kids
what Oprah says…

when you love someone
you will know
he'll give your face
that special glow
but when his love grows stale
call up Gayle
cause she doesn't have the clap
CLAP
gonorrhea

everybody follow along
let's go back to the start of the song

ready mom?

when you love someone
take it slow
don't let them rape your bussy-hole
cause if he's not wrapped
you're ass is trapped
and you'll end up with the clap
CLAP
gonorrhea

[Image by Hannah Ross.]

    Posted: Sep 25, 2008 at 7:20 pm / Email this  »
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    230 comments to “By Popular Demand!”

    More comments: [1] 2 3 »



    1. 1

      Disgusting!



    2. 2

      …



    3. 3

      FIRST !



    4. 4

      FIRST



    5. 5

      I WAS HERE



    6. 6

      definitely hoping that was a parody, perez… i think i'm gonna hurl.



    7. 7

      first?



    8. 8

      Luvs it..marry me perez?



    9. 9

      Good job. I can't wait to see the movie and hear the rest of the soundtrack.
      This was a fun and clever way for you to make a song. It is funny and campy. Stick to this style of music and you can debut a complete album full of dirty lyrics.

    10. bee85 says – reply to this


      10

      HAHA Hilarious!!!



    11. 11

      if only it were available through zune honey, i can't do itunes anymore, but i'll stop by and listen and laugh.

    12. dmv says – reply to this


      12

      christ perez, why must you always have your cock luvin mouth agape? haha j/k



    13. 13

      Nice - super fun Perez!! Love it!



    14. 14

      XD omg the lyrics made me laugh



    15. 15

      What amazing lyrics! Perez is like the new john lennon only better!



    16. 16

      Well done Perez, I could not have said it better.



    17. 17

      WTF was that?? What a fucking joke you are.



    18. 18

      Jesus Christ Perez
      You are so much worse than those teenie boppers who think they can sing/dance/act, design clothes, etc. etc.
      and its funny because you hate on them all to
      you're clothing line is disgusting (you have the nerve to hate on avril lavigne when you produce that crap and call yourself a designed)
      your song was probabaly written by someone else, and it better be a 1 time joke!!
      stick to what your good at and talk about other celebrities, dont try and turn yourself into one. i dont wanna start seeing your face on the red carpet and on tv



    19. 19

      still boring….

      and a good way to sell this lame music…put it everyday on the top of your blog



    20. 20

      perez you disgusting piece of man-whore, your song sucks, but i still love ya.. you sexy whore



    21. 21

      Oh My! P - Nasty?

      Love U… BUT that is WAY TOO MUCH IN the faces of us STRAIGHT ASSES … Too Much Info Luvy?!

      Catchy .. My Kid's won't hear it …

      Still Luv Ya …. LOL

      But I laughed … for a hetero …



    22. 22

      hahahaha that's fucking brilliant



    23. 23

      awesome. thats all i can say.



    24. 24

      I love child porn! I've been inspired by this song so much that i've written a songs about it like "you can't run" and "nobody will believe you" Your an inspiration perez!.



    25. 25

      funny as hell!

      everyones going to bitching over this one…
      IF YOU DONT LIKE PEREZ, THEN WHY ARE YOU ON THIS SITE?



    26. 26

      Lalalalalalalaaaaa…



    27. 27

      Fucking AWESOME!!!

    28. DALE says – reply to this


      28

      Impressionable 15 year old kids will find this shit funny, just as they would find fart jokes funny, everyone else will see you for what you are, a mentally disturbed loner.

    29. JZ says – reply to this


      29

      You got part of your own lyrics wrong. At "everybody sing along" you say "follow along".



    30. 30

      merci beaucoup
      (how can french people get the song ?)



    31. 31

      Re: DALE – well stated.
      *
      i didn't listen to more than about 10 seconds of the song - after reading that, i'm extra glad i didn't. that's nasty perez, even worse ’cause it is coming from you. stop showing those long fangs, it's not attractive.



    32. 32

      lawlz

    33. DALE says – reply to this


      33

      Rape is hilarious (sarcasm) as well as people who have sexual diseases (more sarcasm). You left out people who live in poverty, coloured people and children with birth effects to make it more "funny". You need to post a photo of yourself with "talentless hack" or "douchebag" on it, because it describes you perfectly.



    34. 34

      You just wanted another excuse to post it again lmao ;)



    35. 35

      I was going to tear you a new asshole for this shit, but that dumb song made me laugh. Whore it out, honey.



