Well, if she's gonna turn to anyone, we totally expect it to be the "consciously uncoupling" star!
Because, DUH! Who better to understand Beyoncé's pain than the Goop author?!
Oh great, as if the world wasn't polluted enough with crappy music, now Britney's backstabbing friend/former assistant, Alli Sims, is belching up a single called Driving Blind.
If you're feeling particularly self-loathing, you can listen to a 60 second sneak peek below.
Even 60 seconds is too much!