Carrie Fisher Provides Wisdom & Learns Not To Google Yourself
Princess Leia is pissed! People are calling her names and she is calling them out. Carrie Fisher took to her all too unfrequented blog to discuss something she found appalling - herself!
She broke a sacred rule of celebrity that states you should never Goggle yourself unless you want your self esteem to plummet. Nevertheless, Carrie did and what she read prompted this blog post, which we think just happens to be HIGHalrious:
Weight AND Wisdom!
I thought that I’d forgotten one of the things I was thinking of writing about, but now I remember………at least I think I do…… One thing is that I foolishly Googled myself last nite—–because the Enquirer has been trying to get me to confirm some asinine thing I said as a bad joke AGES ago, & I wanted to see if had shown up somewhere—- which it hadn’t—– until now, when I stupidly call attention to this non event here——- ANYWAY—–in the process of searching, I found that someone had posted that I USED to be hot, but that now I looked like Elton John. As much as I attempted to place myself above the reach of this observation……
I must admit that…..yup……. This ended up hurting my feelings—–all 7 of them.
You see, I was hot when most people are hot—- in my fucking 20’s & part of my 30’s……THEN, in an effort to imitate humans, I had a child &, to further maintain my life like disguise, I took medications for about 9 thousand years, &, despite all my efforts, I continued to get older & older——inadvertently, I assure you———-I tried to arrest my development physically as WELL as emotionally, but unfortunately without as much success. I also must confess that I ate food. I’m sorry….. I realize that I promised never to eat anything but lettuce & sun flower seeds, but tragically, I was unable to keep my promise.
Yes, I realize…..I KNOW that I vowed to exercise for 3 hours a day—-aerobics, pilates AND yoga, but alas, I admit with a large quota of shame, that I failed to fulfill this other important commitment.
NO, I shouldn’t look as if 30 years have passed. I understand completely if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive me for looking like 3 decades have passed…….Of COURSE you should mock & belittle me for being so large!! What else could you POSSIBLY do?????!? I’ve let you down by treating my body as though it were just some giant sad sack that I use to haul my personality around. You have every right to compare me to Yoda or Elton or Kirstie…….I’ve brought it on myself.
But here’s this thing that I found myself wondering………what the fuck do YOU look like??!
I know i don’t really have the right to ask……I’m a public figure——Ive made an unspoken contract to keep that figure slim…….but still, I find myself wondering…….See, I think the folks that insult & mock celebrities who DARE to pack on ten pounds or—–God forbid——MORE than ten!…..I would think it only fair that they post a photo of themselves along with their poisonous observations! And you know what else would be SUPER cool??? Their IQ! ALL the numbers! An approximate count of Weight AND wisdom!
And as a teeny aside—–my show on Broadway is not about my appearance. Oh sure, I’m killing myself trying to lose weight before I open so I won’t offend any theater goers eyes while attempting to entertain them via their ears…… But just in case I don’t achieve my goal of keeping my promise to look 25 & instead manage to remind you of bulbous slugs or gay, iconic musicians……..
I’d like to take this opportunity to offer this quasi poignant explanation & to say to those of you I’ve visually offended…… from the bottom of my heart encased in fat——-
BLOW MY BIG BOVINE tiny dancer COCK!
We now return to our regular programing……
XxOoCf
What a send-off at the end there! And way to go plugging your Broadway show right in the middle of your angry rant. Very classy!
Thoughts?
[Image via WENN.]
The Wolves And Vamps Unite!!!
You will be hot forever.
GO CARRIE!! YOU'RE AWESOME AND I APPRECIATE YOU!
Go Carrie Fisher!
That was hilarious! Weight & Wisdom points, lmao— very true, I agree!
Ha! I love it. She's my new hero and BFF.
i am from chicago and im gonna start a magazine that is gonna follow the papps around and take pics of there ugly houses and snap pics of there ugly wifes in a store a publicly humiliate them just for a 1 year project ! will people buy these magazines for a good laugh?
she is friggen awesome, and good for her! ya know anyone who is her age or was alive when the original star wars came out looks like crap compared to her anyway. screw the haters! i am surprised at how much she used the word fuck tho lol
I freakin love her! Everyone must either read her book "Wishful Drinking" or see her live show. I read the book and loved it! She is so hysterical and witty!