    36. 36

      Wow Perez, intellectual lines for your intellectual audience… J/K. Love ya, you are too funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) xoxoxo



    37. 37

      PS ~ It's catchy, like that High School Musical MUZAK shit.



    38. 38

      Re: AaronFernandes – No sorry I was, but since you said it & wasn't , you have to blow me, that's the rules so start suckin'!



    39. 39

      love it made me laugh the through the whole thing gonna go buy it and get more laughs out of it…….awesome…..



    40. 40

      Bravo, Perez. Disgustingly catchy and delicious!



    41. 41

      love it love it love it!!! When does the cd come out??????



    42. 42

      i fricken love this song lol



    43. 43

      freakin' love it Perez. Everyone in the college library where I am does too :)



    44. 44

      HAHAHAHAHAH Hve a sense of humor JEEZO



    45. 45

      oh lovely!
      a memoir of Perez's.



    46. 46

      classy.



    47. 47

      so good! It's stuck in my head now! the clap is never not funny!



    48. 48

      Your mother must be bursting with pride.



    49. 49

      Please no more photos of yourself. Or songs. Thanks.



    50. 50

      I get that chorus stuck in my head!!! LOVE IT!
      To all the haters- if you haven't noticed the website you're on is called "PEREZHILTON.COM" if you don't like it then why bother signing up for a profile?! idiots. LOVE YOU PEREZ!!!



    51. 51

      LOVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



    52. 52

      ok perez really?
      you make fun of miley cyrus in her singing and then you make this song and it kinda sucks. please stop this none sense. this is a disgusting song and you call miley a bad influence?!?!?!
      when your song is all about this disgusting stuff. STOP MAKING FUN OF MILEY CYRUS!!!!!!!
      thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

    53. jefdo says – reply to this


      53

      eh, maybe you should stick to celebrity gossip.



    54. 54

      This song is actually very cartchy :p
      I want it!
      I want it!
      I want it!



    55. 55

      good job perez lol



    56. 56

      Perez u should have a duet with tina cheng ..its gonna be sick.



    57. 57

      Awsome!

      :]

      GONORRHEA!

      ily perez!



    58. 58

      humm it is funny. congrats bud youve made it



    59. 59

      Ok, you talk about people needing to be responsible, yet you put up things that are just completely crass and should come with a disclaimer for those that are under 18 that shouldn't be exposed to this stuff. You're setting a bad example, Perez.

      Are you so interested in the hits to your site that you don't care about keeping it to 18 and up only? Can we say, HYPOCRITE?



    60. 60

      hilarious!



    61. 61

      i love it! perez, lets fu*k tonight!



    62. 62

      LMAOOOO PEREZ YOUR ROCK MY dick



    63. 63

      You are a disgusting vile foul mouthed pathetic excuse for a man. How dare you mention Jesus's name among all that putrid horrible crap. I think Perez that you will be and have probably already lost a lot of fans. Really it is not funny you will see when most people start turning away from your site because of the content, you scum bag.



    64. 64

      I think your dignity just had an abortion Perez…



    65. 65

      perez you need a duet with tina cheng..you'll gonna make good music together…..



    66. 66

      perez you need a duet with tina cheng..you'll gonna make good music together………….



    67. 67

      at the end of the song you start to sound like Clay Aiken..I swear. I still love the song. Go Perez!



    68. 68

      Re: ERRRBOOO – and you're just figuring this out now?? He draws dicks in people's mouths for christs sake. I'm sure he would draw a dick in Jesus' mouth, too. He is THE biggest celebrity after all!



    69. 69

      this song is sickening. you do realize children read this website, seeing as you post about miley and jonas brothers? you have no respect for your readers or yourself.

      voice= okay. song= disturbing and ridiculous.



    70. 70

      Oh and as to your remark about the priest, (and no I am not catholic) you should remember that 99 % of the molesting priests were HOMOSEXUAL MEN.



    71. 71

      Re: ERRRBOOO – Very well said



    72. 72

      okay, that is so BAD! how could you? and you have the nerve to dis ANYONE after that? It's as terrible as a Heidi Montag song.



    73. 73

      God, this shit is hilarious. Gotta love Perez :)



    74. 74

      GOD YOUR A UGLY MOTHER FUCKER PEREZ. Why do you insist to show your ugly fat mug all the time..HIDE THAT SHIT



    75. 75

      LOL.
      YOU SO ROCK MY WORLD PEREZ.
      lol only you can create such hilarious art.
      Keep reppin' us spics!
      BRAP!



