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Mr. Cellophane

| Filed under: Personally PerezBroadway Babies

It has always been a lifelong dream of ours to be in a Broadway musical! There's just one little problem - Perez can't sing! Ha

But, hey, that didn't stop Rosie O'Donnell!

Last year, we decided to put ourselves on tape for the producers of Chicago and audition for the role of Amos. We even worked with a vocal coach for a bit!

Well, we didn't get the part! Double HA

And, because Perez just loves to humiliate himself, HERE is the video we made singing Mr. Cellophane.

We had fun making it!

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225 comments to “Mr. Cellophane”

More comments: [1] 2 3 »

  1. 1

    Christ, I though I had a computer virus for a second.

  2. Zefie says – reply to this



  3. 3

    "We had fun making it!"

    And we will have great fun making fun OF it.

  4. 4

    I will comment but I'll not watch it. I just ate a very lovely dinner and don't want to puke it up.

  5. 5

    lol, good try but you suck perez.

  6. 6

    Not too bad Perez.

  7. 7

    haha You are fabulous perez :)

  8. 8

    well that's four minutes i'll never get back.
    btw for someone who is so dramatic and flaming, your acting at the beginning was also painful to watch.

  9. 9

    Haha, Perez, you are so funny. At least you have hootspa!

  10. 10

    I love this! You have real voice talent! Who's your accompanist, Lady GaGa?:) Wow, I see a bright future for you if you ever want to act, you seemed to completely feel it!

  11. 11

    I am so embarassed for you. Seriously embarassed for you.

  12. 12

    before all the heinous haters comment…let me just say you tried!…and you're an awesome person for putting it out here knowing the awful things people are going to say…XX

  13. 13

    You are no different than the "mentally challenged" girls you make fun of from that-video-site-which-I-cannot-name

  14. 14

    awh. i haven't watched it yet. but i hate that you're setting yourself up for all the hate comments everyone is gonna make.

  15. 15

    heehee i love it!!

  16. 16


  17. 17

    it honestly wasn't that terrible, the singing at least…
    i think you like the attention by saying "loves to humiliate himself".
    : P

  18. 18

    Hey….You were very good…seriously….very good…..Keep it up !!!!!!!!,,,,,,Thanks for being so honest and forth coming with this…..there loss :)

  19. 19

    you're pretty good actually!

  20. 20

    its actually not that bad :P
    in a high school musical sort of way, but still :)

  21. 21

    i won't say a damn thing

  22. 22

    That was pretty good Perez. Good job on going after something you love to do!

  23. 23

    I'm surprised, but yeah, I liked it.

  24. 24


  25. Laury says – reply to this


    While I give you kudos for taking that risk, I can see why you didn't get the part, Perez. And no, it's not because you can't sing. I've heard worse. The problem is that you overacted. A role like Amos demands introspection, and you have to relate to your character on some level. Amos is a poor guy who is invisible to everyone around him, he never brings attention to himself, which is the complete opposite of you. Being the shameless famewhore that you are, I really don't know if you can relate to a character like Amos. Hell, I think you would have had a better chance at landing the role of Roxie Hart :P

  26. 26

    I loved loved loved it!

  27. 27

    You just made my day you disgusting pig. You look like an ape.

  28. 28

    hahahaha at was funier than that bullshit of 5dlls u made of cartooon

  29. 29

    OMG! Stop wasting your God given talent on this "Lindsey Has Crabs" poop. The Great White Way has a Key Light just waiting for you!

  30. 30

    it wasnt that bad, i think u might be even better than ashlee simpson, wait who isnt? :P

  31. 31

    perez wasnt all that bad!!!

  32. 32

    good for you : )

  33. 33

    WELL DONE! i thought that was great :p enjoyed watchin it, n u enjoyed doin it, which i guess is the whole point of stuff like that :p

  34. 34

    Its not bad at all! looks like fun!

  35. 35

    Love you Perez!! That was very brave. Haters wouldn't have the balls to even try that. Kudos :) !

  36. 36

    After seeing that I sniffed my own shit, and think I prefer that much more…

  37. 37

    i worship you i think you should've gotten it! so many more people would go to see it if you were in it

  38. 38

    This site just keeps getting WORSE and WORSE. Perez isn't writing anymore - his 'INTERNS' are - ugh.

  39. 39

    i think that's what my asshole must look like when its retracting after taking a shit.

  40. 40

    You're a fat ugly prick

  41. missB says – reply to this



  42. 42

    Perezito! You are MAGNIFICENT!! Qien dice que no puedes cantar? If Rosie did it, hey so can you!! I would pay to see you in a heartbeat!

  43. 43

    It's not so bad. Much better performance than Rosie IMO.

  44. 44

    I think that you should have dressed in character. B/c they probably thought that they could not have seen you in that role. So you have to make them see you in that role. Also you were kinda trying to act in a tight space b/c the camera was so close up. I would def. Have some one film it.Got to fake it to make it baby!!!!! If you have no skills:)

  45. 45

    Re: Laury – I love you

  46. 46

    that shit was hilarious!! too bad you didnt get the roll, you actually sing pretty well.

  47. 47

    Was it the part of Ms. Piggy?

  48. 48

    Can't act either.

  49. 49

    I would love to see you on broadway!!! Everyone has a dream, you can do it perez!

  50. 50

    Though the acting was pretty shoddy, I'm actually kind of surprised that the singing wasn't quite as bad as I imagined it would be.

  51. 51

    not that bad…!!

  52. ap076 says – reply to this


    It is not my inclination to pick on such an easy target.
    I can see why you really hate the fact that Ms. Simpson-Wentz is doing well in the show again but why have you taken their advertising dollars?
    I have to remind myself to not watch or comment upon Assisted Living tomorrow.

