SYTYCD's Mary Murphy Recalls Her Abusive Past
Filed under: Reality Television > Sad Sad
For the first time ever, So You Think You Can Dance judge Mary Murphy has publicly discussed being the victim of a nine-year-long abusive relationship with her former husband.
So brave of her!
Murphy revealed that her ex began raping and beating her only three months after their wedding, and the abuse carried on for nine more years until she gathered up the courage to leave the abuser.
Mary recalled when the physical abuse began:
We'd had another jealous fight, screaming, crashing over furniture, and he said, "I want to have sex."
I was like, "Are you kidding me?! We're fighting here!" He said, "You're my wife, and you'll do what I tell you!"
I pulled out a kitchen knife and screamed, "You're going to have to stab me, because I'm not having sex with you!" He knocked it out of my hands, held me down and raped me.
God, how horrifying!
Murphy explained that over time she became numb to the abuse: "A fight, then rape, then presents: a dress, a diamond bracelet, earrings. In the first year or two, I'd fight back, but eventually, I'd just lie there. Get it over with, I thought. It'll be quick anyway."
Mary said she was too embarrassed to tell the police or the hospital for her injuries, but Murphy hit her all-time low in 1982 while pregnant with their child.
After entering her fourth month, Mary miscarried.
"My husband was disgusted, saying I murdered our baby, because I'd done some light dancing the night before," she revealed. "I was sinking deeper and deeper at that point, just reeling into despair."
It wasn't until her ex-husband traveled back to the Middle East to visit his family and proposed to another woman that Mary was finally ready to leave the jerk.
"I faced him one more time to sign the papers, and then I never heard from him again," Murphy bravely recalled.
Wow, what a story.
And hopefully an inspiration to those who are afraid to seek help!
[Image via WENN.]
I was just reading my new US Weekly that came today! So terrifying. I don't care who you are, you don't have the right to treat anybody like that. He was obviously pushing his own insecurities onto Mary. So sad that this is a classic case. I am a registered nurse and had to report domestic abuse yesterday for a woman coming in for surgery. So sad and shocking to witness what these men (or, in some cases, women) will say in public… I can only imagine what they say at home.
While I may not like her on my fave show, I really feel for her story and I am very glad that she was able to escape from that horrible man. If her story helps someone else in that same situation, then that's a wonderful thing. Glad that she seems to be much stronger now.
Mary Murphy is such an amazing woman! I'm glad she's coming out with her story and helping others by setting herself as an example. She's a brave woman. Much love and strength to her for surviving her past… it's just horrible she had to go through this…
feel bad for her even though i cant watch the show because of her ridiculous screaming
I love Mary. I'm proud that she was able to leave such a horrible person. I'm also proud that she is brave enough to come out to the public about this. What a horrific story, no wonder she gets so emotional on the show sometimes.
I hate to say this but I felt myself thinking makes sense when it stated he went back home to the Middle East. The misogyny there is without parallel. There are exceptions to every rule but some of these behaviors are in fact law there.
I feel for Mary and applaud her strength to exorcise herself from that situation but also to tell the tale and hopefully help others in a similar situation in the process.
middle eastern men are born and bred into a culture that subjugates women, treats them as second class citizens, and where it is ok to beat and murder them.
AMERICAN WOMEN STAY AWAY FROM MIDDLE EASTERN MEN! we are born into a culture in which we are created on equal standing with men!
I see a movie in this for sure..
Her Ex was from the Middle East? No wonder….pigs! I am sorry, but men from that side of the world have a bad rap when it comes to dealing with women. On the other hand, he was married to Mary Murphy! So annoying! I tease, I tease…… but ps Mary, LAY OFF THE BOTOX! OMG!
Okay WHY do these women always come out after its been decided the PUBLIC isn't that "into you" and say they've been victimized in some way??? Why now? UGH…..so this is the reason your a SCREAMING WHACKNUT on TV? Oh and yeah I just feel so bad for her…blah blah blah exactly what she wanted…whatever.
Is there anybody in hollywood who doesn't feel the need to share every shitty thing thats ever happened to them?
