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I'm Sorry

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"People make mistakes. I have made many in my life, but this past week I have made more than I can count on one hand.

I am sorry. And I mean it. No one is forcing me to write this. I am not feeling pressured to say this. I am speaking out because I realize that the last few days have been more hurtful to me - and many others - than the repeated blows I suffered to my head in Toronto this past weekend.

I have been filled with incredible sadness and regret.

I am sorry that any good work I have done for promoting equality may be tainted by me reclaiming a hurtful word - that's been personally used against me and the gay community - to hurt someone that was verbally attacking me. It was stupid.

Apologizing for me is not easy. Writing this was not easy. Life is not easy. But everything happens for a reason and I will take away a lot of valuable lessons from this experience.

Violence is never the answer. Never.

Victims should not be mocked.

The "F" word will never be uttered from my lips again. Just as others use the "N" word to insult and hurt - or as part of their everyday speech - I challenge them to remove it from their vocabulary as well.

Hindsight is always 20/20, they say. I should have been the bigger man and walked away from an unfortunate situation. Instead, I chose - in a very misguided way - to stand up for myself and only made things worse by how I - under pressure, anger and extreme emotion - handled the situation.

I am sorry.

I am NOT apologizing to GLAAD. I could care less about them, my former employers.

I am apologizing to the gay community, to anyone who was hurt by my choice of words, and to all the people who have ever emailed me to thank me for all that I have done to fight for gay rights over the last few years.

I have reached out to Isaiah Washington, someone I incorrectly labeled a homophobe in the past, despite his own public statements that he was not.

I will be donating any money collected from my lawsuit against Polo Molina, road manager for the Black Eyed Peas, to the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

And I will continue to speak out for equality and support the great work done by LGBT organizations, such as LAMBDA Legal and HRC.

Sincerely,

Perez"

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1700 comments to “I'm Sorry”

More comments: « 1 [2] 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1117 »



  1. 101

    "applaud" .. looks like someone's learning that equality means everyone, not jsut one community.



  2. 102

    thanks perez, that seemed heartfelt and I was glad to read it.



  3. 103

    Kudos! Way to step up and do the right thing. You are too much of a positive influence to have gone the way you were going. Keep up the good works!



  4. 104

    Suck it Perez.



  5. 105

    I LOVE SPICE GIRLS

    T.A.T.U.

    RUPAUL

    AND

    BRITNEY IS FAR BETTER THEN GAGA



  6. 106

    You suck AmazeBalls!!



  7. 107

    i 4give u



  8. 108

    I'm ashamed that there are so few comments on this post. It was very nice to hear such a sincere apology. Many Hollywood "apologies" are fake and written by a publicist and I'm glad that somebody in the glammed up world that is Hollywood is real. Thank you.



  9. 109

    when you made you video, you said it was as "mario"… why is this letter made by the name of "perez"?



  10. 110

    drop the lawsuit. then i might believe you to be sincere. you say you're sorry, then prove it. be a bigger man and let it go. reach out to black eyed peas camp and make amends like men.
    it'll be good for your soul



  11. 111

    Good words Perez. Good choice. It was about time.



  12. 112

    BRITNEY IS BACK!

    MELANIE BROWN ROCKS

    GERI HALLIWELL

    VICTORIA BECKHAM IS THE BEST!



  13. 113

    ` good dat ya apologized 4 ur mistakes but….
    who or wat da F is GLAAD ?



  14. 114

    never apologize.



  15. 115

    musta gotten hit in the pocketbook by the backlash, eh, Perez? You calling someone a F***ing F****t is like Charlie Brown calling someone a loser.



  16. 116

    Perez.. quit beating yourself up. We understand. You were angry and thought of the most hateful word you could think of. It makes sense. All is forgiven. Your fans are not going anywhere.
    And yes! abolishthenword (dotcom)
    One of my favorite sites.
    Hang in there. Hold your head high.



  17. 117

    good for you on apologizing. that crap pissed me off and as far as I can see a lot of others. I think you redeemed yourself with this letter.



  18. 118

    ………… taint………………



  19. 119

    its good to apologize, but stop making such a big deal out of it.



  20. 120

    JUST DO US ALL A FAVOR AND GO AWAY!!!



  21. 121

    omg - GLAAD & PETA sucks!!!



  22. 122

    Dear Perez,
    I forgive you. Do not let this mistake put a shadow over all of the good you do for equal rights- not even in your own mind. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep on keepin' on, my friend.

    Love,
    Semantics



  23. 123

    Fuck GLAAD they do not know what they are talking about…



  24. 124

    It's important to take responsibility for your actions and apologising shows that you understand that. Well done, if only we could have a little warning alarm that goes off every time we're about to do or say something stupid!! Damn hindsight and it's tortuously clear vision!!!



