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Introducing, The Twilight-Inspired…

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fang.jpg

Count Cockula Fleshjack!

Okay, maybe it's not inspired by Twilight per se, but it's sure banking off the vampire craze and we know more than one of you will be thinking of a certain sparkly vampire when you get your hands on this!

It's the sex toy with some bite!

The website ensures that the Count Cockula will "Polish up your stake… for an orgasm that will wake the living dead."

LOLZ!!!

Has the trend gone far enough yet?

    Posted: Oct 27, 2009 at 2:15 pm / Email this  »
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    See All 85 Comments

    85 comments to “Introducing, The Twilight-Inspired…”



    1. 1

      BUCK WILL LOVE THAT!



    2. 2

      LOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL



    3. 3

      Thanks for the laugh. TOO FUNNY!!!



    4. 4

      goin' to puke. brb.



    5. 5

      Is this a PORN site now Perez?!



    6. 6

      interesting.



    7. 7

      the worst part about it is that twilight fans will actually buy it…god..hear my prayer..please let this vampire fad die a quick but painful death…i ask all twilight nerds to reflect on the lameness u have infected our culture with



    8. 8

      uhhh weird! fleshlight



    9. 9

      …I have heard that this product is taking a big bite out of the competition.

    10. pazzy says – reply to this


      10

      i think people are taking this fad a taaaad too far.



    11. 11

      New Fang Texture!? Mine does not have that, damn you street vendors. I knew it was a generic….lol



    12. 12

      I just used mine. It's totally awesome! ;)



    13. 13

      I find it interesting the stuff you post under "If you're easily offended" but stuff like this should have a warning.



    14. 14

      Perez ordered a case of them :) lol



    15. 15

      you have got to be kidding, i'm getting one just for the experience



    16. 16

      i want 2! :D



    17. 17

      Ripped off straight from another site… and his commentary was waayyy funnier than your shit mario/sissy/ghost writer. pfft



    18. 18

      How is it used? It looks like a can of soda.
      Has anyone seen the "Natural Harvest" cook book? Maybe this has something to do with that.



    19. 19

      OMG, this thing is for losers.



    20. 20

      I do not even know what this is supposed to be, lol.



    21. 21

      WHAT????
      What's next fish lips sex toy inspired by the whore Shauna Sand….



    22. 22

      And here I've always thought teeth on dick was a BAD thing.



    23. 23

      perez already ordered his in extra small size.



    24. 24

      I bet you've got one shaped like Justin Bieber's mouth pedo.



    25. 25

      Re: FemaleFilmMajor –

      vampires although an annoying trend, is better than the Jonas Brothers which it seems have FINALLY begun to fade.



    26. 26

      OMG! Haha! That is soo funny. But its showing how far Twilight fan are willing to go.



    27. 27

      Re: Canadiana* – You mean D Listed? The best site? I love Michael K!!!!



    28. 28

      Do you know it is illegal to own over 20 vibrators in Texas. Yea umm yea.



    29. 29

      DO HAVE ONE MARIO?



    30. 30

      EWWWWWWWWWWW THAT IS SO WEIRDD



    31. 31

      there is also a sparkly dildo that Tantus makes



    32. 32

      Hahaha that is so funny!



    33. 33

      Re: karencarpenter – 9 Really? I heard it sucks!



    34. 34

      Re: Snuggies keep me snug and happy – Yes, yes and YES !



    35. 35

      I don't get it…



    36. 36

      How is this Twilight inspired??? Twilight vamps don't have fangs, more like Trueblood or VD inspired. It's a sex toy, sex is the last thing I think about when Twilight comes to mind.



    37. 37

      haha its like those creepy 'vag in a can'.
      Imagine BUYING this?
      time to reevaluate your life haah



    38. 38

      Re: Canadiana* –

      that's what I was going to say……



    39. 39

      Can Buffy slay it?

      Can it be blended?



    40. 40

      If twilighters do hook onto this there will be a LOOOT of, shall we say, 'happy' 12 year olds

    41. Laury says – reply to this


      41

      Sooooo I see you're still happily stealing your stories from other blogs…



    42. 42

      Wait…. Are you supposed to stick ur dick in there???? OH HELL NO!



    43. 43

      Re: SWEETPIECE! – Indeed! Buck is a closet gay boy. Poor Buck:(



    44. 44

      That's just creepy and weird.



