Time for a Red Carpet Suicide!
Jessica Simpson better hurry up and get pregnant or drive drunk or flash her vajayjay or at least go get lunch at The Ivy, because according to a scalding review of her concert in Canada on Thursday night, her "music career" is about as bright as Audrina Patridge.
Performing songs off her HOrrific new country album, Do You Know, to an audience who mostly earned their tickets through more than a few rounds of Black Jack, she paced the stage at the Colosseum at Caesars Windsor, delivering little stage presence and tedious commentary.
With her songs mostly unremarkable, she sang in "a voice that only occasionally found the right note" and even offered a cheesy plug when she advised women to run from an abusive relationship "in a pair of Jessica Simpson boots."
She's got a long way to go before she's any country star because even in her home state of Texas she's known as "Yoko Romo."
[Image via WENN.]