In Lance, out in a couple of months, Lance Armstrong reveals why he and Sheryl Crow broke up, while also revealing a touch of douchebaggery.
Blaming her "biological clock," Armstrong says that he wasn't ready for Crow's pressure cooker uterus, saying, "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids."
He then adds, "Because if somebody wants a child — man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one."
Yes, Lance, because you and your singular testicle are god's greatest gift to women.
Against all odds, Armstrong later anointed girlfriend Anna Hansen with his golden semen, as she is due next month with their baby.
[Image via WENN.]