    45. 45

      Oh my Gosh. This is wrong on so many levels. Seriously and why didn't you put this on a NSFW link, somebody could get in big trouble for accidently pulling that up a work!



    46. 46


    47. 47

      LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZ



    48. 48

      this is a rip off of the flesh light. and maybe you should do your homework before reporting on a topic. example: launching a fashion website when you can't dress yourself and just think lady gaga is genius. fail



    49. 49

      Re: FemaleFilmMajor – Yo, you dumb bitch, vampires are not a fad. Vampire movies have been around every since film/movies began. There is a fascination with vampires and the legendary monsters and I hate to tell, but your God won't hear your prayers and he won't be killing off the vampire fad that you so wish to die painfully.



    50. 50

      Re: pitseleh8 – You you dumb fuck, maybe before you start calling ripoff and shit, you should follow your own advice and do your homework, ya know if you click on the link in the post, then you would see that this new Fleshjack is by Fleshlight. So yeah, do your homework and pay attention. Though i do agree with on the fact that perez is an idiot and needs to do his homework as well and he is a major failure…hmm…possibly something you two have in common.



    51. 51

      Hey perez, you stupid fat ass dumb fuck, i hope you get fined for this post. Good job posting a link to a porn site. im sure parents everywhere are thanking you for exposing their children not only to sexual toys but porn, oh Gay Porn. Good job fucker. I know i don't want my lil sister coming to this site anymore.



    52. 52

      Re: popstar2k2 – wow, someones a closed-minded conservative bigot…..

    53. ap076 says – reply to this


      53

      I am letting this one pass by, too easy.



    54. 54

      Re: popstar2k2 – hahahaha, chill out dude, your sister is not in harms way. As you said he is a "dumb gay fucker" and unless shes just an impressionable little girl she would just laugh~!!



    55. 55

      At first look I was like; "Yay, a new toy for my vajayjay!"..Then, I see a pic of one dude biting another… Then "polish up your stake", and im like hmm I have a button…



    56. 56

      …wouldn't the teeth…uhh..hurt?



    57. 57

      LMAO I love it!



    58. 58

      Oh damn Mario, yet another thing you took from Michael K!! A few days late dear.



    59. 59

      Oh Perez-I'm sure you'll get one imagining it's Lambert!



    60. 60

      lolololololololololololololololololololololololololollolololololololololololol!!!!!!!!!!



    61. 61

      nasty gay smut. disgusting.



    62. 62

      LMAO!!!!! wow



    63. 63

      Stolen from Michael at D Listed. Can't you come up with anything original?



    64. 64

      I wonder if they casted the mold from Glambert(adam Lambert)'s mouth keep on Glittering Glambert keep on Glittering!!!!

    65. 6one9 says – reply to this


      65

      Bet dudes will use the mouth one “` like a pocket pussay!! LOL



    66. 66

      O_o well….just when you think you've seen it all



    67. 67

      Too funny. My friend showed me a link of this a few days ago because we both got a good lol out of it. XD



    68. 68

      FUNNY HOW MARIO PUT UP THE FLESHJACK CAN AND NOT THE FLESHLIGHT SUCCU DRY >_>



    69. 69

      thats a bit much….wtf….lol



    70. 70

      Great stocking stuffer, LOL!



    71. 71

      Re: popstar2k2 –
      um, why would an 8 year old be on this website anyway? thats bad parenting love, not perez hilton's fault



    72. 72

      2 much!



    73. 73

      I bet mario is buying two, so he can fantasize about having his two inch wang sucked by the dudes from twilight. And then will post about how awesome it was. "we loved it!!!!" etc.



    74. 74

      do they have a mini can for your little peepee?



    75. 75

      thats too much.
      and they already have a twilight inspired dildo that sparkles and gets cold.
      freakshows



    76. 76

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



    77. 77

      lol well im N0T buying tht!



    78. 78

      How nice.



    79. 79

      that is redic. i never want to see the word "vampire" again.



    80. 80

      Oh…my!!!! LMAO!!!



    81. 81

      YAWN!!!!!! so over the twilight craze

    82. Zefie says – reply to this


      82

      OMG Ewwww
      xD



    83. 83

      It could have been inspired by "True Blood" since "TB" has sex in it and "Twilight" doesn't.

    84. licq says – reply to this


      84

      disgusting.. —



    85. 85

      Eww that is so wrong.