  25. 125

    You suck AmazeBalls!!!



  26. 126

    I love you, Perez! Keep on keepin on!



  27. 127

    I'm glad you did it. We all make mistakes. Let's keep fighting for gay rights!



  28. 128

    Well said



  29. 129

    You're forgivin Perez. Shit happens. We all do things sometimes that we feel sick about the next day. I forgive you. And you know what? The minute I forgave you, all negative feelings of any kind towards you left me. Now you must forgive yourself and you will feel better. This probably won't be the last mistake you ever make. Forgive yourself. You are loved.



  30. 130



  31. 131

    i support you perez
    you're doing the right thing
    best wishes during these awful times



  32. 132

    Im glad u apologized it was the right thing to do! :)



  33. 133

    This is what makes you different from everyone else perez!
    congrats love!



  34. 134

    anyone that thinks less of you because you used the "F" word… I wouldn't lose sleep! yes, the word is horrible, but it's different when used by us, especially considering you weren't using it in its anit-gay form. now, had you used the "N" word, that would be a different story, and you would be apologetic. you were in a state of shock and fear and you did the best you could under the circumstances to shut this mf up! chill out! i would still expect retaliation… anyone with his mentality isn't going to let you win! be careful!



  35. 135

    Nice! I love you Perez(:



  36. 136

    honey, we all say ugly things when we're angry. the fact that you feel ugly inside over it mean that you're sorry. fuck 'em.



  37. 137

    It's very gracious of you to say this Perez, and though I have never believed you should have to justify your behavior to anyone, it's nice that in this instance, you did what should have been done and apologized.



  38. 138

    Good for u perez! I love u and I think u are hilarious!



  39. 139

    I love you babe! Everything will work out!



  40. 140

    Good for you for reaching out to Isaiah. Better late than never.



  41. 141

    go P!



  42. 142

    good for you for standing up and apologizing. Words hurt, and in the heat of the moment people say things they don't mean. It doesn't mean you are a bad guy for saying that. We are all guilty of saying something cruel to someone just to piss them off! But, the apology is a noble gesture.



  43. 143

    Perez,

    I think you did the right thing by posting this apology to the gay community. You did owe it to gay people to apologize for saying what you did. You make a good analogy to the "N word" when black people use it freely.

    To the Perez Haters,

    GET THE F*CK OFF HIS SITE NOW. GET A LIFE. Or MAYBE you just CAN'T QUIT him …because you LOVE HIM. lol



  44. 144

    APPLAUD.



  45. 145

    good for you.
    and kudos for donating the money to charity



  46. 146

    I think you need to make a video or go on TV about this. This what a tacky, generic apology. How do people even know YOU wrote that, huh?



  47. 147

    Re: kisskiss – I second that



  48. 148

    Good for you Perez. Way to be a bigger man and stay true to your promise to be more compassionate. Apology accepted by this reader.



  49. 149

    Hey. Nice use of paragraphs–did you get some help on this one?

  50. __ says – reply to this


    150

    perez im proud that you have said sorry :) more ppl should learn from you



  51. 151

    Love you!



  52. 152

    It's about time, how about drop the whole law suit altogether as you are the one who provoked it. You have threatened yourself in the past Perez, remember how you said that you would have ripped the tiara off Carrie Prejean's head had she won (that's assault), theres also that singing competition you entered where some got to start over a song and you got all flustered about it. Do us all a favor and shut down this site, and you are the such a hypocrite. It took you way too long to apologize, you are not forgiven, pull the plug fatty…



  53. 153

    I don't understand why people are making such a big deal over what you said yes it was wrong but how many times a day does somebody say "oh that gay" or "your so gay" it's the same thing really. Really people if you don't like Perez then stay off his site and pretend like he doesn't exist, because what everyone is doing saying that he deserved to be hit for what he does for a living is just as worst as calling someone a F@gg0t.



  54. 154

    I'm glad that you're apologizing, kudos for realizing that your actions were very hypocritical and confusing, fuck the GLADD guys tho, to me they are no better than the bullies over at PETA. At first I admit that when I saw the video and heard you hurl the F word it immediately caught my attention and totally changed my opinion on the situation you were in. I sincerely hope that you have learned a small lesson in how certain situations bring out the absolute worst in people and stop judging others so fucking harshly.



  55. 155

    we all say things in the heat of the moment we would never say in our right state of mind. "to err is human, to forgive divine" perez. never forget that you are a human and those who scrutinize you are only human as well and therefore make the same mistakes. the only difference is that those who are so quick to judge you do not live their lives in the public eye. none of us can sit here and say what we would have done in your situation because it was YOUR situation alone. i agree whole heartedly that violence is NOT the way. there is no excuse to hit anyone. hitting someone is easy. speaking your voice and having an educated, articulated stance is hard. keep your head up and be the best you can be. :)



  56. 156

    aw…We love you Perez or Mario whatever but we love you :) )



  57. 157

    YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!YOU SUCK!!!



