A Few Words From Clay Aiken
Filed under: Gay Gay Gay > Clay Aiken > When Celebrities Blog
The Gayken still has a lot to say!
The newly out gay man just posted the following on his official fansite:
"Killing the elephants in the room.
10/03/08
What a week or so this has been. In fact, it's just been two weeks since I started back to the Spam. Jerome and I were just talking the other day, though, about how the past two weeks have felt like a month. So much routine to get back into and yet so much routine and consistency to break. No doubt, many of you have been going through quite a bit over the past week or so yourselves. What a bunch of headline news we have had in the past 10 days! Wall Street falling to it's knees. Congress propping it back up. Two debates. Hijackers in Somalia. New leaders in South Africa and Japan. You'd think with all of the important events going on in the world, there would be plenty to fill up the pages of America's newspapers, websites and blogs without the need for information on the private lives of the country's singers and entertainers. But, alas, thats never the case. In fact for the last five years, I've found what seems to have been an inordinate amount of interest (not from the public, but from the media) in my own personal life. The questions never seemed to stop. Oh sure, they die down for a period, but they resurface. The wind blows another direction, and I do yet another interview worried that my personal life will become a topic of discussion. No doubt the birth of Parker would bring the same scrutiny, just heightened. It's an interesting time we live in. Gone are the days when entertainers could go about their lives without the invasion of privacy that we now see everyday in the form of paparazzi and internet tabloid bloggers. So, in the hopes of being able to sing and act (and dance poorly) and do what I love to do for a living while raising my son in a hopefully more private and accepting environment, I chose to go ahead and confront things head on. Yes, I would have preferred to separate my personal life from my professional life. I would have been just as happy to go on without discussing my orientation. But, it seems like that was not an option. Make no mistake, its not because I am ashamed. No, not for a minute. I haven't always been as comfortable as I am now, but I am without a doubt, proud of who I am and make no apologies for it. Instead, I would have been happy to have kept my personal life private for that very reason. Because it's personal life and I have always considered myself a private person. But, living as myself without discussing my sexuality publicly would have been as impossible. One chance to expose the truth would have been a payday for any greedy opportunist.
I went to American Idol, much like many of us did "back in the day". Naive. Unlike the contestants who join up today, we had no idea of the power and pull of Idol when we signed on. (I'm sure many of us season two folks like to think we are the reason the show got so big!!! 
) There I was two months off of the biggest show in the country, sitting at a table with a reporter from Rolling Stone who was asking me every single question I would never think of. Twenty-four years old in the rest of America is a LOT younger and more naive than twenty four years old in the media business. So when this guy started asking me about things that I didn't really know how to answer for myself… things that I was not yet ready to admit to folks like my mother and my family…. things that I found intimidating and invasive, I responded in what I assumed was a benign way at the time. I attempted to "out spin" a professional. I wasn't as good as I thought I was. But, I have no regrets. The truth is, I don't apologize for the responses I gave to that reporter or any reporter over the past five years. I did make every attempt I could after that one interview to never say "I am not gay" or "I am straight". And I never said either. (some interpreted my vague answers to mean that… but I never said either) Some will say thats misleading. In truth, it might be defined that way. But, a better definition and a more accurate way to describe it for me, is a redirection and an attempt to change the topic to something that matters more. For some of you it won't be enough, but I can't apologize for keeping my personal business to myself. If someone feels that they were mislead, I can totally understand that viewpoint and apologize for that feeling, but I can't apologize for how I handled questions that affected me and my right to privacy.
In my opinion, sexual orientation is ALWAYS a private thing. I think the OVERWHELMING majority of people agree with that. Why in the world should someone's sexual orientation be a news item? Why should anyone care? Yet, for all we espouse as a society about tolerance and open mindedness we forget to allow folks the opportunity to be who they are without judgement. Making a decision to come out to family is a difficult and heavy decision. But, for every young man or woman who is struggling with it, it should be a decision that is made on his or her own schedule ONLY. It's never acceptable for anyone to make such a decision for anyone else nor to coerce someone to take such a significant step before they are ready. Not a friend, not a stranger, not the media. So, I waited until the time was right for me. For that I can't apologize either.
