Tom Cruise Attempts Funny, Fails Miserably
Filed under: Tom Cruise > David LettermanSuri's father was on The Late Show with David Letterman on Tuesday night.
The Queen of Scientology wanted to do the night's Top 10 list.
He did.
It sucked!
CLICK HERE to check out the "Top Ten Craziest Things People Say About Tom Cruise on the Internet".
Posted: December 17, 2008 at 12:22 am
Tom Cruise is still the bomb…Fuck the haters.
I thought it was funny! Perez, you are lame.
I actually thought it was pretty good, for Tom Cruise. He's not really that bad anymore.
he tries sooo hard…..
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he has done quite a few GREAT movies……
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and actually….i kinda wanna see the new one….whatever its called….
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he does nothing for me physically….like ive said before…im not really into midgets…..but he is a good actor..
no it was adorable, it didnt suck at all, you are just an asshole
now that was funny. i love suri !!!!! lol
Notice Tom's fake laugh?
He's had some work done. And he lost a lot of weight. I think he's trying too hard because he pays too much attention to the haters. Like most actors, he craves approval and when he thinks there's a lot of negativity out here towards him, he tries too hard to get people to like him. Look. He's wired, OK. He's manic. But he's made some great movies. A lot of them. So unless you have to live with him, what do you care? All the people who worked with him say he's a good guy. I never heard anyone speak against him except for the internet haters.
tom just come out of the CLOSET! it's time! we all KNOW! DUH> do it for your family!
You're just being an asshole, it didn't suck, I laughed.. and I'm smart!
what the hell? Did Xenu take her personality? He is robotic!
Perez Hates Me ^^
Re: lemonbird – yeah he does look skinny and a bit odd in the face. I kinda feel sorry for him..
can he really not read?
yeah. that was actually funny.
NO FAIL.
I thought it was funny!
thats actually pretty funny
Wow, you really hate this guy, huh? Me too.
My dick hole is more of an intellect next to Mr. Holmes.
HE ACTS WAAAAY MORE NORMAL THE KATE HOLMES
KATE HOLMES ACTS LIKE SHE SCRIPTS EVERYTHING DOWN BEFORE SHE SAYS IT THEN LOOKS LIKE A ZOMBIE SAYING IT ;/
i hate him but that wasnt bad, it was actually funny..most of them suck
call my vagina!
Perez, shut up!
That was pretty funny, it made me laugh. You on the other hand, fail miserably at being funny but succeed at being an asshole
Yup, Perez, I kinda…used ta…love ya…! But…Tom Cruise (Scientology aside) is kinda getting to be a living legend. You're a fat, ugly, annoyingly voiced fag (I can say that, ’cause I am one
that seems bitter and just projects the self hatred onto celebrities and then holds parties (with lame celbs) to feel better about talking shit about them. Wake up…
PATHETIC LOSER FREAK CREEPMEISTER !!!
I actually found it funny. get a sense of humor.
It could have been good if he could read. He didn't even know what Heimlich was!
Re: lemonbird – Totally agree. The guy has made it! The internet…sucks in many ways.
Come on, Perezito, it was funny. Cut him some slack. The Vicks Vaporub = classic!
he was funny….very.. I LOVE DAVE
there was only one time i have to agree that he (tom) was faking the laugh, but it was cute.
Re: DonInMI – He's dyslexic assfuck…
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This was actually funny.
Although of course "the 10 funniest things" was written by David Letterman's show writers, and Tom simply read it.
Too bad the couch jumping episode, the Scientology business and very aggressive proselytism will forever be a part of Tom's life.
What a MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not funny……………..lame as hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is always something very artificial—something unsettling about the fake persona of Tom Cruise. Like he's "on" instead of being himself.
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He is such a douche… his career is over, he is so lame… why didn't the list mention all the Xenu things? the pregnancy? etc etc etc….
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I didn't think that was very funny at all. I'm surprised so many people thought it was.
Re: colormeandrew – What more can you expect of someone who resents those he spends his every waking hour talking about?
The ones that I find funniest are the posts he makes of himself, as if anyone really cared. I'm sorry Mario but it's the truth, people come here to read about the sad life of celebrities.
I have to check that blog out, this one's loosing its touch.
David acts like he's pretty annoyed or over it, one of the two. I agree with whoever said Tom is trying too hard. He's everywhere, and frankly I'm kinda tired of seeing him. He must have issues with not being liked or something. Um, how about trying to be a lot more low-key and quit pimping your family out? Instead of, PLEASE LOVE ME, YOU MUST LOVE ME!
um all he did was read off a card.. how exactly did he suck at that again??… you're the one who sucks. get a life.
lol your post got deleted colormeandrew!
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THE QUEEN OF SCIENTOLOGY!!!
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KISSES PEREZ, THAT WAS SIMPLY DIVINE!!!
