Well, if she's gonna turn to anyone, we totally expect it to be the "consciously uncoupling" star!
Because, DUH! Who better to understand Beyoncé's pain than the Goop author?!
Well, if push comes to shove, we now know that Nadya Suleman has a backup career!
Turns out that Octopussy has some "exotic dancing" experience. The 33-year-old mother of 14 tells the National Enquirer, "It's true that I was a topless dancer, but that's all."
Translation: "I shook my titties, but I wasn't a hooker!"
According to the mag, Nadya confessed to a friend, "I had not even kissed a boy. But I entered a dance/lingerie contest in a club near my home. I danced and paraded in lingerie. Then, when I was 19, I went to a gentleman's club and performed as a topless dancer. But I only did it one night. I quit when I found out I was expected to perform lap dances on the customers."
She described the incidents as part of an "investigative stage of my life."
Now, we ain't gonna judge, but we'd be scared of getting a lap dance from the Octo-Mom - it's probably just a ploy for some spermination action!
And with all that crazy in her eyes, we imagine that a sexy dance from Nadya would be as painful as watching a pre-Circus Britney Spears wiggle around.
[Image via WENN.]