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What Would Brian Boitano Make?!

| Filed under: TV NewsWacky, Tacky & True


From the looks of this photo, orange juice and cereal!!!!

Even we can do that!

Olympic figure skater Brian Boitano will star in a new daytime cooking show, What Would Brian Boitano Make?, on the Food Network.


“Brian's combination of off-the-wall humor and culinary inventiveness will be a revelation to viewers," says Bob Tuschman, Senior Vice President, Programming and Production for Food Network. “His clever recipes, infectious enthusiasm and stylish ideas will inspire and entertain."

We wish he'd skate around the kitchen too!!!

P.S. His Wikipedia makes no mention of him being gay.

Is Brian Boitano still in the closet????

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62 comments to “What Would Brian Boitano Make?!”

  1. 1

    He wakes up in the AM, then he "MAKES" his bed, then goes to the potty and "MAKES" a cute little poo, then goes to the rink and "MAKES" an axle, then comes home and "MAKES" dinner, then has his boyfriend over and "MAKES" him happy with a super duper blowjob.
    I might watch this.

  2. 2

    That is So PHAT!!!


  3. 3

    OHH HO HO!

  4. 4


  5. 5

    He's a figure skater. Need he really come out of a closet or anything else? The usual spandex leotard speaks for itself. :)

  6. 6

    Why does he have to be gay? Because hes a figure skater? Thats a stereotype Mario! You should know better!

  7. 7

    This is a play on words from the South Park episode, "What Would Brian Boitano Do?"

    How did you not mention that?!

  8. 8

    He'd do 2 salchow's and a triple lutz, thats what Brian Boitano would do

  9. 9

    I dont know. Try to open up the closet and see if hes still hiding in there. :0

  10. 10

    I'm pretty sure that those are berries, not cereal. Way to go, dumbass.

  11. 11

    HEY why did you take off the mj autopsy pic of his legs all fucked up?

    my space com s la sh atheistamber I saved it! you should put it back up

  12. 12

    thats not cereal you stupid ass. they are berries

  13. 13

    MJ PIC JESUS CHRIST MARIO PUT IT BACK UP!!! give us what we want

  14. 14

    those are raspberries.
    they come in yellow and red.

  15. 15

    That's not cereal. It's Red and Golden Raspberries.

  16. 16

    My dad refers to him as Brain "boy oh boy do I like boys" Boitano

  17. 17

    those are rasberries not cereal

  18. 18

    He definitely has "gayface" written all over him. :D . Haha to brainchild btw, that was a hilarious comment!

  19. 19

    Next fucktard!!!!!!!!!

  20. 20

    Cowgirl you beat me to it. Those are for sure berries.

  21. 21

    He's gonna make a plan, then follow through. That's what Brian Boitano'd do. Er. Make.

  22. 22

    What would Brian Boitano do
    If he was here right now,
    He'd make a plan
    And he'd follow through,
    That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

    When Brian Boitano was in the olympics,
    Skating for the gold,
    He did two Salchows and a triple lutz,
    While wearing a blind fold.

  23. 23

    Re: ThisIsWhyYourePhat.com
    nice 2/c U
    long time….

  24. 24

    When Brian Boitano was in the alps,
    Fighting grizzly bears,
    He used his magical fire breath,
    And saved the maidens fair.

    So what would Brian Boitano do
    If he were here today,
    I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
    That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

    I want this V-chip out of me,
    It has stunted my vo-ca-bu-lar-y.

    And I just want my mom
    To stop fighting everyone

    For Wendy I'll be an activist too,
    Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do.

    And what would Brian Boitano do,
    He'd call all the kids in town,
    And tell them to unite for true
    That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

    When Brian Boitano travelled through time
    To the year 3010,
    He fought the evil robot kings
    and saved the human race again

    And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,
    He beat up Kublai Kahn.

    Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-y-body

    So let's all get together,
    And unite to stop our mom's
    And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
    Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do.

    And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too,
    Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd dooooo,
    That's what Brian Boitano'd do.

  25. 25

    …Maybe his Wikipedia doesn't mention he is gay because he is not DEFINED by his sexuality. Being known as homosexual isn't the be all and end all for every gay person, you narrow-minded idiot. Perez, you do more harm to the gay community than good.

  26. PAH says – reply to this


    Why does he have to be gay? You think just because your gay every man in the free world has to… plus don't you have anything better to do then try and out every man has being gay!!! GET A FUCKING LIFE DOUCHE BAG!!!!!!!

  27. mog78 says – reply to this


    those are raspberries, not cereal. this does not torpedo your argument that the publicity still offers absolutely no proof of cooking skills. is that botox or just gayface?

  28. 28

    Those are berries, not cereal. No wonder you had so much trouble losing weight. WOW.

  29. 29

    First: "Brian Anthony Boitano (born October 22, 1963) is a gay American figure skater from Sunnyvale, California." You are either a jerk for adding this, or an oblivious idiot. Actually, you can be both.

    Second: Stop trying to out people. Not everyone is as self-important about their identity as you are. He's spent a hell of a lot longer time being WHATEVER he is, and it's not YOUR business.