There are plenty of you who have anticipated this blog in hopes that I would "set the record straight" or "admit to lying for five years and apologize for it". For that small group of people, I am afraid I will have to disappoint you. My decisions over the past five years have been made with lots of deliberation and at times even heartache. Always with concern for folks who might feel mislead. Don't doubt that. But they have also been made as an attempt, not to hide my true self, but instead to allow myself the same liberties and rights that every single gay man and woman in the world should have… the right to determine for myself when I was ready to discuss my personal life. In as much as that, at times, was interpreted as misrepresentation, I feel badly. But I reserved that right for myself and I can't say I regret it.
I have endeavored over the past several days to allow folks to vent and express themselves as freely as possible without restriction on these message boards. There is no way to change a person's mind when you tell them they are wrong. We all, when backed into a corner, have a human instinct to swing. Having different feelings and opinions and viewpoints are only natural. The only way to deal with that is to accept everyone's right to disagree, and allow them to discuss their feelings. I always have, and I always will. That said, it hasn't been, nor do I imagine it will be, my intent to make the message boards or the OFC a clearinghouse or discussion zone for sexuality or such topics. I hope we can always continue to discuss the same things we have always found important. The need for inclusion for children with disabilities. The desire to make sure every child in the world has access to their basic needs for survival. And any other topics that will make our neighborhoods, our regions, our country and our world a better more acceptable place (where that relates to issues involving sexuality, I hope we are able to advocate, at those times for the acceptance of others)… and I hope we will all still use the message boards for the lively discussion of the need for better entertainment and music in the world!!!! That said, as of this posting, I have asked the moderators to archive the thread regarding the People magazine article and close it from discussion. For those of you who are still struggling, I encourage you to continue to talk to your friends and neighbors and fellow OFC members in the thread devoted to such support. It is not going to be as easy as accepting something over night, but I believe that we are on the right track. The moderators will resume their regular duties of moderating the boards in the fashion that they did prior to last week, and I (and hopefully all of us) will resume our routines in the same fashion as well. Talking about music, talking about potential tours and other performances and appearances, talking about me forgetting my lines of tripping on stage in Spamalot, and discussing with our friends how many times we have seen the show and will see it! (And… looking forward to the announcement of out Playbill contest winner!!!)
Finally, I will say that, also representative of most every other gay man and woman in the world, that I am not defined by my sexuality. No more so than each of you are defined by your sexual orientation. No more than a man or woman is defined by race or ethnicity. It is, simply, a small facet of the same person I have always been. Most of you realize that nothing has changed. I hope to continue being able to entertain you in the same way I have for the past five years. And I hope you will allow me to continue to inform you of the causes that I find important and entertain you with the music and performances I love. For I love and cherish you all. Yesterday, now and forever.
c"
[Image via WENN.]
first bitches!
wow extremely A LOT TO SAY!! i won't read that much
Firsssssssssssssssst?
first bitches!!!
some one put a cock in his nouth ( or hand) to shut him the fuck up!
he sounds like sarah palin, like he's dodging questions that are asked of him….
first?!?
I think i chatted with him once in a gay chat room.
Total sweetheart.
and he loves my band:
big beat battalion!
hugs Perez!
G
We all knew Clay Aiken was a flamer,but it's nice to see that he finally feels comfortable enough to talk about his sexuality.
I remember a few yrs ago,some dude from a gay escort service claimed he fucked Clay Aiken,and I was totally thinking it was true.
So,I'm wondering if Clay Aiken is a top or a bottom??
I dont care….. I like to leave comments tho.
i want beer
Perez, you should make it a better world for gays. Celeb. gays should want to be out and proud and maybe more would if you didn't put things like "I heart cock" across their pics.
I was never a fan of his, but he is 110% right. Being gay or straight is such a small part of who you are. Would you really call him "Gayken" to his face, Mario?
