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Lily Allen + Motherhood = Disaster!!!

| Filed under: AnglophiliaLily Allen


When the gig is up for Lily Allen, it's off to suburban life for this Brit and boy, do we pity the poor sap who marries this trainwreck.

While performing at the V festival this past weekend, Lily admitted that she is already looking forward towards the end of her career, as she plans to retire at 25. And she has big plans for her future: "I just hope I can stay famous enough for a little bit so someone rich will marry me."

Yes, because we hear a lot of rich bachelors are keen to bring a hot mess like you to meet their mum.

And speaking of mums, that'll be phase two of life out of the biz for Silly Allen: children!

“I have every intention of becoming a suburban mum," says Lushy. "I want to get married and have children…I'd like to live in the country and have a walled garden, and chickens and pigs."

Bad idea! BAD IDEA!

We foresee the afternoon that Lily gets so drunk, she confuses the playpen for the pig pen and her baby has to waddle in mud for hours before someone notices!

Can't you stick to intoxication instead of moving on to procreation? It's what you know best!

[Image via WENN.]

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171 comments to “Lily Allen + Motherhood = Disaster!!!”

More comments: [1] 2 »

  1. 1

    I hate her more than words can express. Can't sing, can't act, thinks she's some kind of amazing celeb. Just a junkie with a black credit card.

  2. 2

    perez you are a loser

    this story was on thelimegreenscream yesterday

    they're beating you to the punch and they're new

    ha ha

    BTW, I think Lily Allen would be a good mother. She has a good heart, which is most important.

  3. 3

    wouldn't you also be slating her if she said she wanted to perform forever? Do you plan to sit blogging in your underpants for the rest of your life? Or maybe you hoping some rich guy will marry you?

  4. 4


  5. 5

    She had a miscarriage not so long ago you insensitive cocksucker

  6. 6

    You're too chicken to post my comment, aren't you? YOU MOCKED HER MISCARRIAGE. YOU ARE PURE FILTH.

  7. 7

    this is ridiculous.

  8. 8

    This is way out of line. You don't do this to someone who has had a miscarriage in the past. You just don't.

  9. 9

    Leave lilly alone man. At least she is not a pretentious twit like katy fatty.

  10. 10

    sometimes what i read on here is harsh, and i love you for it, but usually it doesn't sound like it would upset anyone, or they deserved it, but this is awful after what lily's been through… you've taken this TOO far!

  11. 11

    Because being a mom is a lot easier than a drunked celebrity. I think she will change her mind when she pops out a kid and it won't stop crying.. Kerry Katona will probably agree with her and give her parental advice.

  12. 12

    Are you KIDDING ME. making *bad mum* jokes at someone who suffered a public and devastating miscarriage? SCUM

  13. 13

    What a nasty man you are! your article isn't even funny. There is not one good line in there. You're a pig and you can't treat people like this. It's internet bullying, non-famous people don't put up with it and have people like you fined. I don't understand how you get away with it and are supposedly making money this way. Absolutely ridiculous.

  14. 14

    thats so out of order what your saying do you ever even think about how hurtful saying something like that can be? fair enough if you dont like her as an artist but dont make such disgusting personal comments im still in shock that you could say something so horrible to another person

  15. 15

    I kind of understand your point of view but I personally think Lily Allen's a smart and warm person, who would make an excellent mother.

  16. 16


  17. 17

    I think this is really harsh - considering she lost a baby last year.

    Cut her some slack - she is good at what she does, and if she hopes to become a mother, let her.

  18. 18

    bit harsh perez - didn't she lose a baby this year?

  19. 319 says – reply to this


    well, i don't know her, but i think i can tell that the fact she is saying she wants to be famous so a rich guy marry her, is a joke.

    besides, i remember lily, since she started her career, saying she wanted to marry and have children. actually, she says that in many many interviews since 2007. i've never heard her saying she wanted to be a popstar forever.

    i think she is a good person and, although she's being all that "hot mess", like you call her, she will be a good mother and i'll be very sad if she ends up with her career, ’cause her music is very good. and no one can deny it.

  20. 20

    you're an evil little piece of shit Mario!
    Lily is worth more than you could ever dream of,
    who the fuck made you famous you fat backstabbing
    little man. drop dead you fucking scum!

