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Former French President Jacques Chirac Hospitalized After Dog Mauling

| Filed under: Super SeniorsWacky, Tacky & TruePolitikSad SadFrancophilia

chirac.jpg

Woof! That must have hurt!

According to new reports, 76-year old former French president, Jacques Chirac, was hospitalized after he was mauled by his 'clinically depressed', little, white Maltese pooch, Sumo.

Yes, Sumo as in the Japanese sport. The ex-pres was apparently fascinated by sumo wrestling!

The elder statesman is expected to make a full recovery.

Can we just pause for a minute, though.

How the fuck is a dog "clinically depressed"?????? And how do you treat that????

The former president's wife, Bernadette, told the media, "The dog went for him for no apparent reason. We were already aware the animal was unpredictable and is actually being treated with pills for depression. My husband was bitten quite badly, but he is certain to make a full recovery over the coming weeks."

Mrs. Chirac did not reveal where on his body the former pres was attacked.

Sumo was given to Chirac as a gift from his gandson.

What's going to happen to Sumo?

Eternal sleep????

[Image via WENN.]

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46 comments to “Former French President Jacques Chirac Hospitalized After Dog Mauling”



  1. 1

    First, bitches….and yes, how can a dog be depressed? Ce n'est pas vrai.



  2. 2

    buh bye pshyco puppy.



  3. 3

    maybe the dog needs to get laid



  4. 4

    Some dogs just don't like to be fucked up the ass, eh Perez?



  5. 5

    lol only rich yuppies would think of calling a dog "depressed" The dog was probably poorly trained b/c stupid people forget dogs are animals.



  6. 6

    first!!
    muthafuckas!!



  7. 7

    Fucking dogs….. Bark bark.. Bark.. Sike I love dogs… Especially the American StaffordShire Terrier…



  8. 8

    Perez can you post about women who crave attention while pregnant because their partner finds them disgusting? Thanks
    ***hug***



  9. 9

    PLEASE



  10. 10

    Re: zarrafakt Hates Perez – Lmao poor teddy, He's in our prayers…



  11. 11


  12. 12

    Re: mamajud – lol



  13. 13

    How the fuck is a dog "clinically depressed"?????? And how do you treat that????

    KICK IT IN THE ASS AND TELL IT TO SHIT IN THE YARD! IT'S A FUCKING DOG DUMBASS!



  14. 14

    CHAT



  15. 15

    ΓΑΤΑ



  16. 16



  17. 17

    버들강아지



  18. 18

    BICHANO



  19. 19

    GATITO



  20. 20



  21. 21

    CHAT , ΓΑΤΑ , 猫 , 버들강아지 , BICHANO , GATITO



  22. 22

    Re: harrybalsac – Lmao



  23. 23

    Re: britbrit – NOT!



  24. 24

    Re: mamajud – is a woosiebag the same thing as Orchidgirl?



  25. 25

    Bring on the Whisperer!

  26. Ouisa says – reply to this


    26

    Perhaps the dog thought that mole between the dudes eyes was one of it's crazy pills and needed a fix.



  27. 27

    Re: LaDiva is sizzling…. – 21 another wonderful comment! keep them coming! haha



  28. 28

    DAMN! My dog bit me on Friday but not because of this bullshit, his foot was stuck in the door and he was trying telling me it hurt…CLINICALLY DEPRESSED!! BULLLLSHIT! The dog was trying to tell you something, not oh I want to slit my wrists.. GEEZ!!



  29. 29

    OUCH!



  30. 30

    Don't most Malteses weigh, like, 7 lbs. Not like being attacked by a rottie but still, probably quite a shock.



  31. 31

    What wrong with this dude that he gets fucked up by a Maltese!!!! It a little dog! Just stomp that BITCH!!



  32. 32

    if the dog had able to choose another owner i´m sure it had done but it couldn´t so is depressed, normal. i would be depressed and i´m not a dog



  33. 33

    Pourquoi le chien était-il si fâché? Est qu'il a identifié un autre vieux bouledogue fâché

  34. Hole says – reply to this


    34

    I didn't know James Garner was the president of France…He should do another Maxwell house commercial



  35. 35

    omg no!they better not hurt the poor animal.he suffers from depression already.isn't that enough?besides this is not the 1st time a dog attacks his owner.



  36. 36

    Hello, dogs can be depressed. When my grandmother passed away her beloved chihuahua became so depressed that she died a month later. My poor grandfather had to deal with the grief of losing two loved ones.



  37. 37

    when they were talking about the man being mauled by a dog i thought they were talking about mrs Chirac not some poor dog. if you were a bod woned by jacques you would be depressed too



  38. 38

    Clinically depressed dog is exactly how Teddy will be diagnosed after a whole year of you fisting and raping him bad Piggy.. if you can't understand that a dog can have issues like any human being then you are screwed… poor Teddy someone needs to take him away from you!



  39. 39

    Must be some mistake about the breed. Maltese dogs only weigh about 5 pounds. How much damage could one or them cause, depressed or not?



  40. 40

    Jacques Chirac sounds like a cartoon bad guy's name.



  41. 41

    Did he say this? " It's my own fault, I should never have teased him with peanut butter on my weewee but before he just licked it off, I don't blame the poor mutt he was just going after some of the crunchy stuff that had dripped onto my nut sak and for that I blame myself????



  42. 42

    How can a dog be clinically depressed? The same way humans can, idiot — by having a chemical imbalance in their brains. Duh.



  43. 43

    Re: A Noun – And it's treated with Prozac and other pharmaceuticals, or holistic medicine.



  44. 44

    Too bad the dog didn't rip his throat out and kill him. Payback for all his sweetheart deals with Saddam is a bitch.



  45. 45

    WOW!



  46. 46

    Yes, Clinically depressed sounds silly. I have a cat that started peeing on my stove and when I brought her to the Vet they said she was depressed. They gave her some kitty prozac and believe it or not….she Stopped!!! Crazy huh?