Were not in highschool anymore. Tolerance is the answer.
So perez, stop making fun of gay people, lesbians, or even young transexuals. YOU are the reason young kids get SHOT AND KILLED for their sexuality.
THINK ABOUT IT!
taddy not true
that encourages people to come out
because aiken isn't out.
he just loves taunting closet freaks
For I love and cherish you all. Yesterday, now and forever. Now fuck off and leave me, my turkey based partner and my bastard baby alone.
c"
YAWNNNNN Shut the fuck up
u can't b serious……….why so wordy?
Re: paulina=dan radcliffe fan #1 –
There were lots and lots of long, difficult words for you to understand. I bet when you got to 'coerce' , 'espouse' and 'benign' you gave up. Don't worry, dear, Daniel Radcliffe won't say any of those words…..
I think that was very well said…I don't listen to his music but I've got a little more respect for him now after all that
Jesus. Who cares about this pathetic nobody?
I would of read at least more than two lines of that if it was someone else writing that. I can't really find clay interesting……..
good gawd Clay, STFU
Clay is a great performer. I am so glad he is so comfortable being himself now. I bet his performances will get even better now. He is still my favorite American Idol, even though he didn't win the actual title. I want him to get thin and have his hair spiky again…he was hot when AI took charge of his image.
Congratulations to Clay on becoming a dad to a beautiful baby boy!!! Parker is just adorable.
Shit, dude can write.
I agree with him though. Maybe one day it'll get to that point where gays won't even have to "come out" because it'll be such a normal thing to be homosexual. One day…
wow. i've never been a clay fan but that was very well said! good going, clay! i get it now and i respect you!
you fucking fucktard
.
.
.
why would you post so much vomit?
who in the FUCK can read through
that?????
and don't steal fucktard.
got it??
omg….is it just me or does clay aiken's face look EXACTLY like lindsay lohan in this pic
Clay: I'm sure whatever you had to say was nice, but I'll never know because I couldn't get through that mess! Before you try that again, learn where to start and stop paragraphs!!
WOW if you put a long haired wig on him he would kinda look like Lindsay Lohan in this pic!
Also…Clay seems to be a very articulate and caring person. I wish him well in all his endeavors!
Um…No. He is a LIAR and needs to apologize for lying. He lied about his sexuality so he could make millions out of fear and mislead his fans, friends, and family. I'm sorry but there are out celebrities that don't have to LIE to be successful. Remember that video of him having online gay sex? Oh yeah, obviously it was real, and he tries to change his hair color, put on makeup, etc. to not get got. He is a perve with NO MORALS and that has nothing to do with his "sexuality."
Wow he got bored…. lol.
i only read one paragraph.
hes a nice guy people shouldn't be mean to him. (not that i know him personally but still)
he came out woohoo now leave him the fuck alone.
:]
He looks SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much like Lezo, you guys agree? Perez you need to do a separated at birth w/ these two!!!!!
Perez….I can not stand Clay but the things you write on people's pictures are so tacky!!
Plain and simple. Everyone knew. You should have just admitted it. And don't give me that we didnt know what idol would do. Shut the FUCK up. It was a show to become a FUCKING STAR HELLO. I am so sick and tired of celebrites going for fame and then just wanting the positives and think that the rules of karma do not apply to them. Your not gonna get money, love, adoration, without a price. Accept it and live w/ it. The rules of the universe are not going to change for you.
wow that was insanely long, didn't even finish it. btw, it's "misled" not "mislead." lol
Now he won't ever shut up about being gay. Geez, Clay — we really don't care.
And he looks like Lindsey Lohan with short hair in that photo.
clarification: it's "misled" when used in the past tense like Clay does a few times in his dissertation here. otherwise, "mislead" is correct. thankyouverymuch. lmaoooo
What. Are you. WEARING!? Someone pull his gay card away! This guy is too tragic to be gay. He might not be ashamed that he's gay but I'M ashamed he's gay!!!
he sang show tunes on AI.
nuff said.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS LINDSAY LOHAN! why do they look so similar? its eerie!