  58. 158

    It really takes a strong man to stand up and admit mistakes, especially when under the pressure and scrutiny of others. I am awfully sorry for what has happened to you, and I agree violence should never be the answer. With that sad, I was shocked when you used the f word and am glad you will no longer use it, now if only everyone took up that pledge!!!!!!



  59. 159

    Good on you, my friend.



  60. 160

    YOU ARE STILL SUING?

    YOU EFFING LITTLE BIZNATCH!

    Go apologize for becoming lame. I bet anything your rankings will drop in 3 months. You'll be in the next VH1

    C'est la vie, another unemployed gay man. There ain't no difference.



  61. 161

    love ya perez.



  62. 162

    NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!NOW WILL YOU STFU!!!!!!TOO LITTLE TOO LATE!!!!!DAMAGE CONTROL!!!!!!!!



  63. 163

    It is so refreshing to see a genuine apology, this statement seems sincere. The small amount of respect I had for you after your verbal tyrant just went up a notch.



  64. 164

    I understand completely where you are coming from. I understood where you were before. I am truly sorry that this happened in the first place. Perez, this is what you do. This is what you're know for and I hear people saying to me, "How could you look up to someone who talks shit about people?" and all I say is, "It's his job. It's what he's known for." and then they back off. People can't be that offended when you state your opinion. It's crazy! Well, I'm proud of you for apologizing. I had to apologize, as well. hehe i know how it feels though. My sister punched me today… for silly stuff. but anyways… i had to apologize to Jay Brannan (he actually talked to me?!) me and him got in a little arguement about all of this. So I'm proud of you! Very proud! Thank you!
    love,
    Carson!



  65. 165

    Shame on you! How quickly you climbed the elite ladder slamming Miss California. How does she look on your fall back to Earth, you hypocrite? I am glad you got your ass beat. You deserved it. Quite frankly you've deserved it for quite some time. Who do you think you are? You are a pathetic excuse for a human being…and the only apology you should be giving is to Miss California for expressing her personal beliefs.



  66. 166

    Thank you Perez, you didn't have to, you chose to and that's why it means so much. You talk the truth and you mean it! Violence is never the answer…but lies aren't either. You were honest to yourself and you have the right…VIVA USA!!



  67. 167

    DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!DROP THE LAWSUIT BECAUSE YOU INSTIGATED WITH YOUR HATE CRIME!!!!

  68. party says – reply to this


    168

    Re: Alyssa82 – read it again, ho.



  69. 169

    Great…I support U 100%, but I don't think U had to apologize…still I guess it's for the best. Good Luck with the lawsuit-Violence is never the answer!!!!!!!!



  70. 170

    You shouldn't say you could care less about GLAAD. Don't you know it's not good to burn your bridges? Have they not supported your efforts in the past or at least done one good thing for you? It appears they were actually asking you to apologize to the gay community and not to them anyway. Histrionic on your part.

    Furthermore, I am surprised that no womens rights groups have asked you to apologize for using the "C" word recently. Seriously, you are a trainwreck.



  71. 171

    Hang in there gurl!



  72. 172

    Feel better, P! You are forgiven!
    x's and o's!!!!!!!!!!



  73. 173

    :(



  74. 174

    HOw about an apology for being a racist? It's just funny…You would be running ANYONE who did what you did through the gauntlet! Life's a bitch Perez; so are you.



  75. 175

    Violence is never the answer. Neither is shouting a profane homophobic slur. There are two F words you would do well to avoid.



  76. 176

    love ya babe! everything will be fine!



  77. 177

    GAY'S UNITE…… PEREZ/MARIO IS A HATER, PLAIN AND SIMPLE…. ! LOOK HOW HE TURNED ON THE GAY CAUSE WHEN IT WAS FOR HIS BENEFIT, NOW HE'S SORRY?? AND IF SAYING SOMEONE IS GAY IS SO HURTFUL, WHAT DOES THAT REALLY SAY…….???? GOOD GOING PEREZ, WE WILL NOT FORGET………



  78. 178

    You are only apologizing for damage control. Either grow some empathy for others or STFU!!!!You are only apologizing for damage control. Either grow some empathy for others or STFU!!!!You are only apologizing for damage control. Either grow some empathy for others or STFU!!!!You are only apologizing for damage control. Either grow some empathy for others or STFU!!!!You are only apologizing for damage control. Either grow some empathy for others or STFU!!!!You are only apologizing for damage control. Either grow some empathy for others or STFU!!!!