I QUESS SHE TOLD YOU BITCHES……SHE SHOULD BE THE NEXT QUEST ON THAT NEW KATE GOSSLIN SHOW…..I LIKE HER…
Re: Canadiana* – UMMM SOUNDS YUMMY…LOSER
I fucking LOVE HER!!!!
She is so fucking awesome.
RIGHT ON CARRIE. Bravo…beautifully said. LOVE YA.
Good for her
Ha. Good for her. Kudos Carrie.
SHE'S TALKING TO those who look like Perez and dare to make cruel remarks about other's weight.
Amen, sister!
BLOW MY BIG BOVINE tiny dancer COCK!
ROFL
Oh Carrie… always cynical. I'm the same age as you, had a kid at 39.. and I'm a size 4-6, and feel fat. You have more money than I ever will, your sobriety date and mine initially were the same.. I was there with you. I hope you are well.. but girl.. just bitching about it is unhealthy… you can afford a personal trainer, chef, all those celebrity luxuries…
Be a parent.. but one your kid can be proud of for even trying to improve herself at 50. I know you are capable of being great more than just your 20s & 30's… You are Debbie Reynolds daughter… you are a Princess on a lot of levels. Get it together girl, just being strong verbally isn't enough anymore.
Regards.
Carrie Fisher: she's no fool…she's fabu, sassy and cool. Who needs the losers who the needs freaks…? Those mean to Carrie — are clearly geeks. She speaks her mind — and she's not shy — the force is with her and so am I….!!
Awsome!!! Best rant/blog in a while!!!! Hello time and gravity work everywhere, hollywood included. They just have more time and money to foolishly attempt to keep it at bay.
Good luck losing that weight, Princess!
Ya gotta love this person for telling just how she thinks and feels! She is a class act and she is honest…..TELL IT LIKE IT IS!
you go ms crenshaw
Good for her, it's about time celebrities started standing up and defending themselves against the critisism of their bodies. As long as their talent remains intact and they are physically able to play the roles they are cast in then how they age or how many pounds they weight is no one's business but their own.
LOVES IT! She's right! Every time I see bad things about older stars I think, what the fuck are they SUPPOSED to look like now? Middle aged people? pfft. If you want young, have a look at Taylor Swifts ass. Stay out of Carrie Fishers.
Love,
Pornclerk
pornclerk.com
carrie fisher totally rocks!!! she is so funny! i saw her ini boston— one of the best shows i've ever been to.
Brilliant.
You go Carrie! We talk alot of shit when we are younger about not going to pot as we age and assuming we will always look "hot" forever. But life has the last laugh. None of know ahead of time how we will change as we age. Some of us age gracefully accepting the changes, others must rely on their MDs to help them along. After living 50 or so years and being fortunate to, figure in the stress and disappointment you've faced and everything else negative and then look in the mirror and see how you look.
lmao right on. i hate when people on these comment boards scrutinize celebs who are way better looking than them for their looks.
That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I now have a new respect for CF.
i think she's still hot actually
re: brilliant comments. Of course it was brilliant. Since her starring role as Princess Leah three decades ago, Carrie Fisher has written several novels. She's a highly aclaimed writer- "Postcards From the Edge, Anyone?" The woman can write, and her poisen pen was put to great use here. That rant made my day- why you sarcastically call her "classy," I'll never know, Perez, particularly when you are the guy who intimates that sperm is dripping from the lips of celebs you inexplicably dislike. That, my Hilton-esque friend, is classy. Uh, not.
She's one of the richest and most powerful women in show business. Now you can see why. Hysterically funny and brilliant!
Good for her!! She makes a great point and is hilarious in the process! What saddens me more is that there are people on here commenting that don't know who she is?! She is an amazing talent, we should see more of her!!
Dk who that is but hilarious! and very true.
She's a fucking riot.
Everyone should read her books.
Amen sistah!
How clever!!
Good on her, she has a point!
Nice finish.
you can tell by the comments who the tweens are whose parents don't beat them and keep them in line!! CARRIE FISHER IS AN ICON bow down children!!
That was hilarious! Get em' Carrie!
I AGREE WITH EVERY SINGLE WORD SHE SAYS. Those who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Let's judge these celebs on their art, their craft…not their bodies. Well, unless they're models. Models are just asking for it because they place their worth in their exterior, not their interior. Carrie Fisher - you fucking rock, girl. Keep it up