I totally agree with him. It's not about lying, it's about keeping your personal and private life, exactly that; personal and private. It's nobody else's business other than his own.
Oh ya, he DOESSSSS look like Lindsay Lohan! HAHAHA!
He doesn't owe anyone an explanation. So many singers are gay. There are singers in their 60s who still lie and say they were never gay when everyone knows they were and probably still are on the down low. Whatever. I like Clay. I have never heard of him being rude or judgmental toward anyone so whose business is it what he does in his personal life? People have a right to lie if someone is prying into what doesn't concern them. If it bothers you you're probably gay yourself.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……he definitely got the chick gene with explaining a story. JC this guy likes to hear himself talk…blablablabla……gggggget to the point junior…
he seems like a nice guy.
I bet Clay sucks a mean cock! He has a great singing voice so he can probably deep throat nicely!
he's kinda like obama…..trying to explain his past,but too long winded…..in the end people lose interest….blah blah blah.
WOW, PONLE UNA PELUCA Y ES IGUALITO A LINDSAY LOHAN jajaja..
Re: filmex1 – Filmex1—you are an idiot. "first"? dfaevader is just as stupid.
I have always thought Clay was talented and I never really thought about his sexual orientation. I knew people always made comments but I always thought…should it matter if he's gay or straight? Why should it matter? However, it does and I'm glad that he wrote this because I think it makes a lot of sense. Also, it makes me realize how truly truly intelligent that man is.
holy LOT of words!! i dont care about him enough to read that much. but thanks
sorry fugly clay, i'd ove to read all of what you have to say so i can make some smartass comment about it, but my attention span isn't that long….yawn
Re: Nonbreeder – fuck you bitch! i can't believe that you're taking this seriously! hahaha! FIRST BITCHES!
wow LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE LOHAN!
I always liked his voice but now I like him more. He's very intelligent and I respect him now.
Re: 29 –
I don't think he's fugly. He's too good looking if anything.
looks like he got in touch with linds hohan's make up artist. OUCH
.
.
"Thanks for all the money magazines payed me for the pictures of my baby and the exclusive of my homosexuality… for i will cheerish this moment frever in my memory as the money i received for being a c.lister, ans to help me thorugh the shit economy…
Now get the fuck out and leave me alone, yet keep talking about me.
C"
.
.
stay gay cocksucker. the cock might have loved you more if you didn't keep it a "secret" for so long.
i don't particularly like clay, but i admire him for posting this. he clearly had a difficult time coming to terms with the reality of his orientation and feeling comfortable expressing himself to friends and family. i respect him for speaking openly about it now and above that, having the understanding and tolerance and patience for the very close-minded people judging him not only for his sexuality, but also for his way of handling coming out. many, many other people have faced the same problem and now that he's talking about his experience hopefully he can spread the message that even though it can be difficult or confusing or scary, it's ok to take your time and do what's right for you in order to be true to yourself. i think this can speak to a lot of people…
He looks sooo much like Lindsay Lohan don't you think???? Perez you should totally do a seperated at birth with those two!!!
Are we sure he isn't a woman? because he looks a lot like one……
Well put Clay! And I totaly agree. I couldnt care less what sexual orientation people have. That is not what defines a person.
To all of you who say hes lying; You dont get it! Read it again! And get a life!
Perez- What the hell are you doing crucifying your own? Was there ever a time when "coming out" was difficult for you? I only wish there was ball-juggling bastard with a popular blog to make your journey an all-out-hell. Have some compassion… the guy actually sounds like a normal person. You know, THE KIND YOU GIVE KUDDO'S TO ON THIS SITE?! So shut the eff up, and practice some humanity for god's sake. Do unto others…. cause Karma is a bitch. (sorry for the cliche).
This Ginger MINGE should shut the fuck up! He gave my Italian Greyhound herpes and then I got it! What a freak !!
Has he had surgery to look like a woman?