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she's obviously a gold digger, funny how the salient characteristic of her ex is that he's Middle Eastern
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Re: gapeachy – I absolutely agree. But unfortunately, men from western cultures will do the same thing - but it doesn't seem to be as wide spread here as it is in many muslim countries. And even the Japanese don't recognize women as equals yet. The sadest thing about this is that there are people - or should I say MEN - who will claim that "You can't RAPE your WIFE" because "it's her marital duty" to have sex with her husband. I've heard those claims before and those men are nothing but primitive, disgustingly screwed up human beings. I don't know this woman because I don't watch SYTYCD but kudos to her for speaking out. People need to hear more about marital rape!
I want to thank this woman for sharing, unlike several others. Spousal rape is one of the most common types of sexual assault, and until recent years it wasn't even recognized as a crime (and still isn't, in a few states.) A few comments (about the comments…) Gapeachy, you said "we are born into a culture in which we are created on equal standing with men!" Perhaps you should take a look at the culture in which you reside. Take a few sociology courses, read some statistics, and take a look around. Men have a higher standing in our culture, as they have had in most every culture they have created. It's time to wake up and smell the coffee…
I had pretty much the same story with my douche bag ex except it didn't take me 7 years to leave him!!! I couldnt imagine going that long with the shit he put me through! YOu have to be strong, and we dont have to put up with even ONE incident! If I could reach out to one person today who would leave their abuser it's so worth it…trust me. It's so worth leaving!!!!!!
Middle Eastern men treat their women horribly.
That chick makes me SICK! Everytime she laughs like a horse when people try to dance! WTF??? I CAN'T STAND her fucking retarded smile and laugh!
What is so amazing about her story? Honestly?
It is a very sad tale indeed but if her douchebag Middle-eastern husband hadn't left…she probably would still be numb and sucking up that sh*t.
She only escaped it because he left her!!! I get nothing empowering about her in this story at all.
btw…middle eastern men (not all mind you) are not anyone American Women should be dating…they are charming and all but they are also saddled down with some serious crazy cultural shit that should send any self respecting woman running for the hills. Take note ladies…Middle Eastern men can often be stuck mentally in the 13th century.
I like how its worded "she worked up the courage to leave him", no he left her for another woman. There is something wrong with a woman that would tolerate that type of behaviour from a man. In America there are many options for women this is not the middle east.
I feel bad for her, but I don't feel sorry for someone who stays for 9 years of abuse. That shows a serious lack of common sense. And I know where I'm coming from, my ex had the potential for it and I told him the FIRST time he hit me he would find himself locked up. He never touched me.
I wonder if she has her dates a little screwed up. She was only 24 in 1982. If she was abused for nine years, that meant that she married him when she was 15.
He should be tortured. And figures it's a middle eastern ego cock.
Re: MyOpinionOnly –
Why did you feel the need to preface with "while I may not like her". People need to learn to just speak their opinions on the topic at hand.
Re: ERRRBOOO – u are so right. plus she had to know what she was getting into marrying a middle eastern man. everyone knows that in that part of the world women are known to be 2nd class citizens. it is a part of their culture. yet, she chose to be with this man. now all the women here will say, oh your blaming the victim and all that bullshit. come on, in this day and age there are way too many resources to be in a relationship like that, especially if u dont have kids. if he wouldnt have left, would she still be with him? probably.
great. more reasons for westerners to think arab men are all misogynistic pigs, when theyre not all like that. just what we needed.
Way to survive! That's not an easy experience to go through, so it's nice to know she came out strong on the other side. Hopefully her stories and others like it will inspire other women in that type of situation.
She's a SURVIVOR!!!
too bad he didn't rip her fucking vocal cords out. screaming banshee bitch
sad story.
hah it took me a few months to realize this lady wasnt marie osmond
That's horrible! I feel so bad that she went through that. Nobody should have to endure abuse…it's such an ugly thing.
My level of respect for Mary has just increased that much more! I hope many women who are in abusive relationships can get the courage to leave and see how much they are really worth. My mother was one of them, and she is my inspiration now. Love you Mary Murphy! You will always be in my HOT TAMALE TRAIN!! Wooo hoooo!!=)
Re: sweetfreedom – Do you even have a clue how women are treated in Arab nations. We are talking about laws written that are damaging to women. All Arab men, certainly not, specifically some who are westernized but the way they treat women is part of their culture in the Arab world and that is still wrong.
what did she expect? he's from the middle east! Ew!