  79. O_Ren says – reply to this


    179

    Not this shit again…



  80. 180

    I am sorry that it took this

    for your humanity to really show

    but now that it is you should know

    Mario

    It is truly beautiful to see.



  81. 181

    You can say "I'm sorry" how much you want to the gay communities, but will you say "i'm sorry" to all those people that you hurt with your words???
    'Cause I think this hurts so much more than any phisical attack.

    A bruise will disapear, what you cause on people's minds can remains…

  82. omz says – reply to this


    182

    we all say shit we should not say and shit we dont mean when we're mad, sad w.e… it takes a lot to recognize our mistakes if you're being sincere that's good for you =] so don't let stupid shit get to you ppl are gonna try to get you down but you're gonna be just fine



  83. 183

    Even though I hate that word and was shocked when I heard you say it, I think that being able to listen to the response of your use of that word and reflecting and admitting you were wrong to use it, shows that you can be mature. I agree that violence is not okay and it should never be permitted. I believe that saying "He had it coming" is ignorant. Its like saying "This will hurt me more than it will hurt you" or " You know I only act this way because I love you". To accept any form of violence is wrong and only leads to more violence.



  84. 184

    Oh well shit happens!!



  85. 185

    good job perez! that's more like it. it's okay to admit mistakes once in a while. you're finally growing up! took you 31 years to do it, but that's okay.



  86. 186

    Technically yes, saying the "F" word was bad and politically incorrect, but do you hear black people use the "N" word and not apologize for it? I know I have. If there's anybody who can use the "F" word, it is the gay community. I think that what happened to you was awful, aside from being hurt, the Toronto police should be ashamed that they didn't at least TRY to take a statement from you.



  87. 187

    Re: Minnesnowta – Nothing like kicking a man when he's down. Did that make you feel good?



  88. 188

    14 minutes, 57 seconds and counting… I hope you've enjoyed the ride but it is nearing its end. The emotional toll you've taken on thousands of people for the last couple years can't even compare to a couple taps on the head. Get over yourself… everybody else is.



  89. 189

    Good job Perez! (= I understand you used that word out of anger and nothing else, it happens to the best of us. Feel better love!



  90. 190

    NO WAY perez, i understand %100 why you chose that word and i don't think you need to apologize for ANYTHING. will.i.am came at you like an egotistical, insecure, son of a bitch and you chose to use a word in a context that would offend the masculine ego that has threatened women, homosexuals, and i guess "weaker" men for such a long time. you have nothing to apologize for and i think you know it, so stay strong and try to not let this get to you too much. not important. you are bigger than the black eyed peas. youre becoming a living legend.



  91. 191

    Re: sherwood – and your a loser



  92. 192

    Mario donating to the Mathew Shep Foundation is a great way to turn is awful incident and into something positive.



  93. 193

    Good for you Perez. I know in the beginning it seemed like what they did was totally wrong and your response was due to being pushed up against the wall. But I'm very happy to see that you did notice later that you kinda messed up as well by losing your cool and not walking away. Not many can do this so I know it's not easy. Once again I congratulate you on apologizing and learning from this event…and again we are all just mere mortals and we all make mistakes.



  94. 194

    This was nice. But…I think it's kind of weird to issue two hefty statements. Too bad the first one couldn't have included the personal sentiments and apologetic attitude that this one does.



  95. 195

    omg perez your still playing the victum card when will you honestly get over the fact that you were punched - OKIE we get it you have severe brain damage from the alleged blows to your head and we will just pretend you didnt verbally abuse will i am and just about every celeb in everday life. you have to be one of the most stupid so called ”celebs” if you wanna call yourself that - that i have ever regreted coming accross. your pathedic yes you are - and i hope you get sued by will i am for slander - get a life grow up and remember that your words were im a big boy i can dish it out and take it !!! your such a fool



  96. 196

    take care of yourself Perez! Dude, you're doing good, you must have a good mom. generosity and humility- as emotional as its been, you're doing good!



  97. 197

    I stood by you after you released your initial statement and if it's possible, I stand by you even more now. I have a new found respect for you Perez. Keep it up and stay strong! Canada loves you!!



  98. 198

    ok,despite how much I like your site,but for the last few days got me confused by you as a gay man,speak out the most hurtful word ever.but you are sorry now is ok.we learn from our own mistake.



  99. 199

    B.S. as in BullShiz!!!!!!! phphony u will pocket some of that change
    if u were such a good samaritan u would donate money to the foundation from YOUR own pocket not someone elses!!!!!!!!!!!!! loser hopefully ur little blogging minutes of fame r up soon

  100. party says – reply to this


    200

    Re: J3N-J3N
    WHY
    DO
    YOU
    EVEN
    LOOK
    AT
    THIS
    SITE,
    AND
    ALL
    THE
    OTHERS
    LIKE
    YOU
    ???

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