I've never been a "Claymate" but reading this has made me a lot more interested in him. He writes so eloquently and I personally liked what he had to say, I think he made several good points and he sounds like a very nice guy. As far as his "coming out" is concerned, maybe he did deny it at first, but it's my understanding that he's very religious, and he has probably been taught all his life that being gay is a bad thing. It couldn't have been easy for him. I give him a lot of credit and respect for this.
okay.
enough now.
clay is gay.
we've always known.
we don't really care.
the people that seem to do, will always be uproariously up in arms about some other queer. so we don't really care about them either. how boring.
move on. it was, and is getting more boring.
I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY YOU POSTED THIS ONE…WHO TH HELL CRES BOUT WHAT HE HAS TO SAY NEVERMIND IN A 100 PAGE LONG POST… THAT WAS JUST A WASTE OF SPACE IN UR BLOG
weird, the way you post about this guys makes you seem a lot homophobic yet you are an openly gay and scandalous queer… mmm is this just a facade or do you have something against the other gays around?
Every hetero guy like me has gaydar and knew he was a flamer long ago, just like ricky martin and quite a few others. We do not know how we know? We just instantly and instinctively know. So no suprise.
That said…for him to blather on trying to be creative in saying he did not 'mislead' his fans (which were all hetero chicks or gay guys anyhow) he just gave answers that may have implied he was straight…blah…blah…blah.
Bottom line, you lied, you mislead your fans or you would have had no career, acceptable or not, the market does not support a gay guy. YOu and george will now be in the toilet for the rest of your music life, hope you put a load of $$$ away.
PS you lied, apologize, not to me, i knew you were taking it rearly, but to the chicks who said "he not gay..he just sensitive"….uh…?…..sure…yeah….
So many ignorant people on here. Perez, you're a pig for still persecuting Clay. He's a nice guy…give him a break.
Re: taddy09 – true dat. and unless I'm mistaken, doesn't ol' perezzie
luv cock, too? what a hypocrite.
[[[[[[[[[[ CLAY ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
[[[[[[[[ I WILL ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
[[[[[ ALWAYZ LUV U♥♥ ]]]]]]]]]]]
[[[ 4/BEING HONEZT ]]]]]]]]]]]
[[ NOTICE HOW WE TURNED]]]]]]
[[ ON TOMKITTY/ AND ]]]]]]]]
[[ KATIE=MONEYGRUBBER]]]]
[[4 THEIR LIEZ 2/UZ..WE]]]
[[ HATE THEM 4/LIFE ]]]]
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
O.J.Z GONNA GET LIFE
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
IN PRIZON..HAHAHAHAHHA
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I BET HIZ RELIGION IZ MUZLIM
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
HE LIKEZ TO ”'CHOP HEADZ OFF”'
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
SUFFER , U FUK…SUFFFFFFFFFFFFER…..
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
GOD IZ GREAT..GOD IZ GOOD..LET
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
UZ ALL THANK HIM FOR O.J.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
1000 words to explain why he didn't just say he was gay when first asked and move on to the next question..
"Naive" at 24? Good Lord! Only in the US..
This blog post makes him sound like a king sized wanker. Being gay seems like the only thing he has going for him, and that's not saying much.
Damn — I thought I could get through that - he had a lot to say, B-O-R-I-N-G!!!!
Re: Shark – Actually hetero guys usually dont have Gaydar.. LOL… Lying yourself maybe?
Like some of the others - not an Aiken fan, but I appreciate his opinion here. He's so right about it not being anyone's business, and how the celebs in days gone by could live their lives in a more private setting. Sure, people on the 'inside' knew Rock Hudson was gay, but the rest of us just continued to live the dream that he was this handsome beautiful man that we all wanted to rescue us and run away with until the end of his life when HE came out, not the papers outing him. There were just as many classic celebs that were gay as there are now, and I don't condone them having to 'hide' in any way, but their sexual business (other than whom they were dating/covering with) was not splattered all over the front of magazines.
