When she says "No" it really means "Shoot yourself"

Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & True

Sure it's a bummer to spend all night at a bar, get drunk and horny, and then come home to have your girlfriend thwart your advances…but it's no reason to shoot yourself in the arm!

Damn, motherfucker - just jerk off!

A Fort Meyers man was so upset when his girlfriend gave him the classic "I'm too tired" line that he shot himself. When his girlfriend wasn't impressed with his suave come-on, he proceeded to threaten her.

Ladies love that!

Determined to completely abandon his dignity, he then stumbled into the kitchen, where the oven jumped in front of him, causing him to trip and fall.

We'll bet he was really happy to wake up in jail with no recollection of how he obtained that bloody hole in his arm, not to mention the hangover from hell.

He was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He's being held on $100,000 bail.

Too bad he can't be charged with being a complete moron.

[Image via WENN.]

Posted: Oct 2, 2008 at 7:30 pm / Email this »

See All 24 Comments

24 comments to “When she says "No" it really means "Shoot yourself"”

harrybalsac says – reply to this

1

Oh he got fucked!
justAglitch_471 says – reply to this

2

crayzee
milystarr says – reply to this

3

hey perez guess what i think I found ur twin!!! his name is stewart. look for him on blahgirls.com ITS SOOOO FUNNYYYY!!!
MOLLAYYY says – reply to this

4

Perez your sister is so much funnier than you are!
milystarr says – reply to this

5

hey hookers!!! lol

GO TO : WWW.BLAHGIRLS.COM NOWWWW!!!
916Girl says – reply to this

6

What a loser!!!
sephd19 says – reply to this

7

What a LOSER! He got what he deserved.
Disturbed says – reply to this

8

OMG - WHO CARES?
QueenEricka says – reply to this

9

First, it's Fort MYERS. This is my hometown. But I DO NOT claim this idiot. Gotta love it when some ass puts your hometown on the map for something this retarded. Gee thanks man!
KayJ says – reply to this

10

he was trying to shoot something else off, couldn't take the blue balls, go whack off to miley..duhhhhh
pastafarian says – reply to this

11

"Damn, motherfucker - just jerk off!"

Too fucking funny!!!!
sweetpiece says – reply to this

12

More gossip about Melissa's date tonight?! Don't wipe that dirty face on the white furniture babe. That would piss anybody off!
wanna milk me?? says – reply to this

13

ick.
that was me
last night
i was praying it wouldn't make
the big news papers….LIKE
PEREZ
HILTON
.COM
fuck
i am in this cow suit for
ever and ever, no?
wanna milk me?? says – reply to this

14

i am going to bed
Melodie says – reply to this

15

There's only one "e" in "Fort Myers."
musiq7 says – reply to this

16

wow its crazy but hey have u heard the new album from beto cueveas its called Miedo Escénico dont miss it its amazing it will make you feel like singing along so dont miss out you'll love it
CTGreat says – reply to this

17

I feel bad for the woman to had to witness this. I witnessed the same thing, and she is better without him. What a fuck up.
xallybabiee says – reply to this

18

haha shooting himself in the arm and not getting any should be bad punishment enough. charges are getting stupider and stupider
Jess<3 says – reply to this

19

I love you Perez. That was really funny.
Hate Low Class People says – reply to this

20

Another low class black messing around with guns! Oh wait! That's nothing new!
Hmmmm says – reply to this

21

If being a complete moron were a crime, we would have nothing but prisons in this country…
miss*bizzy says – reply to this

22

LMAO that is way too friggin hillarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SmellyVirus/MileyCyrus says – reply to this

23

This post is not "Perez" at all. You can SOOOO tell someone else wrote it. Perez, stop slacking off!
Anonymous says – reply to this

24

Was this story REALLY worth posting, Perez?? Considering that I am the 24th respondent…I think not.