  21. 21

    parez, i hope YOU retire you stupid loser. shes more that twice the human you could ever be. do you even know what shes been through? other posters have said so just read them.

  22. 22

    She's no different than any other celeb out there… they all do cocaine. ALL of them.

  23. 23

    And you think you're much better? I'd rather you disappeared than her, at least she's famous for something, and her music is really good. Look at the mess of you. I think she'd make a great mother once the situation arises, so what if she's having fun, she's young! When you're that age you'll still be sat on your little computer commenting on everyone else's lives, I think she has the better end of the deal!

  24. 24


  25. 25

    Sort your own life out first before slating others!

  26. 26

    Perez you are nothing but a sad individual who likes to pick on people with actual talent!! Lily Allen is a young woman enjoying her life, how dare you imply that she not make a good mother! She'll make a better parent than you ever will, at least she earns an honest living instead of making fun of others peoples misfortunes and pain. Grow up, get a life and leave the talented alone!

  27. 27

    i actually hurled into my manbag

  28. 28

    can you hurry up & retire soon? haven't you twigged on to the fact that people are only signing up to your site now to show their utter disgust & hate towards you? you should probably take the hint, pathetic waster.

  29. 29

    right, you fucking fat shit head. lily had a fucking miscarrage now you mock her for it. You are a sad pointless loser who has no life and makes up shit. fatty twat! Lily would be an amazing mum so fuck you

  30. 30

    Dude, if you had a real career, you wouldn't need to talk trash about other people's life. Get a life loser!

  31. 31

    So she has a miscarriage and you turn around and mock her?
    And you expected all that sympathy when you got "beaten up"
    Perez get a life you jerk.

  32. 32

    you're such an insecure dick head Perez. Who the hell would ever want to marry you! Good Luck losing the extra 100lbs you're carrying fat c**t

  33. AntUK says – reply to this


    Lily Allen has a reason for being famous. She has a talent. Why is Perez Hilton known on the net? Because he attempts to rile as many actual celebs as possible and occasionally they bite back. It's not because he has anything remotely intelligent or insightful to share. So yea, once you've survived a few more smacks from celebs you've pissed off let us know how it all works out for you.

    Anyway, check out Lily Allen on Youtube for those not familiar with her. Took me a while to warm to her music but the last album is 10/10. She's also genuine too. Compare that with Lada Gaga's cloud nine bullshit on Ross's show.

  34. you says – reply to this


    You are a DICK!!!! Jealousy is an evil thing…maybe show some of your talents??? Ahhh btw blogging is NOT one them!
    Get a life Mr Perez!

  35. 35

    Well, aren't you a spiteful twat?

    Are you jealous that someone famous might have a shred of perspective and intelligence and not just a constant lusting after fame rather than being a hateful, vindictive and immature minor celebrity?

    This is way out of line. Apology in order, and fast.

  36. 36

    OMG perez that is realy harsh , i h8t you!
    u need to stop with the hating.
    u need 2 grow up.
    at least people like her , wt can we say for you nerli every 1 hates you!
    Is this supposed 2 b funny coz its quite the opposite
    ur heart less!

  37. 37

    you're dumb big asshole PEREK

  38. 38

    just brcause yourr mothr did that to you ( among other things ) doesn't mean that every woman will act like that…stop using your pathetic life to peen on others….no wonder you are a woman hater………

  39. 39

    perez, you're PATHETIC

  40. 40

    I really can't understand why do you hate Lily so much… She's such a outspoken person with an amazing personality. She's doing what every 24 year old chicks do and you only say nasty things about her… what's your problem with young women that enjoy their lives?! Get a life please!

  41. 41

    The lawsuit to end all lawsuits is coming your way Mario.Forget about hiding behind some amendment.Everbody from Lily to Avril to half of the entertainment industry are going to bury your disgusting ass.

  42. 42

    you are such an insensitive bastard! What do you contribute to the human race? Your piece of shit concert tour or your repulsively self absorbed t shirts and constant self promoting posts? Why not do something positive? it seems like everything you say and do stems from greed and hate. Disgusting!!!