  53. 53

    I think you sounded awesome. I would pay to see you sing. ;)
    Keep trying, they will eventually give in and give you a part!

  54. 54

    that was great well done!!!

  55. 55

    I loved it! I'm so sorry that you didn't get the part…honestly, if I were choosing a person for a broadway show, I'd look more into a person's confidence, and personality, and how they put themselves into character for the audition, and I think you did that wonderfully. Plus, I like your voice! I always like different when it comes to broadway and plays. Good job and if I were you, I would try and try again! :D

  56. sj15 says – reply to this


    that was actually really good!! i would love to see you on broadway!

  57. 57

    ohhh i like i like!!!

  58. 58

    Now i understand why u didnt get the part.. you over act it!

  59. 59

    You did a good job! Way to be brave :)

  60. 60

    HAHA! Dream on, Perez! Guess you'll get to Brodaway only if you buy a ticket!

  61. 61

    How the fuck did you get into NYU's acting program? is that a lie?

  62. 62

    I thought it was pretty good, P.

  63. 63


  64. 64

    way much better than the one I watched on broadway.

  65. 65

    Not bad! I didn't like how the piano player had to double your vocal line- to make sure you had the rigtt pitches. But, you're a decent singer. And kudos for having the balls to put it out there! I admire your bravery!

  66. 66

    Don't even need to see it cuz U absolutely, undeniably SUCK major azz. Sure do live up to your moniker: P-FIZZLE.

  67. 67

    Not as bad as I thought it would be. At least you knew to audition for Amos and not Billy.

  68. 68

    honestly your singing isn't that bad
    but your acting is horrendous, sorry

  69. 69

    mario I bash you all the time but that wasn't bad ,keep up the practice and you'll get it

  70. 70

    Good job! I mean it wasn't amazing, but like idk u tried and thats all that matters.

  71. 71

    Haha I like that you can laugh at yourself. Definitely an A for effort and an A+ for realizing that you can't sing. You also look like you've been smoking meth, no?

  72. 72

    That's a face only a Russian serial killer cannibal would love…
    the fucking ego on it…it could power a city

  73. 73

    The character is not supposed to be gay. even if you sang really well, you would never get the part because of your gay mannerisms.

  74. 74

    You are no different than the "mentally challenged" girls you make fun of from YouTube. Now you want to be exactly like a celebrity..

  75. Uhhhh says – reply to this


    I bet most of the people commenting on this have no idea the difference between broadway acting/singing as opposed to that of movies. Sure, you are not the best singer or actor, but I can definitely see the broadway in your performance. It is supposed to be big and cheesy at parts. So, good attempt and good for you for trying at something you wanted to!

  76. 76

    I don't want my ears to bleed your voice is Fukin annoying Mario!

  77. 77

    It wasn't BAD…

  78. 78

    that was pretty gewd actually 8D

  79. 79

    Actually, I thought it was pretty good. He fit the acting part at least.

  80. 80

    I didn't know pigs could sing. You look like Porky the Pig singing LOL I saw 2 seconds of it and couldn't stop laughing. No wonder Slimy is a #1 artist with your ear for music. You have no room to talk about the PEP or dissing people like Tila T. You suck fat boy!

  81. 81

    Re: gduque – LMFAO

  82. 82

    I actually think it's not bad, not good enough for Broadway, but not embarrassing either

  83. 83

    Truthfully, I don't think the singing was the worst part. Perez, you are a decent singer. No, you are not exceptional and most certainly not Broadway caliber, but you are not tone deaf either! However, you are not a talented actor. Your emotion was on the surface; not believable. I don't even think you would be a convincing soap actor. Sorry :(

  84. 84

    Re: Laury
    Wow! I agree. Those are powerful thoughts

  85. Monza says – reply to this


    Your voice is extremely irritating and so shrill. You just need to shut up.

  86. Monza says – reply to this


    You're also not a very natural actor, yet you studied theatre, didn't you? Ouch!!

  87. 87

    OK. Seriously. Perez, it wasn't good. It wasn't bad either, tho. I think it needs work, but I think that would have been the right part to try out for. Don't give up your dream. Maybe you can do it at the Pasadena Playhouse. Start local, hon.

  88. 88

    How embarassing.

  89. 89

    Hey porky, let me help you out with why you didn't get the part.

    1. You can't sing.
    2. You can't act.
    3. You're too fucking ugly.
    4. The curtains wouldn't be able to open wide enough to show your entire fat, "harvest moon" head.

    Why don't you just change your name to Perez "WTF" Hilton and save us a few keystrokes.

    P.S. You owe me a new keyboard, mine in now covered with vomit and ear blood.

  90. 90

    Hey hunny!! I think you sound great :) Don't listen to all the haters.. Atleast you had the balls to try, that's more than most of us can say!

  91. 91

    Not bad. I think if you worked more at it, you'd have a chance.

  92. 92


  93. 93

    I expected you to be horrible…however, you're really not that bad.

  94. 94

    wowww perezzz i lovEEEEEEEEEDD ittt !!! u r good babyy!!:)

  95. 95


  96. 96

    A touch of makeup and a dab of dance would have made it delightful. You have "Mr. Cellophane" nailed!

  97. 97

    honestly that wasn't bad at all. you were definitely into it and there's some strength behind your voice. i wouldn't give up yet if i were you!

  98. 98

    Perez, that was so excellent. I'm a former theatre student and can tell you that musical theatre is the hardest form of acting to pull off, and I think you could have done something really great with that role. Your facial expressions reflected Amos through and through! I think you should definitely audition for another show. It would be interesting.

  99. tamra says – reply to this


    FAIL … but u got gutz girl!

  100. 100

    u can dowit

More comments: [1] 2 3 »