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I'm Sorry

| Filed under: Personally PerezSad Sad

"People make mistakes. I have made many in my life, but this past week I have made more than I can count on one hand.

I am sorry. And I mean it. No one is forcing me to write this. I am not feeling pressured to say this. I am speaking out because I realize that the last few days have been more hurtful to me - and many others - than the repeated blows I suffered to my head in Toronto this past weekend.

I have been filled with incredible sadness and regret.

I am sorry that any good work I have done for promoting equality may be tainted by me reclaiming a hurtful word - that's been personally used against me and the gay community - to hurt someone that was verbally attacking me. It was stupid.

Apologizing for me is not easy. Writing this was not easy. Life is not easy. But everything happens for a reason and I will take away a lot of valuable lessons from this experience.

Violence is never the answer. Never.

Victims should not be mocked.

The "F" word will never be uttered from my lips again. Just as others use the "N" word to insult and hurt - or as part of their everyday speech - I challenge them to remove it from their vocabulary as well.

Hindsight is always 20/20, they say. I should have been the bigger man and walked away from an unfortunate situation. Instead, I chose - in a very misguided way - to stand up for myself and only made things worse by how I - under pressure, anger and extreme emotion - handled the situation.

I am sorry.

I am NOT apologizing to GLAAD. I could care less about them, my former employers.

I am apologizing to the gay community, to anyone who was hurt by my choice of words, and to all the people who have ever emailed me to thank me for all that I have done to fight for gay rights over the last few years.

I have reached out to Isaiah Washington, someone I incorrectly labeled a homophobe in the past, despite his own public statements that he was not.

I will be donating any money collected from my lawsuit against Polo Molina, road manager for the Black Eyed Peas, to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

And I will continue to speak out for equality and support the great work done by LGBT organizations, such as LAMBDA Legal and HRC.



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1700 comments to “I'm Sorry”

More comments: [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1117 »

  1. 1

    good for you for apologizing on your own terms perez

  2. 2

    How noble…

  3. 3

    Your a good person Perez and this takes a lot of guts to say! Stay Strong=]

  4. 4

    Okay, Perez, we get it! Although it's wrong that someone hurt you (WORDS DON'T JUSTIFY VIOLENCE!), I think it's best for everyone for this to blow over and for you to handle this privately.

  5. 5

    damage control!

  6. 6

    Sounds sincere

  7. 7


  8. 8

    You go Perez!

  9. 9

    the damage is already done

  10. 10

    You're filing a lawsuit?! Seriously?! You realize that will.i.am can sue you for slander, right? Is that something you REALLY want to get into considering you were JUST as in the wrong as everyone else?!

  11. 11

    You are awesome Mario!

  12. 12


  13. 13

    Apologizing on your own terms was wonderful, very heartfelt. That must have been hard for you to write, it comes from the heart.

  14. 14

    we all say things in the heat of the moment. i'm gay and standing behind you perez!

  15. 15

    Sorry you are having such a bad week Perez.
    Sending hugs to you!

  16. 16

    thank you =) perez, im not even homosexual and i still get offended by that word it disappointed me to hear you say it, but you keep doing your thing!

  17. 17

    Good On You Perez. I know this wasn't easy for you. But you've done well.

  18. 18

    Omg dude okay you've said your peace now stop milking this for everything you can and stfu.

  19. 19

    Perez, i wish you the best of luck my respect for you has returned

    hi fives for perez and lots of love :)

  20. 20

    We all make mistakes! but not all of us admit them! and that's what truly counts! keep speaking for equality and keep fighting for what belongs to us!

  21. Ebra says – reply to this


    That's good. At least you're being honest about what you're going to do with the lawsuit money. I have been in a situation like that and it is not pleasant whatsoever. I'm glad to see you're still in one piece with your humor intact. Feel better, Perez!

  22. 22

    well said!

  23. 23

    whats done is done… dont feel so bad…

  24. 24

    Thanks Perez, that was a good thing to do. You are an honest guy, and you are human, too. Best wishes

  25. 25

    I think this is the beginning of the end for you Perez.

    Its nice that you are a champion of some causes, but lately you have gone from being a gossip blogger to some sort of vigilante and you bring more attention to things than I care to read about (MIss California).