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I thought it was pretty humorous.
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A "POWERMAD EGOMANIAC" SHOULD BE CHANGED TO A "POWERBOTTOM COCKWHORE!!!"
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wtf man, tom cruise is pretty much the coolest looking actor alive. he's doesn't need to be funny look at him.
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THE QUEEN DRESSES LIKE A 9 YEAR OLD BOY AT A WEDDING!!!
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i trutly didn't like it at all….he didn't give it with enough sarcasm or something… and like he is trying way to hard to get back the fans… it was lame for me…
Tom sucks so bad, he need whatever he can get for attention, he knows he is a had been so what else can he do:)
Damn I spelled that horribly wrong, he NEEDS whatever he can get for attention, he knows he is a HAS been
Re: Matt73 –
If he's dyslexic, he should know better than to try to read something on TV. It just made him appear stupid.
#4 is actually funny. lol
Perez, will you cut this guy some slack?
41 LG, haven't seen it yet but that picture says it all! I do love Dave you know! You can take the girl out of NY but you can't take the NY out of the girl!
He was a good sport to read that, but oh my! Tom is losing hair! Lots of it!
And seriously folks, way worse and funnier stuff has been written right here on Perez's log. LG is responsible for the best of it! LG's top ten! Yeah!
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I didn't laugh once. Nada!
I thought it was funny! Perez, you need to work on your sense of humor a little bit
I thought it was pretty good.
I thought it was funny.
I'm going to have to go ahead and say that sh*t was funny!
tom cruise is still the man..yea, the guy loves his family, its sad that in 2008 things like that, you know, normalcy, freaks people out. and on tonights show he was perfectly fine so I have no clue what the hell you are talking about. Give it up, the tom cruise hating never made sense before and it sure as hell doesn't right now.
Re: ShakeYourkitty – Re: ShakeYourkitty – hes short?
I cant stand Tom And I thought it was funny. Peerez is just being his usual fat looser self
he can't read heimliched?
Re: Sweetpiece says Deck the Halls! – 53.
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SWEET, YOU ARE TOO KIND!!! LG CAN NEVER COMPARE TO YOUR "SHE'S COOKED, BOILED, AND SERVED!" LINE REFERRING TO THE SHEBITCH'S (ANOTHER SWEET-ISM) TANKED POLITICAL ASPIRATIONS!!!
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TRUE, LG DOES HAVE THE "COKE CAN THICK STRAP-ON" LINE…
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NEITHER OF US ARE "THE BEST" I SUPPOSE–AS EACH POSSE MEMBER
FLAVORS THE DISH WITH HIS OR HER OWN PARTICULAR SPICE!!!
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I REALLY dislike Tom Cruise. Like, seriously, seriously dislike. I think he should be removed from his wife and daughter.
However, there was nothing wrong with his reading of this list. He didn't write it. It was kind of cute.
I thought it was funny… I laughed!
That was so lame. And Letterman did NOT look happy. Fuck Tom Cruise!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
why the fuck do u hate tom cruise?????????????/
that was HELLA FUCKING FUNNY.
i was hella expecting the worst. YOU ARE A FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN DOUCHE BAG.
CALM THE FUCK DOWN.
GET OVER UR FAT ASS.
omg i laughed so much!!
call my asss
hahahah that was soo funny!
I thought it was funny and he didn't freak out about the rediculous rumors at all he just laughed about it.
I love you PH but Tommy C did alright. Why the hate?
he wasn't bad! NO FAIL!!!
Aw, give the little guy a break! Besides, that was clearly written FOR him not BY him. He didn't know what one of the words was. Poor dyslexic Scientolomidget.
wow perez you judge on the littlest things lol it was pretty damn funny you're just a hater
You know that Tom is like completly dislexic and was functionally illetrate for most of his life. People should be congratulating him for reading a top ten list, and let go of his image.
Mohit_ looks an awful lot like Andy27…..only an Indian version!
I actually thought it was pretty funny…
Just cause he crazy dont mean you gotta bring the hate.
"Did Hollywood play a role in inspiring you to get healthier and lose weight?
I was inspired to get healthier and lose weight cause i wanted to get laid. This is an LA Magazine; so what's up LA boys? Step up to the plate. I am ready to get laid or date or whatever"
Piggy Hilton pimping out his shitty book, he forgot to say that he is also as desperate as Kate Hudson.
You can check on the advocate web page to leave a comment on Piggy's letter to PRES OBAMA.
"Did Hollywood play a role in inspiring you to get healthier and lose weight?
I was inspired to get healthier and lose weight cause i wanted to get laid. This is an LA Magazine; so what's up LA boys? Step up to the plate. I am ready to get laid or date or whatever"
Piggy Hilton pimping out his shitty book, he forgot to say that he is also as desperate as Kate Hudson.
