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Osama Bin Laden Obsessed With Whitney Houston?!

| Filed under: Wacky, Tacky & TrueBobby BrownWhitney Houston

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Relax, CIA!

We know how to find Osama bin Laden!

Play the Waiting to Exhale soundtrack and he'll come running!

According to Sudanese novelist Kola Boof, even though Osama bin Laden frowns on music, he's obsessed with diva Whitney Houston!

In her autobiography Diary of a Lost Girl, Boof documents her experience being held captive in a Moroccan hotel and forced to be Laden's sex slave for four months 10 years ago.

She writes:

"He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."

"Osama kept coming back to Whitney Houston. He asked if I knew her personally when I lived in America. I told him I didn't. He said that he had a paramount desire for Whitney Houston, and although he claimed music was evil he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting with the superstar. It didn't seem impossible to me. He said he wanted to give Whitney Houston a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum."

"He explained to me that to possess Whitney he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives. Whitney Houston's name was the one that would be mention constantly. How beautiful she was, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women's husbands killed."

"In his briefcase I would come across photographs of the Star magazine, as well as copies of Playboy."

Damn you, Western culture!

She even claims that the terrorist's favorite TV shows were The Wonder Years, Miami Vice and MacGyver.

The idea of him watching Kevin Arnold brings the LOLs!

But, it also explains why we couldn't find him in the mountains of Afghanistan. He got tricky watching all those MacGyver episodes!

[Image via AP Images.]

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70 comments to “Osama Bin Laden Obsessed With Whitney Houston?!”



  1. 1

    Damn if I were Whitney I'd be seriously creeped out!



  2. 2

    Thats some fucked up shit.



  3. 3

    That would freak me out just a bit if I were Whit…I mean damn nobody knows where the dude is, what if he's renting a house in her neighborhood???



  4. 4

    nothings funny when it comes to osama bin laden. shame on you mario



  5. 5

    Miami Vice LOL



  6. 6

    if he wasn't such a creepy asshole, this would be cute… sorta.



  7. 7

    This news is as old as the hunt for Osama, you fatass idiot. Get with some current news!!!



  8. 8

    ….

    0.o



  9. 9

    Gosh i havnt been on here for a long time.. BUT OMG THATS KINDA STALKERISH…. and i wonder what whitney thinks of this..i think its funny but hes like really serious about this which is creepy**



  10. 10

    Re: RobPnMeShouldB – hey… nothing is funny? did you see his face?



  11. 11

    Old news…



  12. 12

    THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! I am just imagining him sitting on like a worn couch laughing at the wonder years hahaha



  13. 13

    ohh yeahh just what every girl wants/dreams of… osama bin laden to be obsssesed w/ them. HA. this is sooo creepy. i like feel badd for whitney houston. awww poor women.



  14. 14

    If you're crazy and you know it clap your hands…



  15. 15

    FATBOY THIS IS OLD FREAKIN NEWS. STOP HIDING YOUR HEAD IN SOMEONE'S HOMO ASS AND YOU MIGHT REALIZE THIS IS SOME 3 YRS AGO. OHH DID YOU MISS UR TORONTO COURT DATE? BOOM BOOM POW!!



  16. 16




    I'm trying to imagine Osama watching The Wonder Years and failing.
    Maybe it's just me…



  17. 17

    Who doesn't want to be inlove with the DIVA. I just love her to bits…………



  18. 18

    Bit behind the times Perez, this was in the British press years ago.



  19. 19

    Re: JAYQUE – I've now got the best image of Osama Bin Laden watching and laughing along to The Wonder Years… And buying copies of the DVD's. The look on the cashier's face would be priceless.

    However, I do find the fact he reads Playboy kinda really strange and creepy… Whitney Housten should have FBI agents with her at all times.

  20. Unari says – reply to this


    20

    Uh, Perez. This shit is like four years old dude. Get with it.



  21. 21

    This is a REALLY old story Perez!



  22. 22

    Re: JigSaw – okay okay….sorry, so that is….must be the hostility i feel for pigboy!!! :) on the other hand, morning!



  23. 23

    haha ~~



  24. 24

    yeah man this shit is years old

  25. YUCK says – reply to this


    25

    damn now this is really a couple of years old, you are slacking pig vomit.



  26. 26

    That is really interesting



  27. 27

    THANKS FOR THE VERY OLD NEWS.



  28. 28

    THIS HAS BEEN REPORTED SINCE 2006, STUPID!



  29. 29

    ummm… this is so fucking old!



  30. 30

    I think they make a cute couple! lol! Look at them! Aww! Make the wedding arrangements, these 2 are meant for each other! Look out Bobby, there's a new man in town, and he swept ur woman off her feet with a mansion! Lmao! What was he thinking?! As if, she wouldn't look at him for all of 2 seconds, and in that 2 seconds, she'd be terrified that he'd kill her.. lol

  31. koe says – reply to this


    31

    Well who doesn't like the wonder years?
    Strange trying to imagine him watching it though…



  32. 32

    this is really old news



  33. 33

    maybe O'Day will call him Brilliant



  34. 34

    He wanted to OFF Bobby Brown? He's not really as crazy as I thought he was. I know lots of people who wouldn't mind that.



