Warn Your Ears, Jessica Biel Is Singing.
Yes, it's true. Timberpuss' girl will be belting out a tune this summer at the Hollywood Bowl. Jessica Biel miraculously sung her way into the production of the musical Guys and Dolls.
She tells Parade:
"I auditioned for a summer production of Guys and Dolls at the Hollywood Bowl. I thought, 'Well, I'm not a soprano anymore, but I guess I'll go in for it.' I literally walked in and said, 'I can do this song but we're going to have to drop it down a few notes.' Actually, I did pretty well and I got the part of Sandy, which I'll be performing later this summer."
Way not to know you character, Jess. You're playing Sarah Brown. Sandy is from Grease, which is a completely different musical, in a completely different time frame!
Ugh, please know your shit before you enter the world of musical theatre!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, supposedly Jessica has had some experience in this area and had high hopes for herself:
"I know nobody really knows this about me, but I really started in musical theater doing Annie and The Sound of Music. I wanted to be Whitney Houston. That was my dream."
Some dreams should remain on the back burner, sweetie.
Let's just hope there won't be an album after this debacle.
Do U think Jessica can sing?
[Image via WENN.]
Winehouse vs Duffy
Hugh Is A Fab Dad
SHE HAS A NICE ASS THATS ABOUT IT.
What is a sorority girls favorite position?
Facing Bloomingdale's.
She's got great arms!! Look at that shoulder!
I'm not gonna hate on her for doing a musical because I've never heard her sing…But I do think it's kinda weird. She should do a romantic comedy or something. Girls cute.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
YUCK! Look at her man arms! That is soooo not attractive.
ohh no!!!! please don't do it
I remember her singing on Donnie and Marie one time when they had their daytime show. She had just started on 7th Heaven. She sang Seasons of Love with them form Rent. She was actually pretty good.
Re: Long Dong Connery – Afternoon, such a lovely day to be at work, dont you think?
shes too hot for broadway!
ANYONE WHO COULD PUT UP WITH DOUCHEY McBEAK FACE (giant beak) AKA timberDOUCHE is bad in my book!!!
also anyone who does strip scenes for a movie that goes straight to video!!!
She's a very pretty woman! I HOPE she can sing! I think she's a little full of herself though!!
Luck be a Lady!
.
Can't wait!
MY THEORY IS TIMER-DOUCHE IS I THE CLOSET, BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE AT LEAST PARTIALLY GAY TO BE RUBBING ALL UP ON THAT MUSCULAR BODY AND FIND IT HOT - MEN ARE GENERALLY MUCH MORE MUSCULAR /HARD THAN WOMEN-
COME OUT OF THE CLOSET TIMBERDOUCHE!!!!
oh gawd, please don't release an album, at least i can run away from your show for the summer..
i think she is great! she will rock and we will all be pleasantly surprised! she is such a true role model(except she does need to know her shit)…which is why you don't like her all that much
I love this site but it's starting to really take a nastier, more bullying kind of tone with certain celebrities. What's the difference between picking on somebody and this? I hate to say it Perez but it sounds like you're having a bad day and am taking it out on this actress. Rise above it. Please.
oh noo, annoys the crap out of me and her arms are too muscular….
Re: JigSaw – I hear ya…… i just got back after a week off….
Anything new…….
If Jessica Biel can find a BF and an acting role, then there's hope for losers everywhere. I might be able to turn my new script into a film after all!!!!!
her top lip & nose have always bugged the shit out of me…. why is he with her again?
she is just….meh. Kinda mannish looking, and the obvious nose job and silicone plumped lips do nothing for her.
Well keep dreaming, Jess. You'll NEVER be anything close to Whitney 'The Voice' Houston.
Oh… her giant fake chompers look really…..fake!
how can any of us know if we haven't heard her? you want us to say if we think she can sing based on her LOOKS? who she HANGS OUT WITH? THINGS SHE DOES? wouldn't that be, say, DISCRIMINATION? oh, wait, perez loves everyone. He couldn't possibly judging someone based on looks, acts or anything like that.
OH, DEAR GOD — P-L-E-A-S-E DON'T START SINGING, JESSICA. YOUR 'ACTING' IS HARD ENOUGH TO ENDURE.
i've heard her before when a site posted a clip .. she's boring sounding, nothing special, i can sing better than that. she only got the role because she is just so stunningly gorgeous *roles eyes*
Ugh! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
Actually she sings in that movie Easy Vertue. And though I didn't like her or the movie, if I'm being honest, she has a nice voice.
Her arms are so manly!!!
She is actually a better singer than actress. I actually don't think she is much of an actress, but I have to say, her voice is pretty good.
She has a nice, mellow voice, but it's nowhere near as good as Whitney Houston. Singers like Whitney and Mariah are rare, because they have huge vocal ranges.
Hmmm, she's beautiful, has a great body, can act, and can sing. Maryo is butt-ugly, is as fat as a pig, talks like a little bitch, can't sing, act, or do anything but voice his heterophobic hate speech. No wonder "BackFat" is jealous of Jessica.
her nose and upper lip look enhanced
WHITNEY WONT BE ASKING FOR A DUET ANYTIME SOON. DREAM OVER..!