  43. 43

    Hey fatty,

    You seem kind of superfluous to life on earth. Lilly is out there being creative, and is a likable person from what I've seen. I understand that your existence is based on a parasitic relationship with successful people, but perhaps you could do a community college course, and channel your energies into something less toxic. Alternatively, maybe you could choke on a c**k and give back your oxygen allowance which could sustain at least 10 Chinese children judging by your girth.

    Love and kisses, Straight Bob

  44. 44

    Like she sings 'Fuck you, fuck you very, very much, Cause we hate what you do and we hate your whole crew'

  45. 45


  46. 46

    Why do you always pick on the smart, talented female celebrities Perez? sure, She may not be beautiful like Katy hudson err.. I mean Perry, But at least she can sing and sings about real issues of today alot of the time.
    She even has a video clip for her song 'fuck you' which she says people who discriminate against anyone are evil… You're fucking discriminating against alot of female celebrities you hound.

  47. 47

    all you do is slag people off
    'Hey my name is perez. and im a fat shit. Nobody likes me so i should just fuck off'

  48. 48

    you lot are nasty people. Lily Allen is mint!!

  49. 49

    Perez you're wasting your time trying to trash her : we love her much more than we love you !

  50. 50

    Tut tut tut - you fat, queer sicko!

  51. AntUK says – reply to this


    I wonder which is the most hated man on the net right now. Perez Hilton or "Lady" Gaga.

  52. 52

    You are such a dickhead. How about you get of your fat ass & get a propper job? I dont know how you have the right to diss anybody when you look like yourself :) I dont care that your famous, or have money, because that dont mean nothing, because you are still a nobody

  53. 53

    I just created a nickname to comment on this. Absolutely disgraceful. She is a lovely human being who does not deserve to have things like this written about her for no apparent reason. It is highly insensitive considering the timing, but regardless, I am disappointed Perez.

  54. 54

    What a nasty, spiteful little bully you are. Miss Allen lost a child earlier this year. Do you think it ios right to comment in this way and intrude on a young woman's grief. What ever your personal views are, you should keep such cruelty to yourself. This was as despicable a posting as I have seen. You should hang your head in shame. What would your mother or grandmother say? You need to apologise today

  55. 55

    You're such a douche, come on, Who Cares? She lives her life whatever she wants, and you have nothing to say about it.
    You have such a miserable life. your job is to react about what famous people do. And your life, Who is intrested by your life?? we don't give a fuck about you!

  56. 56

    I Love Lily! She can adopte me! :D :D:D

  57. 57

    I didnt you think could stoop much lower than your usual bullshit you absolute wannabe twat! just because your life is so messed up the only thing you can be bothered to do is play with other, much more successful peoples that are actually liked. Imagine if that was you and somebody said that. You fucking cried like a child when someone hit you in the eye, which you deserved in the first place! the worst thing is, she had a fucking miscarriage you selfish idiot! There was no need for you to say this at all. i hope there is a god, so that he makes sure you go to fucking hell.

  58. 58

    You dick. Lilly is just enjoying herself. I'd happily marry her - she's stunning, talented and a great laugh - everything it appears you are not!

  59. 59

    She should have spoken out for gay marriage during the whole Carrie Prejean nonsense - so Mario would quit ragging on her so relentlessly. Amazing how one text message in support of gay marriage turned "Slutty" back into Miley. Too bad Lily Allen and Rumer Willis didn't jump on Mario's big gay marriage bandwagon. They could have saved themselves a lot of public ridicule.

  60. 60

    Ok You insensitive prick…she recently had a misscarrage and you say this? Wow way to go. I hope you can live with yourself because honestly this world would be a better place without people like you here. You are the lowest scum of the earth. In fact you are lower than that, you are worthless. Lily Allen will make a good mom. At least she makes a decent living and works hard, unlike you. You are a filthy coward.

  61. koe says – reply to this


    In interviews I've heard on the radio Lily has always said she didn't want to be in hte music industry for long and has always expressed a wish for a family.

  62. 62

    Being a man you will never have to suffer the pain and distress of a miscarriage and I hope you never get close. It is a special kind of pain that never really goes away and it can be *years* till you can deal with it, sometimes you never do. To have someone laugh about what a bad mum you'd be only a year after it had happened is a horrible experience and you should be ashamed to cause this pain to another human being.