She should have known better than to marry a man from the Middle East.
Did she EVER think she was gonna be treated well?
At least she's done with him.
He rode the hot tamale train!!!!
she's really annoying, guy must have been desperate
i think its funny that just because he is middle eastern it is automatically assumed that he hates women, well obviously this specific person was a horrible person, middle eastern or not. there are lots of bad people, what about all of the men in the US murdering their wives and family, are they secretly middle eastern too? people deal with middle eastern people everyday in the US without even knowing it and they are good people.people need to open their eyes and stop being so ignorant!
Re: La Vie En Rose – oh to be a racist….stupid american
oh wow. her screaming on the show is awful but its amazing she can be that happy after all of that. its chilling.
This is the first time I've ever commented on anything that has been written on this site, and this is because this is the first time I've ever felt compelled to do so. I knew once I read the entry about her, that there would be ignorant, uneducated, mean spirited people writing extremely cruel and narrow minded things. Do you, the ones who judge her, laugh at her, mock her and supposedly "hate" her, even think? At all? Really. You obviously have internet access, which contains all the information of the world, so… what happened? Because you really have NO excuse for your ignorance. If you were from a nation without any access to any form of media that could give you the knowledge about these kind of things, then you would be excused - but your not. It sickens me. I would tell you to be ashamed, but that requires the ability to feel shame, so there's no use.
1. (…continued on the next post)
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It's not always the lack of knowledge that makes people say such idiotic things, even if it often is, but it's also a lot of times the lack of empathy. And I would never take pride in that. What makes you a social human being, is, among other things, being empathetic. The lack thereof only show an antisocial way of thinking, and it's disgusting. No shame, no empathy, no sympathy, no remorse, no responsibility - and no conscience. Just like the people who would, will and have done such things. Sympathizers for abusers, are rarely any different. They're the same color, just a different shade.
(…continued on the next post)
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If there's anyone out there, who's ever experienced anything similar to this, then I know you also have met such people. But be smart, be insightful - these are not normal people. Never forget that. Never let anyone or anybody tell you that you're the one to blame. That is not the truth - and it never will be. Love yourself and take pride in the fact that you're still here. You survived, now focus on living. Focus on those people that are good. I know it feels like there are few, in a world such as this, but believe me, there are plenty of people out there with empathy, insight and knowledge. Listen to them.
Best of luck. A.Ø.
Re: Arnulf Ø!!!SEMICOLON!!!verland –
2.
It's not always the lack of knowledge that makes people say such idiotic things, even if it often is, but it's also a lot of times the lack of empathy. And I would never take pride in that. What makes you a social human being, is, among other things, being empathetic. The lack thereof only show an antisocial way of thinking, and it's disgusting. No shame, no empathy, no sympathy, no remorse, no responsibility - and no conscience. Just like the people who would, will and have done such things. Sympathizers for abusers, are rarely any different. They're the same color, just a different shade.
(…continued on the next post)
I'm sorry Mary had to endure NINE years of abuse. We need to make help more available to women so they don't have to wait so long to get out of an abusive relationship. Thank you Mary for sharing a personal and very hurtful time in your life. You may have saved one!
Middle Eastern men, particularly Arabs, have less respect for their wives, than they do for their goats. This is true, I lived in Saudi Arabia for 4 years, & I saw it first hand. A woman has absolutely no rights, she cannot work, drive a car, or go out without a chaperone. For speaking with a man who is not her husband a woman can be thrown into jail, or publicly flogged, or even killed. A man can divorce her by saying "I divorce you " three times, & that's it, he's divorced. The poor woman is left on her own, usually her family do not want her back, because of course, she would be at fault as the husband divorced her. She would have been sold or traded as a 12, or 13 year old girl, for money or indeed the previously mentioned goats. She is an outcast to her family & brought disgrace as she is now the divorced woman & no use to them any more. It is an extremely sad life for Saudi women. Mary suffered a lot, she is lucky to have survived his brutal attacks on her.