OK CHECKED HER OUT ON YTUBE. SHE 'S AVG BUT DOESN'T SUCK TOTALLY. A TYPICAL AMERICAN IDOL FINALIST, NO GREAT WINNER THO. WHITNEY IS PRETTY SAFE, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT BY FAR.
We'll soon find out!
I personally love her and I'll support her no matter what.
who the fuck doesnt know the name of any character they're about to play, nevermind not know anything about musical theater if they're trying to venture in that industry. what a narcissistic bitch
Actually Perez, maybe you should do your research before you bash someone. I'm not her biggest fan (She kinda seems like a bitch) HOWEVER, she actually has a really good voice. I know you don't like her but give credit where credit is due.
wow does Perez diss every yuong girl.??….is it cause they all ignored in school, an when he was younger…he needs therapy…he trashes them all..
I've heard her sing so I know she can. She actually has a really good voice. She can sing some of these pop stars under the table. It's how she started as a kid in musical theater. Too bad you didn't know what you were talking about before you opened your big fucking mouth perez.
PUHLEAZE!!!! I already get a migraine looking at her fugly pics. Now I'm going to need to add barf to the list if I have to hear her on the radio as well.
I'm not a soprano anymore. Delusional. Stuck up. Timberlakeish. I think there are better choices than her. Does she know how to sing at all. I bet she doesn't.
Perez, when you look like her in a designers dress we'll talk about….
The girl is gorgeous and I actually find it very annoying that you keep calling Timberlake stupid names to insinuate that he is gay, you know he is NOT and you know he will never lose his time talking about you or acknowledging you.
Stop giving gay a bad name…
She never was a "soprano " Bass maybe!
Justin likes her masculine side?
I'm scared for this production.
Jessica is far too beautiful to sing
I thought that she thought that everyone else thought that she was too gorgeous for anyone to take her seriously as an actress or even a singing actress…now I know why, and it has nothing to do with her looks!
GOOD GOD!
DONT DO IT!!!!
nooooooooooooooooooooo
LOVE THE MAN SHOULDERS JESS!
WHO'S BUFFER, JESSICA OT JUSTIN?
LOL!!! =D
BE NICE YOU BULLY! God, you're pathetic Perez.. You really are..
what does she mean "not a suprano anymore" …. did her balls drop?
Good lord, what an awful photo! Her face is pretty, but the rest of her is so mannish. If you can't see her face in this pic, she could pass for a guy in a toga!
She has an OK singing voice, I heard her on 7th Heaven
Re: djpurity – LOL! LOL! LMFAO!
She's beautiful… If she will sing, she triumph.
Re: Drek – If she keeps her mouth shut about how beautiful she is, she triumph.
So, at first I thought the "Sandy" thing was a typo. But seriously?? As a musical Theater major in college, I am disgusted. Not only is she "too pretty" but she's so very intelligent too! I hope she's an outrageous failure. I bet she'll call Sky Masterson "Master Sky".
What a twat. *fuming*
Wait - did I miss the memo or do you have some actual talent besides being a negative prick?
she also claimed her BEAUTY is a problem! and now she claims she can sing? I need a cave to hide ASAP!
I are two byoteefull two find werk in Holliwould. I are gonna be in a muzicull insted. It are called 'Dudes and Chicks' or 'Pimps and Ho's' or sumthing like that. I are gonna play Sandy or Sammi or Saffron or sumthing like that. When that flops., I are gonna make a exurcise videeo.
She sang in an episode of 7th Heaven and it sounded fine.
She would kick Perez's a$$ in a popularity contest, a beauty contest, OR a singing contest; and unlike Perez I bet she doesn't hate straight people.
Look at her arm, yea shes pretty if your into drags… bleh
Great arms? For a guy maybe. Girls are supposed to be soft and cuddly. Not hard and masculine.
Unless you drive a truck and like hot chicks too..
How'd she manage to drop a tune down "a few notes"? Isn't this increment described more often in "octaves" and "keys"….just sayin'…
NEwhooooz, go on dipshit, give singing a whirl…we've got plenty of technology.
wtf happened to her nose ?!
and her arms are so muscular and manly, ew.
ohhh my god….. why wont she just shuuuut uppppp!!!
OMG Manly Arms!
if you have to drop a few notes you don't deserve the roll at all.
whatevs another scarlet johanson….throw this one into the pile of actors-turned- singers, and bring in the next poser.
Why wont she just go away…It's like she has the making of a hottie, bug lips, green eyes etc… And yet I cannot bear her fugly face.
GOOD LORD… LOOK AT THOSE FREAKY ARMS!!!!!
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SHE PROBABLY WAS A SOPRANO BEFORE SHE STARTED TAKING ALL THOSE STEROIDS!!
Having played Sarah myself, I am appalled that she would audition for a role she knows nothing about. Way to research your roles. I”m sure she'll fail magnificently.
Those first few notes are awful, and the rest is not much better — breathy, contrived, insincere, and rather flat in several places.
She put it out there for public consumption, folks.
I calls 'em likes I sees 'em.
Just because someone wants to be a celebrity doesn't mean they're talented.
PITBULLS CAN'T SING!!!!!