  35. 35

    ok not only is this old news..but its not even true
    i don't believe any of those girls claims…
    and bin laden probably doesn't have a briefcase, a sex slave or a playboy magazine…what a bunch of BS!

  36. YUCK says – reply to this


    36

    mc gyver was a hell of a show.



  37. 37

    Re: cat1329 – You know it!I'll bet he has her issue of Playboy.I'll even bet both Osama and Aubrey tweet Ashton Kutcher.



  38. 38

    This is old news. I heard about this at least 5 years ago.



  39. 39

    Damn. IF that were me.. i'd be so fucking scared



  40. 40

    i think she just doubled up her security after hearing this!



  41. 41

    OOOOO!!lucky girl!!!



  42. 42

    Re: RedWingsFan – lol!!its probabley getting a little crusy by now!!hehhehhehehe!!!



  43. 43

    Perhaps he could give croaky old Whitney singing lessons?



  44. 44

    Gotta love these extremists! To add her as one of his wives? ROFL!
    Pulease… that diva dont come second to nobody, i assure you! Although you might convince her with money, but then again, you dont want her to have access to too much… or you'll wind up with a cracked out crazy diva… lol

    And WTF is up with "to possess her"??? You gonna polish that brand new toy too? asshole!

    That is what happens when you cover up people and shut down all that is tempting, you create dillusional perverts such as this one…

    Let him find Whitney, let them marry, let her fall back into her old ways and hang him by the balls, like he deserves.



  45. 45

    Welcome to 1999, dumbass. I hope you get the plutonium for your flux capacitor so you can get back to 2009.



  46. 46

    Gee, what a shock that a religeous fanatic is a hypocrite and a racist.



  47. 47

    Re: justamemory**** – You said "ok not only is this old news..but its not even true
    i don't believe any of those girls claims…
    and bin laden probably doesn't have a briefcase, a sex slave or a playboy magazine…what a bunch of BS! "
    ______________________________________

    Oh yeah, because he's proven over the years that he's all for women's rights and such a great guy. Sheesh, what a fool you are.



  48. 48

    Do one for the country Whit!



  49. 49

    Most powerful men brought down by a little p u s s y.



  50. 50

    This is such old news…. but I do find it hilarious that this woman was digging through Osama Bin Ladens briefcase and leafing through his mags… lol …for some reason it makes him seem a little less ominous and more like a common loser….



  51. 51

    This 'news' was reported years ago.



  52. 52

    HA I LOVE THIS BLOG TO FUKN FUNNY.

  53. MP says – reply to this


    53

    Typical Muslim hypocrite, spouts off about his religion, while secretly reading Playboy.



  54. 54

    WHERE DO YOU GET YOUR NEWS FROM, THE ARCHIVE SECTION OF THE LIBRARY. THIS IS YEARS OLD FAT BOY!



  55. 55

    Has he seen her lately? Might change his mind.



  56. 56

    Re: perez is a fat douche – hahaha lmfao



  57. 57

    Yea, if I was a terrorist I'd fantasize about 90s pop singers. What a fucking creeeeeperr!



  58. 58

    Well he has good taste in women! Whitney Houston IS one of the most beautiful women in the world. Especially back in her peak. Her beauty is amazing. The greatest female singer and one of the most beautiful women. She really was blessed!!!!



  59. 59

    this is kind of funny lol…sucks to be whitney though i'd be creeped the fuck out



  60. 60

    OLD NEWS



  61. 61

    I call BS!



  62. 62

    he's gross



  63. 63

    Whitney + Osama = music to soothe the savage beast

    So if we just blast the mountains in Afghanistan with Whitney's music will it make him surface?



  64. 64

    …Holy fuck…



  65. 65

    um okay thats creepy, i feel sry for poor whitney, but it just goes 2 show ya how women can bring men down to their knees. i giggled a bit about the fact that he watches wonder years! hehehe



  66. 66

    This news is about 10 YEARS OLD!!!

    Glad to see you're really up on things.

  67. @v@ says – reply to this


    67

    All that money spent hunting him, and he's been hiding out at Winnie Cooper's house the whole time!
    Why doesn't Whitney look like herself anymore? Has she had her freaking upper lip pumped up?



  68. 68

    How ironic that you're admonishing Aubrey O'Day while making jokes about Osama Bin Laden.



  69. 69

    um… still not okay to make Osama jokes. FAIL!



  70. 70

    umm, i hope this isn't true because if it was, he's probably torturing some other poor woman as we speak.
    BUT apart from that part of the story - how loltastic! it's such a believable story somehow isn't it? what a creepy, hypocritical, stupid, pathetic, deluded, sad little man.