  30. 30

    LOVE you Brian!!!!

  31. 31

    Not cereal… it's a bowl of raspberries! It's obviously a health food show.

  32. barb says – reply to this


    Get over it. so what if he is gay. Why does he have to tell the world? Just because you do. The world doesn't care who is gay or not. Why are you so hung up on coming out. We love Brian no matter what or who he is.

  33. 33

    Re: SWEETPIECE! – *high fives* sweetpiece. That was awesome.

  34. 34

    Uh. Those are red and golden raspberries!

    What kind of cereal do you eat?!

  35. 35

    jbman123 says – reply to this

    25…Maybe his Wikipedia doesn't mention he is gay because he is not DEFINED by his sexuality. Being known as homosexual isn't the be all and end all for every gay person, you narrow-minded idiot. Perez, you do more harm to the gay community than good


  36. 36

    Re: amalina

    Right on!

  37. AG420 says – reply to this


    for fuck sakes stop talking about outing people! did you ever consider that you might not be right about every single thing? people were very annoyed when you tried to out that american idol guy, and it feels like you just try to prove a point sometimes! leave people alone about their sexuality. you have no right to treat people like that. i used to think you were pretty damn cool and stood up for what was right, now i just think you are a fucking moron who let a small bit of fame go straight to his head!

  38. 38

    Shame on you Perez…bloggers such as yourself should recognize the obvious before typing up a fictitious-frenzy! Cereal? No bb, its rasberries! Lets say this together so that we get it right this time: raz-bear-eez.

  39. 39

    My Perezcious is not OBSESSED with outing people, he just has a highly developed sense of gaydar and exposes people for their OWN GOOD!

  40. 40

    Does Wikipedia qualify non-homosexuals as "straight"? I don't think so. Are you really so insecure and desperate that you can only identify with people based on their sexuality? You're such a bigoted moron. We should all be looking PAST people's race, sexual orientation, etc.

  41. 41

    Trey Parker and Matt Stone (creators of South Park and the reason for the title of this cooking show) should receive royalties from this!!!!

  42. 42

    Now Wikipedia should define who is straight and who it gay? Since when? Brian's claim to fame is his gold medal and his restaurant in San Francisco. The face that he is gay makes no difference to anyone. He lives with his boyfriend, they are happy, he made Olympic history and is a damn good cook. Stop making being gay so important. Everyone will be equal when being gay or straight is not a big deal.

  43. 43

    Cereal, Mario do you need glasses? Those are red and yellow raspberries.

    Also his claim to fame (other than his gold medal) is Italian cooking.

  44. 44

    I thought he'd have pansycakes for breakfast.

  45. 45

    Perez, do you put homo on your cereal?

  46. 46

    Gimme a break. What do you want him to do? Why is it so important that all gays go around announcing their sexual orientation? We heteros don't preface our introductions with it. Really don't get it, Mario.

  47. Mada says – reply to this


    Why does his Wikipedia have to mention that he's gay? I don't see other celebrities Wikipedia mentioning that they are straight.

  48. 48

    I got to see an episode of this show a few months back cause I'm a member of e-rewards. It was okay, but nothing special. I don't know if I'd watch it on a regular basis.

  49. 49

    my bio doesn't state I'm straight, so why should his state he's gay??

  50. 50

    You cannot blame my Perezcious for thinking that's a bowl of cereal as Froot Loops are his extra-special cheat food and he was just SALIVATING!

  51. 51

    none of your biz if he is gay or not fucktard

  52. 52

    I'm almost positive that when he was in skating he did say he was gay

  53. 53

    aren't those raspberries?

  54. 54

    Re: karencarpenter – I LOVE SOUTH PARK!

  55. 55

    Who gives a shit if his wiki page says he is gay or not? Just because that is the only redeeming thing to be said about you Perez, doesn't mean that Brian B hasn't accomplished other things worth mentioning. Whoever called you the Al Sharpton of the gays yesterday hit the nail right on the head.

  56. 56

    is the title "what would brian boitano make?" a twist on the south park song "what would brian boitano do??"

  57. 57

    That's Brian Girltano to you! And WTF happened to his face??? He's 45 years old! BAD BAD BAD face lift!

  58. 58

    brainchild kudos for getting to add ALL THAT and being first. but is that seriously San Fran in the background? and is he seriously in the closet? and is he seriously sitting in a breakfast nook? and is he seriously wearing the gayest shirt i have seen in a long ass while?

  59. 59

    Brian Boitano has never said he was gay like Rudy Galindo or anyone. Maybe he just doesn't think it's necessary to discuss for his career like others who have nothing else going on so they have to "come out" so they're on the newsstands again.

  60. 60

    looks like raspberries (regular and golden) in a bowl to me. but i'm sure you'd have a comment in response to that.

  61. 61

    MaggyMay I would like to thank you for your comment!
    You couldn't be more right!

  62. 62

    what a stupid p.s. remark *rolls eyes* … most peoples wikipedia entrys make no mention of their sexual preference