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Lance Armstrong Reveals Why He And Sheryl Crow Broke Up

| Filed under: Love LineLance ArmstrongSheryl Crow

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In Lance, out in a couple of months, Lance Armstrong reveals why he and Sheryl Crow broke up, while also revealing a touch of douchebaggery.

Blaming her "biological clock," Armstrong says that he wasn't ready for Crow's pressure cooker uterus, saying, "She wanted marriage, she wanted children; and not that I didn't want that, but I didn't want that at that time because I had just gotten out of a marriage, I'd just had kids."

He then adds, "Because if somebody wants a child — man, that's the greatest gift you can give to a woman — so who are you to stand there and say I don't want one."

Yes, Lance, because you and your singular testicle are god's greatest gift to women.

Against all odds, Armstrong later anointed girlfriend Anna Hansen with his golden semen, as she is due next month with their baby.

[Image via WENN.]

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63 comments to “Lance Armstrong Reveals Why He And Sheryl Crow Broke Up”

  1. @v@ says – reply to this


    1

    Don't you just love folks who say one thing but do another?



  2. 2

    i told you so……..this is only the tip of the iceberg. douche-baggery up, down and all the way around!



  3. 3

    Sheryl is better off without a selfish man who would abandon his wife and kids.



  4. 4

    What an asshole!

    YOU'RE THE ONE THAT PROPOSED TO HER IN 2005'.
    IF YOU DIDN'T WANT A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP WITH HER YOU SHOULD HAVE WALKED. NOW YOUR BIG MOUTH HAS TO BLABBB ABOUT IT.

    DICK HEAD!

    SHERYL IS WAY TOO GOOD FOR YOU ANYWAYS



  5. 5

    Lance is awesome.



  6. 6

    Fucktard!!!!!!!!

  7. MP says – reply to this


    7

    I don't get the appeal of this man. I don't find him good looking at all.



  8. 8

    yet he got involved with her anyway.



  9. 9

    JERK!



  10. 10

    yup, he's douchy.



  11. 11

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  12. 12

    eeeewwww, what a creep. she made him relevant.



  13. 13

    eeeewwww!



  14. 14

    I THINK SHERYL IS BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM…AND SHE NOW HAS A BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY…NOT TO INSLUT A KID, BUT HER ADOPTED SON IS WAY MORE ADORABLE THAN ANYTHING SHE WOULD'VE PRODUCED WITH LANCEY-PANTS…
    ARMSTRONG IS A GREAT CYCLER, BUT I HAVE TO AGREE WITH PERETZEL, HIS STATEMENT IS RATHER DOUCHEY!



  15. 15

    Re: Long Dong Connery – SIR! AND I THOUGHT I HAVE A FOUL MOUTH…LMAO, JK…



  16. 16

    HELP MY SISTER BATTLE CANCER ANG HELP GET HER STORY OUT PLEASE
    w w w . s a v e j e n n . w o r d p r e s s . c o m
    w w w . s a v e j e n n . w o r d p r e s s . c o m
    w w w . s a v e j e n n . w o r d p r e s s . c o m
    w w w . s a v e j e n n . w o r d p r e s s . c om

  17. klate says – reply to this


    17

    Er, I think 7 Tour de France wins makes him pretty "relevant" to those who follow his sport. Oh, and the MILLIONS he raises for cancer research…also pretty relevant. Perhaps not to those who only care what Robert Patinson is doing but…
    And while I don't think he necessarily should be talking about his past relationships he's at least brave enough to admit he wasn't ready for marriage and kids, not sure that necessarily makes him a douche. I think it's more interesting how someone who has only one testicle, rides his bike 7 hours a day and has had multiple rounds of chemo was magically able to impregnate his new girlfriend….makes you wonder about PED's, no?

  18. @v@ says – reply to this


    18

    'It's not that I don't want kids. It's just that I don't want them with YOU.'
    Trouser snake.



  19. 19

    Re: Paigee – u took the words right out of my brain! WHAT AN ASSHOLE!!



  20. 20

    who'd want his steroid-laden wack-ass jizz anyway?

    what an arrogant douchebag.



  21. 21

    Never liked the idiot.



  22. 22

    '
    '
    '
    '
    '
    fucker thinks he's all that- his ego is so inflated - he's a cuu*nt
    '
    '

    '
    '
    '



  23. 23

    eww what an asshole



  24. 24

    Plain and Simple, the guy is an AZZHOLE!!



  25. 25

    Oh my, speculators. Perez must love the drama he creates and the lives he destroys. And, you would SCREAM if your friends treated you the same as celebs are treated.

    GO LANCE!



  26. 26

    Can someone say "He's just not that into you"….. that is all it is really. If he really loved her he would have had a child with her and made it official that is what guys do when they love someone.. not just let them go



  27. 27

    Re: UrMajestyMsG – Thank you, thank you, very much!!!!
    sit on my lap, i have to ask you a question!!!!!!!



  28. 28

    did you seriously just fucking jab at someone because of testicular cancer? low blow ass hole.



  29. 29

    because Tory Burch was way hotter than the Santa Monica Blvd he was riding in



  30. 30

    he's an IDIOT!! IDIOT!!



  31. 31

    I don't blame Lance, being pressured into doing something you don't want is really uncomfortable.



  32. 32

    he had cancer thats why he has one testicle, you dont make fun of that perez!