Check the advocate web page to leave a comment on Piggy's letter to Mr. President
perez, stop being such a hater. I don't see you write anything bad about Angelina Jolie despite the fact that she's a manipulative selfish crazy whore.
what's so bad about that?? i like him!
people, cut him some slack, he's dyslexic. for real. i'd trip on a word like "heimlich" too if i had dyslexia.
What a freaking maroon!
HE DID FINE !
I THINK YOUR SHOW, WHAT PEREZ SAYS, SUCKS BIG TIME !
YOUR ONLY FUN TO READ, BUT YOUR ASS BORING ON CAMERA SO, SHUT UP PEREZ
You dumbshit, he read what David Letterman's writers wrote for him right off the same old blue cards that Dave uses. Get over yourself you miserable, jealous, BIG FAT Piece of Shit!!! I hope Santa leaves you exactly what you deserve for Christmas, a lump of coal and a doggie treat for Teddy, he can't help the fact that you picked him, poor dog…
Where's BBD?
He's awful and thinks way too much of himself… I thought Letterman let him off lightly with that Top Ten!
HONESTLY, that was pretty funny. Seriously. It showed Tom at least has a sense of humour about himself. The fact that you though that sucked, Perez, shows why you're not on television or in movies. She have shitty taste in what's funny. That segment WAS funny… ya douche.
i love the south park episode "im in the cllllossett"
Re: magentapyramid – i love how you used maroon, reminds me of Roger Rabbit :]
I actually thought it was pretty good. For Tom Cruise.
This actually made me see him in a different light. I kinda like him now.
Don't blame Tom - he was a sport. It was the writers who let him down.
Hahaha! That was funny! Gotta love Tom =)
I DON'T CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT TOM….HE'S GETTING WAY BETTER LOOKING AS HE AGES. HE'S A HANDSOME MAN! I WOULD STILL FUCK THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HIM!
HE COULDN'T PRONOUNCE KAHOLA BEAR! TEE HEE!1
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THAT'S ALL RIGHT TOMMY C!!!! WHEN YOU'RE IN MY BOUDIOUR YOUR INTELLECTUALISM IS NOT WHAT I'M INTERESTED IN. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS….YOUR FACE IS STRONGER AND YOUR JAW LINE MORE DEFINED…YOU'RE AGING VERY WELL. REMINDS ME OF ME. I'M IN MY LATE THIRTIES AND MY FACE LOOKS EVEN BETTER….WHICH IS WHY I DECIDED TO ABANDON THE VICIOUS GAY BARS DOWNTOWN….IMAGINE IF SOMEONE THREW BATTERY ACID ON JJ'S FACE!!!!
MY ONLY PROBLEM WITH YOU IS YOUR SCIENTOLOGY….IT'S A FUCKING CULT! WHICH TELLS ME YOU HAVE A WEAK MIND AND HAVE TO BE TOLD WHAT TO THINK. THAT WOULD WORK FOR YOU AND ME ONE ON ONE….BUT DAMN TOM…IT MUST BE A BITCH TO BE A MOVIE STAR….WHICH, OF COURSE, YOU CAN'T COME OUT AND BE YOURSELF!! MY HOUSE IS A FRACTION THE SIZE OF YOUR PALACE BUT I'D RATHER LIVE IN SUBURBIA THAN PRISON.
I thought it was hilarious. He does try a bit too hard to get people to like him, and it is noticeable. But everyone does that once in a while, so lets give the guy a break.
Re: I Get No Respect! – Too bad he don't admit it, coz then and only fukin then we might like him. Fukin liar bitch, fakeass, daughter pimper. What you going to do when Katie's 10 years are up and you want another kid to pimp out? I guess you'll use your clone to fake another marriage and another kid or use some other guy to donate the sperm like for Suri. We know she's not yours and you and KATIE LOOK LIKE THE MOST STUPID PEOPLE IN THE WORLD…liarrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Well thanks Mario (or sis, mum, whoever) for deleting colormeandrew's comment. I searched for him and got the name of that awesome other blog. No worries, I won't threaten and write the name here!
It's kinda funny though, for a posse, they sure turn on you quite alot.
Re: jimmyjazz – I like what you said, jimmyjazz. Ain't no fukin alien church monger is ever going to tell me how to live or what to say. I hope you know that he buttfuks him too, coz Republicunt preachers secretly buttfuk any guy they can get, even paid prostitutes..so Tomkitten is lower than low..to have to do that idiot leader of his.heheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuwwwww
# 1 butt fucker in the world and lies. haha
Well, there's one career he will have when the people that back his movies realized he's not making them money anymore.
PORN , he likes to buttfuck, so porn is perfect for him.
Tom Cruise, you have been selected to be the first to enter Hell. You are no an upstanding person. You are a liar and a cheat. That Oprah woman is also going to Hell for trying to sell you to the world. I hope you like heat and anal sex.