  63. 63

    You are vile.

  64. 64

    you are such a sad ugly fat pig. No one cares about your stupid website.get a life and move on. stop hating on people just because you've never been liked.

  65. 65

    Perez = douchebag.

  66. 66

    you ae just flat out EVIL. I will enjoy watching when the next person beats you to a pulp. I don't say that lightly, have been abused myself, but you completely deserve all that is coming your way, the downward spiral, bankruptcy, your surgey not working, your face being smashed in, all of it. Evil evil filth you are.

  67. 67

    I think someone should get you in a warehouse, bind you and beat the living crap out of you. Just pointing that out in case Lily and her mates (and she has quite a few) are running short of ideas

  68. 68

    HAHAHA, i love how these people love perez when he insults a celebrity they dislike, but when it comes to someone they happen to like, they get all moody about it. deal with it, this is what perez does. who cares?

  69. 69

    wow. you're a complete douchebag.

  70. 70

    Re: littlebit – Well she's not pretty, she's not talented, I've yet to hear a song of hers on the radio in my country.. She's a drunken mess and poor excuse for a woman.. I'd never respect this chick.. Ppl hate on Rihanna and Gaga but do you ever see them stumbling out of clubs with cig's in their hands? no.. She is a no one.. She has contributed nothing to the music world..

  71. 71

    Get a proper job Perez. you coward.

  72. 72

    Ugh, you are a prick Perez. Are you just jealous that Lily has talent and you have none whatsoever?

  73. 73

    Why is wanting to become a full time "mum" a bad idea? I'm sure the short time she's spent in the spotlight feels like an eternity considering all of the bs she has to deal with. I love how outspoken Lily is and I hope she finds motherhood fulfilling.

  74. 74

    You are a stupid prick aren't you, it's obvious everyone ripped the piss out of you at school and I bet you cried like a little bitch! You now make your 'living' from bullying people! You are a fat piece of shit and I mean fat, you need to cut down on the starbucks!! I hope the next time you run into the black eyed peas they'll be in a truck and you'll be crossing the street you insensitive fat c**t!!!

  75. 75

    Dude your a twat.
    Lilly Allen is a really talented and successful artist.
    Grow some bollocks man, insensitive prick.
    I for one think that Lily Allen would make an awesome mum.

    P.S. She also has a reputable job, if this is all you do you need to fucking grow a pair.

  76. 76

    I completely disagree, you insensative piece of shit! It's people like you who make people commit suicide because you think you are better than them, well guess what, YOU'RE NOT! I'm 13 you mother fucking bastard, and I have never met a more evil shit head than you. I hope you get testicular cancer you wanker because then, and only then will you know what not being able to have kids is like!!!.x

  77. 77

    i read your website each day and find most of the stuff kind of harmless but how do you know a member of your family has not gone through this? would you be so quick to quip about their ability to be a mother if you knew they had miscarried a child….would you joke about something like homophobia related physical abuse would you mock someones masculinity if they were assaulted for being homosexual? do the right thing withdraw the post apologise learn when you've crossed the line

  78. 78

    Fuck off. I love her.

  79. 79

    I've only registered on your appalling pink website to comment upon this blog entry. Leave Lily Allen alone you vile unimportant arrogant toss wazzock!!

  80. 80

    It's shit like this that got you punched in the face by the BEP entourage. I don't support violence, but you don't learn, do you?

  81. 81

    You are one disgusting human being. I hope you look back when you are old and realise what an insensitive pig you are and I hope you regret everything you have ever done.
    Lady GaGa smokes, but i suppose if she said she wanted a child you would be supporting the whore.
    Brad Pitt also smokes cannabis and wants to make it legal, and you thought that this was a wonderful idea.
    You are the biggest hypocrite I have ever come across.
    You are a joke.

  82. 82

    celebritys are people too you know ! they have feelings just like the rest of us
    and i think this is really harsh
    i think shes a great singer and if she wants to be a mother then i think she would be wonderfull !
    ive only signed up today just to say how mean i think this is..
    if she wants to retire at 25, let her
    if she wants to marry, let her
    if she wants to be a mother, let her !
    you wouldnt be doing this if it was your mother, or sister or daughter or whatever
    my point is, your wouldnt like it if somebody said all that about you or somebody close to you,
    so next time just consider somebody elses feelings, cos lily allen has ctually read this !