    76. 76

      Re: La Femme – that's easy, he doesn't limit access to people over 18 because he is a PEDO….do the math. the endless non newsworthy articles about the jonas brothers and other teenage boys he has the hots for. I bet the perv gets a secret thrill knowing he's talking dirty to an audience that is largely made up of children. and look at that picture. you want that piece of shit anywhere near your kids??…..hell no. if you do child services should take your kids from you just seconds before they bust off a cap in your head……and the song HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA bitch that riff was ancient when danny elfman got laughed out of a recording execs office trying to sell it in 1983. you're losing your death grip on your fifteen minutes of fame you cuban slab of bacon



    77. 77

      OMIGOD! i love it! haha and to almost think i just about didn't listen to it! Imagine the video clip to this Perez! I'm thinking you should totally do one!



    78. 78

      Perez, I love this song. You are so cute. Next time you color your hair, put it back to blonde and put blue streaks in it and make it curley. I love the black hair, it looks great on you.



    79. 79

      LMFAO
      perez hilton makes my life
      this song is sickkkkk



    80. 80

      LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!! LOVES IT!!!!
      ps… Perez is a sexy BIOTCH!!! GRRR!!!!!



    81. 81

      Yeah baby, this has a certain Baltimore-esque charm to it. John Waters would approve.



    82. 82

      Fucking amazing!! So much fun…
      Hope you have more instore.

      Kiss kiss



    83. 83

      ohhhhhhhhhh kay….

      as long as you don't mind NOT being a respectable opinion in the music biz anymore.



    84. 84

      Oh how I love thee. Hilarious!



    85. 85

      PLEASE DON'T HURT MY EARS EVER AGAIN! THAT'S COMPLETELY HORRIBLE!
      I CLICKED ON THE LINK THIS MORNING TO LISTEN WITH MY HUSBAND, AND HE BEGGED ME TO TURN OFF THAT SHIT. PATETIC!



    86. 86

      jajajaja your made my day xD very funn song Perezitooo :D Mexico Luvs U! :D

    87. jmt says – reply to this


      87

      just sayin….. you make fun of "celebrities" all the time for coming out with garbage singles and albums…. you're going down the same path? ZZzzzzzz………



    88. 88

      as my grammy would say, "thas jus shu' nnnasty!"



    89. 89

      The song is way overrated !!!



    90. 90

      this song is great! i love it! ive heard it like 20 times already :)



    91. 91

      LOL!



    92. 92

      EW thats nasty….
      sorry I dont think STDs are all that funny



    93. 93

      i know you get to do this because you're perez hilton and you have money and connections but - seriously, stop it. stick to drawing cum and dicks over peoples faces. stop making a mockering of music.



    94. 94

      OMFG, THIS is your idea for a hot song? Fuck, I guess it'll appeal to all the demographic you most crave, the skanky 16-26year olds out there….God Perez, any sort of half wit could come up with that, I expected better than that from you….Oh well, so much for standards, I think the Grammys are safe from you but you might be lucky enough to win an Mtv Moon man award



    95. 95

      Gayrez! You are NOT funny; you don’t have any intelligent to form sensual lyrics!!! That crap you wrote is disturbing, disgusting and smelly like your busy-hole!!! You are hypocrite!!!! If that crap was written by someone else, you would call them names and bash the hell out of them!! Guess what.. You don’t even have half a talent those wannabes have!!! And stop calling women with degrading terms like “slut” “whores” it only shows your pathetic insecurity!!! Typical Jealous fag!!!
      “dirty sluts in the club wanna get their coochies rubbed” ?????Should I remind you, more than 90% of men are straight and we would rather rub a real women cookie than a fag @ss full of Shittt!!!!

    96. zoey says – reply to this


      96

      I predict when Perez finally gets it , learns his lessons and grows up , he will attract a beautiful man and a beautiful relationship

      Until then …………more of the same



    97. 97

      wow not gonna lie i love the song its funny and great



    98. 98

      i think i just peed a little…seriously perez so funny. we have the same humor. keep making songs! this made my day. i sent it to my mom. deep down she will think its funny. you need to put something in your posts so that you can directly put it on facebook. i want all my friends to see it :)

      PLEASEEE WRITE MORE



    99. 99

      That was really funny. I love how you keep pissing off the stupid haters in this site that for one reason or another, keep coming for more.



    100. 100

      Every one knows gay men are pedophiles!!! And Gayrez! you are a living proof!!! By posting that nasty crap for kids and by constantly lusting after underage boys like the Jonas brothers, you proved it right!

    More comments: [1] 2 3 »