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Rent A Jersey Guidette For Your Next Office Party!

| Filed under: MTVSnookiReality TV


We're just surprised this hasn't happened sooner, with all the skanky reality stars running around! (Though we're sure there are a few Rock of Love girls paying bills by stripping!)

Looking for someone mildly famous for being punched in the face on a mid-level reality show to appear at your next office Christmas bash?! Well, you can put a deposit down on Nicole Polizzi, aka "Snookie" from MTV's The Jersey Shore.

For a mere cost of $2,000, Snooki will come on over to your house or office or your parent's basement and shoot the breeze with you. (Just make sure you have the fixins for Bay Breezes.)

We can not think of anyone who would actually want this person in their house or 50 feet near them! Forgetting that she is probably a carrier for more diseases than a cockroach, you are basically paying for her to come to your party, drink all your booze, vomit on your carpet, grope a few people and take your money.

Who in this economy can afford such a waste of money?

[Image via WENN.]

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69 comments to “Rent A Jersey Guidette For Your Next Office Party!”

  1. 1

    I really, really, really hope that no one pays for her to show up anywhere. God knows she does NOT need the ego boost…

  2. 2

    Trashy. Uggh, so trashy!

  3. 3

    I would not pay for that NY girl!!!! She is NOT a JERSEY GIRL we do not act like that and NO I would NEVER PAY for that..I wouldnt even take money for her to come to my party.

  4. 4

    i have to agree with you. i've lived from coast to coast and know jersey girls. they are brash, funny but often obnoxious……and they can throw down and scare most guys who aren't from the same town as them…

  5. 5

    i would! i would!

  6. 6

    perez. enough! you are such a douche. be nicer to people its one thing to report gossip and its another to tear people down. i dont think that any of the kids on jersey shore are really that gross or skanky. they are all good kids with loving families. of course they are hamming things up for the camera, that is what they are supposed to do for reality shows.

    id rather host them in my house and let them stay with me than to run into you.

    enough already. you're fucking sick.

  7. 7

    Sounds great….I'd ask her how it felt to get punched in the face…haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I hope it HURT!

    No thanks, I'd rather rent the Bubonic Plague over New Years Eve.

  8. 8

    Snookie is i psyco, but really funny. my friends got me hooked the show so.. i always have to watch it

  9. Qraig says – reply to this


    I want her to come over!

  10. Fab09 says – reply to this


    Wow, not only would that be a huge waste of money but she would definitely end up getting hit in the face at least once!

  11. 11

    She is seriously heinous looking. GROSS!!

  12. 12

    Ok, I HATE to admit this. but after seeing the entire episode where she got punched….I was wrong. The Youtube clip made it look like she was getting in this guys face for no reason and just being obnoxious. The actually episode shows that the guy had been stealing drinks from them all night and she was trying to keep him from stealing her drink……..Siiiiigh, OK, Snookie. You weren't as big a bar hag as I thought……in that instance.

  13. 13

    What the hell is wrong with this chick's lips??? She looks constipated!!!!!!!

  14. 14

    Has anyone ever considered just building a wall around new jersey so these people can't get out? ha ha

  15. 15

    I fricken HATE that face she is making-Why TF do young girls do that with their mouths-all screwed up-it looks completeyl STOOOOPID!
    It makes her look like she doesn't have any teeth-like some old woman
    Either frown or smile damn it

  16. 16

    Is that the one they have the unfattering I mean unflattering :) pic of in a hot tub?

  17. 17

    I kinda like this girl. I would pay

  18. 18

    This skank isn't worth a penny.

  19. 19

    This pig has more of a mustache than Eva MANdes.

  20. bash2 says – reply to this


    So everyone gets up in arms because Rianna is punched in the face but it doesn't matter when it's just another girl. Well then why is Chris Brown the center of all evil for some people? Jesus, grow up. She and any woman that is hit deserves the same response - some of u people are sick. And FYI she's not even from NJ.

  21. 21

    What's with the lips? Is she trying to pucker or something? She looks stupid and when she does that, it makes her mustache look thicker.

  22. 22

    What the hell is wrong with her mouth? Does she hold it that way on purpose? I looks like she just sucked on an asshole with her lips like that.

    This show is exactly why reality shows should be banned. All of the low-life trash want their 15 minutes of fame and a big fat paycheck for acting like low-intellegence jerks. Balloon boy anyone? Guidettes anyone?

  23. 23

    so she is running an escort service?

  24. 24

  25. 25

    she is truly hideous. looks like tony soprano got a sex change. long nose, small lips, fat. yuck! italian americans are always ugly.

  26. 26

    This girl is such an insult to italian-americans and perez, you also insulted cockroaches by comparing her to one. She's an airheaded bimbo who's not even from nj! shes a new yorker!

  27. 27


  28. 28

    Sadly, I think there are plenty of people who will scrape together $2,000 for a Snookie "visit".
    The power of bad TV ..

