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Jessica Simpson's Movie Opens #1…in Russia!

| Filed under: Jessica SimpsonFilm Flickers

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Hey, remember how Jessica Simpson thought she was hot shit and divorced Nick Lachey, and she thought she was gonna be this movie star and stuff?

Yeah, that was funny!

So, she made this movie called Blonde Ambition, which went straight to DVD!

Then she made this other movie, Major Movie Star, about this down-and-out actress who enlists in the army. Remember that? We're sure they'd rather you don't, because while the film has yet to receive a U.S. opening date, though it's already opened…in Russia.

The film debuted on October 6th to a #1 spot.

It was also the only film playing there for the entire month of October.

Just kidding!

They must have quite a sense of humor in Russia.

The film is slated for a November release in Bulgaria.

It has yet to name any opening dates in a country where English is a primary language.

The dubbing must be hilarious!

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52 comments to “Jessica Simpson's Movie Opens #1…in Russia!”



  1. 1

    i never even heard of this movie!



  2. 2

    The Russians just need a new set of big jigglies to jerk off too…

    Over there they don't do implants like here in America!



  3. 3

    :::fart::::



  4. 4

    Fail.



  5. 5

    I FARTED!



  6. 6

    Boris loves him some Big Ol' Tittes!



  7. 7

    you're just jealous cause she wont take a picture with you and because she fucked john mayer and YOU DIDNT.
    ha
    ha
    ha



  8. 8

    HEY #1 IS #1.

    CONGRATS JESS!



  9. 9

    It doesn't get dubbed in countries like that… it gets subtitled in the country's main language. Moron.



  10. 10

    I just LOVE the poster. She's slutting it up, like she's posing for a mens mag, with a war zone behind her where soldiers are dying. Another dynamite decision by Jessica & her dad.



  11. 11

    Who ever airbrushed that picture needs to get their eyes tested. The end result is nothing like that ho Simpson.



  12. 12

    Re: hot bloody cum covered poo – Hey, last page, I only shoot people with my Love Gun!



  13. 13

    HANDS UP IF YOU THINK PEREZ IS A FUCKER!!!!!!!



  14. 14

    Man, we're all faceless…..



  15. 15

    Does Perez personally approve/disapprove the avatars?



  16. 16

    hmmm a soldier with her pants open and a bikini and its opening in russia and bulgaria…hmmmm sounds like a winner. why would russia want to see that other than to see her jugs. argh she is so dumb! tony dump her and that will be the end of jessica.



  17. 17

    She should have stuck with Nick!



  18. 18

    Re: LettyB
    Word to ya mutha…



  19. 19

    WTF!



  20. 20

    Re: TwoGoofballs – THAT WAS DEEP!



  21. 21

    Well, who's to say it isn't good? Looks awesome!

    Just kidding!



  22. 22

    Re: FuckinA my forehead is HUGE – YOUR SISTER OF ANOTHER MOTHER!



  23. 23

    This is a joke, right??



  24. 24

    Re: TwoGoofballs – When i changed mine, I had to upload twice to get it to stay..try that.

  25. MizzM says – reply to this


    25

    good for her! I like Jessica :)

  26. KayJ says – reply to this


    26

    she's an idiot..with saggy boobs..



  27. 27

    Ten years post-cold war, Russia still reveres all that's bleached-blond, stilletto'd, big-haired, and tacky. Simpson is their Sarah Palin.



  28. 28

    you know what would be really funny?? jesica and nick getting back together, i would laugh my brains… you know what would be even funnier?? they making an mtv´s newliweds comeback…. thoughts?



  29. 29

    Re: LettyB – WHOOAH!



  30. 30

    I CAN'T STAND HER… I LIVE IN DALLAS AND THIS SKANK IS ALWAYS TROTTING AROUND



  31. 31

    I'm Russian and it's a shame to find this out… So far Russians had quite a taste for good movies, you just have to see how incredibly well good European movies are doing in Russian theaters.

    Although I have to agree with your last line, the translations for foreign movies are often much better than the original. I know a Hungarian cartoon which was awesomely funny already, but its Russian dubbing was done by famous comedy stars and singers, giving some parody hints to things strictly Russian and became such a hit, Hungarian authors wouldn't even dream of.

    Hopefully this was a case of something like that… otherwise I am deeply ashamed!



  32. 32

    YEAH WHO ELSE DID JOHN DATE THAT YOU CAN TRASH TALK…..MMMMMM SEEMS TO BE A PATTERN HERE! OH AND WHAT HAS HER DIVORCE GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING.???YOUR AN IDIOT PEREZ AND SO OBVIOUS.



  33. 33

    Boy does she look stupid in that poster.



  34. 34

    Jessica Simpson:"I can only count to two since by boobs are bigger than my brain…."



  35. 35

    YALL ARE A BUNCH OF HATERS….FIRST IF YOU DONT LIKE PEREZ GET OFF HIS SITE…AND IF ITS # 1 ITS #1 STOP HATING



  36. 36

    Re: MOLLAYYY – Um… No, actually it does not get subtitled… It a complete voice over….!



  37. 37

    Re: Podruzhka – Who in the world would pay to have such a low-budget film get dubbed?



  38. 38

    One boob looks bigger and saggier than the other!

  39. JZ says – reply to this


    39

    Wasn't this movie filmed 3 years ago?

  40. Yulia says – reply to this


    40

    Re: MOLLAYYY

    i don't know who pays for it but it does get dubbed.



  41. 41

    I usually would have trouble believing this, but since they banned South Park, I think I can understand to a certain level now…



  42. 42

    Poor thing… I am seriously cracking up right now!!!… this post is going to make me wiiiwiii in my panties!!!!… OMG poor Jess… I like i really do and I think that she sings/screams really good… but she should keep extending her brands cuz I think that her movie/music career is gone baby goneeeee!!!! I would pay to see her dubbed in Russian… OMGGGG



  43. 43

    She is such a loser!



  44. 44

    Ew..YOU ARE SUCH A HATER P!!!! Leave her alone. You only post bad things about her even when there is good to be said. I'm not a crazy Simpson fan, but you are a dick, that's for sure. Love you asshole! :)



  45. 45

    Re: MOLLAYYY – countries like that? geez. it does get dubbed.



  46. 46

    It isn't a Fool's Day :-)
    I checked Russian box office for the whole October - there's no such a movie as Major Movie Star in the whole Top 50.
    And the box office leader for the week ending October 12 is local blockbuster Admiral with weekend gross of 11 million dollars. Jessica can only dream on of this figure and not for the weekend but for the whole run including DVD sales
    LOL

  47. D-Bag says – reply to this


    47

    "A Public Affair"- BOMB, "Blonde Ambition"- BOMB, "Come on Over"- BOMB, "Major Movie Star"- BOMB. When with this stupid cunt realize that no one likes her and her career is officially dead? The Simpsons and the Lohans need to get a fucking grip on reality!



  48. 48

    This reeks strongly of Joe Simpson's dirty underhanded marketing ploys. Go away Joe and take this self proclaimed fart-bag with you!!!



  49. 49

    it sounds funny love jess



  50. 50

    Re: jcatch – This is more beleivable… Thanks for checking in… Perez a f… liar.. )))
    I was wondering…



  51. 51

    the shizz that romo confides in us bout her.
    pure dee skank.

  52. naddy says – reply to this


    52

    Re: jcatch – Thank you thank you!!! No Jessica thanks!!!
    Russia has many problems but Jessica Simpson movie is too much!!! Really Perez!!! Check before you write your shit!!!