I find it sad that Hollywood, which is supposed to basically a fantasy land for the 'every man' scrutinizes its stars to the point where when watching movies you're so distracted by what you know of their personal comings and going that you can't enjoy it as much as you should.
But then again, look at me. I eat up the gossip shit like it was Chubby Hubby laced with diamonds.
Doesn't Clay look just like a "male" version of Lindsay Lohan?!!
i'm not reading all that. he looks like lindsay lohan in this photo. *barf*
He looks a little like Lindsay Lohan in that pic.
Who wants to take the time to read all that???
He's awesome. I think he's a role model to gays. He shouldn't have to keep it a secret but he knows flaunting his sexuality should not have anything to do with his career. Good for him.
I agree, I also think all those slut in Hollywood like Paris Hilton should do the same thing, keep their frickin legs closed when they are getting pics taken and do their jobs without being slutty.
Could that be any longer, what is it with the gays guys…LOL Just kidding
That was really well written and thoughtful. I hate what most of your readers have to say, as usual.
Leave Clay Alone. He's a nice lady.
Re: dontsendit –
I agree with you
It looks like CLAY AKIEN
will not be allowed to sing this song
anymore…
.
I KISSED A GIRL
AND WENT TO
H E DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS!.
.
A church in Ohio
altered the words of the smash hit to
tell teens that same sex kissing would
land them in hell!
.
The new lyrics read:
“I kissed a girl and I liked it/
Then I went to hell.”
.
Reverend Dave Allinson of the Havens
Corner Church in Blacklick said the
message was a loving warning to teens”.
.
(It sounds like some people
will not be inviting Lindsay Lohan and
Samantha Ronson to services on Sunday!
At least Clay Aiken will be welcome.)
Honestly I didnt even care enough to read past the first sentence. I'm certainly not interested in the life of Clay Aiken, gay or not.
Awwww, come on now, Perez.
He has come out. PLEASE leave Clay a-lone.
STOP this petty revenge, against him. He's now one of you, and God bless him for doing the next to impossible.
is he wearing make.up?!
Blah Blah Blah! Who cares, fell asleep half way thru reading all that!
I probably wouldve read a lot more, but that fact that this ex teacher doesnt seem to know where the enter key is to break up his long paragraphs make it difficult to read. and this is an example. see how tough it is to follow the text with your red and tired eyes? too much studying? too much partying? whatever the cause, we all need a little break once in awhile dont we?? watch this, its magical. be prepared to be amazed.
I hit that return key and that darn thing inserts a couple spaces. told you it was magical.
Re: Almondjoy – ok well its html perhaps it should be written with an editor then.
Lets see if this is a (paragraph) paragraphs are nice too! Did it work?
after reading every word of that shit… all I have to say is … Clay Aiken You were a CHICKEN for not coming out sooner, had you come out sooner it wouldn't have been this big of a deal. The fact that you were "scared" only hypes it up more. You made this a big deal when it wasn't. NO BODY CARES THAT YOU ARE GAY BUT YOU!
Great job Clay! Very impressive writing. I'm happy you did this on your own terms. Congrats on becoming a father.
That's just way too many words for me to read on a screen, but II did hear from an elephant, and he said they are all working on
"ELEPHANTS HATE CLAY AIKEN" signs and t-shirts. He should really be more tolerant of the poor Room Elephants. It's not their fault!
:-D
Re: Billvie Bicks – Is it wrong that that made me laugh almost out loud? (I kept my mouth shut, so i got a few ab crunches in
)
And y'all are right - he does sort of look like Lindsay. Weird.
Good for him. I've never been a fan of his music, but I have a lot of respect for him now. And I agree that sexuality is not only private, but only one small facet of a person.
Re: Starequisite – OMG - you just made my day! I finally have a reason for being so frustratingly verbose! It's genetic!
Yay! I feel better now. I still wish i could tell a story with about a fifth of the words it usually takes me.
Whoa! He looks like Lindsay Lohan here lol.
good job Clay.