  29. senna says – reply to this


    yeah, I might rent her so that we can throw darts at her.

  30. 30

    Snooki is my girl. She's crazy and funny. I love the relationship she has with her mom, but I won't pay her a dime. She's young and just wants to live it up and have a good old time, but I pretty much passed that stage. Sorry Snook, it's grown up time.

  31. 31

    where do I sign?

  32. SB26 says – reply to this


    Ugh, this hot mess is from my home town. Needless to say, we are not proud…nor is she any representation of our town.
    She'd be a dumb whore at home too.

  33. 33

    Next we will be assaulted with a Snookie of love dating type show.

  34. 34

    How the fuck should we know? You didn't have the decency to quote her price or her contact info… ;)

  35. 35


  36. 36


  37. 37

    LMFAO! Is this a sick joke?! You have to be fucking kidding me right?! God, what ppl won't do for money.

  38. 38

    why is she doing that shit with her lips

  39. 39

    LOL! I find it so amazing how people on reality TV shows get this total ego that's even bigger than the egos of real celebrities who actually have talent or looks (or both) to justify it.

  40. 40

    The Italian Lil Kim. Anyone else thinks so?

  41. 41

    I'd pay her to stay away from my office party

  42. 42

    Does she really expect people to believe her tan and hair is real?

  43. 43

    no thank you

  44. YUCK says – reply to this


    you perez writers are so insecure of anyone else earning a dime that you think you could have earned. I like snooki and she seems like a nice girl. and sammy and ronnie are so sweet together. I dont have a dispensable 2k right now but if I was in the position to do it I might just for entertainments sake. fuck you perez writers. I didnt think anyone could be worst than perez but the perez writers are so full of unnecessary hate and they are fucking haters.

  45. 45

    Fuck yes! I'll pass the hat around…come party at my house, Snookie!

  46. 46

    You Guy's dont miss JLO New Single Louboutins..the beat is HOT HOT HOT..it's out on amazon and itunes..only for 99 cents

  47. 47

    If you decide to pay her to come to your party…Can you please tell her to at least wax that HAIR ON HER UPPER LIPS!

  48. 48

    She is shaped like a troll those fat balloon tits and Ompha Loompa head

  49. 49

    really??? this bitch think she's worth something?

  50. 50

    That girl is so full of shit trying to pass for white. She's about as white as Michael Jackson was. She looks like she smells too.

  51. 51

    i wouldn't pay 1 penny for this skank b*tch

  52. ap076 says – reply to this


    Can you replace pin the tail on the donkey with punch the whore in the face?
    (seriously no violence, especially against women by men).

  53. 53

    please stop saying she is an embarrassment to italians—SHE IS NOT ITALIAN!!!!— SHE IS ADOPTED FROM CHILE— so her dirtstache, brownish skin, midget height, terrible sense of style, and slutty demeanor should NOT be indicative of italian characteristics……….. and im sorry chileans, really no offense to you.. im sure you are ashamed she is of your ethnicity just as most italians are of the rest of the crew!!!!!

  54. naima says – reply to this


    You have got to be kiddin me !!! What happened when people used to be famous for being talented? Who in hell woud waste their money to have her at an office party or at any party for that matter. She looks to me more like the office skank. She is ugly and trashy and I woudnt invite her at my dog's party.

  55. 55

    She needs the money for more booze and BumpIts

  56. 56

    so nasty my husband is from new jersey and so is my dad and most of his side of the fam all i can say is i am happy they are nothing like this trash and that they moved before i had to be born there… people from nj that are like that are just nasty skanky people with a really distorted self image they all think they are the shit and everyone needs to always have eyes on them but they are nothing special…. I think it is all that dirty jersey air getting to their brains

  57. 57

    Re: take the pickle out – lol i love that idea it would keep my mother in law contained

  58. 58

    I won't even let her near my dog.

  59. 59

    she is so F-ING UGLY!!! she has such nasty thin lips, when she pucker them like this it looks like a loose porn star A$$ hole LMAO!!! If she keeps that nasty pucker up she'll have upper lip wrinkles in no time… cant you see them form already?!?!?! BAHAHAHAHAHA

  60. 60

    its sooo gonna be my halloween costume next year!!

  61. 61


  62. 62

    hahaha….too funny! roflmao!


  63. 63

    such a crude comment u make about this woman……

  64. 64

    I would pay big to have her dance in a cage with Lady Gaga at my family Christmas… Anything to distract from the dysfunction!

  65. 65

    These two couples are the biggest idiots I have every seen!! Not only are they grose, they look like white trash scum bags. Nobody wants to look at that!! Stay home you fat cows!!

  66. 66

  67. 67

    i would have her come over at the same time the hired hitman was arriving

  68. 68

    she looks like a dirty guido that has taken it bent over up her loose hole by about 800 boys who have smelly crotches lkike her

  69. 69