  33. 33

    Re: Long Dong Connery – OH, AND WHATS THAT SIR?



  34. 34

    Mario , are you on some kind of medication or drugs or are you just this stupid?



  35. 35

    that drawing is as hilarious as it is cruel…. lol and one of the reasons i keep coming back to this site :D



  36. 36

    What a putz.
    Sheryl, kudos to you for moving on after this 1st class arrogant asshole. You can only go up from here.



  37. 37

    A child is the greatest gift a woman gives a MAN…it's the woman who gives her body for 40 weeks, risks her health, gives up many foods and other pleasures and then goes through an agonizing delivery/recovery period…to bring HIS child into the world. All he does is ejaculate.



  38. 38

    you hit the nail on the head, Perez. In addition, i'm so sick of the media drooling over this guy, when his responses are always so arrogant. Yes, his "gifted" testicle is gods gift to women. Puke

  39. midi says – reply to this


    39

    by his actions, looks like he's the one that wanted to breed and help overpopulate the earth. didn't she adopt instead of sperminate? guy's a dog.



  40. 40

    EVERYONE KNOWS CHERYL CROW IS THE QUEEN OF SWAGGER JACKING!! GOOGLE KEVIN GILBERT. SHE AINT A PRINCESS AND REMEMBER SHE IS ONE THAT TOOK MONEY FROM THAT BAILOUT BANK TO PERFORM - NORTHERN TRUST! HER ADOPTED KID IS ACTUALLY THE TEEN PREGNANCY RESULT OF ONE OF HER BAND MEMBERS.



  41. 41

    sheryl crow has never looked more radiantly happy since breaking up with Arm-douche. she has a beautiful baby and her career is still the bomb.
    meanwhile, mr. yellowbracelet a/k/a god-gift's looks are careening to the wall faster than a locamotive, so…
    way to dogde THAT bullet, sheryl.
    go girl!

  42. poli says – reply to this


    42

    I WANT HIS SEMEN TOO!



  43. 43

    Total douche…TEAM SHERYL!… :)



  44. 44

    why is he a douchebag, she wanted children, he didn't better they separate now then regret it later when a child would be involved



  45. 45

    Guess he hasn 't figured out that a woman gives HIM the children, she doesn't just have them for herself! He should be so lucky!



  46. 46

    Why would he want to say that. It's no one's business. That would be like Brad Pitt suddenly making a statement of why his marriage to Aniston really failed. It's not needed. He should have had respect for Sheryl and kept his mouth shut.



  47. 47

    He just wanted to skip the marriage mumbo jumbo and get on with baby making! lol



  48. 48

    i agree with him..that is the greatest gift a man can give a woman. where is the "douchebaggery" or whatever gay shit you wanna call it. good for him for not wanting to produce a fugly offspring with that tranny. hag needed to be knocked off her high horse.



  49. 49

    Whoa! Douche is right! "The greatest gift you can give a WOMAN???" Hey, Fucktard, women are the ones who CARRY your children for 9 months in THEIR body. Take your "gift" and throw it away in that tissue, asshole. Good thing she did dump you.



  50. 50

    If he could sperminate himself, I think he would. He is in love with himself. He used to be an arrogant ass way back in his triathlete days, then after he started bike racing, cancer mellowed him out and made him a more sympathetic figure. but down DEEP, he's still an ARROGANT ASS.



  51. 51

    this man is quite the scumbag: he abandoned the woman who stood by his side while he was sick and training on his way to his tour de france victories, and then what? he dumps her for sheryl crow (and now he insults this one too, the defective bastard)

    another sign of d-baggery: he began hanging out with matt mccouneghy (or however the fuck you spell his name)

    AND the guys from his team take perf-enhancing drugs (look it up)



  52. 52

    I can't stand him. He's always seemed more interested in how many celebrity chicks he could screw than being a husband or father. The moment he got famous, he dumped them. He's an asshole.



  53. 53

    Screw the UNIBALLER…God what a douche….
    She is lucky to be rid of him as is his ex and this current lady will be thinking she should have walked prior to baby…once a dick always a dick



  54. 54

    Come on Perez. You're not offended by what Lance said as you are by the fact you can't have a baby by him.



  55. 55

    I'm so tired of this assbag. I wish he would just lose his other nut and SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

  56. fiera says – reply to this


    56

    He has done great things for cycling and cancer, but that's it-Otherwise, he is no prize, more of a douche!!! What an egotistical and stupid thing to say!!!



  57. 57

    Yeah, and Lance knew this new chick all of 2 minutes before he impregnated her. Way to go you douche!



  58. 58

    Dude, Perez, YOU'RE being the douchebag. He's not saying that his sperm is a magical gift; he's saying that a man giving the gift of motherhood is something great that any man can give a woman. You're such a turd these days….



  59. 59

    Re: Dixie77 – the best comment EVER!!!



  60. 60

    he is a dick.

  61. brock says – reply to this


    61

    I have never understood why so many people just looove Lance Armstrong. Yes, he is a gifted cyclist and a cancer survivor, but other than that, he is a TOOL, A DOUCHE AND A GIANT CHODE.

  62. fiera says – reply to this


    62

    Re: Dixie77 – You got that right- Someone should tell Lance that!!



  63. 63

    that's Karma, someone else gets knocked up on purpose