  83. 83

    Very rude Perez, nothing nice, i love Lilly!…bad for you!

  84. 84

    WOW Perez. You should be ashamed - truly. Speaking as a woman this posting is truly horrible to Lily. I don't care if she is a celeb or not. She has lost a baby not so long ago. Also to mock someone's hopes for a family is unacceptable. She is probably really hurt, I would be. I honestly think as a human being you should contact her and apologise. Both privately & on this site.

  85. 85

    Re: BeautifulBrunnette69 – Just because an artist isn't big in your country, doesn't mean they aren't big, what you just said is really conceited and pretentious.

    Also, there ARE photos of Rihanna and Lady GaGa stumbling out of clubs, heck, there are even photos of GaGa so messed up she lets another girl finger her, but alas this is before she became a huge hit.

    Finally, She is only 23 and definitely aloud to have fun and party-harty while she can, Honestly just because someone parties is not a feasonable reason to say they will be a bad mother at all, infact it's judgmental and pathetic.

  86. 86

    2 far m8

  87. 87

    Shut it c0cksucker… At least she can procreate. All you can do is take d1ck in the ass

  88. 88

    Lily is amazing!So talented and fashionable and nice.
    But,the main point here is that she had a miscarriage and you mocked her for it.How dare you?
    I really have nothing more to say on that.

  89. 89

    perez, you're disgusting! at this point, I think you are just hoping you'll get comments telling you that because it still means someone comes here. cause let's face it… everybody here HATES you for saying stuff like that. And if Angelina Jolie, who used to be a heroin addicted can be a good mom ANYONE can, don't you think? go eff yourself, loser.

  90. 90

    fucking asshole. fuck you

  91. 91



  92. 92

    She was getting ready to settle with that dj man, and after a few months she became pregnant, and she proper calmed down a lot. Then she had a miscarriage, AND they broke up afterwards.
    I love you perez, but seriously, you have to ackowledge that she isn't as terrible as she used to be. Plus she's young - not even 25! - she can get drunk/wasted/generally off her face every now and then.

  93. 93

    You Overweight, pathetic Loser.
    NEVER visit the UK. You're not welcome.

  94. IV says – reply to this


    You should be ashamed of yourself.
    This is so cheap, Perez Hilton.

  95. 95

    Hate to remind you, Perez, but Lily Allen is not the only person to have kids that NEVER SHOULD.
    This site is jammed with feuding parents who hate on their exes, and trash their babydaddy or babymomma. Seems to be a disgusting trend!

  96. 96

    perez u seriously are a twat…u do know she miscarried??!
    how fucking insensitive can u be

  97. 97

    Sweet, is she smoking a joint!?

  98. 98

    Re: BeautifulBrunnette69

    For a start, no one asked you to respect her and I'm sure Lily doesn't give a shit about your lack of respect anyway.
    Also how can you say "She has contributed nothing to the music world.."? her first album sold over 960,000 copies in the United Kingdom and 520,000 copies in the United States. As well as that she has won many major musical awards and has had many top 10 singles in the UK (possibly US also). Personally, I think she has had an influence within the musical world and contributed a lot. Your statement is invalid (:

  99. 99

    Your such an attention whore, Im not a fan of Lilly, but this is too much.
    It amazes me, being a homosexual you should know better than to judge people on there lifestyles, I dont doubt for a second if someone put you down for your life style choices that you would feel very offended, and to top it off you have to comment on her family aspirations when shes had such a public miscarriage.
    You and your family should be truly ashamed by your actions.
    P.S I know you visit the UK every now and then, I sugest you now do so with some burly bodyguards, This isnt a threat, internet threats are pointless, but there are going to be a lot of disgusted people out there equaly sickend y your words, just waiting, I hope it was worth it for a few extra hits.

  100. 100

    And you all bitch about these people being picked on. You're all doing the same thing Perez does, just to someone else. He makes fun of celebrities, and you all make fun of him. If anything, from what I'm reading. You're all worse. You guys say some heartless mean things. You're 2 peas in a pod. You don't like what he says, don't go to his site. SIMPLE ENOUGH.

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