    This used to be where I went for a quick break, a mindless read, a chuckle. Now its all politics and Perez.

    I think you have become the famewhore you so quickly accuse others of being. I think YOUR 15 minutes are over.

  26. 26

    it's big of you to apologize,
    good for you

  27. 27

    No matter what Perez, you are loved. Not by everyone, but I hope that those who you've angered will accept your apology. Live and learn, but remain the person that you are…Canada loves you!!!

  28. 28

    love ya perez!

  29. 29

    You should also be sorry for taking much needed media attention away from the bigger issues in the world, like the unjust election and violence in Iran.

  30. 30

    you go Mario!

  31. 31

    cased closed.

  32. 32

    awsome! perez

  33. 33

    good for you!

  34. 34

    very nice Perezito

  35. 35

    quit beating a dead horse, you've already apologized!

  36. 36

    I applaud your strength for making that statement. For me - one person, but a longtime follower - all is forgiven. It takes a lot to say I'm sorry and I'm proud of you for doing so. I am also so incredibly proud that you are sending all proceeds to such an honorable charity. Stay strong Perez.

  37. 37

    Thanks for being strong enough to apologize.

  38. 38

    That doesn't sound like much of an apology. Try again.

  39. 39

    awww perez, dont be sadd; i still love you :) haha

  40. 40

    it's ok; you're forgiven! We are all human beings and you were just being human!

  41. 41

    let's move on

  42. 42

    Wow Perez… much respect in regards to everything that's been happening the last few days. I hope all will be alright for you!

  43. 43

    FUCK Will.I.am or whatever the fuck his dumb ass name is! He should use Fergie's panties since he doesn't like having balls!!

  44. 44

    one of the most passive-aggressive apologies i've ever seen. An apology is not to continue to lay blame or accusations…it is to take responsibility for what you believe YOU have done wrong. it's better than nothing, i suppose…so, thank you for the steps you did take in this column.

  45. 45

    Love is to forgive. Personally, I never gave it a thought. You have entertained me and that's all I care about. This will soon be over so don't worry.

  46. 46

    I respect that.

  47. 47


  48. 48

    Very Classy Perez! Hope its not too late for all those haters!

  49. 49

    Thank you.

  50. 50

    jesus still loves you

  51. 51

    I'm so conflicted on what to think, honestly.

  52. 52

    nobody cares about this anymore!
    go back to talking shit about other people….it's what you do best.

  53. 53

    jesus keeps loving you

  54. 54


  55. 55

    You're a great guy, Perez. We all know that things like that happen.
    But you should never regret what you have ever done.
    Instead, learn from it.

  56. 56

    i don't know if this is sincere….and why would you reach out to Isaiah Washington? you like super vocal about him getting kicked off the show…you're just as bad as him if not worse….and thank you for pointing that out…

  57. aysia says – reply to this


    i'm proud of you perez, because you're not just reaching out to one community, you're reaching out to everyone equally. no, what you said was not right, and no, what will.i.am did to you was not right either. confrontation is still confrontation, and even verbal confrontation could hurt just as bad as physical. regardless, i am proud.

  58. 58

    your a disappointment to the human race perez.

  59. 59

    I'm sorry you've been taken to task so often this week and I admit I recoiled when I heard the word you used, especially after the stories you've posted of people being harassed because of their sexuality and young children killing themselves over taunts of being gay. But I'm glad you stepped back and looked at the situation without all the rush of emotion and realized how hurtful that word usage was. Stay strong and hopefully the person who resorted to physical violence will be man enough to apologize as well.

  60. 60

    WHAT A WIMP…………. Now i feel even more sad for you, HAHAHAHA…

  61. 61

    *clap clap clap*

  62. 62

    I feel that this whole situation has been completely blown out of proportion and spun in a manner that was unacceptable. No-one was a victim and no-one deserved to be hurt. You said one word and got hit mulitiple times? How does that make you the bad guy? Society is fucked these days and i hope you come out of this the hero not the one to blame. Your amazing perez dont ever doubt that :) With love from New Zealand xo

  63. 63

    OKAY. You regret because you're feeling your ass boiling now. Lame excuses.

  64. 64


  65. 65

    you didnt do anything wrong

  66. 66

    Sorry to say this, but this shit is getting old. It's good that you're owning up to your actions but seriously, stfu about this incident already. Shit happens when people are drinking and having a good time. What's done is done. Just move forward.

  67. 67

    karmas a bitch.

  68. 68

    Too little too late you lame-o fucktard!!

  69. 69

    You don't get off that easy. Everyone fucking hats you now. Its over. Deal with it. You're a hypocrite and a liar.

  70. sonny says – reply to this


    Karma is coming back on you for treating Miss California so horribly and intolerably. You've never apologized for how you treated her just because she voiced an opinion. It came back to bite you in the butt.

  71. 71

    Good for you Perez, I'm glad to see you've got some balls…

  72. 72

    Good for you Perez, you made a mistake and you are owning up to it. That's more than most people do. A lot of stupid people will probably comment with insults, but ignore them. You are admitting fault and asking forgiveness, you are only human.

  73. werwe says – reply to this



  74. 74

    Its OK, we understand…no need to go on cause then it'll start to sound insincere

  75. 75

    good boy!

  76. 76


  77. 77

    jesus will be there when nobody else is

  78. 78

    We all make mistakes, Perez. But know there are people like me out there who are rooting for you. Thanks for the apology, hope this will all blow over soon!! XOXO Come to Atlanta sometime, I'll take you to Blakes!

  79. 79


    fuck GLAAD


  80. 80

    and i'm mad because you would not let the Isaiah Washington thing go…and this won't be forgotten either…

  81. 81

    Go Perez for apologizing!

  82. 82





  83. mooji says – reply to this


    Dya know what? Bollocks to your apology. You deliberately used that word to anger someone who you knew would hate it more than any other word. You didn't deserve to be hit, but you certainly deserve to be criticised. GLAAD do great work, and your refusal to apologise to them is appalling.

  84. rsrs says – reply to this


    well said perez! i think it was obvious the N word came out of your mouth because you were being harrased by that group, which in my book i will no longer look at with respect, despite your words i dont think you should of been punched, shoved or anything else, so i support you perez, and a good deed you do on your website is support and introduce us to new musicians, you're just another critic of music like we all are, and we shouldnt be condemned for our opinions.

  85. 85


  86. 86

    jesus loves you right now

  87. 87

    Words for good Perez! Well done.
    Keep it going strong!

  88. 88

    Good for you, Perez! Perhaps people will shut up now.
    And please, just move on now. Let this stupid situation go, for your own sake! You are better than this!

  89. 89

    That was awesome of you, Perez.

  90. 90

    It takes a lot of nerve to apologize, I respect that.

  91. 91

    I think you are amazing and that this apology is well written but not enitrely needed. I don't want the BEP to take it as an apology to them. You are the best Perez. Try not to think about what happened. All of us in Toronto are embarassed about the situation, and our police. We love you perez.

  92. 92

    it will be good if you take off your charges against the manager off BEP

    cuz you said violence is never the answer
    but you did a lot of violence with your words.. sometimes you should think twice before posting something and think that behind from those people you talk theres a family, friends and people who look at them as role models. shame on you.

  93. 93

    ok…………… you should apoligize to will.i.am for saying that, that was what made him super angry i bet, maybe he has a friend or family member who is gay. you're a mean person, and you should be nicer on your site, if you continue i hope you fucking get it worse next time, but hey, it doesn't matter what i think or say right? words dont hurt :)

  94. 94

    YES!! Thank you for reaching out to Isaiah! That was huge because I was thinking that you were a hyprocrite before you did that! I also think that this is a good start. But I think that it would be even better to apolgize to you know who…after all HE is the one that you called that ugly word!

  95. 95

    Good for you. Thank you.

  96. 96


  97. 97


  98. 98

    This is like the 3rd "Apology" you've made this week.

    You're just sorry cause people are getting mad at the stupid decisions you make.

  99. 99

    I agree- Your a good person Perez and this takes a lot of guts to say!

  100. 100

    If you are really sorry, you will drop the lawsuit and apologize for instigating which really falls under hate crime.

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